View Full Version : 3-2-1 Breathe... and thank you.

April 25th, 2016, 09:34 AM
2 years. 2 months. 2 weeks.
That is how long my FIL lived with us. Wow, was it really that long??
He is now safely in a nursing home in Portugal - It cannot be denied that God led us to this particular place. The director started the home when his own two grandmothers needed care. He then began to care for others, and now runs a 23 bed home, specializing in Dementia.
FIL was admitted this past Tuesday, and during the most recent conversation with the director, my husband was informed that my FIL has been socializing and eating... and hanging out in the kitchen chatting up the cook ;) He has not asked for any of us since the day he got there - I don't know what he remembers at this point... amazing.
I am relieved and blessed by the fact that the transition has been smooth. My husband arrived home on Saturday - in time for our 28th anniversary yesterday ;)

I would not have made it through without the countless prayers and hugs and encouragement boosts from my friends here. Without boring you with the details, suffice it to say that this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. period. Thank you. thank you. thank you. I love all of you - seriously.

I am looking around my house, so many things I want to do - but I'm not going to make myself crazy planning a million things at once. One thing at a time - breathe - still doesn't seem real - breathe - God is gracious and good.

Please know that I have taken notice of those of you who are going through similar things at this moment - I pray for you continually.

3-2-1 Breathe.

April 25th, 2016, 09:51 AM
I am glad to hear you found a great place for him, sounds like he is adjusting well. Enjoy the peace and time to reconnect with DH.

April 25th, 2016, 10:01 AM
It has been a long haul but I know your DH feels his dad is in the best place, so take it easy getting your life and home back together and remember to 3-2-1 and Breathe.

April 25th, 2016, 10:02 AM
That's awesome news!! I know from personal experience, caring for a sick parent is exhausting. I looked after my mother for many, many years before she was finally moved to a nursing home and I am completely burned out. Pretty sure I suffer mild PTSD from it because when the nursing home calls me my palms sweat and my heart races.

Just enjoy the peace for the next wee bit and fantasize about all the things you could do now that your home is back to your own. Then pick one and have fun with it. Congrats on getting your house back!

April 25th, 2016, 10:05 AM
So happy for you songbird. It sounds like your FIL is in a great place where he is happy too. Relax and enjoy your free time.

Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sharing your happy news with us.

cv quilter
April 25th, 2016, 10:44 AM
Songbird, what a blessing to have found a good home for your FIL! You and DH are wonderful and loving to have taken good care of him for two plus years. It's such happy news to know that your FIL is socializing and that he appears to be content where he is. God Bless you and DH and as you said, take your time, one step at a time in making changes in your home, and breathe. So glad DH made it home for your 28th Anniversary! Congratulations.

April 25th, 2016, 10:58 AM
That is indeed good news for both - your FIL and you. You are a good DIL.
Sending hugs and best wishes to you as you enjoy the peace.

April 25th, 2016, 11:11 AM
God really does take care of all of us. Portugul? The country? Is he from there? If he is socializing then he truly must have found a place he is comfortable and happy. My fil was also afflicted with this terrible disease. He knew is was coming and he made plans. He covered up for it for many years and we have many happy memories even of those years. Your joy will return and your song will again be heard. In the meantime, eat well and keep your husband eating well. As some of you know, I am a chef and food and nutrition have played a big part in my life. I know this disease has a tendency to be hereditary. Our brain lives on protein and fat and as we get older, we want less of both of those. Don't get in the trap...eat...eat...eat...protein, you need it.

April 25th, 2016, 01:38 PM
How wonderful this has now worked out. You were a wonderful son and daughter in law. God Bless you now and keep your FIL in His loving care. Breathe :icon_wave:

April 25th, 2016, 02:00 PM
A happy ending is always so nice to hear. I'm sure you feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders.

April 25th, 2016, 03:14 PM
Yes, 3-2-1 breathe for sure! And just keep reminding yourself to do one thing at a time. So glad you were able to find what sounds like a good place for your FIL. God bless. :icon_wave:

April 25th, 2016, 03:56 PM
I'm happy for you....this is tremendous weight lifted off your shoulders. Try to relax, breathe, exhale and just enjoy the peace. (((HUGS))) You did a wonderful thing for your FIL and your husband....be blessed.

April 25th, 2016, 04:33 PM
Congratulations to all of you! It sounds like this move was a miracle and Dad is happy in the new place. You couldn't have wished for a better outcome. Now you will wonder how you managed to deal with the stress of it all for so long, but you did!! Peace and joy.

April 25th, 2016, 04:52 PM
So happy for you, what a wonderful daughter in law. You will be blessed. Glad this worked out for you. Deep breaths enjoy relax

April 25th, 2016, 06:43 PM
So happy to see your post. You took SUCH great care of him for the time he was with you and now you've found a great next step for his care. I hope you enjoyed your anniversary; congratulations! Take time to decompress for a while - you've had a BIG change to your home and your days & nights. Relax and take that all in for a while - find your new "normal" then have fun with your home projects.

April 25th, 2016, 09:19 PM
How wonderful that you found such a wonderful place for him. You will surely be blessed for all that you have done for him. Enjoy your 'new' home. Relax, breath, and get used to being without him for a bit.

Sandy Navas
April 25th, 2016, 10:12 PM
Hugs of understanding, Norma! It must be difficult for your husband, but I'm certain he knows this is best for his Papa!

Ginny B
April 25th, 2016, 10:45 PM
So glad you found such a good place for your fil. And it sounds like he has adjusted well and is eating and socializing which I am sure brings a bit of peace of mind to the situation. It must be a great relief to know he is being cared for in a place where they truly understand his situation. It will take a while for you to get into a whole new routine. You have been so focused on caregiving for the past two years, now it's time to focus on taking a bit of care of yourselves. Remember 3-2-1 Breathe

April 25th, 2016, 11:29 PM
I'm so glad to hear that your FIL is in a goid, safe place, and that the transition is going well... I know it has bern hard for all of you.... God Bless...

April 26th, 2016, 02:08 AM
Happy Anniversary!
I'm glad you found a place for you fil that he feels comfortable at.The fact that he is eating is a good sign ,some people have negative responses to change but it sounds like he is taking to it without a problem.I will keep you in my prayers because I know how hard it is to worry and not be able to check in.

April 26th, 2016, 02:47 AM
I'm glad he has settled in and seems so happy! Did he get to take his little dog with him, or does he live with you now?

April 26th, 2016, 08:16 AM
I'm glad he has settled in and seems so happy! Did he get to take his little dog with him, or does he live with you now?
LOL - Ella stays with us :)
My husband does have cousins there who are willing to check in on him, and a lawyer cousin who has graciously been handling legal/financial aspects for the past 2 years, and will continue to do so. We really are blessed, as FIL was never really happy here in the U.S. - this placement is a Godsend! When my hubby's cousins looked at it, they were amazed at the quality. My hubby said that it is better than the large facilities he has visited here.

April 26th, 2016, 10:56 AM
What an awesome answer to prayer Songbird! It is difficult when our roles reverse and we are now the caretakers for our parents. What peace you and your family must have now knowing he is being so well cared for and is happy! Enjoy your new "normal", but take it in bits and pieces. God Bless you!

Jean Sewing Machine
April 26th, 2016, 11:23 AM
Your dedication and care for him really made me realize how much you sacrificed to give him care in your family home. There cones a time when it has to be turned over to others. You truly "laid your life down" for another human. Enjoy your time choosing what you want to do each day!