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Mom23
February 5th, 2015, 02:50 PM
Thank you for your emails, and personal messages I just found in my forum inbox. I am sorry to have worried you.

The holidays were a bit rough for me. Had an issue with my son and daughter in law that affected our entire family. Have any of you grandma's out there been told you cannot rock your grandchildren? That is where the ordeal started. I sat in a rocking chair to read my grandson a story book and all hell broke loose. I had been told I couldn't rock him but I thought it was just to sleep. No, he is not allowed to sit in a rocking chair, or swayed when he is held. I was accused of not following parental directions on purpose. It's just the craziest thing I have ever heard. That opened the "can of worms" and many things were brought up and "discussed". We are all trying very hard to mend the hurt that has been caused. It's a start.

Anyway, after a tough Christmas I made the decision to deactivate myself from as many of life's distractions as possible. I now realize that I need my quilting friends on the forum. After a couple little vacations to Florida, I'm back and ready to share some quilts I've made. I hope to get them downloaded in the next day or two.

I can't remember the last time I looked at the forum so I'm sure I have lots of catching up to do!

dwil23
February 5th, 2015, 02:55 PM
So sorry to hear that. I shake my head in amazement at some of the things young parents do and believe today. I wonder how they ever survived us raising them? Or how we survived at all?

Anyway, praying for healing for your family and it is good to see you back!

Amy R
February 5th, 2015, 03:42 PM
That is so sad. My little one was rocked so much she probably thought she lived on a boat. The generation after mine are getting pretty extreme and for my cousin violent towards her about stupid little things. Praying for you and glad to see you back.

Sandy Navas
February 5th, 2015, 03:45 PM
Oh, Robin - glad to see you've 'flown home'. Hugs and more.

MayinJerset
February 5th, 2015, 03:52 PM
Welcome back, we missed you and sorry for the family problem.

Been there, done that with a son and DIL over a different problem. Never got resolved because DIL refused to discus it. Sorry to say it will never get resolved as she passed away a year ago. She was a very nice person but I think the basic problem was that she didn't want her kids to be with us.

Jean Sewing Machine
February 5th, 2015, 03:53 PM
Yaaaaaaaay! She's back! We missed you so! Stick with us, babe, you know we're here to support you!

MRoy
February 5th, 2015, 03:59 PM
Welcome back Robin!

K. McEuen
February 5th, 2015, 04:00 PM
Glad to see you back!

As for the not rocking, I would have required an explanation as to why because it makes no sense. It's not like you are rocking him hard enough to give him shaken baby syndrome or something. It's just weird.

WendyI
February 5th, 2015, 04:09 PM
Welcome back Robin!

I have to say that is the oddest thing I have ever heard! Babies LOVE to be rocked! Sounds like your DIL is a nightmare. I'm so sorry. ((((HUGS)))) xox

kaydee
February 5th, 2015, 04:15 PM
Welcome back. I'm curious. Did they explain why they did not want your grandchild rocked? I've never hear of that.

Sylvia H
February 5th, 2015, 04:21 PM
Welcome back! This is a very supportive group, so I a glad you came back and shared your problem with us. My only grandchild is 16 years old, so I am not aware of the "latest" in child development. Is there a problem with your grandchild that is increased through rocking? I only know that before birth, the baby "sloshed" in a rocking motion, and after birth, rocking was a soothing motion for many babies. I told both of my children, that when they had children, that I would follow their rules and regulations, but that I would hope that they would let me discuss any concern I had with them. Grandparents are an important part of a child's life. I hope you will find a solution to this problem.

rebeccas-sewing
February 5th, 2015, 04:26 PM
Very strange. I'd like to know the explanation as well. Rocking is a normal part of nurturing. How many times have a I seen a new parent standing around waiting (without holding a child) rocking back and forth. It's always obvious to me that they are new parents. It's just a normal thing to do. You know who I feel sorry for? Your grandchild. They probably read something online that told them rocking spoils a child. If so, that's a lot of hogwash. Good grief!!! People have been rocking their children for decades.

stitching woman
February 5th, 2015, 04:33 PM
Oh Robbin I would never get to hold a child as I sit in a rocker all the time and I must say it never stops. I love to rock and I have never seen a child the didn't calm down when rocked. Hope things get resolved and hard feelings repaired

Glad to have you back.

Bratbear
February 5th, 2015, 04:49 PM
Welcome back. I too have been a victim of some crazy new parenting rule. Along with accusations and denial to see your grandchildren. The hurt is worse than a cut with a knife. Hugs to you!!!!

cyndiofthevortex
February 5th, 2015, 05:30 PM
Welcome back! I'm so sorry to hear about the family problems. New parents sometimes believe some weird stuff. I hope they grow out of this one for their child's sake! Kids get comfort and feel secure when they are rocked. It's a normal part of caring for them. How weird to think it would harm a little one!

Preeti
February 5th, 2015, 05:53 PM
We are happy to have you back :-)

quiltingtrish
February 5th, 2015, 06:01 PM
Glad to see you back, Robin. You know you will always be welcome here.
Craziest thing I ever heard of - not rocking a child. Unless the child has some medical problem that would harm them, then I say ok, no problem. Otherwise, I too, feel sorry for the child.

Angelia
February 5th, 2015, 06:04 PM
Glad you are back!

I had a friend who couldn't rock her daughter when the baby was very young--she (the baby, not the mom!) vomited every time. Kind of like seasickness--she grew out of it in a few months.

pcbatiks
February 5th, 2015, 06:06 PM
Glad your back, Robin! Hoping the family "rocking" issue will fade away. I don't know how you can hold a baby and not rock or sway........it's automatic! :D

Simply Quilting
February 5th, 2015, 06:19 PM
Robin, glad to have you back :)

SuzyQue
February 5th, 2015, 07:46 PM
Robin......welcome back. I don't know how I would have survived my DD without rocking and swinging! Curious as to the reasoning......oh, well.....hope all can be mended quickly. Looking forward to seeing your quilts!

Nidan_07
February 5th, 2015, 11:04 PM
Welcome back Robin, I am so sorry that things have not been good for you. I hope that things continue to mend, and you do find comfort from your quilting and our forum. Onward and upward !!

auntiemern
February 5th, 2015, 11:22 PM
Welcome back darlin'. Sorry for the family drama...parent's these days (ughh). Glad to have you back where you belong. We aren't a distraction, we are family. If ya decide to divorce us again...can ya let us know, so we can set ya straight.

stationarymom
February 6th, 2015, 02:32 AM
Welcome back Robin. I'm sorry about the family fuss,just hang out here.

dlsnaples
February 6th, 2015, 07:07 AM
Robin, I am so sorry for your frustration and pain. I fear that I may be in for some of the same drama. My Dear, dear son and his beautiful wife are now 12 weeks pregnant. I greatly dread the coming drama. I will pray that God will give all of us Grandmas strength and grace.

Monique
February 6th, 2015, 07:58 AM
Crazy is an understatement. I am glad you are back.

Mom23
February 6th, 2015, 10:34 AM
Thanks you all for your "open arms". It's good to be back. I read several posts from the past few weeks but can't possibly read them all. Wow, the forum is really growing!!!

For those that asked, the reason I wasn't allowed to rock was because the babysitter has a child the same age. She asked them not to rock because she didn't want him to get spoiled and used to rocking. One of these days they will look back and see how crazy this all was.

WendyI
February 6th, 2015, 10:40 AM
Wow...I'd be ****ed if I'd let my babysitter dictate how I raise my child. That's just bizarre. I hope they realize how silly this all is. Kids adapt to the environment they are in...if the sitter doesn't like to rock the baby will figure it out. I'm so sorry this was such an issue for your family. (((HUGS))) again. xox

Grandma Nan
February 6th, 2015, 01:53 PM
I have missed you so much Robin. It is very good to have you back. Family issues are so heart breaking and especially for grandmas who just love those little ones so much. From our conversations at the Retreat, it seems like DIL looks for reasons to cause an issue.

My DIL was a bit that way when they first got married but I am happy to say that now 12 years later we are the best of friends. I think in the early part of marriage (and I dont know how long your kids have been together) that DIL likes or needs to establish their role as the most important woman in DS's life now and to run their own show. It can cause some hard bumps along the way and I have been through those too and so hurt. Its not much fun. I remember when grandson #3 came along, my DIL had a mid wife who told them that they should post a schedule on the outside of their front door of when they were available and people should come and sign up for visiting times. Most important you should always bring enough food for a meal for the family and don't stay more than 10-15 minutes. Well this didn't sit too well with anyone and suddenly when no one was visiting or coming over they started to call and ask us to come. Sometimes young parents don't know how to filter out the wacko ideas and cling to the ones that will provide a loving warm environment for our little ones to grow up.

I hope your DIL realizes soon that a baby needs their grandparents to provide that sense of continuity and solidarity in their life. It is such a fun moment when the little guys start to figure out family relationships and you tell them you are their daddy's momma. They are amazed that their big strong daddies were ever little.

Love and hugs Robin and don't forget we are all here for you.

Mpyles
February 7th, 2015, 02:17 AM
Welcome back Robin! I was always told grandmas didn't have to follow the rules! ��. Good to see you!!

snippet
February 7th, 2015, 05:36 AM
I am so glad you are checking in Robin! I figured life had taken over and rightly so, that must take priority. I have also learned to 'unplug' when things get overwhelming.

So sorry that you can rock your grandbaby! That would drive me crazy - and I write this as I'm rocking in my recliner! I love rocking, and would rock my grandbabies all day long. Oh, the weird things our kids think.

I can't wait to see your quilts that you've been working on. You do such lovely work.

Andrea F
February 7th, 2015, 08:41 AM
Glad to see you back Robin! As for the rocking, that's the most crazy thing I've ever heard. In my opinion you can't spoil a baby at all and surely not by rocking. What a bull****.

irishrn
February 7th, 2015, 09:41 AM
Welcome back Robin! I'm so sorry to hear that the grand baby has such rigid restrictions. It is the baby that will be without the soothing rocking of their grandma! I'm familiar with the new rules, as DS and DIL were the same way! By the time the third grand arrived, the rules were out the window! I just sit back and wait to be told what I can do! Amazing!!
Come here often for some rocking with us!!

shermur
February 7th, 2015, 10:35 AM
Welcome back, Robin! You were missed! I am so sorry about the "family ordeal"....who ever heard of such a thing of not being allowed to rock your grandchildren? Yikes!

I'm sure you have missed your sewing machine and your creative outflow! Just going away for a weekend makes me cringe anymore!

Juliet Taylor
February 8th, 2015, 07:25 PM
Nice to meet you :)

Lightwriter
February 9th, 2015, 12:31 AM
Hang in there! I honestly do not know where DIL is getting info...I know there has been a lot of research concerning fact rocking is necessary for a baby's development. Here is one short article. Because Babies Grow Up: Physical Friday: Benefits of Rocking (http://becausebabiesgrowup.blogspot.com/2009/05/physical-friday-benefits-of-rocking.html)

The simple pleasure of having baby being held along with soothing motion can offer many benefits. Google it. Sad DIL is not understanding a basc fact of child development. I worked with too many children that did not develop well and did a lot of research on it. Sounds like she does not want to listen, so problem may be with her. Prayers situation will improve.

IBake
February 9th, 2015, 03:01 AM
Because of my severe back issues, my #1DIL didn't even want me to touch the first grandchild. I could hold him if I was seated somewhere that either she or my son could be sitting next to me to catch the child should I happen to "drop" him.

Now #2 DIL is the complete opposite. I could hop on one foot holding the child upside down. Sigh., It's just something that you need to learn to deal with. The relationship has improved with #1 DIL and she has lightened up. I have learned to bite my tongue and smile...I have learned that our DILs are different and we have learned to adapt with/for them.

Good luck!

bscuzz
February 9th, 2015, 03:32 AM
Welcome back Robin . . looking forward to seeing your quilts. I'm too far removed to be up-to-date on what's the latest on child rearing - I've always stuck to the old, tried and true . . . but that's me.

I recall when I had my first baby . . little girl. Both my sisters had little girls, too - all 3 baby girls within 6 months of each other . . . and for those occasions when we'd find ourselves at grandma and granpa's house, we had a rocking chair for each of them (there were already 2 rocking chairs in my parents house 'n when the 3rd baby girl arrived, daddy went out and bought another one). Some of the most memorable times I can recall sittin' and rockin' babies. Matter of fact if I had told my daddy my baby couldn't be rocked, he'd a thrown me out and kept my baby girl!!

Seriously, it's good to walk a fine line to keep peace and stay close with all the grand babies! Good luck till baby's parents gain a little experience, Robin!