View Full Version : ...decision made!

December 6th, 2016, 02:48 AM
As you, well most of you, know, MM and I found out this past summer that he has bladder cancer. He had three surgeries the first month and started chemo shortly thereafter. He has been handling chemo well, aside from the occasional headache, stomach aches a bit more often, a funky smell you would not believe, but no vomiting. Then there is me.

I am very prone to having reactions after he has chemo, to include all the side effects he should be having. He started his final round this morning and has only two more chemo treatments to go......the hives that are popping out tonight and the pukey feeling I'm having are in the final countdown.....woo hoo!

A few weeks back, we learned that he should have been also getting radiation treatments all this time, if he was not going the surgical route to remove his bladder. Well, he was scheduled for a biopsy of at least one lymph node that is enlarged, but we were told this past week that it was cancelled because the lymph node is too small and the results would not be conclusive as they would have trouble knowing for sure if they actually hit it. So today he finally made the decision that he will still start radiation after talking to the oncology radiologist this afternoon. That will start January 6 and last six weeks with treatments everyday except on weekends. From what we were told by the doctor, the side effects from this are much worse for him. And yes, I'm secretly hoping it does not bother me!

After that treatment, he will have regular checks every couple months and if there is any sign that the tumor has raised it's ugly head again, he will go directly in and have the surgery. We are hoping for the best.

Now, as you know, I've not been around the past week. One of our Tacoma police officers was shot and killed last week. It has hit me hard as I knew him. It also has brought back bad, bad memories of 2009 when we lost five officers in a matter of four weeks. One of them was a very, very good friend of mine. There has been a lot of tears, a lot of headaches, ten pounds lost and lots of crying. Needless to say, nothing productive sewingwise has been accomplished. Maybe that will happen next week as the service is on Friday. I think I'll watch in online.

Here's looking for brighter days ahead!

December 6th, 2016, 02:53 AM
Pat, I am glad a plan has been made for Monkey Man.

I am so very sorry for the loss of the officer. It was a horrible thing. I am even sadder to know that it brought up all of that grief for you again.

Hugs for you my friend.

December 6th, 2016, 03:11 AM
You all sure need a boatload of hugs. So here are mine. So sorry for the loss of your friend/police officer. It is sad we see so many being shot. It is just so wrong.

Good to hear you have a strong plan in place to tackle the cancer. Will continue my prayers.

Jean Sewing Machine
December 6th, 2016, 03:35 AM
Thanks for the update. So sorry to hear about the terrible news of the death of the Tacoma officer. I'll be thinking go you both as you start this new treatment protocol.

December 6th, 2016, 03:47 AM
Pat, I will be keeping you and your Monkey Man in my thoughts and prayers. So sad for the lost of another Police office. When will they stop this senseless killing..The offices are there to portect them

December 6th, 2016, 07:45 AM
I know that you have been through a lot and I hope that 2017 will be a better year for you. Sending cyber hugs as you and your family go through this journey together.

December 6th, 2016, 09:38 AM
Prayers continue for you and MM.
I am sorry for the loss of the officer. I can't begin to imagine the emotional pain that you are suffering.

Lots of hugs.

December 6th, 2016, 10:00 AM
Keeping all of you firmly in my prayers. You have had a tough road to travel. I pray 2017 brings healing and peace.

December 6th, 2016, 10:20 AM
I'm so sorry to hear of all the loss and suffering you are going through. Prayers for some brighter days for you as y'all continue through this journey.

December 6th, 2016, 10:21 AM
Pat - You and MM are in my prayers daily. I sincerely pray that things for you and your family improve in the New Year and all this stress, grief and pain are behind you. Hugs

December 6th, 2016, 11:42 AM
Pat, I'm so sorry for all you're going through lately. The police officer was a hard one for all. There was lots of talk on FB the night this happened because officers all over the area were flying to the incident. I was so saddened when details of what actually happened began to come out. Life is so precious. I couldn't shake the feeling that when he said goodbye to his family that day they surely expected to sit down for dinner that night.

Take good care of MM and yourself during this next trying phase of the journey. You are in all of our prayers. Hang in there.

December 6th, 2016, 11:49 AM
I have followed along on this journey you have had all year and my heart aches for you. My prayers are with you daily and , of course, I count my blessings for my own life. Try to focus on YOU for a little while. You can't be of help to MM if you are constantly drained. Feed yourself well, try to get out of the house some, move that black cloud out of your picture and replace it with that wonderful ray of sunshine that I hear in your writing that trys to peek thru every now and again. We all love you and want happiness above all else for you

Snip Snip
December 6th, 2016, 12:00 PM
Praying for a brighter new year for you and your MM. And also for the world. Hugs to you.

December 6th, 2016, 12:03 PM
Pat, I am so sorry to hear all the pain and heartache you are going through. You and MM are in my prayers everyday and will continue to be.

The loss of the police officer is such a tragic one. I too wonder where the madness will end and pray that it does soon.

Take care of yourself through all this and tell MM our prayers are with you both. I am so hopeful the radiation will work and that he won't need the surgery.

December 6th, 2016, 12:23 PM
You have been like my personal guardian angel helping me through my dh's cancer diagnosis and answering so very many questions for me. How I wish I could reciprocate and make your life easier! You are such a deeply caring person and carry the weight of others on your shoulders. I sincerely hope that the radiation treatments are less prone to side effects for both of you. I think you made the right decision about the surgery. And my sympathy goes out to you on the death of your colleague. Life sure isn't easy sometimes. Or fair!

Caroline T.
December 6th, 2016, 12:45 PM
Pat, you and MM continue to be in my prayers daily. Please know that even when we can't wrap you in our arms, you are always wrapped in our hearts.

I'm only minutes away if you need a helping hand, or a shoulder to lean on!

December 6th, 2016, 01:56 PM
There is so much sorrow and uncertainty in this life, but you have certainly had a major dose of it heaped upon you lately. I hope that with decisions now made about the treatment plan for MM the two of you can also make a plan for these holidays to give yourselves a respite and some joy together. You both need that break and happy time! Also so sorry to hear of your friend's death, and the way it has brought all that past trauma to the surface. Do what you can, and if watching the funeral online is what you can manage, do that with a clear conscience. You can always send a letter of condolence to his widow and kids and share some memories of his personality and life. A well thought out letter might be therapeutic for you, and I'm certain it would be appreciated by his family.

Sandy Navas
December 6th, 2016, 09:38 PM

From Me to You and Roger, too!!

December 6th, 2016, 09:53 PM
I think about you guys all the time and this painful journey. On your last thought...

Maybe that will happen next week as the service is on Friday. I think I'll watch in online.

I had a friend I worked with in person and then when he went onto another job. He died in a flood going back to save his cats. I was so upset I didn't go to his funeral. I was crying too much and knew I would break down. So I know what your feeling about it.

December 6th, 2016, 11:17 PM
Pat, so sorry to hear the news abt your hubby. Being an oncology nurse I completely understand the fight that he is fighting...and you too it sounds like. I guess if men can experience morning sickness when their wives are pregnant, then I guess you experiencing the chemo side effects isn't so far fetched. It sounds as if the chemo is doing its job if the lymph node they were concerned about is now too small to biopsy...radiation does have it's own set of side effects...radiation burns are among the top SE. I hope that all is better for him and you and that 2017 will only bring good things. Continued prayers. Mimi Pat

December 7th, 2016, 12:45 PM
Prayers that the plan for MM's treatment goes well, and ends this nightmare you all have been through. It certainly was so very sad about your Tacoma officer. I fear daily for what our officers have to face. Prayers for a better year ahead.