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View Full Version : So... Why are people so nasty?



Iris Girl
March 27th, 2015, 03:59 PM
Its Friday the end of my week this week. Things are going smooth at work. Then in comes the *itch from hell. Apparently she bought the wrong jewelry plier last night and now feels the need to take it out on me. The throws it on the counter then slaps the package and the receipt down. *I bought this last night and its not right I need it returned* with lots of attitude in her voice. I said well the packaging is all ripped open I have to get my manager to approve a return. She says *YOU **** well will take this back or I will have your job and your bosses , its brand new just bought last night. OK I said I need to call my manager. Manager comes up I tell her whats up she looks at the receipt and the item and tells the lady ok we'll take it back this time. Nasty customer tells my manager *She (referring to me) said she won't take it back* I said NO I said I had to call my manager. She goes OH really? Anyway we return it I smile tell her to have a wonderful day. She says you should try being nice some time.... what? I just don't get people. My manager apologized to me for having to take that crap. It so unfair that because I work that side of the register customers think its ok to be rude, nasty and condescending to the cashier. I feel better for getting that off my chest :)

K. McEuen
March 27th, 2015, 04:07 PM
That is exactly why I swore off working retail many, many years ago.

Carah
March 27th, 2015, 04:30 PM
Retail is the worst! I'm sorry you have to deal with "ladies" like that. If it helps I try to be overly nice to anyone that is in retail or that waitress. I have worked those jobs and they are almost equal in the customer part. I hope you have a good rest of the day!!

buckeyequilter
March 27th, 2015, 04:35 PM
I could not work retail.....

Iris Girl
March 27th, 2015, 04:39 PM
After awhile you learn to *consider the source* I can tell by reading the posturing (body language) which ones will be trouble and try and get them out quickly...doesn't always work. I love retail for all the people I meet and at the same time hate people. If that makes sense. This was only the 2nd really nasty person in 9 years working here I have encountered. The first one sent me off the floor in tears.

Sandy Navas
March 27th, 2015, 04:47 PM
She probably had to fix something, used the pliers and thought she'd never need them again, so why not return them?

I have never worked retail, but my Mom did when she was very young. She worked in a high-end clothing store and said it wasn't unusual for someone to buy something, wear it and return it the next day.

BUT, to treat someone such as this rude *itch is just not acceptable . . . I don't care who you are. I've had so many cashiers tell me that customers can be rude. One told me that she'd had a customer spit in her face. Totally uncalled for.

SuzyQue
March 27th, 2015, 04:51 PM
My husband and I just had a similar discussion.........why can't EVERYone just do their best to do the best, right thing....you know, do what they say they will, return calls, handle issues, etc. The world would be a totally different place if everyone would just try to be better people with each other. Sorry you had such a frustrating experience. It was uncalled for, in my opinion. I seem to have them too often myself!

Altairss
March 27th, 2015, 04:54 PM
I worked in retail for about 20 years its unbelievable what people consider acceptable behavior to others. when I get someone really bad I just try and kill them with kindness soft nice etc. It does have the added benefit of making them look like a real horses behind too. Its hard won information but you have to learn to not take it personally and sometimes you find out something bad just happened to them and they are taking it out on you. Something no one should do but it happens I just try and keep a chin up, not take it personally.

shirleyknot
March 27th, 2015, 05:05 PM
Far too many people think "manners" are just for the OTHER guy to use.

Eileen83flowers
March 27th, 2015, 05:07 PM
I am a florist and deal with many different situations, weddings funerals and birthday celebrations. Most of the time customers are really nice but sometimes you have to just keep smiling on the outside and think other thoughts!
My main pet hate at the moment is when a customer is giving you details of an order and then promptly answers their mobile and have a full conversation - I normally walk away at that point and then when they have finished I always make sure I am doing something and keep them waiting a few minutes, - they don't like it but can't really say much.
we have to smile when we received a complaint of a customer that she didn't like the colour of the ribbon bow, and another complained that our delivery driver knocked on her door while she was watching her favourite telvision programme! It takes all sorts doesn't it ?

WendyI
March 27th, 2015, 05:14 PM
This is why I personally could NEVER work in retail. I would have simply walked away from her and refused to serve her! NO WAY would I EVER have someone call me a name and then serve them. I just PM'd you something that might make you feel better next time someone pulls that crap. I think she should have been banned from the store! What rude behaviour!

Iris Girl
March 27th, 2015, 05:16 PM
My pet peeve also is the cell phone. Its ok to come to my register answer your phone and have a full convo with them while ignoring me. We have protocol we have to say and with a smile. I kind of love asking them these things overly exagerrated and slow when they are on the phone. I also make sure I thank those that ignore the ringing phone or answer and tell then i'll call back i';m at the register

WendyI
March 27th, 2015, 05:20 PM
talking on the phone when you are at the cash is just rude! What's the protocol for you?

Iris Girl
March 27th, 2015, 05:27 PM
We have to ask certain questions..How are you? Did you find everything you were looking for . Can I have your email (for coupon and reward purposes) Would you like to donate to....( whatever the charitable thing we are doing at the time is) ( books for Boys and girls club of america atm) Most are easy questions yes or no we have to hear so much static. My other pet peeve is. If your going to have a cell phone for coupons know to use it and have the coupons ready to be scanned. Can't tell you how many times I here *I just got this and have no clue how to do it. Then we get to show them, or It doesn't go brighter its a cell phone... I think I have a PHD in every phone on getting coupons, apps and how to make brighter I have to do it so often for customers...and what do I have a tracfone pay as you go smart phone and it does great things for me.

Carrie J
March 27th, 2015, 05:38 PM
First job was retail in High School, just made me study harder in my Business classes. People even then, could be major boogers! Takes a very, very special person to work in that field. People were rude and obnoxious then in the 70's, and even MORE so these days! One reason why I try very hard to be nice, thank them for their help, wish them a Good Day and smile!

kaydee
March 27th, 2015, 05:52 PM
I just try and kill them with kindness soft nice etc. It does have the added benefit of making them look like a real horses behind too.

If I'm out shopping and having a bad day, for whatever reason (the store's fault or my own problems), the last thing I feel like dealing with is a clerk who gets on his/her high horse and proceeds to try and "kill me with kindness". Really, it just makes things worse, and I walk away thinking I can't stand condescending clerks who, if they would just do their job right, would in fact make my day a "nice day". Really, if I'm not smiling and talkative, then just leave me alone. My mind is clearly on something else -- some problem which a clerk doesn't need to make worse by being judgmental of my mood.

I don't know why the woman was a bitch. And neither does anyone else. I can, however, think of a great many possible reasons why she might be so crabby. Perhaps when encountering a customer who is clearly incredibly unhappy, a professional clerk could show some empathy and just help them get out of the store and back to whatever problems are ruining their day/life rather than add to their misery with their insincere and condescending "have a nice day" platitudes.

Trying to make someone who is clearly miserable (like the woman returning the pliers) "look like a real horses behind" actually tends to make YOU look like the horses behind since you don't have the slightest idea what is bothering the woman. Empathy might just be something that would make her day nicer, if even for that moment.

And yes, I have worked retail and I have waited on tables. And I frequently thanked my lucky stars I wasn't experiencing the pain that several of my customers were obviously experiencing.

snippet
March 27th, 2015, 06:29 PM
I'm so sorry you ha to endure her behavior. I don't know why people can't be nicer to one another.

I learned how rude people were when I was a kid working at a fried chicken place. I worked the drive through and they were terrible. I hated it.

Thanks for working in a tough job. It takes someone special to be kind to customers when they are rude and mean.

GrammaBabs
March 27th, 2015, 06:31 PM
Hey gals.... "retail" was my life!!! I can honestly say I enjoyed it! Customer Service, Cashier, Clerk in all sorts of depts... EVERY time I got a promotion... I'd go back to the "worker" position,,, don't put me in charge,, just give me direction and I follow!!!! LOL
I guess for me it was easy because none of my "money" was for paying bills... we made do with whatever my DH's check provided.. Anything I made was for me or something special for my children.. That being said................ NOW is a totally different world!

It's clear to see that a lot of people get a job and take their personality with them and their good and bad attitudes... I feel so sorry for people that are always "feeling the negative" and taking it out on everybody BUT the person that probably deserves it!
Kudo's to the manager that praised you for doing the right thing... that is what they are for.. to deflect people like that,,, their was no pleasing "Miss Customer".. you did all you could, and as for venting your feelings about such rudeness... good for you for choosing to do it "here" after the fact... Remember this... It's pitiful , and I feel sorry for the type that would lose their cool over something as simple as a "return".. AND... There should be a tolerance test for anyone working retail, I think... too bad there isn't,, perhaps pay according to performance...:))))))

shirleyknot
March 27th, 2015, 07:53 PM
Heh. I used to tend bar. REAL interesting customers.

bubba
March 27th, 2015, 07:54 PM
I'm sorry that happened to you. Working at 911 wasn't much better. A lot of the people who called there, I realize were under stress, but treated us like crap...just because I guess.

Snip Snip
March 27th, 2015, 08:42 PM
You know, I have worked in retail for many years, and got some real doosies; fortunately no one ever called me a *itch or cussed me out. So I empathize with your situation.
But I have to say I really resent having to answer those questions from clerks, the automatic "What's your zip code" "your phone number?" well, may I have your e-mail address?"
I usually try to answer politely "I am paying cash, and don't want to give out my personal information." Or ask if that info is necessary to complete the sale. Sometimes are more irritating than others. Maybe it's just me.

And, after you have paid way too much hard-earned money for their product, clerks don't often don't even say "thank you" anymore. If anything it's "Here ya go" as they hand me change, and if I say "thank you" to them, they say "no problem," like they did me a favor by allowing me to spend my money there.

SallyO'Sews
March 27th, 2015, 08:59 PM
In my experience, people are more likely to complain than compliment, so I make an effort to compliment good customer service when I see it. If someone has helped me in one part of the store, I try to mention it to the cashier ("Oh, and please thank Mary in your housewares department for me - she was great!"); even though the cashier is not a manager, it usually brightens their day anyway. I also try to email my thanks when an online company gives me prompt, courteous service. I almost always get a grateful response back. It is never any fun to deal with someone who is unpleasant, no matter which side of the counter you're standing!

jjkaiser
March 27th, 2015, 09:28 PM
My MIL used to work in the county welfare office until somebody she was trying to help actually bit her in the arm!! She quit the next day. Some people aren't happy no matter what!

Pandabear
March 27th, 2015, 11:24 PM
I'm so sorry you have to deal with people like this. You should make faces at them in your imagination. Just because you can.

bubba
March 28th, 2015, 01:34 AM
I have a funny story to tell you about someone who filed a complaint against me once. When you are a dispatcher on graveyard, once most the people who answer the phones go home at 0300, dispatchers have to help until 0900 when the phones get busy. One morning about 0530 I answer a 911 line and it is a cranky woman telling me that her husband had just called her and told her he had been robbed when he went in to open the business he worked at. She knew nothing and I asked her the phone number he was at. She very snottily told me that he would not be able to tell me anything because he was blind.

Well, I have a cousin who is blind, so I knew a little about this. I called the man, and I was surprised to find him quite nice considering the witchy woman he was married to. Now, knowing he was blind, once I got his location, I asked if the guy had fought with him or said anything, thinking he would be able to tell me if it was a man or woman, white or black (by the sound of the voice) and approximate height and weight. Well, as it turned out, he was able to answer all my questions...this was going along splendidly! I then asked if he could tell what the person was wearing, a jacket, sweatshirt, etc, because they had fought I figured he would have felt the clothing. I also asked if he knew what way the guy ran, thinking he would have heard it. Well, he started telling me the color of the guys clothes and then said he ran out the back door, east in the alley and north on the next street.

It was now I asked him if he had seen this person, because there was no way a blind man could be telling me these things!! Of course I saw him! he said.....

I should not have asked anything else, but I said, Sir, did you know that your wife thinks you are blind? He said what????? Blind????? That crazy bat told you I was blind???? Well, the police showed up then and he hung up the phone and then immediately called his wife and confronted her about telling me he was blind! She called and filed a complaint against me for doing that! I just shook my head. She was the big fat liar, I was only telling the truth! I still giggle when I think of it.

Iris Girl
March 28th, 2015, 05:40 AM
But I have to say I really resent having to answer those questions from clerks, the automatic "What's your zip code" "your phone number?" well, may I have your e-mail address?"
I usually try to answer politely "I am paying cash, and don't want to give out my personal information." Or ask if that info is necessary to complete the sale. Sometimes are more irritating than others. Maybe it's just me.



And, after you have paid way too much hard-earned money for their product, clerks don't often don't even say "thank you" anymore. If anything it's "Here ya go" as they hand me change, and if I say "thank you" to them, they say "no problem," like they did me a favor by allowing me to spend my money there.

As far as zip code, email, phone number . we ask for email it is a simple yes or no question. It gets you your coupons and reward coupons. Stores ask these questions for demographics and to get a better feel for what the customer wants. You can always say no, but we the cashiers have to ask its part of our job and our performance is rated in our reviews. We are also on camera so things can be seen from both points of view.

I am the Pollyanna type. Look happy and smiley even when crying inside for the most part. I always greet my customer with Hi how are you? Did you find everything you needed? I always recite how much their total is, confirm how much they are giving me and recite how much I am giving them back. Even count it back if its a larger amount say They spent 27.56 and gave me a hundred. I always say have a nice day. I am the senior cashier there and one of the most trusted and valued employees. Have done retail all my life its what I do and for the most part love interacting with customers.

I truely believe that everyone out of school should have to do a mandatory amount of time as a cashier and a waitress. Just because it may make someone a little more humble to those doing that job. Everyone is not cut out to be a top notch business executive. But we have feels and rights just as those people do. Some people need to have a big slice of humble pie from time to time.

rebeccas-sewing
March 28th, 2015, 06:34 AM
No matter what problem or unfortunate experience you're having in your life, it doesn't give you an excuse to speak hatefully to ANYONE! The idea of someone actually being spit in the face makes my blood boil. It's so sad to me that there are so many mean, hateful, rude people in our world. I have great respect for anyone who deals with the public in their line of work. My hat's off to you.

Midge
March 28th, 2015, 10:30 AM
I worked over 3 decades in health care. You learn very early how to manage the worst of human behavior at a very vulnerable time. Very different context from shopping or dining out, though, and I realize that while my job was confront those people in a productive way and find a way to a mutual understanding, the retail employee has no such option open to her/him. I try to think of what miserably unhappy people they must be if they treat retail clerks or servers so horribly. And how little sense of morality they have if in their mind it is OK to abuse others. I think of their children and pets and say a little prayer that their hearts will be opened. That's just me, and when I do this I find I am the one given grace.

MRoy
March 28th, 2015, 10:58 AM
My MIL used to work in the county welfare office until somebody she was trying to help actually bit her in the arm!! She quit the next day. Some people aren't happy no matter what!

I've worked both in retail AND in the county welfare office. I always tried to be nice and empathetic, even when being cursed at, but sometimes I had to be firm with welfare clients. I've been known to talk like a sailor after the person left the building too. You're right...some folks aren't happy or nice no matter what!

I salute everyone who works retail...it's not an easy job. Usually when a clerk is asking questions about telephone numbers, etc. it's because they've been instructed to do so as part of their job. They probably get tired of asking the same questions to every customer every day.

MartinaG
March 28th, 2015, 01:39 PM
As long as we accept bad behavior and make excuses for it, nothing will change.

bhaggerty
March 28th, 2015, 03:13 PM
It is uncalled for and unconscionable. It happens everywhere though. I think people believe they get what they want when they are mean and throw a temper tantrum.

Iris Girl
March 28th, 2015, 03:26 PM
It is uncalled for and unconscionable. It happens everywhere though. I think people believe they get what they want when they are mean and throw a temper tantrum.

I agree this goes back to the squeeky wheel gets the oil. They figure if they are loud and demanding they get what they want as shop keeper will do it to get them out with as little scene as possible. In a lot of cases it works. There have been a few cases where my manager has told a customer they are not welcome in the store. Harder to do these days as those are the people that complain to corporate and corporate never has your back. Glad I have a manager who will stand up for us and go to corporate in our behalf if we are in the right.

ceiliam
March 28th, 2015, 03:34 PM
I worked for 20 plus years cust service, some of it phone ,,can i say oh my amazing what people will say when they cant see you...Regardless i always tried to be kind and nice, as i never knew what was going on. I have a college degree and have been called every word for stupid. I learned to let it roll off my back, i think 99 percent of people. Are nice its thT one per cent that makes you wonder. I have even had nasty people turn around and talk to sup who told him thatvthey apologize d for being awful, but i was alwys polite and listed to them. That being said i am sorry this happened. To you, customer service is one of the most stressful jobs . i wish everyone had to work customer service, changes your perspective. I do think that ther also been a change in society, that we have gone to so much self intitlement that manners and common courtsey has gone out the window. Ok that is my rant.

Genny
March 28th, 2015, 03:36 PM
Its Friday the end of my week this week. Things are going smooth at work. Then in comes the *itch from hell. Apparently she bought the wrong jewelry plier last night and now feels the need to take it out on me. The throws it on the counter then slaps the package and the receipt down. *I bought this last night and its not right I need it returned* with lots of attitude in her voice. I said well the packaging is all ripped open I have to get my manager to approve a return. She says *YOU **** well will take this back or I will have your job and your bosses , its brand new just bought last night. OK I said I need to call my manager. Manager comes up I tell her whats up she looks at the receipt and the item and tells the lady ok we'll take it back this time. Nasty customer tells my manager *She (referring to me) said she won't take it back* I said NO I said I had to call my manager. She goes OH really? Anyway we return it I smile tell her to have a wonderful day. She says you should try being nice some time.... what? I just don't get people. My manager apologized to me for having to take that crap. It so unfair that because I work that side of the register customers think its ok to be rude, nasty and condescending to the cashier. I feel better for getting that off my chest :)

Been in your shoes...many times. The worst *itch I dealt with was one that thru such a fit that she went screaming out the store...and left her son behind at my register. He was probably about 9 or 10. I looked at him and ask him if he was going to need to call someone to come and get him and he said...no...she does this all the time. She'll be out in the car waiting. Poor kid seemed embarrassed...me I just thought she was nuts :lol:

IBake
March 28th, 2015, 06:50 PM
I was the office manager for a dot com and my receptionist was getting a really nasty women repeated on the phone. She finally calls me over and asks what to do. We had caller ID so when this women called again I took the call. She was looking for a 4 star admiral in the navy. I told her that we were dot com and not connected with the navy and she had the wrong number. This went on for about 4 minutes. She was getting louder and louder as I was getting a real crowd around the desk listening. I Told her that I could get navy information for her if she wanted but she insisted that he had given her our number. Finally she yelled at me at me and told me that that was why we were going to go out of business ....we didn't let her talk to the admiral. My guess? He gave her the wrong number of a reason! She called back one more time, but when I answered the phone she hung up. How did she ever get so unhappy? <<<shaking head>>>

sassygranny
March 28th, 2015, 08:53 PM
My ex husband routinely treated people in retail and food service horribly. He seemed to enjoy it. No...wasn't having a bad day. He wasn't under stress. He was simply an ugly person who enjoyed being hateful. Sometimes they have no excuse except their own unfortunate personalities. Feeling empathy for them is, IMHO, giving them way too much credit.

CarolynK
March 29th, 2015, 10:12 AM
This is EXACTLY why I am done with public customer service. I've dealt with so many indignant people in the last 3 1/2 years and I'm done. I run the office for a rural water district and holy cow - "you mean to tell me that I have to pay my water bill every month". "I think you are price gouging your customers" (we are a non-profit business). "I bet YOU get a break on your water bill" (No, I don't - I pay the same as everyone else). And so on....there were days that I just about called the local sheriff on a few that I felt were escalating to violent behavior especially the ones where we locked their meter because they owed us for three or four months of water. People get really testy if they don't have water.

New York Sue
March 29th, 2015, 10:27 AM
I sympathize, April, I really do.
But having recently flown, the worst job in the world has got to be an airline ticket agent, at the boarding site. Airlines oversell flights everyday, planes don't pass a maintenance check, and your day is one 'HOT MESS'.
No way, now how, would I put up with that abuse!

Deegles
March 29th, 2015, 01:08 PM
Its Friday the end of my week this week. Things are going smooth at work. Then in comes the *itch from hell. Apparently she bought the wrong jewelry plier last night and now feels the need to take it out on me. The throws it on the counter then slaps the package and the receipt down. *I bought this last night and its not right I need it returned* with lots of attitude in her voice. I said well the packaging is all ripped open I have to get my manager to approve a return. She says *YOU **** well will take this back or I will have your job and your bosses , its brand new just bought last night. OK I said I need to call my manager. Manager comes up I tell her whats up she looks at the receipt and the item and tells the lady ok we'll take it back this time. Nasty customer tells my manager *She (referring to me) said she won't take it back* I said NO I said I had to call my manager. She goes OH really? Anyway we return it I smile tell her to have a wonderful day. She says you should try being nice some time.... what? I just don't get people. My manager apologized to me for having to take that crap. It so unfair that because I work that side of the register customers think its ok to be rude, nasty and condescending to the cashier. I feel better for getting that off my chest :)

Think of it like this. If this woman behaves like this to complete strangers, can you imagine how (if she has anyone) much they suffer. I figure she is someone who has driven everyone away and is angry and lonely. It sounds like you have the right attitude. Working in retail in a small town myself for a few years you learned when to cringe when these people walked through the door. Some people are never satisfied or happy.

Mpyles
March 29th, 2015, 01:15 PM
Its Friday the end of my week this week. Things are going smooth at work. Then in comes the *itch from hell. Apparently she bought the wrong jewelry plier last night and now feels the need to take it out on me. The throws it on the counter then slaps the package and the receipt down. *I bought this last night and its not right I need it returned* with lots of attitude in her voice. I said well the packaging is all ripped open I have to get my manager to approve a return. She says *YOU **** well will take this back or I will have your job and your bosses , its brand new just bought last night. OK I said I need to call my manager. Manager comes up I tell her whats up she looks at the receipt and the item and tells the lady ok we'll take it back this time. Nasty customer tells my manager *She (referring to me) said she won't take it back* I said NO I said I had to call my manager. She goes OH really? Anyway we return it I smile tell her to have a wonderful day. She says you should try being nice some time.... what? I just don't get people. My manager apologized to me for having to take that crap. It so unfair that because I work that side of the register customers think its ok to be rude, nasty and condescending to the cashier. I feel better for getting that off my chest :)
It's experiences like this that force me to believe in karma...she'll get hers!

bubba
March 29th, 2015, 02:13 PM
I sympathize, April, I really do.
But having recently flown, the worst job in the world has got to be an airline ticket agent, at the boarding site. Airlines oversell flights everyday, planes don't pass a maintenance check, and your day is one 'HOT MESS'.
No way, now how, would I put up with that abuse!

This is what our youngest daughter does. At Alaska Airlines, you are trained to work the curb, the lobby, the ticket counter, and the boarding area and they rotate you around so you are always doing something different. She loves it!