View Full Version : The tale of Seamus and the coffin

Divine Daisy
March 7th, 2017, 11:36 AM
From the archives.

Jean emailed me this week and said she missed my stories. Truthfully there have been no new stories in a while............that is until Friday.

Many of you know about Seamus, my Maine Coon who attends church every Sunday and brownies on a Wednesday. When the church bell begins to ring he trots off, he was banned for a while but managed to flirt his way back in.

On Friday, I was walking back from the village, the church bell was ringing and when I turned the corner I saw that a funeral was about to begin. the hearse was outside the church and the undertakers where loading the coffin onto the trolley. (no carrying of coffins these days apparently............health and safety) They were arranging the flowers on top of the coffin, the vicar was standing waiting to lead it into the church. Mourners were inside waiting. As I walked I saw the stripy vision that is Seamus trotting down the street, resplendent in his T Shirt (has a bad back). I knew what was going to happen, everything went into slow motion as I began to run. A long tormented 'noooooooooooooo' escaped from me but no one was listening. As if he had read the script in my head Seamus uttered a chirp, launched himself gracefully and landed on top of the coffin. That is where all grace ended. He hit the polished surface of the wood, skidded knocking all the flowers off the top, one undertaker dived to save them (failed), the vicar uttered the holy words 'oh bloody hell Seamus' and the second undertaker began to polish the coffin top with his sleeve to try to remove the skid marks.

I arrived too late to prevent the inevitable so I gathered up my cat and apologised over and over. The vicar was by now giggling, both undertakers were frantically rearranging flowers and the church bell continued to toll. I backed away..........still apologising. Seamus was nuzzling my neck delighted to be carried and the coffin finally made a dignified entrance into the church.

What can I say? My cat loves sitting on boxes..............things are never dull in Daisy World.

Star lover
March 7th, 2017, 11:42 AM
Oh thank you. Made my day! Seriously, you could write books, you're that good. Thank you sooo much for sharing. I needed a good laugh right now and your story filled the bill - perfectly.

March 7th, 2017, 11:42 AM
Oh the visual of this in my head - thank you.

March 7th, 2017, 11:50 AM
I could see the furry (pun intended) of activity in my mind as I read your tale of Seamus. What a hoot.

March 7th, 2017, 12:07 PM
LOL. I can totally see this happening in my mind's eye. I know another cat names Seamus who also has adventures - but he's all white.

You totally should write a book of essays/short stories about your big boy!

March 7th, 2017, 12:10 PM
What a great story.thanks. better than a novel I'm reading

March 7th, 2017, 12:22 PM
For those of us who have no history of your Seamus stories, please give us an update. I assume Seamus is your pet cat? This one was pretty funny.

March 7th, 2017, 12:23 PM
Oh Daisy how ironic that you share this story today. We lay my mother-in-law to rest today. There won't be any Seamus' there.

Divine Daisy
March 7th, 2017, 12:29 PM
Oh Daisy how ironic that you share this story today. We lay my mother-in-law to rest today. There won't be any Seamus' there.

Monique, I am so sorry about your Mother-in-law. A sad day. maybe though it is for the best that Seamus won't be there.... she might not have appreciated his 'imput'.

Big hugs to help you get through the day.

Divine Daisy
March 7th, 2017, 12:40 PM

Yes Seamus is our cat. He is a 34lb Main Coon and is an old man now. In his prime he was huge and soppy and sociable. Today he sags where he used to have muscle and squishes where he was hard but he remains soppy and sociable. We live in a small Yorkshire Village where he is know by all as Famous Seamus.

He spends a lot of time in the pub at the bottom of our road and his picture is on a 'regulars board'. He goes to church (3 doors down from our house) every Sunday. Jean says he does this to repent for the amount of time he spends in the pub. The Vicar says that he arrives with the bells and picks someone to sit next to on the pews. She says he has an uncanny knack of picking the person who most needs company. He attends funerals.......as mentioned above and weddings. He is in every Wedding photograph taken at the Church. Photo bombs every couple. He was expelled from one wedding when he followed the bride up the asle like a bridesmaid but then plonked himself on her train and proceeded to clean his bum! The grooms mother was NOT happy but the brides family know him well. The bride got the giggles when she tried to move forward and came to a sudden halt from the weight of a large tabby sitting (and washing) on her dress. So he had to go.

He was not put off though, he was waiting for the photographs when all was finished.

March 7th, 2017, 12:43 PM
The final goodby, how sweet.

March 7th, 2017, 01:15 PM
The final goodby, how sweet.

I was thinking the same thing. There is just something special sometimes about animals that really make you think. The dog that was standing by the grave of his owner for six years. I saw a story of a cat in a nursing home that went and slept with different people until they died. Some special sense.

I loved this story :)

March 7th, 2017, 06:05 PM
Oh that is so funny!! What a character who does his own thing!!

Sandy Navas
March 7th, 2017, 07:42 PM
Every small town should have a Seamus!!

March 7th, 2017, 08:17 PM
Divine Daisy ~ That is just too funny! It sounds like Seamus is the local celebrity. How about posting a pic of him here? I'd love to see him. Wow, 34 lb. is one big cat!

Divine Daisy
March 7th, 2017, 09:05 PM
Divine Daisy ~ That is just too funny! It sounds like Seamus is the local celebrity. How about posting a pic of him here? I'd love to see him. Wow, 34 lb. is one big cat!


Here you go

March 7th, 2017, 09:08 PM
A truly handsome lad, I'd say.

March 7th, 2017, 09:57 PM
A wonderful tale, of a sweet cat. I can see where these would make wonderful books, your writing does help picture the story as you tell it.

Star lover
March 7th, 2017, 10:14 PM
The Tales and Adventures of Deamus! We love it and the world could use more intrigue and the best entertainment around. You may not want to share with the world, but I'm so thankful you're sharing here. Your stories are wonderful and better (as someone said earlier) than anything I've read in a looooong time! I hope you continue sharing. Thank you.

March 7th, 2017, 10:36 PM
I love your cat story. Makes me smile. You have a way with words and you should write a book.

March 8th, 2017, 12:24 AM
What a great story & marvelous cat!

And your post about Seamus' bio makes me want to come live where you are! Sounds like a wonderful community!