View Full Version : I'm really sorry to always be on a downer when I post but l'm really hurting

November 20th, 2011, 11:13 AM
I'm really sorry to always be on a downer when I post but l'm really hurting. I have no idea how I did it or what is wrong but saturday morning I awoke with a sore right hip and this morning being Sunday aussie time I woke to a brand new day still in pain which seems to have migrated down further into my hip kinda in my groin and I cant walk. I just feel like the world is against me as I already have degenerative osteoarthtitis and need a full knee replacement at 45 but the drs claim l'm too young to have it done and l've had 2 opinions and both of them say the same thing. So my days are filled with pain as it is but l get around and have it managed with painkillers and I wear a big knee brace. But this new problem has me floored this evening I was watching tv with my husband and got up off the couch to go to the bathroom and I couldnt put any weight down on my right leg my husband asked what was wrong and I burst into tears saying "I cant move.. l'm stuck ".......I adore my husband he went to the local chemist and hired some elbow crutches for me.

I'm really frustrated there is so much I want to do with my life and I cant do it because for some reason the universe is saying "no" and making me stop and sit .....I look at across the room at my round dining table at the quilt 1/2 done that I was making for my neices 8th birthday which is in 7 days . Weve been married for 20yrs and spent 18 yrs on the ivf program because l've got other health problems which make having a baby naturally impossible. I got pregnant 11 yrs into the journey and the baby died at 8wks into the pregnancy we havent been pregnant since.

It just seems I cant get a break because of my arthritis I cant work so l'm stuck at home so I spend my days at home online sitting on the couch or when i can I 'm at the local YMCA pool trying to get some exercise in the hot water pool.

As I said earlier l'm really sorry to be a downer and always negative which in itself is really hard because l'm not that way l'm a vibrant bubbly jolly happy person ........normally not a negative person at all. I hope its ok that I posted this and thankyou for reading it.


November 20th, 2011, 11:35 AM
Dear Lisa, Thank you for sharing these painful feelings. It sounds like you have really had a rough go - and this last bout put you over the top. You are in my prayers and thoughts - sure wish that we lived closer but for now, I'm sending you big (and painless)
hugs - Linda

November 20th, 2011, 11:47 AM
Thoughts of you continue, Lisa. It has been tough for you. I don't know how the medical system works over in Australia, but it seems to me they could do something for you. Did you have an X-ray? Sometimes bones can do weird things especially when arthritis has taken over. You must be so uncomfortable! Wish we all could do something for you besides giving you a place to vent. We care about you, Girlfriend!

Take care, Lisa.

November 20th, 2011, 11:56 AM
Lisa, my heart goes out to you. What does your doctor say? I don't know anything about your condition, but has he talked to you about things that will help with your diet? You can come and rant and rave here any time. We are wrapping you up in a quilt of friendship and hugs! I wish we could do more for you and make all the bad stuff go away. Hugs. Megan

November 20th, 2011, 12:35 PM
Lisa, my heart hurts with you. I don't know your pain, but I do know what pain can do to us emotionally. All of us here are pulling for you and will be praying. Have you seen the doctor with this latest issue? Please get it checked out! It could be something entirely unrelated to your other health issues.

Can't hug you in person, but here is a big cyber hug for you (((((((((((LISA)))))))))))))

Keep us posted, please.

November 20th, 2011, 01:00 PM
Hang in there, Lisa. I am sure that you feel overwhelmed and at a complete loss. Just keep pushing through. If the hip is a new thing, definitely go see what is going on (that's my medical background). If the chronic pain is the main culprit, you are doing right...exercise whenever you can......push when you can. Staying immobile is a terrible thing. FOCUS on your gifts and exploit them. The infertility is a huge problem and as a nurse (in obstetrics no less), I can only imagine that it is a huge emotional pain. It is so frustrating to see folks who really shouldn't have babies spit them out and folks that would be incredible parents, in your situation. I really don't understand why the world works the way it does but I do believe that God has a huge plan for you! Don't give up and really try to look past the emotional and physical pain. Big hug to you and prayers headed your way! Glad you feel that you can share with us.....we all care.

November 20th, 2011, 01:02 PM
Lisa I am so sorry you are hurting.I wish I could help you.As the other lady's have said;you need to have this new problem checked out as it could be related to the arthritis or something totally different,it may just be a strain or something not so bad. Please take care of yourself. I know how you feel about losing a baby. I too lost one 10 weeks into my first pregnancy.I have always thought everything happens for a reason no matter what that reason may be. As hard as it is we have to take life one day at a time. You are in my prayers. Take care of yourself and never be sorry for venting your frustrations or pain. We all have to do it sometimes and this group of ladies and gents is just the place for it.You (we) have a wonderful family of folks here and I know each and every one of them are in your corner.You have a HUGE quilt of love surrounding you here on MSQC.You are in my prayers.

November 20th, 2011, 01:16 PM
Thinking of you Lisa. May God bless.

November 20th, 2011, 01:18 PM
I am so, so sorry that you are going through all of this. I am disabled myself, so I understand pain and the frustration that our bodily limitations put on us. I hope that you will go to the doctor to get your hip checked out, it sounds like something is really wrong. If you feel like you are depressed, PLEASE seek mental health help. There is nothing to be ashamed of...depression is real and can be very dangerous. I wish you the best and am praying for you hon.

Claire Hallman
November 20th, 2011, 02:21 PM
I was recently acquainted with a lady that went to India to have two knee replacements. I was amazed, she said it cost her less than having them done in the US since she had no insurance. She even took a friend and stayed for rehab. She booked this through a travel agency that only deals with medical trips. Who knew that existed? Losing pregnancies is so hard, been there done that three times, is adoption a possibility?
Take care of yourself, see the doctor, get some help so you can return to your normal bubbly state of mind and post anytime you feel the need for support, it is abundant on this forum.

K. McEuen
November 20th, 2011, 02:45 PM
The doctors tell you that you are too young because a knee replacement lasts maybe 20 years. It used to be less. I tend to think I'd argue with them and tell them that my quality of life with the constant pain of a bad knee sucked so much that I may not make it to 65 anyway. Argue with them. Each case is different and they aren't dealing with the pain that you have. They are going by what they learned in books. I'd much rather be pain free when I was younger and able to get around, even if there is a possibility I might be in a wheelchair or on crutches in 20 years. Your hip problems may be from the knee problem as well. I know with one bad knee your weight and balance is thrown off as you favor one side. My right knee gives me problems because I was on crutches so long when I broke my left leg years ago. I have a friend who had both knees replaced at the age of 54 and she is thrilled with her new knees. Most doctors would have told her she is too young, but one listened to her about the pain.

November 20th, 2011, 02:51 PM
Hi Lisa,

As a Fibro and RA patient, I know what it's like to live with chronic pain. Flare ups can really make one's mind think that there's no end in sight, eventhough intellectually we know that it too will end.

I never took more than an asprin before I developed Trauma Induced Fibro from two bad car accidents within two months. After six months, I was severely depressed, I couldn't do everything I was able to do. Needed only four hours of sleep, was Super Wife, Mom, Daughter, Granddaughter, Employee, Friend, etc. Type A x 10. You get it. I wasn't me and I was having dark thoughts!

You can get all the pain meds in the world but if you have depression and aren't treated for that you need to get help!!! There is nothing wrong with that. Please get that help, it will make a world of difference in how you feel as well as help you deal with the pain management on a daily basis.

I too have lost two babies, one before and one after my daughter Kat. It's very tough to deal with and that can't help with your emotional state of mind. Adoption or foster/adoption might be an option - I think that getting that depression under control would be the first thing in order to improve your life. Please, please talk to your doctor. There is a silverlining out there, you need to look for it.

Hope that you've been able to get a bit of relief today. Heat and cold packs and a big cyber hug (((Lisa))) from the Islands.

Prayers and healing light, Ruby

November 20th, 2011, 02:53 PM
Lisa, my Mom has chronic back and leg pain. They have started her on an epidural pain relief system. The doctors at the University of Washington are injecting steroids and anti-inflamatories right along the nerves in her back that are causing the pain. Similar to the way they give spinal blocks during c-sections. The treatments seem to be helping. Is this something your doctors have suggested? It keeps her from living on pain killers. She is going in about once every 4 months or so.

I am with you on the amazement & indignation. How can you need to have your joints replaced, and yet be too young for the surgery? I would think that as a physician, you would want your patient in the best condition possible, and not dealing with multiple years of muscle atrophy from being unable to get around properly. I have heard that there is a "life expectancy" on the replacement joints,and that may be why they say you are "too young". Most folks are not going to want to look at replacing those joints more than once. Who knows. I think it's a load of crap though. We have the technology, lets use it!

I do hope that this latest thing with your hip is easily remedied.
Hugs, Cathy

November 20th, 2011, 04:30 PM
I have had RA for over 20 years. I was on a 6 year course of Enbrel injections. At my Dec 2010 visit my rheumotologist told me she thought my RA was in remission. I went off Enbrel mid Jan when used last of prescription. Just had my 3 month appointment and she says I am doing so well she will see me in 6 months. I am religous with my Vitamin D3 (3000 daily) and calcium(both gelcaps), folic acid and Methotrexate. l Still am able to contribute to family, chuch and community. I am sure prayers of my friends helps also. Please read up on the importance of Vitamin D3 in all areas of our lives, especially in low sun areas of our countryl which brings out seasonal affective disorder.

Will pray for you to find a medical provider who will work for your wellness rather than some "broad" standard. My aunt 30 years ago got a new knee that lasted her 29 years when she died and she very active on it.


November 20th, 2011, 05:18 PM
Oh Lisa, I feel so badly for you. Have you seen the dorctor about this new hip pain? I wish there was more I could do for you. But all I can do is keep sending you prayers and cyber hugs (they are painless). {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LISA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Feel free to vent here anytime. That's what we can do.

November 20th, 2011, 07:49 PM
So sorry Lisa to hear what you are going through. You need to know that we all feel for you and I am sending my thoughts and prayers. I had a crippling problem with hips and legs a couple of months ago that brought me up with a sudden jolt so I know how desperate you must be feeling. Do have the new pain investigated, surely there's something that can be done.

November 20th, 2011, 07:52 PM
Lisa, I am so sorry that you are hurting. It's no wonder you feel like the universe is against you, with chronic pain already and now this new problem with your hip. I can only echo the urging of the other ladies and hope you see a doctor immediately about your hip. Hopefully it's something temporary that will yield to treatment and rest.

Come here any time to vent, we all need to do that from time to time, and all those prayers and positive energies and cyber hugs are heartfelt. {{{{{{{{{{LISA}}}}}}}}}}}

November 21st, 2011, 09:10 AM
Hi Everyone Thankyou all so much for all your comments....I really felt like I was complaining and whinging...and had reached the wall ..husband was in bed I was still up and in pain regardless of painkillers...and just needed to vent..I'm glad to know l'm not alone...This morning right on 9am I rang my osteopath and got an appointment because I really thought l'd done something to my sciatic nerve anyhow she figured out very quickly that it wasnt my back or my sciatic nerve. But she thinks l've torn a quad muscle so i've got an appointment to see my GP tomorrow and hopefully he will give me stronger pain killers and a referall to have an ultrasound done to see how big the tear is ... And this was all done in a water aerobics class which iwas doing to help my knee and now l've torn a quad muscle on the same leg sigh!!!

November 21st, 2011, 09:47 AM
If I were a kazillionaire this is what I would do:

1. I would fly you to my house.

2. I would fly everyone from the forum here.

3. We would have the biggest quilting bee, we would be in Guiness Book of Records.

4. I would fly you some place where you could have that knee surgery.

5. After all that, I would organize a shopping trip to MSQC for everyone and I would even pay.

6. Then you would need to all go home because I would be popped out.

A girl can dream can't she?????

Oh well, I hope Lisa this at least made you smile a little. I know what you are talking about. I also need a knee replacement but I AM TOO YOUNG at 51!! I am not in so much pain as you are though. Hang in there and vent on here as much as you like. We will be there to pick you up when you fall.

Hugs and kisses to you.

November 21st, 2011, 10:16 AM
I am so sorry you are in such pain physically and emotionally. Extreme physical pain really affects your emotional wellbeing. Please have your DH take you and have yur hip looked at. It could be something that can be taken care of immediately. My prayers are with you. Please let us know how you are doing....Barb

November 22nd, 2011, 05:52 AM
Praying for you Lisa. I know what it's like to live on pain pills. I have for the last 32 years. They did epidurals on me too. Now they can't get the needle in my spine because of scar tissue. They didn't work for me anyway. Hopefully, they can get this under control quickly. Hugs, Jan L.

November 22nd, 2011, 06:11 AM
Well, Lisa! I'd say you have a lot of caring and concerned friends here. Lots of heartfelt posts. Please let us know how things go after you have the ultrasound. We'll be thinking about and hoping you'll be feeling better soon. You might talk to your doctor about your depression. I also wonder about the knee surgery. They say it lasts 20 years only but who knows what science may come up with by then that could change the whole picture. They may be growing new knees for you from your own cells and another surgery won't be a problem! If not, is it not possible to have the surgery in another 20 years?

November 22nd, 2011, 06:50 AM
I'm just echoing what the others have said here. Take care of yourself, in whatever form that may come.
Do something that makes you happy, I like sewing, my mother on the other hand swears blind that watching movies with Johnny Depp in them is a fabulous cure all(I'm not sure dad realises why he sits through so many! :D)

November 22nd, 2011, 10:05 AM
Lisa I'm sorry for your pain, both physical and that in your heart. I'll continue to pray for your peace and physical health. As we celebrate Thanksgivig in the US we remember things to be thankful for - some years it can be challenging. This year I am thankful for friends I have made via the MQ Forum, I feel like I have coffee with friends every morning. I shall be praying for you friend.

November 24th, 2011, 09:35 AM
Oh my Lisa - I'm glad you called the doctor and you've got an appointment. Maybe now they will really listen to you about the amount of pain you are having. I'm sorry you are going through all this.


November 25th, 2011, 03:31 AM
Lisa, I met my boyfriend about 5 1/2 yrs ago. He walked with a limp and had trouble getting up off the floor (I didn't have a sofa so we had to sit on the floor.) The longer I knew him the worse his limp got. He's always worn knee braces because of horribly painful knee pain and he always took 6 Advil twice, sometimes 3 times a day. This past spring he got to the point where he wasn't "walking" anymore...he "shufftled." We went and saw a knee specialist. They took x-rays and was told there was just a little arthritis. The doctor asked him to walk for him. Then they took more x-rays, this time of this hips. As it turned out his left hip was nearly fused in place and the right hip wasn't far behind the left. The hip specialist usually took 3 months to get in to see...we saw him a week later. My boyfriend was scheduled for hip replacement surgery two weeks after that. At that time he hadn't yet turned 50.

This past Tuesday my boyfriend turned 50 yrs old. He's been through both surgeries and is back at work after being on disability for 4 months. We walk more than ever now! How our lives are changing.

There are times when you have to take control of your life because you are the one who has to live it. Tell the doctor that you can't wait any longer! If my boyfriend had waited much longer he would've ended up in a wheelchair. If you have to see another doctor, than that is what you need to do! Take charge of your life!

I myself have had 4 miscarriages. The last one was in 1992 and the baby had died at 7 wks. That was the last time I got pregnant. I couldn't go through that again. I never had any children and I'm okay with that. It took a long time to get to that point, but I am okay with being childless. I how have cats and I love them as if they were my biological children!

I'll keep you in my prayers. Be strong! You can survive this!

Love and hugs!

November 29th, 2011, 03:52 AM
ok up date !!! I got my results today and it seems l've got a full thickness tear through the anterior gluteus medius muscle and throchanteric bursitis....Sigh !!!! been given more anti inflams and gotta take it really easy. if not bette rin a mth he will send me to see a specialist which means an operation.

ooh and thankyou to everyone for your love and support please excuse me if I appear rude because I havent responded earlier I apologise didnt mean to be ...I'm really grateful to have you guys...thanks again

November 29th, 2011, 08:33 AM
Lisa, I'm thanking God you got to the doctor and he discovered something that can be remedied, either through natural healing or surgery. You continue to be in my prayers for complete wholeness. Do what the doctor says, take it real easy and let your tear heal.

December 2nd, 2011, 03:52 AM
Wow! At least now you know what's wrong! Praise the Lord for that!! Take it easy and remember that we're all here pulling for you!
Love and Hugs,

December 2nd, 2011, 06:19 AM
prayers for healing of mind, body and spirit, not neccesarrily in that order...hope you feel better....sending out big cyber hug...that doesn't hurt now does it?

December 2nd, 2011, 06:56 AM
I wonder how on earth you did all this damage to yourself? Hopefully, the doctors will fix you up with some meds to help you through the healing process. Is it something that requires surgery?

December 2nd, 2011, 10:55 AM
Thankyou everyone for your concern ...dr wants me to give it a couple more weeks before doing physio and his given me more meds...then if its still not right after a mth he will send me to see a specialist which will mean surgery..... Rebecca Ive got something thats called" Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome" meaning l've got killer antibodies its an immune system problem ...my body attacks itself so hence the "degenerative osteoarthritis" ...no idea what caused the tear to happen but I read somewhere online that having gait problems can cause pressure on toher areas and tears can be the result.Sigh!!!