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Hulamoon
January 21st, 2016, 12:06 AM
I had my dd's boyfriend living here an he has an uncashed check. A couple of years ago I told them to take it to the restaurant and get a re-issue. He is so*&^$# stubborn and she has become that too. I hope my grandkid isn't going to live in front of a game system for his childhood.

Anyway, I'm writing this letter and if you can improve on it I would love to get them $200 from 2011.

Aloha Kalaheo Cafe & Coffee management,

My name is Lorie Arii and my daughter is Rachel that works at your establishment as well as Anndrew Sugita whose check this is. It was left at my house when they were living here. Try as I may I couldn't get them to turn the check in.They thought it was too late. Well now they have a baby. Can you help get the money to them?

I appriciate any thing you can do for them.

Lorie Arii

songbird857
January 21st, 2016, 12:15 AM
I think the letter is fine Lorie, but.... since your daughter and her boyfriend are adults, and by what you wrote, are still working there (?), I think it's up to them to pursue it. :)

Hulamoon
January 21st, 2016, 12:32 AM
If it sounds okay then I'm sending it then. They are close there so if he get's upset so be it. He doesn't like me anyway.

KarenC
January 21st, 2016, 04:08 PM
Hi Lori, Was the check issued in Hawaii? I work in Payroll and every state has "escheat laws" where if the check isn't cashed, it needs to be turned over to the state as unclaimed property. Department of Budget and Finance | Unclaimed Property Program (http://budget.hawaii.gov/finance/unclaimedproperty) Here is the link for Hawaii. If it has been turned over to the state as unclaimed property, he will need to go to the state's website to get the funds, and complete a bit of paperwork. No offense, but if a letter such as you wrote with very good intentions came into the payroll dept. here, we would ignore it. As a payroll professional, we are not allowed to discuss anything about an employee with another individual, whether they are spouse, boyfriend, parent, etc. It upsets people, but we first must receive permission from the employee/former employee before we can discuss with another person.

Hulamoon
January 21st, 2016, 04:22 PM
Thanks for the info Karen. After sleeping on it I decided to throw it away. I already tried to tell him that he could get it re-issued and he didn't care. I was only thinking of my daughter and the baby and having the extra money for food etc. He won't follow through with paper work, he's too lazy. He drove around for years without a licence.

Thanks though:)

jjkaiser
January 21st, 2016, 04:46 PM
My ex son in law sounds just like yours.lazy as all get out, wouldn't do a thing if it required the least amount of effort or was just a teensy bit inconvenient. My daughter divorced him six months ago. I feel for you!!

rebeccas-sewing
January 21st, 2016, 04:52 PM
Nope. There comes a point where we moms need to let go. These two are adults. They should be handling their own problems. No more Mom to the rescue. I think one of the biggest mistakes I made was always coming to the girls' rescue as they were going through school. If I had it to do over I would've let them suffer the consequences of their actions more often. I think they would've matured at a faster rate. I did them no great service. The old saying, "We learn by our mistakes" and "we learn lessons the hard way" have been quotes we've all used at one time or another. I should've followed those quotes more often. I think my girls would've benefitted. Learning to let go is actually quite good for my health. I'm really happy to hear the choice you decided to make, Lori.

Hulamoon
January 21st, 2016, 06:51 PM
Thanks Rebecca. I guess I feel more protective because I was pretty much a single mom. As soon as the girls entered school, even from preschool I had them the whole time. Dh worked at night. I was the one talking to teachers, bus drivers and neighbors with bully kids. Now she picks this guy. ugh

KarenC
January 22nd, 2016, 03:30 AM
Good points Rebecca. How we all wish parenting came with a written instruction book. I could definitely do some things differently. My daughter is getting married in 6 weeks. Nice guy, personality wise, but motivation just isn't there. And of course they feed each other's pity party. I'm happy that she has found someone to make her happy, just wish I could believe it was a forever thing. Both of my children have chosen to go to the school of hard knocks, learning by mistakes. Uggh. Good luck Lori.