PDA

View Full Version : How many husbands help you



Iris Girl
April 23rd, 2017, 10:08 AM
How many of Husbands help you with general chores. Cleaning the house, yard work, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking. Mine fights me every time I tell him we need to clean. He does not mow or do yard work other then raking leaves. He does not grocery shop and never cooks. Cleaning is a fighting match, and he is clueless to laundry. He claims NO MAN helps their wives , I say 90% help as many hands make light work and all get free time then. He works full time I work part time but have held up to 3 jobs outside the home at once when he was unemployed.

Jean Sewing Machine
April 23rd, 2017, 10:19 AM
I lost my grocery shopping, yard work doing launderer 11 years ago. I really miss him for more than those reasons, but he was a great help. He loved working in the yard and did many large yard projects over the years, his specialty was building retaining walls for garden areas. He built a beautiful pond at one house we owned. He grocery shopped because I hated it and he wanted good stuff to eat. It was a process over the years to get the balance of work load around the house negotiated, not always as it was at the end. He never cooked, and never cleaned unless prodded, but he would help when needed. I sure miss having someone to push that vacuum cleaner!

Ginny B
April 23rd, 2017, 10:29 AM
My dh does a lot around here. The only thing he doesn't do is laundry. I really don't like to do the weekly grocery shopping so I am blessed that grocery shopping is one of the things he does every week. I think if your husband looked around and observed other husband's, he would see that yes, hubby's actually do participate in the necessary chores of life.

grammaterry
April 23rd, 2017, 10:29 AM
Ah I'm sorry he doesn't help! I do inside jobs he does outside and maintenance. I do flower gardening ke uses power equipment. He sometimes throws in a laundry load, rarely folds or puts away. I won't be able to live here I anything happens to DH. I can't keep up the drive way or mow the fields or cut firewood or fix a faucet or anything else for that matter. We are truly the others half

Bubby
April 23rd, 2017, 10:37 AM
After being a bachelor his whole life until 9 years ago when we got married, Jeff knows how to cook, clean and do laundry. He works full time for the State and is on call 24/7, often putting in a 55-60 hour work week. Then there are the apartments where he works on Saturdays a lot of the time. We have about 5 acres in our yard that have to be mowed once or twice a week for about 7 months each year. I help out with the mowing when I can. All things considered, I don't expect him to do much in the house but he helps me with anything I have trouble doing myself and he's a huge help with the Girls. I think it's a matter of balance and circumstances.

I do almost everything in our home and run our company. I also substitute teach Sunday School and do volunteer work about 8 hours each week.

When Jeff and I both worked outside our home he helped me with everything, which I think is only right.

shirleyknot
April 23rd, 2017, 10:46 AM
What's a husband?

source of joy
April 23rd, 2017, 10:50 AM
My husband took on a LOT of extra house work and outside work when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness about 8 years ago now. He vacuums along with the children, dusts, cleans toilets, mows the lawn, helps with other gardening needs, does some grocery shopping, I still do the majority of grocery shopping, cooking, laundry and homeschooling of our children. He helps with the homeschooling as well. I think times have changed significantly. My dad was also a huge help around the house.

Iris Girl
April 23rd, 2017, 10:54 AM
I am happy to see that most husbands do help. Not saying mine does nothing but its very little and always causes a fight. His job to clean the toilet and tub and sweep I mop and vacuum and I have finally gotten him doing dishes on the weekends so I have a break from that. He claims his grandfather and father never did anything so he's following suit. Oh and loves to bring did YOUR father do any of that? ( I am an only child from a single parent so I have no idea what the man who fathered might or might not do. But I grew up near 2 Uncles who were father figures and in those days most women did not work outside the home, but then man did repairs and yard work . Mine will rake leaves and shovel/snowblow repairs we do together for the most part.

Carlie Wolf
April 23rd, 2017, 11:00 AM
I'm with you Irish Girl. Neither of mine did either. I think that's why they are now ex's. So I still do all the cleaning but the glory is that now it's even less the amount to clean. The house stays miraculously clean for a long time.

TMP
April 23rd, 2017, 12:02 PM
I guess I am very lucky. Mine does all the yard work. He also helps me clean everything. We have been married 43 years in June and he always has helped me. He helped me whether or not I had a job. He would get up at night when the kids were infants and help. I do most of the cooking unless its out on the grill. He always helps me clear off the table after we eat and load the dishwasher. Reading all this makes me realize how lucky I am.

Hulamoon
April 23rd, 2017, 12:31 PM
Mine was okay until the girls went into preschool. I worked mornings and he worked nights. When they started school he would drop them off and go surfing all day and then go to work. So I worked all day and took care of the kids and house the rest of the night.

I stopped doing his laundry and the rest is history.

MRoy
April 23rd, 2017, 12:33 PM
My DH doesn't help out with the mowing and housework but he's a full-time farmer and has another business too, meaning his days are at least 12 hrs long. He leaves the house about 5:30 am and doesn't get back in before 5:30 pm. In the summer, it's later than that. He does cook steaks and fries fish...and he's better at making fried potatoes than I am.

Deegles
April 23rd, 2017, 12:48 PM
I am happy to see that most husbands do help. Not saying mine does nothing but its very little and always causes a fight. His job to clean the toilet and tub and sweep I mop and vacuum and I have finally gotten him doing dishes on the weekends so I have a break from that. He claims his grandfather and father never did anything so he's following suit. Oh and loves to bring did YOUR father do any of that? ( I am an only child from a single parent so I have no idea what the man who fathered might or might not do. But I grew up near 2 Uncles who were father figures and in those days most women did not work outside the home, but then man did repairs and yard work . Mine will rake leaves and shovel/snowblow repairs we do together for the most part.

I bet if his family was living modern day they would help with the chores! It is a different time now vs then. You could always help yourself out by hiring it all done. Perhaps when you assign a dollar figure to chores, he would be more apt to help.

I am lucky as my man loves to load and unload laundry (folding/hanging up/putting away not so much). I enjoy doing the lawn and dont mind taking the helm on that one. If I am pressed for time or not feeling well, he will cook upon my instructions. There was that one time he winged it with a pot roast and put cloves as a spice as a rub, and not just a little a whole lot! It was odd to come home to a house that smelled like cookies cooking, when it was really pot roast. I did try it, and as I figured was inedible. It went to the compost pile and not even the animals in the wild would touch that!

Claire Hallman
April 23rd, 2017, 12:53 PM
Mine is great, when we both worked full time we had a housekeeper but since we are retired he helps. Wait, helps is not the right work, that sounds like it is all our job and he is being kind to pitch in. He is just as responsible for the house, yard, food.and laundry after all, he eats, messes up the clothes and generally lives here, too.
He has done the floors since my first back surgery and sometimes does other cleaning stuff inside. I usually plant most of the flowers and weed outside. He is not much of a cook and I don't like the way he does laundry but he is willing to help with both of those things. I am pretty sure I got a gem.
BTW my dad also did the yard and the dishes.

jjkaiser
April 23rd, 2017, 01:02 PM
My husband does everything. He does all the yard work and gardening, he loves it I have a black thumb. He chops all the wood, cuts the grass, shivels the snow, does 80% of the grocery shopping, and 50% of the cooking. He works from home so one of us is always cooking it seems like. He picks up clutter, newspapers and stuff but has allergies so I dust, vacuum, clean bathrooms and wash windows. I also wash dishes, he is very tall and gets a backache bending over the sink. I love washing dishes and vacuuming. He has done his own laundry for 20 years. He started doing lots of these things about 20 years ago when I started working part time second shift. He also was great at getting up in the middle of the night when kids were babies and later helping them with homework and reading bedtime stories and giving baths. I am really lucky. And he does everything without me asking him to. It works for us.

laura44
April 23rd, 2017, 01:08 PM
Little different situation here. My husband worked full time as a police officer and I was
a stay at home mom so I did everything. Now that he is retired I do all the house cleaning,
yardwork, cooking and shopping. I don't mind, if I asked for help he would gladly help me,
I don't let him shop because the grocery bill would be $100 more. He also has no clue what a
hammer is. On the flip side he is a chaplin for our local hospital, senior home, and does jail ministry.
I couldn't do what he does.

pcbatiks
April 23rd, 2017, 01:22 PM
My DH works full time plus in a management position. Some days it's very long hours for him. I do most of the stuff around the house. That doesn't mean that I am an expert or efficient by any stretch of the imagination. After all...I'm a quilter and get easily distracted from chores.

He will help whenever I ask and lots of times when I don't ask. I like to mow and he does the weedeating. He also like to cook on the grill and does a great job. He works very hard but will always help when I need him too. He is a keeper.

Carolyn
April 23rd, 2017, 01:49 PM
"How do you get him to do that?" That is a question I hear a lot when we have company. Many are surprised to see him clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen. Occasionally a male will make a comment like, he would make a good housewife or you need to let the ladies do that and come have coffee with us. Bill just says he is helping me and continues with his job. We have always shared all chores inside and outside of the home. Bill's office is right next to the laundry room so he does the laundry as he works most of the time. I do the serious cleaning, cooking, etc. It has been this way since we were married almost 24 years ago. Weeks when he travels is when I really realize how much he does. We would not know any other way.

MHG Winnower
April 23rd, 2017, 01:54 PM
Whoa....I am one lucky woman! If it needs done, it gets done. Tasks are not separated by gender around here. I can use power tools with the best of them! He is the chief dishwasher loader/unloader since I do most of the cooking.

Mom23
April 23rd, 2017, 01:54 PM
I....do....everything..... I do have a cleaning lady that comes in once a month though. I'm not complaining because we own a business and my husband works very hard. He leaves for work at 5:30 and gets home around 6:00-7:00 for dinner. After eating he showers and sleeps in his chair until he goes to bed, if he doesn't have to go back to work. If I need something done I leave a note on the table and he will take care of it in a day or two.

That being said, at our Easter gathering we were discussing our broken outdoor light fixture. I said I've had new ones for five years but they hadn't been replaced. My uncle came yesterday and replaced them for me while hubby is gone on a hunting trip. I'm real tempted to hire someone to tear out our dead shrubs since that's been on the list for some time but he promised to take care of it when he gets home.

Vonnie
April 23rd, 2017, 02:08 PM
I'm not allowed to mow. I really do have a brown thumb! I do the occasional weed pulling or sweeping off the porch.

DH is color insensitive. Can not sort clothes for laundry. He does all the rest of the laundry (we do it together except for the sorting). He's OCD when it comes to folding his clothes. If I fold them, he just refolds them. When I'm out of town, he gets one of the kids to sort clothes (They are grown now but one still lives at home). The year my father passed away, the oldest was 10. I put him in charge of cooking and laundry. DH makes a mean peanut butter sandwich. You notice I did not say jelly? LOL. Whenever I tell him it's his turn to cook, he either runs out for fast food or calls out for pizza. Hey, that means no mess for me! I'm going out of town again and told my son that he needs to make sure his father eats something besides peanut butter sandwiches. Told him he was in charge of the kitchen while I'm gone.

Both my boys know how to clean, cook and do laundry. My oldest likes to make up his own recipes and gourmet style cooking. I'm an everyday cook and the youngest takes after me. He asked if I would make sure we had the ingredients for tater tot casserole! It's his favorite meal to make. He will make that while I'm gone.

On cleaning - DH will help when I ask him. He's still working and I'm retired. So I don't ask very often. Plus he does the yardwork.

jjkaiser
April 23rd, 2017, 02:19 PM
Sorting laundry? Who still does that??? I wash everything together. Except men's white dress shirts get their own load.

Iris Girl
April 23rd, 2017, 02:21 PM
sweat clothes get there own load and towels get there own.

sewbizzy
April 23rd, 2017, 02:25 PM
My hubby helps with everything now that he is retired! He has always done the outside work...
He runs the sweeper, cooks some, and will help with anything that needs done...in the early years of our marriage, he worked in a steel mill and then would support our kids with any sports, etc that they were involved in...he also coached midget football for 15 years...so most of the chores at home were done by me...
he has been one of the greatest Dads and Grandpas that I have ever known...
we spend a lot of time going to cheer on our 10 grandchildren in whatever they are involved in including football, baseball, basketball, wrestling, cheering and chorus and plays at school...
I have been very fortunate to have him for almost 54 years!

Midge
April 23rd, 2017, 02:40 PM
Not just the sitting around doing as he pleased while I did all the work and I mean all at home that made my husband an ex. It was the disrespect and, eventually, throwing the economic disparity in my face that was the Special Sauce. Eventually I realized the economic analysis was correct- he was way too expensive for me. In many ways.

Hulamoon
April 23rd, 2017, 03:01 PM
Not just the sitting around doing as he pleased while I did all the work and I mean all at home that made my husband an ex. It was the disrespect and, eventually, throwing the economic disparity in my face that was the Special Sauce. Eventually I realized the economic analysis was correct- he was way too expensive for me. In many ways.
When mine opened my mail ( I think is by accident) and saw my savings account he said I've never saved that much. He went on to say that he wanted to retire soon. He moved out to the back eight years ago and expects me to fund his retirement. :icon_heh:

Midge
April 23rd, 2017, 03:05 PM
When mine opened my mail ( I think is by accident) and saw my savings account he said I've never saved that much. He went on to say that he wanted to retire soon. He moved out to the back eight years ago and expects me to fund his retirement. :icon_heh:

A royal pain. Mine is very well off and I'm not. But I'm much, much happier now.

MaryUK
April 23rd, 2017, 03:11 PM
In the early years of our marriage DH worked away a lot so I did everything but he would help out at the weekend. He has always done the heavy working the garden and the painting and decorating. About 12 years ago I went back to college part time and he jumped in to help more. Since then he cleans, vacuums and cooks, he still does the right and cleans the car etc. When he retired, as I am still working full time he took over all the housework except the ironing and grocery shopping. He will do the washing but I have to sort otherwise there will be reds in with the white wash!!

I am very lucky but his father taught him to help out when he was a boy. My father did nothing, my mum would even stir his tea - he didn't know how many spoons of sugar he took!!! Thankfully my brothers didn't turn out the same and are very helpful around the house.

Vonnie
April 23rd, 2017, 03:17 PM
When mine opened my mail ( I think is by accident) and saw my savings account he said I've never saved that much. He went on to say that he wanted to retire soon. He moved out to the back eight years ago and expects me to fund his retirement. :icon_heh:

I know it might be a pain, but can you get a post office box for your important stuff to go to? Also, do you have a will made up. Since you are still married, he would probably get everything, but most important, he might be in the position to make medical decisions for you. Just something for you to think about.

Hulamoon
April 23rd, 2017, 03:41 PM
I know it might be a pain, but can you get a post office box for your important stuff to go to? Also, do you have a will made up. Since you are still married, he would probably get everything, but most important, he might be in the position to make medical decisions for you. Just something for you to think about.

I did make one and put all accounts and my house in Calif in both my dd's names. I made my oldest in charge of my medical needs. I want to let someone else take a look at it, I wasn't sure I was doing it right at the time. I went to a seminar and then to his office and I got a little confused by him. lol

mommadeb
April 23rd, 2017, 04:17 PM
Mine helps all around and I so appreciate it.

seaturtle
April 23rd, 2017, 04:24 PM
When we first married, we both worked full-time so most of the housework was split and it's never changed since then. I cook during the week and he cooks on the weekends. I do most of the cleaning and he does the laundry and grocery shopping. Well, he has a seek-and-destroy mentality with the groceries. He loves thinking he's getting a deal, so he buys whatever he has a coupon for. I'd be embarrassed to tell you how many boxes of frozen waffles are in the freezer! I go once a week to buy the stuff to make dinners. DH and youngest son do most of the outside work, also. I help with the gardening and do all the canning. Early in the marriage, he made the horrible mistake of buying me a carpet steam cleaner for an anniversary gift. I had a melt-down about it and he's been cleaning the carpets for 30+ years! I got my moneys worth out of that one!

He isn't very mechanically inclined and so he's not allowed to use tools or climb a ladder. One summer, he had so many mishaps with repairs that after the 5th or 6th trip to the ER, the DR told him, 'Mr. T, I think the house is winning'. So I do most of the repairs and painting. What I can't do I call for a repairman. I guess I got a keeper.

Judy, USMC
April 23rd, 2017, 05:02 PM
When I was growing up my stay-at-home mom taught me how to do everything. I mowed the lawn and washed the car plus learned how to be a good cook, laundress and housekeeper. She even taught me how to properly iron handkerchiefs. I had to learn these things if I ever wanted to "Get a Man." How times have changed!

Steve has some health limitations so now pays for someone to do the yard work. He does 75% of the grocery shopping and takes care of lunch while I do dinner. He's only allowed to launder towels, sheets and his underwear because rather than washing and drying he boils and bakes. He does keep the area around his recliner clean but not much on scheduled housecleaning. He will spot clean the sinks or run the vac if something doesn't look right to him ... or if I ask.

He was alone for 1 1/2 years while I was taking care of/living with my mom in another state and kept the house up. So glad I married a military man who learned to take care of himself. His mom was also stay-at-home and also taught her girls to be the total workforce in the house.

Rock
April 23rd, 2017, 06:39 PM
Another fortunate gal here. I am employed full+ time in management at a national chain grocery store. My VERY dear husband does everything but cook. He is semi-retired, pt employed, and always finds time and energy to take care of cleaning, laundry, yard work, home maintenance, grocery shopping, finances, auto maintenance, keeping up with national events, and some general tom-foolery. Somehow, he also finds time to assist most folks in our neighborhood and beyond. Hyper? Maybe. Helpful? YES!

bubba
April 23rd, 2017, 06:45 PM
Growing up, all my dad did was the yard work and handyman jobs around the house, to include, roofing, painting, etc. That was also his profession. Our yard was always the nicest and you would be hard pressed to find a weed in the lawn or the gardens. He always had a large vegetable garden that he grew every summer. My mom did all things inside. There were five girls and the washing machine she had was one w/a wringer that you used with double sinks. Laundry day was always on Friday and she did not have a dryer. Clothes were hung outside when it was nice. If it wasn't, they where hung in the heater room in the basement. She did not have a regular machine and dryer till right before I left the house. It was because of that wringer machine that we were not allowed to help with the laundry because she thought we might get hurt. She also did all the cooking. I enjoyed grocery shopping with her and still love grocery shopping to this day. She also made all our clothes and there were a lot of hand me downs involved!

Me.....I grocery shop, load the dishwasher (he does the hand washing), do the majority of cooking, my own laundry (he does his). We argue about yard work because neither of us enjoys it. Most times he pays a neighborhood kid to mow the lawn.

Since his surgeries, all he does is lay around. He has helped to cook 2x. I have been doing all the laundry, dishes etc.... When I do the dishes, I load the dishwasher then wash the sharp knives and pans by hand and wipe down the counters and stove. It makes me crazy he never ever ever ever does that and he does not do the hand washing daily because as he says, there is not enough to bother with!! I think since he has been sick he has seen how much nicer it is to have them all done daily. Hopefully, he will change his ways. I'd be happy if he just wiped the counter down!

GuitarGramma
April 23rd, 2017, 07:39 PM
My hubby does ALL the yard work AND does the dishes every single night. He says it's only fair since I do the cooking ever single night. And when I'm fighting a tight deadline, he does dinner even if that's bringing home fast food. Other than that, our chores are pretty well split between inside and outside.

Here's the ironic thing. While we were dating in college, he told/warned me that he would not get married until he'd been out of his parents' home for awhile. Why? He knew that his mother did everything for him, and he didn't think it was fair for him to expect that of a wife.

Last week, we celebrated 38 years of happy married life. I've come to realize how wise he was. And is!

Note: I accidentally hit send too soon on the survey, so my answer was incomplete. I'm sorry that will throw off the results.

MSN
April 23rd, 2017, 08:31 PM
It was because of that wringer machine that we were not allowed to help with the laundry because she thought we might get hurt.

I also grew up with a wringer washer. In fact, my mother purchased a new wringer washer in 1973 (I couldn't believe that Maytag still manufactured them), and used it for several more decades. When I went off to college, I had to learn how to use an automatic washer. Mom had no problem with telling me to do the laundry, but failed to give me any safety training. One day, I got my long hair wrapped around the wringer. It wasn't pretty.

MaryD
April 23rd, 2017, 09:02 PM
My ex did nothing in the way of housekeeping. I think it was as a result of his having a mother who did nothing but housework and kept an immaculate home. He couldn't stand her.

While I was at home with the kids I was quite happy to do it all, but when I went back to work and I suggested he could help out, he wouldn't have a bar of it. When I got someone in to help with the dust bunnies he told me I was getting above my station.

The best thing he ever did for our marriage (apart from the kids) was shooting through!

Navy Wife
April 23rd, 2017, 11:03 PM
Mine has always helped, but I have to ask him to do it. Now that we are both getting older and not so strong and healthy, things are different. We hired someone to do the yard, though DH still gets out and trims bushes. He cleans the kitchen, but I end up having to wipe down counters. I do most of the cooking and laundry, but he can cook if I don't feel like it. He does some grocery shopping and I do some. He vacuums the rugs, and I do floors. I'm about to hire a cleaning lady so I can spend more time sewing! Both my boys are great in the house. They lived alone at various times in their lives and learned to do things by phone (as in, Mom how do you...?) They are great cooks! I told my DDIL that I wanted son #2 back, and she said no way! I've had this old man around for 61 years, and I wouldn't know how to act without him. He's very handy to fix things, though he's having more trouble getting up and down. I sometimes have to help or do it myself with his advice!

309Bella
April 24th, 2017, 12:43 AM
We reside on a farm that consists of almost two thousand acres and we custom feed hogs for someone else. My husband does this alone with the help of his father, one full time employee, and several part-time employees during during spring and fall. He is a very busy man. I quit my full time job once we had our son who is now 5.
With that said, I do all of the cleaning and yard work. He will till and plant the garden. If he is not in the field, he cooks and will do laundry. I prepare and deliver meals to the men when they are in the field during spring and fall. I maintain the house and his shop and do all of the grocery shopping. If he is in town, he will pick up groceries if we need them. He has learned quickly why our grocery bills are so high during field work time.
When our son was born, I maintained my career for a few months so he helped out with nighttime warnings. And even after I became a stay at home mom, he would continue to do this if he was not working late.
We do get in some spats over him allowing our son to scatter toys all over and not pick up. On an occasional girlfriend weekend getaway, I come home to a disaster. He is getting better though.

Judy, USMC
April 24th, 2017, 03:50 AM
Pardon this brief interlude ... BUT Steve was reading the thread title over my shoulder and said the answer was easy ... since I'm only married to him ...

The answer is ONE ! ! ! (Those of you who know him understand his rational thinking.)

Now back to the subject.

Lori63
April 24th, 2017, 11:03 AM
I know I'm lucky, my hubby is amazing. He's does the majority of the cooking and virtually all the yard work. I'd say shopping is about 50/50. I do the laundry, but that's only because he messes it up when he tries! We both grew up in pretty traditional households where the man didn't do any of the "women's" work, but he definitely doesn't think that way. I truly feel we are equal partners.

WendyI
April 24th, 2017, 12:18 PM
I'm single but voted on what my ex did. Everything but laundry.

auntiemern
April 24th, 2017, 04:41 PM
Mine does all of these. He does all of the laundry, because the washer and dryer are in the basement, and he won't let me go down the stairs. (I only do that if he is not here, lol) He does 95% of the cooking and most of the grocery shopping anymore. I have no clue at all how to even operate the riding mower, nor do I want to. He is great about doing dishes and helping keep the house picked up...real cleaning, I do that, because I have my own way that I want it done. I guess when I started having more health issues, he just kind of took over all of it. Not complaining either. There are times it actually scares the daylights out of me, that he will go before me, because I am so dependent on him for so many things, that I can no longer do. I seriously have one of the best men on the planet. He is a great husband, father, and the most amazing PaPa that my grands could have ever asked for. Yep....I am blessed.

Iris Girl
April 24th, 2017, 04:49 PM
I love reading everything everyone wrote. I didn't mean to make mine sound like a monster he does help but its always and argument to get him to that point. My hips, back and feet are not what they used to be and some things are just too hard for me alone. Right now he is outside vacuuming my car and washing the mats. I know this is a guilt thing with him for acting like an a$$ yesterday and his way of saying he is sorry. He is a great mechanic and keeps the vehicles in repair. Dishes are his on the weekends. He will not touch laundry not even put it away , but I can live with that. Grocery shopping he won't touche either and its just as well because when he does go with me the bill is twice as high. Mowing is my exercise but he rakes. I do flower beds but he will haul the wheelbarrow for me. Its not all bad, just hate the argument. Thankfully both kids still home are a huge help. One is our master griller and IT man, the other is my shopping /cooking /baker helper. And they do get on their fathers butt when he steps out of line. LOL

auntiemern
April 24th, 2017, 06:04 PM
Although he does the laundry, I almost always refold everything. There are other ways, but mine is the only right one, lol....just kidding, but I do prefer my way.

Preeti
April 24th, 2017, 06:10 PM
We each do our own laundry. He does ALL of the yard work and I do ALL of the cooking.
We sometimes go grocery shopping together. He will shop for groceries whenever required/requested. Sometimes I pick up what I need (especially if it is from the Indian store). I clean the kitchen and the sewing area on a regular basis. I also clean the bathrooms/toilets, but he does the vacuuming. I believe that we are pretty balanced in our chores. And if it is unbalanced, I am sure it is in my favor. I am a lucky gal :-) Touchwood!!!

Carol336
April 24th, 2017, 07:11 PM
When I was a stay at home Mom and DH was at work all day - I took care of everything in the house and he did the yard work. He has always liked to cook, but in the early years it was mostly the grilling that he did. Everything changed when he retired.....he started doing his own laundry, and since I was still working he did all the grocery shopping and cooking. Now that I'm retired too, we kind of split the jobs evenly. And for some reason he took over the vacuuming when we downsized to our condo 2 years ago - without being asked. And even though for the first 35 years of our marriage - I did the nightly cooking and the dishes...the rule now one cooks and the other cleans it up......his rule - but I like it!!!

SallyO'Sews
April 24th, 2017, 10:14 PM
I only have one husband, and he is great at getting the yardwork done (or delegating it to our college-age son who lives at home). I look at it as division of labor - he takes care of the outside, and I take care of the inside. Works for me, as I loathe working outside. He also works seven days a week at his job, so I'm just at our house more than he is.

We both work outside the home, and he also is terrific at unloading the dishwasher; he's more than willing to load it as well, but is aware that I'm a little obsessive about how stuff goes into it. The one thing he has never done is laundry, which is fine, since I'm pretty picky about my clothes, LOL!

Altairss
April 25th, 2017, 12:00 AM
We split the chores a fair bit but mix things up on the weekend he always cooks me breakfast on his days off. He helps on whatever I asks but generally does most of the handy work although I am often the hand him the tool gal and I knew how to use most of them too. I do the mowing and weed eating but that is by choice not sure why but I just took it over and he told a friend that he does not get to drive the lawn mower its mine lol . We seldom argue about things needing done if I need a break I ask and vice versa and if I am sick he always steps in. he knows not to touch my laundry but does his whenever it needs it If I had not gotten to it yet and will always fold for me as I hate it.

amartin24
April 25th, 2017, 11:12 AM
I'm very blessed with my husband. We both work full-time and it is Our house, kids - thus, both of our responsibilities. It's never Your job/my job gender-related. Instead, we realize that each of us are better at certain things so we divide that way. He does almost all of the yard work and I do most of the laundry and cooking. He's better at breakfasts so he will cook breakfast on weekends. We are fortunate to have a cleaning service every two weeks for cleaning. I've had two back surgeries so that kind of cleaning is tough. Up to when we got the cleaners years ago, my husband did the cleaning. Then we realized that it is worth it to pay someone to clean and not spend every weekend tied to the house and cleaning. He's always been great with our 3 girls too. I know that whenever I happen to go away for a long weekend or even a week, I don't have to tell him anything on what to do. He just jumps right in and gets it all done. He's definitely a keeper! Our 30-something niece was complaining a bit about her husband not helping at all with the household chores or hardly with their toddler son. And, they both work full-time! I told her she needs to have a serious talk with him as she will grow to really resent it/him. This day and age, especially with both working, archaic gender-related jobs are well, archaic and frankly, I think selfish!

QuiltingRN
April 25th, 2017, 02:44 PM
Hubs does all of the yard work though I help when I can. Now that he is retired he helps with laundry and grocery shopping. He does the vacuuming and cleaning the floors. He will also do the dishes sometimes. He does the grilling but I cook. He is a great help to me.

Caroline T.
April 25th, 2017, 02:54 PM
I haven't participated in this discussion until now, and don't think I want to, other than to say there is a flaw in the poll.

You need a button for "None of the above"

JCY
April 25th, 2017, 10:32 PM
Flaw in the poll. I agree. Many of us have husbands who used to be very helpful, but now for health reasons can no longer help us with any of those things.

amartin24
April 26th, 2017, 10:52 AM
Flaw in the poll. I agree. Many of us have husbands who used to be very helpful, but now for health reasons can no longer help us with any of those things.

Health reasons is completely understandable.

threadbndr
April 26th, 2017, 03:31 PM
I'm widowed, but I answered the poll with data from before. Walt was pretty good at helping until the last couple of years before his death when his health really started to disintegrate. Our biggest problem was that he worked second shift most of the years we were married, which left me to do all the 'afterschool, homework, supper, scouts/church/school activities'. I called it 'being a single parent while still being married!'

My son was working on call on second (and third) for the first couple of years after his kids were born and my DiL and I commiserated a LOT about that. I'm glad he's on a more traditional schedule now and only on call one week out of the month (and then only for emergencies, not 'on demand' now.)

Hulamoon
April 26th, 2017, 03:58 PM
I haven't participated in this discussion until now, and don't think I want to, other than to say there is a flaw in the poll.

You need a button for "None of the above"

I agree. There should be a button ' whose husband lives in a tent'.

lmanna
April 26th, 2017, 10:30 PM
I hit the jackpot with my husband - he helps with EVERYTHING....except for paying the bills. That's my job and I wouldn't have it any other way. I was raised to be a money saver and he was not.

We share yard work but he "owns" mowing the grass. The first time we had to mow our very own lawn at our very own first house I wanted to do it. To make a long story short - I received 3rd degree burns on the lawn mower muffler. It hurt like a son of a gun at the time but it has excused me from mowing the lawn in the 18 years since. Any time the grass is looking a little unkept - I just hint about potentially considering mowing the lawn myself and it is magically done....and practically instantaneously. Well worth the scars that I still have today :D

Cooking is one of his passions so he does 99.99% of the cooking. I make the weekly meal plan, we grocery shop together and he cooks.

He's also an appliance repair technician by trade and currently fixes washing machines and clothes dryers for a living so he is not afraid of those appliances ;-)

Nowadays we have a bi-weekly house cleaner but when we didn't I definitely got the better deal in splitting house cleaning - He cleaned the bathrooms and the kitchen, I cleaned everything else.

Juliet Taylor
April 30th, 2017, 05:16 AM
Can I still answer? :)

I'm very lucky my husband helps me with everything! He doesn't cook although he knows the basics so sometimes when I'm sick he does it for me or he calls for pizza or something else we love. Which is fine with me. I LOVE to cook so I don't mind.

But I guess I'm lucky. He was raised in a modern family. It's true we divided the chores based on personal preference but when one is not able to do it, the other does. We are a team.

redcaboose1717
April 30th, 2017, 07:46 PM
My DH Terry passed away 11-01-02.....and he was wonderful. Did laundry, helped me complete anything I didn't get done before I went to work....etc. The only thing he didn't like to do was dust...( big deal I could get around that). He even cut out sewing patterns too.
I remarried (a few years after Terry passed away)...and....new hubby ? Does ABSOLUTELY nothing.....the garbage can will sit there until I say something......The Dryer has been on the fritz for 3-4 weeks...( its to the point I am going to either have to purchase a dryer or go to the laundry mat. )
Last year I was really sick....in the hospital for months.....I came home to a filthy kitchen and well, you can guess what else. It's sad, but what can I do ?
( and sure...you can comment....maybe I will take you up on some suggestions ! ) LOL !

BTW...he thinks that mowing grass once a week is enough.....( enough of what I am still wondering ! ??? )

auntiemern
April 30th, 2017, 09:13 PM
To begin with, I would do ONLY my laundry, and dishes, and only cook for myself. There are also other things, I WOULD NOT do. That is just plain disrespectful on his part. Marriage is a partnership. It is also just pure laziness on his part. What makes him think you are supposed to do all of that alone? I would have gotten off of that train a LONG time ago.
My DH Terry passed away 11-01-02.....and he was wonderful. Did laundry, helped me complete anything I didn't get done before I went to work....etc. The only thing he didn't like to do was dust...( big deal I could get around that). He even cut out sewing patterns too.
I remarried (a few years after Terry passed away)...and....new hubby ? Does ABSOLUTELY nothing.....the garbage can will sit there until I say something......The Dryer has been on the fritz for 3-4 weeks...( its to the point I am going to either have to purchase a dryer or go to the laundry mat. )
Last year I was really sick....in the hospital for months.....I came home to a filthy kitchen and well, you can guess what else. It's sad, but what can I do ?
( and sure...you can comment....maybe I will take you up on some suggestions ! ) LOL !

BTW...he thinks that mowing grass once a week is enough.....( enough of what I am still wondering ! ??? )

Eliza
April 30th, 2017, 10:13 PM
I have been following this thread and finally decided to contribute.

First husband - married young, mother had done everything so he expected life to continue that way. Was I mean to laugh at my "replacement" when she complained about him? :icon_heh:

Second husband - eldest of a large family and was expected to help out with everything. Then, a widower for several years before we married, so thoroughly domesticated and a handyman. I couldn't have managed without his care after several ops, including a double knee replacement. Now, sadly, he has developed dementia and it is like being a single mother again. We do have a mower man, and a cleaner who does the floors and bathroom/toilet once a fortnight.

I have to remind myself every now and then that it is now my turn to look after him.

amartin24
May 1st, 2017, 11:10 AM
To begin with, I would do ONLY my laundry, and dishes, and only cook for myself. There are also other things, I WOULD NOT do. That is just plain disrespectful on his part. Marriage is a partnership. It is also just pure laziness on his part. What makes him think you are supposed to do all of that alone? I would have gotten off of that train a LONG time ago.

Love your comment auntiemern! Like my mother always said, you get what you allow and put up with!

sassygranny
May 2nd, 2017, 03:15 PM
My husband does MOST of the laundry. He also loads/unloads the dishwasher on an as-needed basis without my having to nag. I'm not a great housekeeper, so I'm not all that particular, really. If I have a big project, like seasonal cleaning, he is right beside me. He lives in and dirties the house. Why wouldn't he help? I've never understood....

Hulamoon
May 2nd, 2017, 03:30 PM
To begin with, I would do ONLY my laundry, and dishes, and only cook for myself. There are also other things, I WOULD NOT do. That is just plain disrespectful on his part. Marriage is a partnership. It is also just pure laziness on his part. What makes him think you are supposed to do all of that alone? I would have gotten off of that train a LONG time ago.

Love your comment too. That's how my journey started. I stopped doing his laundry. It was like one day I woke up and said forget this. lol

K. McEuen
May 2nd, 2017, 03:36 PM
Love your comment too. That's how my journey started. I stopped doing his laundry. It was like one day I woke up and said forget this. lol

Totally off subject, but very early in our marriage, I learned that. I ironed hubby's uniform (Air Force), took it to him and he said you didn't do it right. I looked at him, took it off the hanger, wadded it up, dropped it to the floor, stomped on it so it was good and wrinkled and told him that was the last uniform I would ever iron for him. And it was. It wasn't too long after that he said something about his laundry and he's been doing it ever since. :D

Iris Girl
May 2nd, 2017, 04:07 PM
I love all the responses this thread has gotten. I guess mine is not that bad. He will help with whatever if I ask. I just wish sometimes he would take the initiative. He does take care of garbage and cat boxes without being asked. If only he would not give me static when I say lets clean __fill in the blank_______ today. Then we would get done faster and have more free time. Cooking and laundry he will not touch. but it works out. Didn't want you all to think I had a horrible husband:D just wish he lip service didn't come with a lot of my requests.

SuzanneOrleansOntario
May 3rd, 2017, 10:22 AM
Iris Girl, I don't know, my first husband of 30 years did all the housework and we shared all the other indoor/outdoor duties. My current husband helps with most indoor duties and yard work. He also helps in the sewing room, as we enjoy quilting together.
I always believe that Household duties are not the responsibility of one person. We, all members of the family living in the house, have a role to upkeep and help each other, and this is taught starting at a young age. What fun is is if one person does all or most, is then exhausted leaving no time to enjoy each other. Good luck in enlisting his cooperation.