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Sandy Navas
December 21st, 2014, 11:24 PM
My mother came from a family of 11 children. For as long as I can remember, we had family reunions every year. I wasn't always able to attend because of timing, etc. Several years ago a second generation started hosting the reunions in a former school house, now a community center. As they aged and the third and fourth and fifth and even the sixth generation came along, the second generation couple threw up their hands and said HELP. But, many of the third, fourth, fifth and sixth Gs didn't even know each other and no one stepped up to take over the job of hosting a pot luck. Those who showed up the last year it was held brought their dishes, everyone sat with families they knew, they ate, threw their paper plates in the trash and left - the clean up was left for the second generation and they were aging and it was getting way too difficult. So the decision was made to stop the reunions.

This week we've had two family reunions - neither was very pleasant. It hurts so much to see our cousins leave this world - especially when they are younger than me. Today it was a second cousin - but her mother has already buried one child - almost two years ago.

I don't need any more family reunions like the past two.

K. McEuen
December 21st, 2014, 11:32 PM
One of the perils of aging. I am friends with my brother in law's younger brother. He is 3 years older than I am and lives in Texas. Richie said to me at my mom's funeral "We need to stop meeting like this. It seems like it's always someone's funeral anymore." It's true, we get so busy in our day to day lives that we don't see friends and family nearly as much as past generations did.

I'm sorry for your loss, Sandy.

BobW
December 21st, 2014, 11:37 PM
My mother came from a family of 11 children. For as long as I can remember, we had family reunions every year. I wasn't always able to attend because of timing, etc. Several years ago a second generation started hosting the reunions in a former school house, now a community center. As they aged and the third and fourth and fifth and even the sixth generation came along, the second generation couple threw up their hands and said HELP. But, many of the third, fourth, fifth and sixth Gs didn't even know each other and no one stepped up to take over the job of hosting a pot luck. Those who showed up the last year it was held brought their dishes, everyone sat with families they knew, they ate, threw their paper plates in the trash and left - the clean up was left for the second generation and they were aging and it was getting way too difficult. So the decision was made to stop the reunions.

This week we've had two family reunions - neither was very pleasant. It hurts so much to see our cousins leave this world - especially when they are younger than me. Today it was a second cousin - but her mother has already buried one child - almost two years ago.

I don't need any more family reunions like the past two.

Sandy,

I so know what you are talking about. We haven't had a family reunion on my mom's side since her mom and brother passed away in 2000 and we haven't had a family reunion on my dad's side since 1969. Many of the cousins don't know each other. The only time my mom's family sees each other is at funerals and on my dad's side they don't even get together for funerals since my dad passed. Of the 40 something nieces and nephews, I'm the only one that went to the last uncles funeral on my dads side.

I don't understand why families don't have reunions anymore. I don't know if it is that we are all more connected via phone and computer.

Sandy, I'm sorry for your loss this week. Take care of yourself.

Sylvia H
December 21st, 2014, 11:40 PM
Very sorry for your losses. Perhaps the idea of a family reunion is not the same for younger generations. I am not sure what will become of our Christmas Eve family gathering once my sister and I can no longer host. It will be up to the next generations to make their way, with or without family ties.

auntiemern
December 21st, 2014, 11:42 PM
Oh honey, so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean though...we lost the last aunt on my dads side last year. I have 3 uncles left on my moms side. That seems to be the only time we see cousins and their families. My SIL lives right behind us, and there are times we will go months without seeing each other. The world has become to busy...but we need to make time for family.

Carrie J
December 21st, 2014, 11:46 PM
Sandy, I am so very sorry for your loss.

And I hear you about "family reunions"............it seems that the "younger" generations aren't quite as interested in the family ties and I blame technology. Easier to send and email, text, FB, etc, etc. Sooooo very much family history has gone by the wayside as a result. There will come a time when they will regret it, but by then, it'll be too late. We too are experiencing a fast dwindling of the family that reunions were the yearly, fun function. I guess most of us have experienced this, and my heart goes out to you and yours.

Amy R
December 21st, 2014, 11:52 PM
I'm sorry Sandy.

I never heard about family reunions until I moved to NC. My family personally has never had one aside from weddings and funerals.

Jean Sewing Machine
December 21st, 2014, 11:52 PM
My husband's family had family reunions. When we attended with his mom, he turned a deaf ear to his mother's running commentary on Who's Who. After she passed away in 1981, we never knew the relatives on his side of the family. We went to one funeral viewing where the only person we knew was the dead guy!

On my side, I have one cousin older than me. If something happens to her, I am the matriarch! How scary is that!

I will say FaceBook has brought me closer to some of my cousins that I never get to visit with! One has a daughter living in Tahiti! When would I ever see her? But now I know her family and she knows who I am. Go ahead, younger generation, leave Facebook for some other "social media du jour", we grannies and Grampies really like it!

bscuzz
December 22nd, 2014, 12:27 AM
Sandy, I'm sorry for your loss of family - I know that hurt and the feeling that family is dwindling. My roots are in NC and I was raised with annual 'Family Reunions' as far back as I can remember. I knew all my many cousins yet probably didn't see some of them much more than once a year. Reunions (from my father's side) are still held each September and since about 2006 MM and I have visited NC primarily for the Reunion. There are fewer cousins each year that I knew and grew up with but there are many attendees. Everybody wears name tags with names of siblings, mother and father, even grandparents sometimes. I enjoy talking to those I don't know to find how we're connected - since they're all related to me. There's also many who do their family's genealogy and hands them out to others there. MM was born and raised in Jersey but there are no Reunions for his families. Maybe it is just more of a Southern thing! MM does enjoy my Reunion and the history that it entails. It's just sad that weddings and funerals are the only times we see our kin anymore. Again,I am really sorry for your loss.

Kgrammiecaz
December 22nd, 2014, 12:29 AM
I loved our family reunions. We still have smaller gatherings. As the families grew, each group starting a tradition in their group. For those we stayed in contact with, we attend theirs, they attend ours. I think reunions still somewhat exist, they are just doing them with their generations and hopefully sometimes inviting us "elders". At least I hope so.

MRoy
December 22nd, 2014, 12:31 AM
I'm sorry for your losses Sandy and I hear you about not liking "those kinds" of family reunions. It seems like the only times I see some relatives is following another relative's passing.

bscuzz
December 22nd, 2014, 12:40 AM
I will say FaceBook has brought me closer to some of my cousins that I never get to visit with! One has a daughter living in Tahiti! When would I ever see her? But now I know her family and she knows who I am. Go ahead, younger generation, leave Facebook for some other "social media du jour", we grannies and Grampies really like it!

Touché, Jean - At my DD's urging a few years ago I joined FB and WOW, what a blessing. I keep in touch with many cousins and their families in NC. I know when new babies are born, their names, even pics of the little cuties - when there are weddings and sad to say when there are deaths. At least it gives me a chance to send cards, whether for the new babies, weddings or deaths. I'd be lost without it.

Grandma Nan
December 22nd, 2014, 12:50 AM
Sandy I am very sorry for your loss over the past week. It is very discouraging to see people neglecting to "get to know" or learn who their extended families are or learning their family histories. As some times in your life you need your family to lean on and it may not always be at funerals. Sometimes our families have connections that can identify jobs, housing etc. I love my cousins and can't imagine my life without them. As I have said on here before i quilt each week with 5 of my 1st cousins who are sisters. I am an honourary sister now. But as important as family is to me, my husband;s family dont spend much time or holidays together. They speak on the phone but my husband does not know his one sisters kids at all. Sad I think.

Annette Ackley
December 22nd, 2014, 01:21 AM
Sorry for your loss Sandy. I know what you are saying about family reunions. Sad to say, I got to see my cousins, Aunts and Uncles, when my Sister passed away 3 years ago. My cousin also said, it is sad that the only time we see each other is when someone in the family passes. We now keep in touch through phone calls or face book. Face book is good for some things, especially when your own kids don't call for a while. They are usually posting something on there!!!

snippet
December 22nd, 2014, 03:02 AM
We haven't had a family reunion in ages for the same reason Sandy. It's sad. Some of the cousins used to get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but now most of the cousins are grandparents and so they have their own holiday get togethers. I will go to a cousin's home who invites me, but it is her family only. I miss the great times we had before. But as the family grows, the branches grow away from the main tree and they don't know the other branches.

Jean, I use FB for getting to know my cousins and their kids too. It's a great way to see and meet them.

Gina
December 22nd, 2014, 03:23 AM
Sorry for your loss, Sandy! We used to have reunions all the time. Now the only time most of us get together is Labor Day. Then it is just the ones I see all the time anyway. There was a lot of hurt feelings four years ago when my Aunt (my second mother) passed. It is sad really...we all used to be close!

GuitarGramma
December 22nd, 2014, 03:48 AM
Oh Sandy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your commentary brought to mind a comment my DD#3 made. She was musing on how important it is to keep in touch with your cousins when you're all adults. If you don't make an effort, she said, you'll never see each other. Your post brought that home in a very dramatic way.

My condolences, good friend.

lapeoples
December 22nd, 2014, 05:50 AM
So sorry, sending good wishes your way.

Monique
December 22nd, 2014, 07:44 AM
Sandy, so sorry for your loss.

Cathy F
December 22nd, 2014, 08:38 AM
Sandy, I'm very sorry for your loss. My mother was an only child and when she passed away 6 years ago I became the oldest living member of my family. It's not a title most people fight for. We've never had a family reunion, it'just me, my sister, and brother.

Klasien
December 22nd, 2014, 08:46 AM
Oh Sandy I am so sorry for your loss!
Hang in there and don't forget to take care of your self.

Love XOXOXO

Andrea F
December 22nd, 2014, 09:00 AM
Dear Sandy, I am so sorry for your loss.

We don't have familiy reunions, never had them. There are some aunts and one uncle on my side of the family but we have never been close to them. The same for DH's family. My in-laws talk about relatives when we visit them, but I don't know many of them. We haven't seen or spoken to DH's sister in years.
I have three sisters and we are close and I see them pretty often. The thing making everything complicated is that DS#1 is not related to DS#2 and DS#3 (my mother's and father's second marriages). Our parents have all passed away and at the last funeral I felt like I am the next in the row because I am the oldest of us girls.

shirleyknot
December 22nd, 2014, 09:14 AM
With so many people "living together", splitting up and moving on to another "live together", and all of the divorces and remarries, I think the whole sense of family is evaporating. A lot of young people can't remember WHO they are related to.

CarolynK
December 22nd, 2014, 09:20 AM
Very sorry for your loss this week, Sandy. Hugs.

songbird857
December 22nd, 2014, 09:27 AM
Sandy,
So sorry for your loss. We have only had a smattering of family reunions - I think the last one was 5 or 6 years ago. I come from a very strange (read, detached) family indeed. I am the youngest of 6 and rarely see my siblings - sad but true. Not for lack of inviting.... just weird.
On the upside, that really caused me to emphasize to my 2 girls that they have each other, and sometimes only each other, so they'd better make it work (we homeschooled, so they were around each other all the time). They are polar opposites in some ways, similar in others, fight at times, but they are super close and love each other - I'm blessed to be able to say that.

Eriepatch
December 22nd, 2014, 09:50 AM
Sandy, I'm sorry for your loss.

Mpyles
December 22nd, 2014, 09:57 AM
Sandy, sorry for your loss. Crazy how this busy world has separated families anymore. We reignited our summer reunion this past year...it was a lot of work for my brother and I...but it was so worth it. Yesterday we had our family Christmas...crowded crowded crowed...but we set the plan in motion for the summer 2015 gathering!

MayinJerset
December 22nd, 2014, 10:04 AM
Sandy, So sad to lose another family member.

I've also lamented that most of our younger generation, my granddaughters or nieces and nephews, haven't taken over family reunions or get togethers. It's not because they don't have the money or space for them or can't organize a meeting just seems a lack of interest. That's why I'm glad my sisters and brother keep in touch and get together a few times a year with some of our children and grandchildren, also am close with several cousins and in that way keep in touch with all of their families. Of course there are some who just seem to disappear from our lives when their parents pass, we've tried to keep up contact with DB#2's only child, nephew Carl, but he never responds. He did Friend me on Facebook so maybe he does have a bit of interest. Who knows?

So please enjoy those who are here now and ring in the fast approaching New Year with Love and Sharing and maybe plans for a family reunion in 2015.

lourixe
December 22nd, 2014, 12:14 PM
Sandy, I'm sorry for your loss. Cousins are also very important for me, I don't know I would have coped through some moments in my life without them. And hopefully it's going to survive at least one more generation in my family.
I don't think it is a matter of generations, though: in DH's family they have never been interested in reunions and he doesn't know half of his cousins, and purposedly avoids meeting some of the other half.

BellasQuilts
December 22nd, 2014, 01:17 PM
Sandy, sorry to hear of your loss. My dad's side still has family reunions, but I can never make them (money, distance, etc.) Wish I could go though; I'd love to see the cousins. I agree that technology has taken over; all things have their positives and negatives, I guess. But sending you a cyber hug as you have your family here with us; but I know you know that! Merry Christmas, hon.