View Full Version : A secret diary

Divine Daisy
November 1st, 2015, 06:10 PM
I was sorting through some books and came across a book my kids used to love. The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole aged 13 3/4. I put it in the charity shop pile but kept thinking Lou is 13 and 3/4 just like Adrian Mole. I know one shouldn't but I had a look in her bed and sure enough I came across her diary!

Don't tell her that I gave you a peek............

The Secret Diary of a Collie aged 13 and ¾.

She deliberately slept in this morning which meant that one was urgently in need of going out. After dithering around drinking that brown stuff she is so devoted to she finally decided to get moving. I sensed trouble when she started putting on that noisy thing that covers everything and is like walking alongside a washing machine and sure enough when she opened the door everything was soaking and more was still coming down. I did give her my most withering look but she hurried me out into the vileness that was going to make my hair frizz. I sometimes wonder how these people managed before I came along to organise them.

Demonstrating the pride of my breed I ploughed out into the elements taking good care to do the classic Collie Weave immediately in front of her to ensure she knew where we were going and to control her speed. Clearly if she is going to wear the washing machine garment and those frankly disastrous pink rubber things on her feet, she cannot be relied upon to navigate herself and more importantly me safely to the park. Having successfully guided her despite increasingly rude comments from her about my beautiful Collie Weave and spurious accusations of me trying to trip her up (she still hasn’t grasped the effectiveness of the speed control) we finally arrived at my destination.

Now, as we all know the selection on a perfect place to poo is a delicate and vital part of one’s morning and it is not enhanced by comments such as ‘come on old lady, I am drowning here’ whilst she brandishes a green bag with which she scoops up my carefully placed poo thereby negating the science of marking one’s territory. I was therefore obliged to have seven leisurely wees to compensate for her error and to ensure that that toe rag of a Jack Russel knew that I had got there first this morning.

Having completed my route around the park and safely reached the road and the place where we cross there arose more negligent behaviour on her part. I have taught her very carefully that one crosses the road when the post beeps. It took me some time to ensure she had grasped this basic piece of road safety so I was disappointed that today it all went out of the window just because it was wet and according to her she needed yet more brown stuff to drink. She only tried to cross without the beeps people! I sat absolutely still and refused to put my life in her hands whilst she was in such a reckless mood. The look I gave her, I am certain conveyed the irrelevance of there being no traffic. I know that when she comments that I am OCD she is referring to my sublime grasp of how things need to be done and that the ‘C’ stands for Collie and the ‘D’ stands for divine or delectable or perhaps delicious but sometimes the tone she uses makes one think that she THINKS it means something else and as a result I was obliged to impose even more rigorous speed control to make a point.

Finally we reached home and she towelled me down to my satisfaction…thank you Aunty Deb for my new towel….. she got her cup of brown stuff and I am off for a kip.

A trying morning.

November 1st, 2015, 06:37 PM
Such a big responsibilty for a small dog. And what patience!

Sandy Navas
November 1st, 2015, 06:39 PM
Why is it, when you've been close to my heart and heavy on my mind that you manage to show up with a bit of jovial entertainment? We so miss you around here, and wish you were not experiencing such horrendous weather. Of course we all love some of that brown stuff to get us going, but I'll bet you wish you didn't have to go roaming around in the park before you got your fill.

Thanks for coming by and letting us know that you are chipper and full of spunk. You are truly loved here!!

November 1st, 2015, 06:45 PM
Oh my! When I first started reading this I really thought you were reading your daughter's diary! I thought oh no, I can't believe she would do that. Then as I read, I got confused...it sure didn't sound like a 13 year old's diary.

Thanks, you gave me a good laugh and and realization that I'm either slow or gullible!

November 1st, 2015, 07:09 PM
Welcome back, though naughty you were, reading us Lou's diary.

November 1st, 2015, 07:12 PM
This is my Sami's diary,

Jean Sewing Machine
November 1st, 2015, 07:47 PM
So very happy to hear from you, and hear a bit from Lou's day! Don't be a stranger!

Divine Daisy
November 1st, 2015, 09:03 PM
Ah, you are all so lovely to miss me :)

Things have been rough (health wise) busy (pets wise) and freaky (daughter Heather wise)

Heather was sent to the middle east.......lips are sealed as to where as she may have to go back. I was NOT happy and had not one nights sleep while she was there . She was gone for several months and I felt in too much danger the whole time. She is not in the armed forces, she is an engineer and I simply do not believe companies should be risking employees for the sake of money given the current climate out there. Communication was almost impossible while she was away. I could go on but I won't. I am reluctant to mention the organisation I was so afraid kidnapping her on the internet but you all know who I mean.

Seamus (Maine Coon) and Lou (Border Collie) have been my saving grace along with Mr Daisy of course. He has been my rock and I his I hope and the animals have kept us on our toes and smiling. Seamus is still doing his rounds to the pub, church and the Brownies and Lou is showing her true Collie nature with her organising and bossing us around (see her diary). I work hard to remain top B*tch which one has to do with a female Collie or you are in trouble lol. Mr Daisy bought us all T Shirts. Lou's says B*tch, mine says Top B*tch and his says Some Bloke!

I have just retired from my window dressing. I got too tired and hitting deadlines got very difficult. So the autumn one was my last. I made a Steam Punk outfit for the mannequin. I made a exposed crinoline covered in autumn leaves with horse hair and netting underneath with a hessian shawl fastened with a felted poppy for Remembrance Day in November. I also made a French braid quilt in Autumn colours to hang behind her. This will take my friend through to her Christmas window. She is on her own with that lol. I am done! Shame in a way cause I had a great window planned but I have admitted defeat. Too much for me.

So there you are.......... you are all caught up.

I hope this will leave me time and energy come and see you all more, plus I feel more of Lou's diary in my near future. Between her and Seamus there is always plenty to say.

Much love to all xxx

Sandy Navas
November 1st, 2015, 09:51 PM
I hope you truly realize how much you are loved here!! Please try to come as often as you can and give your Hunky-Dunk a hug for me. BTW Ewenice is doing well.

November 1st, 2015, 10:16 PM
Miss Daisy, it is so good to see you!

Lou sounds like as much of a hoot as Seamus! Sorry to hear that you have done your last window dressing - I loved seeing the ones that you have posted in the past - you are such a creative genius! But, I am also glad that you are taking time for yourself and it might lead to more time with us. You and Mr. D are both in my prayers.

Granny Judy
November 2nd, 2015, 05:15 AM
Gosh, how I have MISSED you!!! It is wonderful to have you back and to enjoy life with the pets thru your writing. Hugs to you and please do drop by often. PLEASE!

November 2nd, 2015, 09:10 AM
Great to see you here Miss Daisy. Sure missed you and good to hear your stories once again.

November 2nd, 2015, 09:30 AM
Lovely, Miss Daisy, simply lovely!!
We've missed you around here - and Lou sounds like my Cairn, Ella - finding the perfect spot to poo ;) (must be a girl thing...)

Cathy F
November 2nd, 2015, 10:18 AM
So good to see your post! You really should consider writing a book about your Seamus and Lou, I always look forward to reading about their travels in the neighborhood.

November 2nd, 2015, 12:44 PM
I missed you & your stories too!! Glad you will have more time for yourself now although I'm sure those windows will never be as interesting again.
I wish you would write a book about Seamus & Lou. I'm sure it would be a bestseller. :-)

November 2nd, 2015, 01:12 PM
Love your story! You are talented enough to write a sequel to the Story of Edgar Sawtelle, which was a great book by the way!!

November 2nd, 2015, 04:07 PM
Dear Miss Lou,

You have a fan across the ocean. And I am just as mystified as you. Why, when I always leave my twice to thrice daily gift on the approved display areas (She calls it the treelawn) does She immediately collect it? It doesn't matter that despite driving rain, wind, blinding snow squall or icy blast I search carefully for the best formerly favored spot, walking back and forth several times and even adjusting the squat some days until all seems perfect to me. No matter how long it takes. It's never good enough for a permanent display. At times I am disheartened. But then She does supply my kibbles and the occasional peanut butter stuffed Kong. So I guess She loves me, even though my gifts are not suitable for permanent exhibition. Any light you can shed on this tragic shortcoming of mine will be most welcome.

Yours truly,

Divine Daisy
November 2nd, 2015, 05:16 PM
Dear Tucker

The shortcoming is not yours my love, after extensive research I have concluded that the error is that of the Human Beans. In my youth............I am 13 3/4 in Bean years (96 1/4 in real years)...........there was much less of this territory control but they have become concerned that if they tread in it and spread the message around on their shoes dogs will take over the world. Now obviously if this were to happen, us Collies would be the leaders but there are swings and roundabouts to the principle.

It has taken many generations for us to train them to feed us, groom us and give us a warm place to sleep. If we were to re take the world we would have to again hunt for ourselves and be out in all weathers so the Collies have decided (we had a meeting) that exasperating as it is they must continue to pick up our poo. BUT. It is our duty to take as much time as possible, make as big a performance as is within our dramatic scope and choose the most awkward spot available to make our deposit. Nettles are always good particularly in driving rain.

So Tucker, keep flying the flag and doing the poo for all canine kind. You are I am sure doing a fine job. If you can persuade her to give you a little cabbage now and then........there is always the revenge of the wind.

Kind Regards

November 5th, 2015, 07:31 PM
Why is it, when you've been close to my heart and heavy on my mind that you manage to show up with a bit of jovial entertainment? We so miss you around here, and wish you were not experiencing such horrendous weather. Of course we all love some of that brown stuff to get us going, but I'll bet you wish you didn't have to go roaming around in the park before you got your fill.

Thanks for coming by and letting us know that you are chipper and full of spunk. You are truly loved here!!
I could not have said it better myself. So very happy to have you back, entertaining us with the wonderfully colorful tales of your beloved critters. Don't stay away so long...you make us worry. Hugs.

November 12th, 2015, 10:22 PM
Fun story, Alison. Very cleverly written. Nice to see you on the Forum.

November 13th, 2015, 12:41 AM
Could you post a picture of your Steam Punk window? Please?

November 13th, 2015, 12:48 AM
Could you post a picture of your Steam Punk window? Please?

Divine Daisy
November 13th, 2015, 09:27 PM
I have posted what I have in show and tell. Sorry I don't have one of the completed window