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WendyI
February 17th, 2015, 08:25 PM
After a very rough and lonely weekend (Valentines Day) I am heading out shortly to a group I joined for divorced people. I also joined another group that is 45 min away and I go to that one tomorrow night.

Scott went out very early Saturday morning he said to look at apartments. At almost seven pm he was not home yet and of course it being valentines day, my imagination and broken heart went wild. I texted him and told him if he was seeing someone to come get his sh*t and get the f**k out. (sorry but I was beside myself). the only thing I asked for during this entire nightmare was that he not see anyone else until I was out on my own. He managed to convince me that nothing was going on and I spent the rest of the night crying in my room.

The next day I met a friend for coffee for about two hours and I felt so much more like myself again. I hope these two groups will grow into friendships and support systmes that I am needing so much. I've been anxious and nervous all day so I sure hope it goes well.

Thanks for listening again.

Monique
February 17th, 2015, 08:32 PM
Ah Wendy. It is too bad we didn't live closer to each other. I wish you good luck tonight.

Deegles
February 17th, 2015, 08:37 PM
My mind plays tricks like that sometimes. I think the worst. I suppose that way I will not be disappointed, but that logic is crazy. I completely understand what you are going through. It sounds like you will mend one stitch, one day at a time. Enjoy your group, it will be good therapy.

Amy R
February 17th, 2015, 08:39 PM
It will really help to be in these support groups, perhaps if I'd gone to them after my previous marriage it wouldn't have taken so long to heal!
I wish you much luck and more friends.
Definitely better memories.

alliek
February 17th, 2015, 09:21 PM
Wendy ((((()))))) :icon_hug:

ravelim
February 17th, 2015, 09:24 PM
Wendy, I'm sorry. That was an awful experience. Did I tell you my DD just went through a divorce as well. She has turned out much happier and better overall. The divorce was is Oct. This too shall pass for you. Hugs to you.

Claire OneStitchAtATime
February 17th, 2015, 09:35 PM
Good luck, Wendy. Valentine's Day is a cruel holiday, in my opinion -- it rubs it in for single people and encourages people in relationships to be smug. Yes, what the Grinch is to Christmas, I am to Valentine's Day :)

Gina
February 17th, 2015, 09:46 PM
Good luck, Wendy! I hope you make some new forever friends!

Kgrammiecaz
February 17th, 2015, 09:52 PM
Sorry to hear you had a rough weekend, but I am happy to hear you have joined groups. Great way to make some new friends and start a new circle of life.

Hulamoon
February 17th, 2015, 10:00 PM
I'm so happy you joined a group. Getting feedback in person is going to be way more rewarding than a forum (even though we love you), and you can make some friends! I want to hear how it goes :)

Jean Sewing Machine
February 17th, 2015, 10:33 PM
Valentine's Day stinks if you are alone. I could hardly look at FB all day for the tributes of flowers, snuggling couples on there. The cat doesn't like kisses, so the only thing I could kiss is the mirror. My first Valentines Day alone was very miserable, then I lowered my expectations for it, and let it pass in later years without giving it much thought.

Have fun in the group tonight!

Midge
February 17th, 2015, 10:37 PM
So sorry to hear about your weekend sadness, and so glad to hear you are going to the divorce support group. Here's hoping there are some kindred spirits there. Big hugs to you.

inspired
February 17th, 2015, 11:36 PM
Wendy; So sorry you are dealing with this stuff. Good Luck tonight! If you are brave enough to go out to a meeting tonight in this freaking cold then take it as a sign of good things to come!

bscuzz
February 18th, 2015, 12:00 AM
Wendy, so sorry for your sad weekend . . BUT I like Jean's "kissing the mirror" idea - seriously, learn to 'love yourself'!!

I think I posted once before that many years ago during my divorce, I went to a therapy group called "Single Again" with some very nice ladies 'n one guy - this guy kept the sessions on balance . . and the thing that surprised me was that many in my group were 'worse off than I was' - I had a good job with income, some of the ladies hadn't worked in years and had no real marketable skills - I wound up feeling sorry for some of them. It stopped me from feeling sorry for myself - not to say it wasn't a '****ty' time in my life that took time to heal.

But I am now in a wonderful marriage with a Mr. who loves me, keeps me happy and makes me laugh - what more can you want. I say that because there is great promise ahead for you . . . take it one step at a time, love yourself and be patient for the good things that await you. :icon_hug:

ilive2craft2
February 18th, 2015, 01:03 AM
Glad you found a couple of groups to try out - it is great to have options and more contacts with other people going through the same thing and hopefully some that have been through it.

Hoping that you "clicked" with the group tonight, but if not, give it another couple of tries, sometimes first impressions are just that and the mix of the group can change from week to week.

Continued good thoughts and hugs to you.

MayinJerset
February 18th, 2015, 01:42 AM
Keep moving on girl - you'll be in a better place before you know it!

stationarymom
February 18th, 2015, 02:15 AM
Wendy I'm sorry you had such a rough weekend.I agree with the others it should help to have others to go through this experience with you. Maybe some of them will be close enough that you can reach out or visit when you need or want.

snippet
February 18th, 2015, 03:10 AM
I don't know how you managed to be so strong this past weekend Wendy. I managed through my first few lonely Valentine's Days by remembering 'any day without him is better than one silly holiday with him'

sidesaddles
February 18th, 2015, 03:26 AM
Wendy, be sure to include your son in some of this counseling. This process is hard and confusing for him also.

Sylvia H
February 18th, 2015, 03:29 AM
I hope you will find help and friendship in the groups you are joining. Your situation made me think of a quilty saying: Our lives are like quilts...bit and pieces, joy and sorrow, stitched with love. I hope you always remember that there will always be stitches of love for you on this forum.

maxwellthecat
February 18th, 2015, 04:08 AM
Wendy, I hope you meet lots of people and have them turn into very good friendships. We don't even celebrate Valentine's Day. Have a great time with your groups.

Sonic
February 18th, 2015, 09:47 AM
Good luck, Wendy. Valentine's Day is a cruel holiday, in my opinion -- it rubs it in for single people and encourages people in relationships to be smug. Yes, what the Grinch is to Christmas, I am to Valentine's Day :)

Amen! It should be wiped from the calender completely.
It's a cruel holiday even for couples because no matter how hard the man tries, most can't live up to the diamond/expensive "show her she's a princess" gifts pressure....and as for us...well the inflated pressure to present as the perfect wife/girlfriend and reward said man's efforts with ___________(whatever they expect...not going there) is just not....all that heartwarming.
Really...doesn't help the self image all the way around.

Wendy, I had a rough weekend too. I'm divorced and have been through what you are dealing with.
If it makes you feel better I slipped on the ice Saturday morning while carrying something heavy and totally busted my arse. And I muttered some very curious language...something to the effect... of course this would happen today! Of Course.
Well, I muttered other things too but can't really repeat them here. :D

These days I use Valentine's day to just hug my kiddo a little tighter.
Hope your get together went well.....things will improve, I promise.

Granny Fran
February 18th, 2015, 01:31 PM
Wendy, hope you get what you need from these groups. Be aware that it is not a mutual pity party. Some folks enjoy wallowing in their situation. What you need is support to rise above, not stay where you are. Just saying (from experience).

ceiliam
February 18th, 2015, 01:36 PM
oh my Wendy I am so sorry you go through this, I promise it will get better. I am glad you are finding ways to make friends and move on