View Full Version : to move or not to move!?? uhg

August 28th, 2016, 05:15 PM
So I just received an offer to rent the upper floors and garage of a house. This would also include the front and back yard (not fenced). Someone would rent the basement which is a one bedroom apartment. The house belongs to my very close friends boyfriend and they are planning on moving in together as soon as her extremely volatile and messy divorce is settled...hopefully this month...and then he will work on a bunch of renos on his place.

There are pros and cons to it and I am having a hard time deciding. The house was built in the 70's and is in bad need of upgrades in the bathrooms which he is going to do. It has a solarium which is full of junk right now so I couldn't really envision what it would be like but seems in good shape with no leaks or anything. He is also planning on putting on a nice new deck. It has a high pile brown carpet all through the upstairs which I strongly dislike but he is not really interested in replacing. The room that Liam would be using is larger than the one he has now, but my room would be substantially smaller than I have now and nowhere near as bright.

The rent is about 200/month cheaper and the utilities are much less as well for some reason that I can't understand. It has 2 smallish living rooms, neither of which would really fit my new leather sectional sofa that I just bought a few months ago. He has some nice furniture that he would be willing to leave because he won't need it, so I could use some of that which is nice. It needs painting pretty badly, but not sure if he would do that or not and I am just not physically able to.

He redid the kitchen which is very nice, but I like my current kitchen much better. Also, my new fridge would not fit in the space allocated for the fridge I don't think...I have to measure that still. His stove is better than mine so I would use that and let mine go or let him use it in the basement as an even trade. I have a brand new front load washer and dryer so he wouldn't need to replace the ones in the basement and can keep them for the tenant down there.

I'm really not sure what to do. I love my place because it is brand new and I'm mostly settled, but saving that much a month would be nice. Having my own yard would be really nice but then I have to mow it...do I want to start doing that?

I also despise moving...so there is that to consider...but then I would not be moving again until Liam is done University...and even then I might not ever have to move. It's closer to my work but further from Liam's school and his best friend, but I could bike to work easily from there I think....if I had a bike that is. lol

Going to take Liam to see it shortly as ultimately it will be his decision. He is the reason I moved where I did in the first place so he will be the reason I stay if he decides that's what he wants.

Big decision...and I am so unsure. Thanks for reading this far if you did! I just needed to get that all out I guess.

August 28th, 2016, 05:20 PM
I would wait to make the decision until all the upgrades and repairs are completely done. From what you shared it sounds like there are a lot more cons than pros to the move. A home built in the 70's could have any number of issues....

August 28th, 2016, 05:38 PM
I agree with Bubby. Sounds like more cons than pros. If you use some of the used furniture, where will you put all your nice, new furniture? You wouldn't want to sell that already. Plus, you hate moving. On top of having to mow, will you also have to take care of shoveling in the winter? The utilities might be cheaper, but is there AC for summer? Good heating throughout for the winter?

I would personally stay where you are. You have a very nice place now and are settled in. Remember how stressful it was to move?

I would wait to make the decision until all the upgrades and repairs are completely done. From what you shared it sounds like there are a lot more cons than pros to the move. A home built in the 70's could have any number of issues....

August 28th, 2016, 05:52 PM
I think you should stay too :)

August 28th, 2016, 06:08 PM
I am trying to read between the lines here and it sounds like you are finally and nicely settling into your new place there and it is feeling comfy and like home. I would NOT move if it was me. Your son might prefer a bigger room, but really how much time does he spend there? Your furniture fits or was bought for this place and it is what YOU picked out. Sounds to me that you like your current place but are trying to talk yourself out of it to save that $200. Just go with your gut instincts. Where will you be happier? $200 a month is not that much. Now if it was $2,000 ..!!! good luck and let us know what you decide.

And not to be negative here, but what if the couple breaks up in the midst of the remodel, where would that leave you, if things are unfinished and nobody was paid to complete it? (My dd fiance suddenly dumped her for someone else after being engaged 6 months AND buying a house together --against mom&dad's advice--so you know it's possible unexpected things can happen).

Iris Girl
August 28th, 2016, 06:11 PM
I also opt for you staying. For all of the reasons mentioned above.

August 28th, 2016, 07:00 PM
Ultimately it's your decision, but I have to agree with the others that it sounds more cons than pros. Also, I remember the pics you posted of your current place when you were moving and as I remember it is lovely - as in I wanted to move in! Take your time and sleep on it awhile - it's a big decision.

August 28th, 2016, 07:33 PM
I am with all the above, stay where you are. That's my 2 cents worth.

August 28th, 2016, 07:48 PM
If finances are really tight and that extra $200 a month can make you overlook all of the cons, then go for it. If you are making it ok financially in your current place, I would stay put. Sounds like a lot of cons and potential hassles with the new place and the only positive is the price difference per month.

Judy, USMC
August 28th, 2016, 07:55 PM
I'm taking a different point of view - and this is just how I would advise anyone in a similar situation.

No matter what she says it's his house. So now the what ifs ...
What if they break up and he wants to move back in?
What if they have a baby and want to sell the house to get a bigger place?
What if they decide to change jobs and move and sell the house for moving expenses?
What if they basement tenant is noisy ... or a druggie ... or decides that the yard belongs to him and has a party all weekend ... or has dogs that bark when they are alone ... or is a slob and you get ants (OK - maybe going too far with that one.)
What if the basement doesn't get rented and he needs to raise the rent to cover the mortgage?

The bottom line is you may be compromising and venturing into the unknown. And the utilities may be lower because he's always at her place and never really home. With 2 people living in the house the utility bills will rise and there may be no savings. Just be absolutely sure before you make a decision. Is giving up the security you now feel worth the risk? No matter what the decision I wish you well.

August 28th, 2016, 07:57 PM
Renting from friends can present its own set of problems..........

August 28th, 2016, 08:19 PM
I agree with the others, even before reading their posts. Sounds like
more cons than pros. Moving is expensive and emotionally/physically
draining.( it was for me). Good luck on whatever you choose.

August 28th, 2016, 09:34 PM
I had to make the decision to move or not this past July. I could save about 200-300 but all the cons just kept me where I was. Packing, moving ugh! Getting settled again, hate it. Add the stress of all that made me decide to stay where I was. A few extra dollars for happiness. And I agree, renting from someone you know can turn super ugly at anytime.

You like where you are and whar you have, so my vote it to hang in there.

August 28th, 2016, 09:42 PM
We rented from friends one time. It wasn't horrible, but things did come up that might not have if they weren't.

I was thinking of saving money in other places of your life. Like do you buy coffees or eat out a lot? Stuff like that.

August 28th, 2016, 10:05 PM
I would be very hesitant to move into a '70's house that needs all that work from your current place that is brand new & that you really like. It sure seems like there are more cons than pros. Lots to think about. Don't jump ship until you feel strongly it's the thing to do. I foresee a lot of negatives by moving. You might just want to stay put.

August 28th, 2016, 11:09 PM
Sounds to me like you really don't want to move.

August 28th, 2016, 11:21 PM
Perhaps bit of pressure from the friends? Seems more to their benefit than yours.

August 28th, 2016, 11:26 PM
Hi Wendy!

I agree with all the warnings here about what could go wrong. As you said, your friend is in the middle of a messy divorce. She may find out that this new fellow is not the dreamboat she thinks right now. I think it would be wise for you to stay out of business arrangements that have the potential to affect Liam negatively. You want to stay put until he finishes University, and that's a lot of years. He's been through a lot, and moving away from his new best friend would be super hard for him. It would be another upheaval in his life. You know how busy you are, so you know whether or not you can get those two together at the same frequency they hang out now. But it's pretty much axiomatic that when neighbor kids move away, the relationship changes.

I wish you all the best.

August 29th, 2016, 01:49 AM
First, I would not rent from friends. Second, I would not move till each and everything was done to the house. Third, I would not allow a child to make a decision like this.

August 29th, 2016, 11:08 AM
I would stay put for All the reasons everyone stated above. I remember the pics of your new place and it was gorgeous! New is a far cry from something built in the 70's! And, I also agree not to leave this decision to your son. He prob wouldn't want to move farther from his school and best friend but if you say you will save $200/month if you move, then he will be guilt-ridden.

August 29th, 2016, 12:11 PM
I wouldn't have Liam making the decision about moving. He's not an adult and shouldn't have the responsibility of making an adult decision like this would be. In my opinion, that's not fair to him.

I know from personal experience that any kind of business arrangement with family or friends is iffy at best and a disaster at worst. I'd stay put and cut corners somewhere else if necessary to make up for the difference in rents.

Grandma Nan
August 29th, 2016, 12:40 PM
Difficult position but as most others suggest I would stay put. It does sound like a potential disaster with the change and your friendships. It takes a long time after a move to realize any savings by the time you consider how much a move costs. It is another disruption for you when you and Liam are almost settled in- I would think long and hard about this. If you do decide to go for it- I would ensure that ALL and every reno be done before moving. Also consider the cost to you and your time to have to mow grass (will you have to buy a lawnmower) and snow removal. Also sharing a property with someone else can be great but it can also be a horrible experience. Just my 2 cents worth but wish you well in making your decision.

August 29th, 2016, 12:52 PM
I agree with wait.

I would be leary because 1. upgrades to possibly be done- no guarantee 2. he is not a spouse, he is not a sure thing no matter how sure it seems. She is going from a bad divorce into another relationship. What happens to you if they break up 6 months- 12 months down the road? Are you left homeless, rent hike, unfinished renovations?
Steer clear and tell them you just can't undertake a move at this time but wish them all the best. ;-)

Learner quilter
August 29th, 2016, 03:08 PM
Reading your post I don't think you want to move, you and Liam have settled into the place you are in, I would stay put. Good luck to you whatever you decide to do. xx

August 29th, 2016, 06:55 PM
I'm also in the stay put category.

August 30th, 2016, 05:40 PM
Thanks guys!! You are all totally awesome!! xoxoxoxo

I did a lot of thinking over the weekend and came to the conclusion that you are all very right. I haven't even hardly unpacked from my move last year! And I do like my little place. So, as much as I would like to garden and have my own space, I'm gonna stay put! Not enough reasons to move and $200 is not worth it.

Thanks to all of you! You keep me sane!! xoxox

August 30th, 2016, 06:28 PM
I'm glad to hear you are staying where you are. I think you made the right choice.

August 30th, 2016, 06:28 PM
Thanks guys!! You are all totally awesome!! xoxoxoxo

I did a lot of thinking over the weekend and came to the conclusion that you are all very right. I haven't even hardly unpacked from my move last year! And I do like my little place. So, as much as I would like to garden and have my own space, I'm gonna stay put! Not enough reasons to move and $200 is not worth it.

Thanks to all of you! You keep me sane!! xoxox

I am so glad to hear you decided to stay put. There were so many red flags and cons that I would be very afraid to do it, especially for $200 a month. The part about it being a friend's boyfriend would be enough for me to stay far away from it!

I think you are very smart in your decision to stay put!! I think you and Liam will both be much happier! I am so glad your life seems to be going so much smoother and you sound happier which is great!

Debbie MM
August 30th, 2016, 09:27 PM
I believe you made the best choice

August 31st, 2016, 09:58 PM
You know, Moving is expensive. You have to hire a truck, get help, change the utilities. (maybe make deposits) lose some ofyour security deposit and put down another one and all the things Judy said for what ifs. Moving is like an adventure, but I don't think you have any pro's to consider on this one. Your $200 savings per month will take nearly a year to kick in after all the expenses of the move.