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View Full Version : The nerve of some people!



asta
December 23rd, 2015, 04:56 PM
My recent phone conversation:
"Hello"
"Beth, this is M.P. How have you been? I have not seen or talked to you in ages! "
This is a former co-teacher of mine from almost 15 years ago who I have not seen in for about 5 yrs or so.
"I'm fine, how are you and yours?'
"We are doing great, I just wanted to tell you how much I have admired your quilting. I saw the quilt you made for Dawn the other day and it is lovely."
Now I know there is something up.
"Why thank you M."
"I was wondering, if you would be willing to teach me to quilt."
"Sure, I enjoy passing along my knowledge, you know once a teacher, always a teacher."
"If I could make a quilt like Dawns to give to my GD for her second birthday coming up in Jan. I would be thrilled."
"I think I can help you make something similar."
"When do you think you could get out here? You do know I have retired and am living out by the lake now?"
"I guess you have not heard, I am visually impaired and can not drive, you would have to come into town and work here."
"Oh.....well, I will have to get back to you then, not sure when I could get an entire day open. Well, Merry Christmas to you and your family, I will be getting back to you."
"Merry Christmas to you also."
"Bye"

That was it. I just don't know what to think. That is pretty much the entire conversation I really have a feeling I will not hear from her again.

Midge
December 23rd, 2015, 04:59 PM
Beth, my takeaway from this conversation is that you are a kind and giving person, and I bet you were a great teacher. And it is probably for the best that you haven't heard from this woman (no lady for sure) for 5 years. Here's to another 5 years of silence. At least.

MRoy
December 23rd, 2015, 05:11 PM
I suspect the best thing for you is to not hear from her again about teaching her to quilt!

Hulamoon
December 23rd, 2015, 05:11 PM
I'll ditto what Midge said. When she didn't say anything about your sight or driving I was thinking that's not a true friend.

jjkaiser
December 23rd, 2015, 05:32 PM
Haha. Good one! Let's see if I got this straight--she wants you to come to her house, and teach her how to quilt, and she needs to finish this by next month?? Does she even sew at all? Oh and she probably needs you to bring your sewing machine along (and of course it wouldn't inconvenience you to leave it there for her to use until the quilt is finished)--oh and could you also bring over your rotary cutter and mat, some thread, material and batting while you're at it! Oh and pins, wonder clips, marking pens, stencils, rulers... Gee I hope she has her own ironing board and iron! She does have a lot of nerve! Does she think she can whip this up in a day. Some friends you are better off without. They are called users.

Sylvia H
December 23rd, 2015, 06:04 PM
She's retired, but not sure when she can get an entire day opened - BUT - it is just fine for you to take a whole day (and we know it would require more than one day) to come out to her place. I taught a friend how to make a jelly roll quilt - a very simple project. It took 3 sessions together. First was to buy a jelly roll and make the top. Second was to buy the backing, cut and piece it, baste and show her how to straight stitch quilt it. Third was to make the binding and bind it. Even more time would be needed if yardage had to be cut and sewn into pieced blocks.

There is a saying that the less you know about something, the easier it seems to do. I think in your "friend's" situation, this applies. If she does call again, you may want to suggest some online tutorials for her to watch so she gets an idea of what is involved.

K. McEuen
December 23rd, 2015, 06:07 PM
People that want you to help on their schedule are very seldom worth helping because they don't want to be put out at all, yet it is fine for you to rearrange everything in order to accommodate them.

Deegles
December 23rd, 2015, 06:12 PM
Hmmmm.... If she is visually impaired, then how could she really admire your quilt? It sounds to me like she wants to commission one instead of being taught. If she really wanted to learn, she would never have brought up the visually impaired comment. The nerve.

GuitarGramma
December 23rd, 2015, 06:16 PM
Hmmmm.... If she is visually impaired, then how could she really admire your quilt? It sounds to me like she wants to commission one instead of being taught. If she really wanted to learn, she would never have brought up the visually impaired comment. The nerve.
I believe that it's our friend Asta/Beth who is visually impaired, not her "friend" (M.P.) who wanted to be taught.

And Asta, I think you were about to be heavily taken advantage of. Let's hope she doesn't call back!

Carlie Wolf
December 23rd, 2015, 07:04 PM
I think you can cross her off your list asta. She's naughty not nice.

mommadeb
December 23rd, 2015, 07:13 PM
I would not do it if she does call back. Refer her to Jenny's wonderful tutorials.

Iris Girl
December 23rd, 2015, 07:13 PM
cross her off your list. She is a user and not worth your precious time! The nerve of some people indeed.

BobW
December 23rd, 2015, 07:18 PM
Beth,

Sometimes people are just ignorant. This person is a user, who only concerned about herself and not letting herself be inconvenienced. I think your offer to help her is fantastic, but if you want to teach someone, find someone who is willing to work on your schedule and situation.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

MayinJerset
December 23rd, 2015, 07:23 PM
Been there too. One day cousin A (who has tons of money) asked if I could teach her to quilt. I told her I could do it but first she would have to get a starting kit (mat/ruler/rotary cutter/scissors) and a few yards of fabric which would come to about $50. Oh, I added, do you have a working sewing machine? Never heard a word from her again about learning to quilt.

easyquilts
December 23rd, 2015, 07:34 PM
What Midge said....

SewnByBee
December 23rd, 2015, 07:36 PM
It's sweet that you were willing to help her. I don't see that she wanted to learn being she couldn't find a day.....I mean, ....you know it takes a day or two to make a
quilt, lol.
She was wanting you to do it for her, sounds like. To me.
Sorry she put you in this possession, I hate it for you.

Hey at least you know she liked your quilt. 😁 ju s t smile when you think about her.

Have a Merry Christmas Beth.

kaydee
December 23rd, 2015, 08:10 PM
For the next month or so . . . Caller ID is your best friend.

carolynrae
December 23rd, 2015, 08:21 PM
Haha. Good one! Let's see if I got this straight--she wants you to come to her house, and teach her how to quilt, and she needs to finish this by next month?? Does she even sew at all? Oh and she probably needs you to bring your sewing machine along (and of course it wouldn't inconvenience you to leave it there for her to use until the quilt is finished)--oh and could you also bring over your rotary cutter and mat, some thread, material and batting while you're at it! Oh and pins, wonder clips, marking pens, stencils, rulers... Gee I hope she has her own ironing board and iron! She does have a lot of nerve! Does she think she can whip this up in a day. Some friends you are better off without. They are called users.

This is spot on...and finished by January....I think I would have fallen off my chair laughing....and asked do you have any idea how much time goes into making a quilt? Your friends are right...she sounds like a user.

Grandma Nan
December 23rd, 2015, 08:52 PM
Oh my gosh make sure she is in your contacts list so for sure she comes up in your caller display!! Wouldn't want to answer that call by accident.

asta
December 23rd, 2015, 09:16 PM
Oh my gosh make sure she is in your contacts list so for sure she comes up in your caller display!! Wouldn't want to answer that call by accident.

This has already been done, I will not be able to answer her calls.

stitchwishes
December 23rd, 2015, 09:28 PM
Sounds like she got very awkward and didn't know what to do once she found out you couldn't see her lake house. She may not be a user, she just may have thought of the quilting as a way to reestablish contact and invite another person to ooh and ahh over her lake house. I wouldn't bother about it, she left you feeling very unimportant. If she really wants to learn to quilt and wants a valued friendship, she'd try again with your needs in mind. I'm in much the same position, if someone wants me they have to come to me, it really shows people's true character when your physical limitations inconvenience THEM. Probably good they don't actually have those limitations themself, they'd never be able to cope, lol!

Hugs darling, you're worth more than her time.

Kgrammiecaz
December 23rd, 2015, 09:48 PM
What an amazing person you are to have even said you would help her. With the holidays and your own things to do, you were willing to give some of that time to her. It is sad she even had the nerve (as you said) to ask. I am sad for her. And I prayer I will always have fiends like you in my life. Although true friends would have never made that request.

TMP
December 23rd, 2015, 10:15 PM
I've was in a similar situation. A friend of mine wanted to make a t-shirt quilt with her son's t-shirts . I have never made one and I told her that I still consider myself a beginner quilter and felt more comfortable working with plain old cotton. There is a local shop here that from time to time has a class in t-shirt quilts. I told her about the class and have never heard from her again. I don't mind sharing my time and limited knowledge with someone, but I could tell from the look on her face that was not the answer she wanted. She wanted me to make it for her.

ceiliam
December 23rd, 2015, 11:30 PM
I'm sorry ,no one should be put in this position. I am always amazed at people who think you owe them something. I always tell people who want me to quilt quilts I don't do that if I had time to do yours I would have time to do mine lol . solves the problem every time

Judy, USMC
December 23rd, 2015, 11:33 PM
The thing that raised a red flag for me was the fact that she could schedule a day for you to come to her ... but would have to find the time to spend a day and come to your house. Could it have been that she was taken aback by the news concerning your eyesight? Sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to respond.

I'm happy that she recognized your talent and admired the quilt you made. I'd take that as a compliment.

BobW
December 23rd, 2015, 11:58 PM
The thing that raised a red flag for me was the fact that she could schedule a day for you to come to her ... but would have to find the time to spend a day and come to your house. Could it have been that she was taken aback by the news concerning your eyesight? Sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to respond.

I'm happy that she recognized your talent and admired the quilt you made. I'd take that as a compliment.

Judy,

That is an amazing take on things. Maybe I gave the woman a bad rap. Maybe if she didn't know about your eyesight she was taken a back and didn't know how to react.

Thanks for putting a much better spin on this.

JCY
December 24th, 2015, 12:54 AM
If people really want to learn how to quilt, they need to be willing to sign up for a beginning quilting class at their LQS, or watch tutorials on line, & buy all the equipment & supplies needed, etc. There are just too many "takers" out there who want things handed out to them & take advantage of other people. I hope this woman never calls you back. She is not your friend.

Claire OneStitchAtATime
December 24th, 2015, 01:02 AM
I love Judy's input here. You never know what people are dealing with behind the scenes. Maybe there are other health or family issues for her that we don't know about & that keep her somewhat tied to home. Or maybe she's really as selfish as she sounds! We don't know, but giving someone the benefit of the doubt is generally a good strategy.

Jean Sewing Machine
December 24th, 2015, 01:02 AM
Haha. Good one! Let's see if I got this straight--she wants you to come to her house, and teach her how to quilt, and she needs to finish this by next month?? Does she even sew at all? Oh and she probably needs you to bring your sewing machine along (and of course it wouldn't inconvenience you to leave it there for her to use until the quilt is finished)--oh and could you also bring over your rotary cutter and mat, some thread, material and batting while you're at it! Oh and pins, wonder clips, marking pens, stencils, rulers... Gee I hope she has her own ironing board and iron! She does have a lot of nerve! Does she think she can whip this up in a day. Some friends you are better off without. They are called users.this is like déjà vu for me! A friend woke up at 2 am, dreamed up a quilt she wanted to make for her daughter's birthday in a week and a half, wanted me to embroider blocks, wanted my scraps of batting to use and wanted me to quilt it. This was 4 days before I left for vacation, with very few of my own Christmas products completed! I told her that I wouldn't quilt it for her as quilters have to PAY together their quilts quilted, either money to have someone do it or with the pain and agony of quilting it herself!

ozziepuppy
December 24th, 2015, 03:54 AM
I can translate and it goes like this: "Hi, I saw a quilt you made so I decided to call & see if I could get you to make one for my granddaughter whose birthday is next month!"

gshannon1008
December 24th, 2015, 07:39 AM
I have a few questions---is she a caregiver for someone in her home? Is there a reason she has to be in her home or can't get away for a day? Was she a person that would take advantage of someone when you worked with her? She did not know of your life changes and she may have a few issues of her own. Just thoughts to consider. Be blessed this holiday season.

Monique
December 24th, 2015, 09:13 AM
THE NERVE!!! If she would really like to learn, she would make more of an effort, just my two cents worth.

shermur
December 24th, 2015, 09:39 AM
THE NERVE!!! If she would really like to learn, she would make more of an effort, just my two cents worth.

Amen to this...you can't teach someone who isn't willing to learn, nor have a passion to succeed at learning. I've had these kind of "friends and family" suggest I make quilts/small projects for them and I am very explicit telling these people they have to furnish the materials. Then, I explain that time is very limited and it would be a long while before I could complete their requests!

Bubby
December 24th, 2015, 09:41 AM
You dodged a bullet, Asta.

goofydragon
December 25th, 2015, 06:11 PM
There's a huge difference between friends and acquaintances. So, if you have a true friend, count your blessings. Have a great holiday season.

bhaggerty
December 25th, 2015, 06:29 PM
Haha. Good one! Let's see if I got this straight--she wants you to come to her house, and teach her how to quilt, and she needs to finish this by next month?? Does she even sew at all? Oh and she probably needs you to bring your sewing machine along (and of course it wouldn't inconvenience you to leave it there for her to use until the quilt is finished)--oh and could you also bring over your rotary cutter and mat, some thread, material and batting while you're at it! Oh and pins, wonder clips, marking pens, stencils, rulers... Gee I hope she has her own ironing board and iron! She does have a lot of nerve! Does she think she can whip this up in a day. Some friends you are better off without. They are called users.

Yes, sounds like she wants you to come to her house, make a quilt for her to gift, and she will claim the honors.
If she really wants the quilt, she should hire you to make one for her.
Just my thoughts...

KPH
December 25th, 2015, 06:39 PM
So many unknowns, but my first impression was what a user. Who knows what the back story could be, but it certainly isn't possible to create a lovely quilt in so little time and have any time for your own family events.

It's so sad when people just don't understand how much effort goes into making a lovely quilt. I don't know anybody with Samantha's Bewitched skills.