View Full Version : Confession

Anna Leigh
March 10th, 2017, 09:06 PM
Hi all!

I can not help for feeling like a jerk all week. All because I wrote things on here that I really should not have about the work place. And boy it has me in a panic in a big way. I keep waiting for someone who knows someone, who knows someone to spill the story, and then well...that is the end of me.

I know if anyone is reading this they would probably say, "It serves you right!"

In this day and age that is so true. The worst part about it all is that I can not take it back or make it disappear.

Why write it in the first place?

Because I had no one to talk to.

I know writing those things even before writing them was a NO no. I think that is what is eating at me the most. I knew better not to post and I did. Yes, I so feel the shame.

My story is just like the Devil Wears Prada movie. Except Andie didn't write publicly about her boss Miranda. If you have not seen the movie do. It is actually a heartfelt feel good type of movie. This past week I finally got to see the inner Miranda of my boss. The inner person underneath that prickly exterior. I now know what causes the mood swings and it does not stem from being manic. Yes, the boss is having personal issues beyond the workplace and they silently end up being the underlying antidote to a good work environment. So underneath that facade is a kind human being that over analyzes and over imagines the worst possible outcomes with their job. Sounds a bit familiar. The irony is that they see their boss as the Devil Wears Prada. Small world. That is when I took a moment to analyze the situation at hand because I do not want to be the victim of the story, and I am not looking to be the hero either. I just wanted to get to the bottom of why. Why is that the majority of the people in this company have these feelings? Why is it that between each hierarchy there is so much drama and antagonism happening with in? Once I started looking around I realized it was not just in my department that there were these issues. These issues are company wide. I say that because I now have to deal with others outside of my department, and I get the same bit my head off bad attitude. Grant it not everyone has this bad attitude there but the ones I deal with do. I have to say that I noticed that these bad egged attitudes stem from way back, and go as long as the Nile. In all it has nothing to do with me personally. I realized that there are some rivals between departments that are not going to change unless someone finally says uncle. Sadly I got to see a few great examples of these rivals this past week. I really wish that I hadn't witnessed them at all but since I did, I now have a better understanding of why. Personally I think it is a shame that this type of culture exist in a company. Instead of working against each other each department should be working together. And the same goes for inside each department.

As I have said before this is a good company. I am now seeing it more with my eyes open, and I wish some one from the top would step in and start changing the culture. Because it is a shame for a good company to lose good workers over a few bad attitudes and rivals. I know I could get fired writing all this too, and face the possibility of never having another company hire me either. Good lord help me!

Divine Daisy
March 10th, 2017, 09:37 PM
Ah Anna, we all speak out too soon and too much sometimes and in this day and age that also means posting on websites. The dif is there is no denying what is posted. Try not to worry. The chances are fairly slim I expect of things coming to light and if they do all you can do is to say sorry......bad day......no where to turn.

When I was young I was guilty of 'venting' without thinking and I taught myself to write it down........which gets it out in a similar way as posting does and then leaving it for 3 days. Then and only then if I still needed to say it, I would do so to the person concerned.

It sounds dull, sensible and horribly grown up but it does actually work. Oh my mouth has got me into so much trouble over the years! I know that awful feeling of something having been said or done and waiting for the world to fall around your ears. Having no support is often what causes it....... I also recognize that feeling. There is always the possibility of coming clean to your boss as you have found her human side but maybe not. Tough it out kid, don't torture yourself....what will be will be and it probably won't be the worst. Big hugs

March 10th, 2017, 10:01 PM
In my younger days I would open mouth and change feet (so to speak). When I started doing what miss daisy said, writing down and revisiting the thoughts later, I would often see things in a different light. And I highly suggest if you write and save the file to your computer, please oh please save and protect it with a password. Those words are not being written for anyone to read, and you do not need to explain or defend why you wrote what you wrote at the time. Lesson learned here on that one.

Carlie Wolf
March 10th, 2017, 10:12 PM
Sometimes we just have to blow off steam.

You might have more peace of mind if you change your real name on the forum to an anon like most of us do.

Jean Sewing Machine
March 11th, 2017, 12:11 AM
When I worked with a difficult boss, I wrote a diary based on my experiences. Instead of letting all my frustration consume my every waking thought, I wrote it down. It ended up being 52 typed pages long. It really helped me vent, and it helped me to see both the bad and the good in the person. I think we tend to only remember the bad interactions, but there are good or at least reasonable interactions in which maybe we personally are in the wrong. Writing it all down sure helped me to sleep better at night. And I did talk to a counselor, and it was good to have this in writing to share with her to help me through it all. See if that might help you. And just keep it private but in your possession as you process your thoughts. Ask for feedback at a later date. You will probably figure out answers to how to proceed with the boss. You are intuitive and smart. You will use this as a good learning experience.

March 11th, 2017, 12:30 AM
Jean is giving good advice. Instead of writing on an electronic device, get a journal we use to call them diaries! You will sort it out better if you put pen to paper. When we hire young or old we stress NO DRAMA make that your work place mantra. Put the drama in the journal. A year from now, read it. You'll see how you've grown and solved your problems

MHG Winnower
March 11th, 2017, 08:09 AM
Good morning. Everyone needs to "blast" from time-to-time and some often regret it. A very wise man once told me to give it the three-day rule before you respond or otherwise comment. It works (sometimes!!!!!)

If you are so very concerned about the comments, I am sure that if you contact the guru who monitors this particular site, they can delete your thread.

Found this instruction in "how to use this site" Only moderators and administrators have that ability, unless you delete within a few minutes of posting.

Moderators for this site are: jrchapman, shell.scraps

March 11th, 2017, 03:21 PM
If you want peace of mind, good idea to change your forum name, quickly. Then later on change it again. I would do that.
Don't worry about it, it's done and over with. I've been guilty of the same thing meaning no harm and not thinking of the consequences. Just change your name NOW. We're all on your side.