View Full Version : Wedding Invitation/Announcement Redux

November 2nd, 2015, 03:24 AM
Recently there was a thread here addressing the question: Do you have to send a gift if you are not going to the wedding? Many people mentioned they get annoyed getting a wedding invitation if the bride knows that they can't make it, i.e., that many brides are just trolling for gifts when sending out invitations.

That discussion has recently gained more relevance in my life. My daughter got engaged a few weeks ago. She is having a very small (immediate family) wedding in Northern Ireland. We've rented a "castle" (more like a 300-yr-old mansion but they call it a castle) for a week, and there are more bedrooms than we will be using, but the bride and groom want to keep it to immediate family. (Luckily, everyone that will be invited can afford the flight to N. Ireland.)

So the question has arisen: Do we send announcements (announcements, not invitations) to more extended family that will not be invited to the wedding (and wouldn't be able to go anyhow)? Or is that asking for a gift? My daughter doesn't want to do it because she thinks it looks like you're asking for a gift; but my husband thinks it would be nice to send announcements to his siblings who are spread out across the country just to formally let them know. (His siblings are all much older than he is and several are not in good health. None could afford the trip anyhow, so not inviting them will be pretty easy in that I don't think anyone will be offended.)

The wedding isn't until July, but we have to get things decided because she's moving to Europe in March, so I will see her one week at Thanksgiving, three weeks at Christmas, one week when we pack up her California apartment, and then not again until the wedding. Yikes!

Thanks for your input, ladies!

November 2nd, 2015, 03:34 AM
Yes, it is proper to send Announcements immediately "AFTER" the wedding to announce she has gotten married.

That are what announcements are for... for announcing something that already happened.

It sound like a lovely wedding. I would have her register too... since you may find some people will be happy for her and want to send a gift. Have fun!

November 2nd, 2015, 03:43 AM
Why don't you send an announcement about her engagement instead?In that you can say that she will get married in Ireland with a small intimate group of family. People shouldn't feel pressured to send a gift unless they are invited to a shower.

K. McEuen
November 2nd, 2015, 03:53 AM
I think a wedding announcement is a great idea and it would make it that much more special for those that couldn't attend if a photo of the bride and groom could be included.

November 2nd, 2015, 04:48 AM
I agree with Karen. Also, you can put in the announcement something along the line that the only gift they want would be a special prayer or wishes for a wonderful life together. I'm not gifted when it comes to writing so hopefully you or they could come up with something special to write in the announcements.

The wedding sounds wonderful. I have only been to the airport in Dublin in the middle of the night. But I have heard that Ireland really is a "green" country. Any chance you could post pictures after the happy event?

November 2nd, 2015, 08:01 AM
I agree with Karen. Also, you can put in the announcement something along the line that the only gift they want would be a special prayer or wishes for a wonderful life together.

Great idea!!!

November 2nd, 2015, 09:10 AM
How about the final line "Please send cards only" ?

November 2nd, 2015, 02:45 PM
Thanks, ladies. I was wondering about including a picture, and yes, sending the announcement after the wedding.

I like the idea about adding a phrase about prayers and good wishes.

I'm not a good writer when it comes to this kind of stuff, but I am pretty good at plagiarizing what I find on the internet. :icon_heh:

I would be happy to post pics afterwards. I've heard the Irelands are beautiful. Lots of rain, but my daughter actually loves rain. We've been looking online for pic ideas to incorporate the rain. Lots of beautiful ideas out there. Love the idea of buying colorful rain boots and a pretty umbrella and being prepared. Also, because we will be there an entire week, there will be a lot of opportunity to take pics in sunny weather.