EX-WIFE

[LindaKay75]

This topic has nothing to do with quilting but I'll post it anyway. I'm sure some of you have faced this problem, it seems to be common these days. Question: How do you get rid of an x-wife, excluding murder, .

What a pest!!! I am definitely not a friend of hers. She just can't seem to understand that she is no longer part of the family. She just pops up at family weddings, funerals, hospital visits, and birthday bashes, uninvited and acts like she's still part of the family. She knows I don't like her so maybe she does it out of spite. I've been happily married for 25 years and I just wish she would go away and get a life. Very complicated situation and after 25 years I have had enough. Any solutions?

[K. McEuen]

Re: EX-WIFE

If she hasn't stopped in 25 years, she isn't going to. It is on your husband and his family to say something to her, not you.

[meliswan]

Re: EX-WIFE

Restraining order?

[auntiemern]

Re: EX-WIFE

My DH's ex has been know to do this as well. Doesn't bother me though because I intimidate her, not the other way around. Once she see's me, and I smile and engage her in convo...she disappears soon after that. But it is your hubby's place to say something to her, or doesn't it bother him and his family?

[Hulamoon]

Re: EX-WIFE

How long were they married? Seems like he can't let go either.

[Neller]

Re: EX-WIFE

Did she have children with your husband? If so, then for some things you are stuck with her. I know what you mean though, my brother's ex-wife wants to be included in our family doings and it bugs me. Last year, my brother (who hasn't remarried) wanted to invite her to Thanksgiving with the rest of the family at MY house and I put my foot down and said no. She didn't want to be married to him, so in my eyes, she didn't want to be part of the extended family either. I'm under no obligation to include her at my house.

[LindaKay75]

Re: EX-WIFE

If she hasn't stopped in 25 years, she isn't going to. It is on your husband and his family to say something to her, not you.

You're right, it should have been stopped before it got started, from day 1. On a couple occasions my husband has told her to get lost. As far as rest of the family, they have nothing to do with her at all and avoids her at any family gatherings. This is a strange woman that doesn't get the message.

[ilive2craft2]

Re: EX-WIFE

Are there kids involved? That always complicates things. Both of my brothers got divorced the same year. We have had their kids weddings, baby showers etc and have seen the exes at that type of thing and both came to the funerals of our parents. They were part of the family for 25 years and even though things are different, they are still an extended part of the family due to the kids.

We don't invite them to stuff for our kids and they don't show up uninvited, so as long as it is in relation to the kids that they are the moms of, I would be ok with it, unless she is causing problems during the visits. Life is short and family baggage is part of it.

[quiltsRfun]

Re: EX-WIFE

Does she get invitations to weddings? How does she find out about hospital stays? Sounds like she may fbe in touch with someone in the family. Is she friends with other family members?

[Judy, USMC]

Re: EX-WIFE

On a couple occasions my husband has told her to get lost. As far as rest of the family, they have nothing to do with her at all and avoids her at any family gatherings. This is a strange woman that doesn't get the message.

Some people don't get the hint ... and as long as no one tells her point blank ... she won't "get it" and will continue to appear. If the host/hostess won't kick her out/ask her to leave I'm sure she assumes no one has a problem with her being there ... after all it's been OK for the last 25 years.

If she shows up at your event you have every right to tell her to get lost.

[LindaKay75]

Re: EX-WIFE

How long were they married? Seems like he can't let go either.

Husband has told her to get lost. He let go of her day he left her. Reason for their divorce she cheated on him. She's just crazy. Rest of the family ignores her when she shows up. Guess they don't care to get too involved. I may have to divorce my husband to get rid of her, ha.

[LindaKay75]

Re: EX-WIFE

Are there kids involved? That always complicates things. Both of my brothers got divorced the same year. We have had their kids weddings, baby showers etc and have seen the exes at that type of thing and both came to the funerals of our parents. They were part of the family for 25 years and even though things are different, they are still an extended part of the family due to the kids.

We don't invite them to stuff for our kids and they don't show up uninvited, so as long as it is in relation to the kids that they are the moms of, I would be ok with it, unless she is causing problems during the visits. Life is short and family baggage is part of it.

There is one adopted son who is divorced and so happens his ex-wife is still friends with his mother. So that is how she finds out about happenings in the family. What a dysfunctional family huh, ha.

[Hulamoon]

Re: EX-WIFE

There is one adopted son who is divorced and so happens his ex-wife is still friends with his mother. So that is how she finds out about happenings in the family. What a dysfunctional family huh, ha.

Why in the heck is his still talking to his ex and telling family goings on? There's the problem right there it seems. Or is he telling the mother?

[Sandy Navas]

Re: EX-WIFE

See if you can find a gift package of all the "REBA" TV show recordings and send it to her anonymously.

[jjkaiser]

Re: EX-WIFE

Seems to me you and your dh have to approach her together and tell her flat out you are not invited, can I walk you to your car on whatever the occasion. Let her know she is not welcome, you owe her no explanation, case closed and there's nothing further to discuss. You have to allow her to attend weddings or funerals I suppose but if she shows up at a relative house she needs to be told she is crossing the line. Sounds like everyone tolerated her behavior this far by just ignoring the situation and "hoping" she will go away. You are way past tough love here. You need to be much more firm and outspoken.