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Carolnnc
September 7th, 2016, 03:23 PM
So you hear all the time that people who live longer and are happier and more positive have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity. I retired (forced) a little over a year now. I have no desire to do any of those things. I am very happy cleaning, cooking, gardening, listening to music, reading and quilting. I'm a happy and positive person and I do like people. My DH and I enjoy being together when he's not at work.
I wonder if it's because I was a quiet, introspective kid and am going back to my "normal" self or if I am so burnt out due to working customer service for to many years. Or could it be both?
Do you take stock in any of the many "findings" that you read in magazines, the newspaper or online?
Would it bother you to think you wouldn't live a long, happy life if you considered yourself a hermit?

Carlie Wolf
September 7th, 2016, 03:37 PM
I never took much stock in what I read in magazines or newspapers or online. I take even less stock as the days go on. I'm very happy being alone which is far different than being lonely. I always thought my ideal vacation would be staying home alone with a good book (and of course a good dog) :-)

quiltingaway
September 7th, 2016, 03:39 PM
Interesting thoughts. I always wonder about that when I read about family and a close support system. I am a home body and am pretty quiet by nature. I enjoy doing things at home. I can happily go home from work Fri night and not go into town again until Mon morning. Having said all that I do think some of those things are very important and have affected my health. We relocated a few years ago to somewhere far away from family and close friends and I can say that loss has affected me even though I am quiet and rather solitary by nature.

shirleyknot
September 7th, 2016, 04:01 PM
Actually, no matter how long I might live, I'm quite happy being mostly a hermit. Always have been.

CraftyJnet
September 7th, 2016, 04:27 PM
I am a home body but since I became disabled I find I do miss being around people a little bit. Not enough to actually leave my home of course. ;)

I used to be a voracious reader but I can't read more than a little bit on the computer now. Quilting is keeping me from being bored so I am grateful for that.

pcbatiks
September 7th, 2016, 04:36 PM
So you hear all the time that people who live longer and are happier and more positive have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity. I retired (forced) a little over a year now. I have no desire to do any of those things. I am very happy cleaning, cooking, gardening, listening to music, reading and quilting. I'm a happy and positive person and I do like people. My DH and I enjoy being together when he's not at work.
I wonder if it's because I was a quiet, introspective kid and am going back to my "normal" self or if I am so burnt out due to working customer service for to many years. Or could it be both?
Do you take stock in any of the many "findings" that you read in magazines, the newspaper or online?
Would it bother you to think you wouldn't live a long, happy life if you considered yourself a hermit?

Carol, you probably enjoy quiet time at home because you are quiet by nature..........and of course dealing with customer service could make you crave quiet time. :D I wouldn't take much stock in those "findings" because a few years down the road we will be told those "findings" are different. You know......like eggs are bad for you.........now eggs are good for you........coffee was bad for you.......now coffee is good for you......so on and so on....... :D

You sound like a very happy & positive person and happy with your life too. I say.....good for you. :)

SuzyQue
September 7th, 2016, 04:56 PM
You sound a lot like me.....enjoy just being home, doing your own thing at your own pace. Sounds like you are positive and happy. I think we all have seasons in our lives and a quiet time is not at all bad. I was so tired of running my kids and being busy according to their schedules, so it is nice to have so much me time now. A enjoy the newer, slower pace. Sometimes it is too quiet or I get a little lonely, then I reorganize my days and weeks, and include more time with others. I don't think it wrong to not agree with every little news flash ......they do change their opinions often 180 degrees. Happy means different things to different people.....even at different times of our lives. If you are not breaking any laws or hurting anyone else....and you are happy....go for it and leave the opinions that blow in the wind to do just that.

just4me
September 7th, 2016, 05:19 PM
I am an introvert HSP......I never choose to be with others and avoid it with pleasure.

WendyI
September 7th, 2016, 06:20 PM
Well having just gone through a very painful divorce I can tell you that all the therapists I have had, have indicated that studies do show that having people in your life and social interactions definitely promotes healthy mental well being. My ex was my life and now that he is gone I have very few people in it. I am a home body also, and do enjoy my alone time with a good book etc., but I do find that I am very lonely.

All the friends I made after he left were through a divorce support group and all are coupled now except for me. I do make an effort to stay in touch but find that it is not often reciprocated...it's hard not to get down over that. It does take a lot of work to create and maintain that social interaction and if you have a spouse to share in the load (finances, housekeeping chores, vacations) it definitely alleviates that loneliness.

So having had it both ways, I do believe that being social is extremely important to happiness, but certainly dependent upon one's personality as to how much one needs.

GuitarGramma
September 7th, 2016, 06:49 PM
@WendyI: Please don't take what I'm about to say as a contradiction to what you've just stated. Your last sentence pretty much says what I'm going to say. And I hope you know that my heart still breaks for what you've just gone through.


I am an introvert HSP
@just4m3: Me too!

In fact, I've often wondered whether or not a majority of people on this forum might be introverts. We tend to be happy sewing in a corner by ourselves. One definition of "introverts" is that we are the folks who recharge by being alone; "extroverts" recharge by being with other people.

@Carolnnc: To get back to your original question: perhaps extroverts live longer and are happier when they have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity; perhaps introverts don't need that. I find that magazines treat every subject with Pledge: they only brush the surface.

Let's face it: all that most of us need is fabric!

shirleyknot
September 7th, 2016, 07:05 PM
@WendyI: Please don't take what I'm about to say as a contradiction to what you've just stated. Your last sentence pretty much says what I'm going to say. And I hope you know that my heart still breaks for what you've just gone through.


@just4m3: Me too!

In fact, I've often wondered whether or not a majority of people on this forum might be introverts. We tend to be happy sewing in a corner by ourselves. One definition of "introverts" is that we are the folks who recharge by being alone; "extroverts" recharge by being with other people.

@Carolnnc: To get back to your original question: perhaps extroverts live longer and are happier when they have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity; perhaps introverts don't need that. I find that magazines treat every subject with Pledge: they only brush the surface.

Let's face it: all that most of us need is fabric!

And my dog and my horse.

GuitarGramma
September 7th, 2016, 07:07 PM
Shirley, I didn't know you have a horse! You need to tell us more about him/her!

Cokie
September 7th, 2016, 07:33 PM
I love being at home, taking care of my house and family, and doing the "homey" things I enjoy - baking, sewing, crafty things, reading. I think articles like that don't take into consideration that not all of us have loving, supportive families. Some of us come from difficult extended family situations that cause more stress and heartache than they provide support and strength. I live across the country from my family and I think that's probably a good thing. We get along for short periods of time when I visit, but if we were together more, I think it would be harder. My husband's family is just toxic and we have minimal contact with them, and it's for the best. As far as friends, I've had some wonderful close friends through the years, but they come and go with the seasons - like how your friends change when you're in college, then when your kids are young, etc. - you find people you have things in common with, but when those things are no longer there, you go your separate ways, however unintentional. At my last job, most of my friends were there too. But when I was downsized, we didn't stay in touch, and that made me sad. I needed my friends, and I think the situation made them uncomfortable. So, I am learning to appreciate the people in my life for what we can share with each other, but I'm learning that being alone isn't the worst thing that can happen. I can enjoy my life without having to depend on other people to make me happy. At the end of the day, my happiness is mostly up to me.

MRoy
September 7th, 2016, 07:42 PM
I'm an extrovert who sometimes just gets tired of people. I guess I prefer them "in small doses". I enjoy being alone and quiet too...it helps recharge my batteries. Maybe I'm an introverted extrovert. LOL!

SewnByBee
September 7th, 2016, 08:15 PM
😯 DI'd you say FABRIC ....yeS and thread and scissors, needles, matt's, cutter's......ect.....machines. ....on going list....
& more fabric.....too.

I am disabled....<br>
(visually impaired ) ....the only reason I am by myself.....but ....truthfully,
I like my sew time, better than, I like , getting ready to go out....lol.
I prefer not to be alone , <br>
but do not like to waste time. There are no local Bee's here,
Sew, I sew on my own, unless My sweet daughter comes over then we sew up a storm , together. Now with baby Reese, on board, a little less sewing, but that's ok, sure love spending time with the baby.

I would love to do some classes.... I THINK.....
I usually like most people, as long as they don't try , <br>
to do the,....cut - down,
"ugly stuff" like, I'm better than , or smarter than, YOU R THING...or just any ugly stuff,........cause...I don't like drama, I like peace and harmony, .....

Noticed this more &amp; more & more , SINCE, I turned over 40 + now .....:D
I don't play well with others, if they're mean ......l♡l.

I will take a class if , <br>
I find one near me, I would love the ability to learn from others, first hand. I am a visual learner, so I love the tutorials too, But sometimes you want to ask a question or see more......you know.
And share , the enjoyment, like we do here, if there is such a place.......
Like M*☺
żżżż.....!!!!!!
I get inspiration from books mags, YouTube, and moly here, on our Forum. Where the experience of these talented people really helps to pull projects together.
I thank you all ....so much.....for sharing. .....and helping .....
like you do....luv 😆

bakermom
September 7th, 2016, 08:17 PM
I tend to be a bit of a loner. We have friends that we enjoy spending time with but I am quite content with my own company, too. I think what matters is most is if you are content with your life/lifestyle.

just4me
September 7th, 2016, 08:29 PM
Google HSP , Elaine Aaron. Very interesting stuff. It helped me stop wondering and to start celebrating.

shirleyknot
September 7th, 2016, 08:46 PM
Shirley, I didn't know you have a horse! You need to tell us more about him/her!

Up until 3 years ago, when I got too sick, I had 24 of them. I bred and trained Arabian cutting horses since the early 70's. No big-time stuff, but did well enough to support the habit. Now I have my Main Man, a cutting and reining-trained 16 year old stallion, and still one mare. Sadly, I'm getting puny enough they will have to go too. They have to be cared for, and I won't be able to for a lot longer. I don't talk about them much, mostly because it hurts too much to have them go.

Hulamoon
September 7th, 2016, 08:50 PM
I moved here and made plenty of friends, but they kept moving back to the mainland. While that was happening my family passed away one by one. Then my separation from my husband. I hope my daughters realize what a jerk he is before I lose them too.

But you know what, that's not what is going to kill me early. It will be going swimming in shark infested waters. And I'm not doing that anytime soon.

grammaterry
September 7th, 2016, 09:00 PM
When I first met my mother in law she asked about who I was. I told her I didn't like being alone. She said, " Oh, I'm so sorry, you seem like such a nice person, maybe you should get to know yourself and spend some time with you. You might learn to like it" I took this to heart. I developed hobbies beyond my children and my husband....that's why I sew...that's why I read...that's why I don't watch tv...that's why I tried (stress on tried) to learn the fiddle...that's why I have cats and bird and garden and flowers and cooking...I got to know myself...and I really LIKE me now. I enjoy talking to my own children, my quilt forum,texting...but I am not so dependent upon dinner parties and going out and being part of an interactive group. So, maybe we all just have gotten to know ourselves and we LIKE us.

SewnByBee
September 7th, 2016, 09:32 PM
I love animals too, especially horses.... Ive been thinking about getting one to help me to build up phisicily..... but I'm still suffering the loss of our almost 17 yr. Old daschound. (Doxin ) ( winner hound) ......

Sherly , I understand you delima......
And I feel your pain....
Big Huggs.....

Fur babies fill us with love. ♡

shirleyknot
September 7th, 2016, 09:58 PM
maybe you should get to know yourself and spend some time with you. You might learn to like it

Precisely. After being married and divorced 3 times I learned that I don't NEED anyone around to validate my existence. I don't NEED anyone to entertain me. And quite frankly, I realized I PREFER to be alone with myself.

sewbizzy
September 7th, 2016, 10:39 PM
What an interesting thread....
I was an only child, so always thought that was why I needed alone time...
It seems there are a lot of us quilters with the same thoughts....I love my dh and my 4 children and 10 grandchildren very much....that being said, I do need alone time...sewing, reading,and watching tv are at the top of my to-do list...I don't have any need to socialize regularly (we did that for many years)...I have many friends that I talk to regularly...also, I do not like to shop much, except on line..
I have reached a point in my life that I don't need to please everyone and I am happier for it!

SewnByBee
September 7th, 2016, 10:47 PM
Alone time = me time
= Hand Piecing, Quilting, Sewing.....planning... learning =
sanity = therapy. ....Sew On and sew on....