View Full Version : breast cancer diagnosis.. and I am just going to throw myself into my quilting..

August 18th, 2016, 08:51 AM
had my first round of chemo the day before yesterday.. feeling pretty good so far.. I just want to have friends that are supportive. my husband has decided that this is something he is just not willing to deal with.. no help, no support at all.. I just don't understand how someone that I have spent the last 18 years of my life just up and leaves me like this. I'm disgusted and just wish he would hurry up and leave.. so heart broken and confused... I have learned that for the most part that I can and never again count on any man to do the right thing... I know there are husband's out there that wouldn't dream of doing something like this... but it is obvious that mine isn't one of them.
I just want to feel normal.. I just want to build friendships that will be supportive.. I think I have found the right community here...

August 18th, 2016, 08:56 AM
Praying for your recovery Linda :) Be sure to post pics of what you are working on, we'd love to see them!

August 18th, 2016, 09:03 AM
I am so sorry to hear this. We are here for you. I have a very good friend that went through the chemo about 5 yrs ago, and another about 10 yrs ago. They both live very full lives. Please know that you are in my prayers to have to deal with the treatments and then now with the person you thought would be there for you. Hang in there. You will find out how strong you really are. I never thought I'd get over my ex leaving me, but I have grown and blossomed a lot in these past 7 years.

August 18th, 2016, 09:05 AM
I'm so sorry you are going through this. We have a strong group here and we will pray for you and be here when you need to talk. (((HUGS)))

August 18th, 2016, 09:19 AM
Praying for you.

August 18th, 2016, 09:46 AM
A useless husband on top of that diagnosis is a hard shift to deal with. Once his sorry ass leaves, you can devote all your time and energy to your healing. My thoughts are with you.

Snip Snip
August 18th, 2016, 09:54 AM
Praying for you, sending a hug. I just think some men are not built to handle stuff like this. Linda, don't cut him out of your life just yet, if you still have feelings for him. You may have to be the bigger person here, and let him find his feet. If he leaves now, this will be hanging over the two of you long after the cancer is gone.
I know you will be fine. Quilting apparently is great therapy!

August 18th, 2016, 09:58 AM
We're here to support you and pray for you. Take care of YOU!

August 18th, 2016, 10:27 AM
I'm so saddened to read this. As someone who was devastated by my husbands leaving a year ago (after almost 18 years) I can only imagine what you are going through with a cancer diagnosis at the same time. Make sure you lean on the people in your life who ARE there for you, reach out to them and let them know how much you are hurting, both physically and emotionally. Find a support group as soon as possible, aside from this forum, for people who are sharing your experiences. It really does help. I won't say any of the things that people normally say when a spouse leaves because I know it doesn't change anything. Just take care of yourself and post often. Throwing yourself into quilting is a fantastic idea!

August 18th, 2016, 10:36 AM
You will get support here as there are many cancer survivors here, including me. (Private message sent)

August 18th, 2016, 11:14 AM
Little Miss Linda, Yes, you have found the right supportive community here so please post as often as you are able through this difficult time. We'll be with you through laughter and tears.

Navy Wife
August 18th, 2016, 11:16 AM
My prayers will be with you. I agree with all the advice you've been given. Find a local support group. Nothing helps more than someone to talk to face to face. Know that we are all thinking of you.

August 18th, 2016, 11:46 AM
Praying for a fast and complete recovery. Lots of understanding friends here.
Quilting can do wonders.

August 18th, 2016, 12:13 PM
It's hard to imagine how a spouse of eighteen years could just walk away. I guess he hasn't given a single thought to what it would be like for him when he develops health problems. What happened to "in sickness and in health?" You've been given some very good advice from others. You should follow that advice. I'm sorry you're in this position. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now.

Granny Judy
August 18th, 2016, 12:36 PM
It's a horrible path you've been given.. And I will support you all along the way.
Am going thru this with my youngest DD.. she is clear and past the chemo, surgery & Physical therapy. It's been a change of life for us all.

Don't give up on the Husband... He may just need the time to accept and come to terms with it all. How he handled other bad situations should give you an idea of how he is handling this.

August 18th, 2016, 12:43 PM
Sending you lots of love, warm wishes, hugs and healing thoughts.

August 18th, 2016, 01:13 PM
First as a BC survivor, I am sending my hugs to you ((())) and prayers for your well being, both physical and mental. Some men just are terrified of having a spouse with a serious illness. They are helpless in knowing what to do or say. I'm sure he is hurting for you but just does not know how to handle it. I'm so sorry, you don't need to be comforting someone else while you are going through this. So...my advice, Try Not to be angry, that will not help YOU. Throw yourself into quilting and take heed what the physicians tell you. You are strong, I can tell. If you need to "talk". PM me I'm here for you. God Bless.

Simply Quilting
August 18th, 2016, 01:22 PM
{{{{HUGS}}}} and prayers. Quilting can be amazing therapy.

August 18th, 2016, 01:26 PM
Try to stay positive; it'll help in the recovery. Sending love & {{Hugs}}

August 18th, 2016, 02:38 PM
I agree with what's been said here. I cannot imagine getting the news of breast cancer & husband leaving at the same time. I'll say this...cry about it when you feel the need...but you are stronger than you realize & will be stronger as you go thru this. Whenever you feel down, quilt or come here. This is one of the strongest most caring bunch of people on the planet. We will be here to support in whatever way we can.

Will be praying for you, Linda. Take care.


August 18th, 2016, 02:55 PM
Prayers for you and your situation. Quilting is great therapy and we are here for you! God puts us in situations sometimes so that we can then encourage others going through the same thing. Many on this forum have already been through the same as you (most stronger and healthier now for it)!

K. McEuen
August 18th, 2016, 03:08 PM
I wish you the best in your treatment and dealing with your diagnosis. Now, as for that husband - want us to smack him for you?

August 18th, 2016, 03:48 PM
Sending prayers your way...also for your husband to realize how much you need him now...

August 18th, 2016, 03:51 PM
I will be praying for you in this very difficult time. Sometimes in troubling times it seems like God is very far away, but be assured he is always with you and will give you the strength to get through it all.

August 18th, 2016, 05:10 PM
You have my thoughts and prayers. There's just nothing like immersing yourself into a quilting project to completely take your mind off the turmoil in one's life. I have a husband who get's irritated with me anytime I have a cold or flu or migraine. No serious health issues yet, but it does cross my mind. He is for the most part loving and supportive and I'll hope for the best. I have an estranged adult daughter that breaks my heart daily. Fourteen years now since she walked out on us. I routinely just have to shut the door and sew my heart out to bring my mind back to living and breathing and functioning everyday. They say we're never handed more than we can handle, I question that sometimes. This is a good group here on the forum, please lean on us whenever you feel the need. And through the whole process - create something beautiful!

August 18th, 2016, 10:32 PM
Hugs & Prayers for you. Have you considered marriage counseling? A support group for you would be great, too. There's a lot of love, prayers, & support on this Forum, too. I wish you well with the chemo process. Healing days are ahead. Try to think positive. Enjoy the quilting for your mental health. Hang in there. Wishing you the best.

August 18th, 2016, 10:46 PM
Thinking and praying for you. Stay strong .

August 18th, 2016, 11:02 PM
Oh geez, what a chicken of a husband he turned out to be. It amazes me how men can turn out so different than what we married.

Post here anytime - quilting, cancer, family - whatever. Someone here can relate. We all can sympathize and listen.

Wishing you the best, praying for strength for you. You can get through this.

August 19th, 2016, 01:49 AM
Linda I am sorry you are going through this now,we are here when you need us.I will pray for healing for you.((hugs))

August 19th, 2016, 10:38 AM
So so sorry to hear this. Lots of support here! I'm a 5-year breast cancer survivor - if you have any questions, ask away and feel free to PM me.

August 19th, 2016, 10:41 AM
Wishing you all the best with your treatment..........adding my prayers too.

August 19th, 2016, 01:02 PM
Prayers hugs and positive thoughts being sent your way. Great supportive group here