View Full Version : Do you ever just wonder?

December 4th, 2014, 09:45 PM
I had a heart attach going on three years ago. I worked for a while after, but just couldn't keep up with things and the responsibilities. I had to go to the pharmacy today, and my former neighbor is the pharmacy manager. She came over and waited on me.

I asked if her daughter and her family made it in (her daughter and son-in-law are both in the Navy) for Thanksgiving and Mary Ann said no, I guess you haven't heard. I told he I guess I hadn't. She said on the day before Thanksgiving her 32 year old SIL who ran several miles every day came home at lunch complaining of indigestion. About an hour later he collapsed and her daughter started CPR. The ambulance got there and continued CPR and could not resuscitate him. They have an 18 month old baby.

Why does someone who is basically young and in seeming good health with so much to live for drop dead and someone like me that has multiple health issues have a silent heart attack at work and go home and stay in bed for four days before going to the doctor to find out I'd had a heart attack? There probably isn't a good answer for this, but it sure bothers me. I don't have a young child and I'm single, I would hope there would be people who would miss me, but I don't see it being the tragedy that this young mans death is.

I'm sorry for posting such a depressing thread, but I just needed to share with someone. Thanks for listening.

December 4th, 2014, 09:52 PM
You just have to wonder some times. So sad for the family. But we would miss you too Bob.

Jean Sewing Machine
December 4th, 2014, 09:54 PM
That is such a sad story, Bob. Makes you wonder sometimes, so true.

Miss Sheri
December 4th, 2014, 09:55 PM
Dear Bob,
I feel your sadness and frustration. It is so hard when the young die, leaving so much of life unfinished. I was truly sorry to hear of your friend's loss. But, friend, please know with no uncertainty, YOU WOULD BE MISSED TOO! You also 'matter' to many people, including many of us here on the forum.

Hugs for your sorrow,
Miss Sheri

Sandy Navas
December 4th, 2014, 10:14 PM
Many years ago I worked for an oncologist, typing his medical reports to keep the money flowing while I was in college. I'll never forget the day he told me that I'd live to a ripe old age. I questioned him about it and he told me I was 'plum rotten' and since he dealt with serious illness and death all the time, he knew that the good die young and I was too blasted ornery to have any further calling.

It always saddens me when the young, vibrant beings leave this earth so quickly. Why did two beautiful young children lose their lives in the school bus crash Tuesday? We don't know anything about life, do we?

Carrie J
December 4th, 2014, 10:29 PM
Bob, it's always so very tragic and hard to understand when young folks pass so unexpectedly. The only way I can make it make sense to me is the time worn phrase,"No man shall know". My heart goes out to you and your friend's untimely loss, and cyber hugs as well.

December 4th, 2014, 10:45 PM
What a sad story......I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.

Simply Quilting
December 4th, 2014, 11:31 PM
I have no answers for you of why. We had a couple of young gentleman in our community who died of heart attacks here a couple years ago. They were way too young - both had children at home. Since then we have had a few more young people loose their lives to heart attacks.

Bob, you would be missed.

December 4th, 2014, 11:35 PM
That is so sad. I have often wondered why such things happen. Why do young parents get taken away from their children, or why do children get taken away from their parents. I have no real idea why, but I like to think that God needs all kinds in Heaven. So sorry for your friends loss.

December 4th, 2014, 11:38 PM
Bob, first you are a wonderful person and if you were not here, you would be missed terribly. Why we lose people at a young age, I can't answer that. It is very sad indeed, but we cannot take away from others their destiny. Some believe in a great Plan, others that we have this life only. I prefer to let these situations sink in and ask am I doing all that I should and need to be doing in this life? Maybe you are here to help that family; maybe not. You too have a unique path to walk as do I. Sending you a big cyber hug, honey!

December 5th, 2014, 12:02 AM
I think it means you still have work to do here on Earth.
There are people whose lives you will touch that you may
never know in what way.
Things like this should make us all more aware of how fleeting
life is and we should strive to make the most of each day.

Claire OneStitchAtATime
December 5th, 2014, 12:39 AM
Bob, I'm glad you're with us. But I do wish this young man, and all our young people, were with us too.

December 5th, 2014, 01:08 AM
Firstly we thank God that you are well,prayers for the family of this young man God's Will will be done
Thank you for sharing and there is always someone listeningxxxx

December 5th, 2014, 03:30 AM
Bob, the short answer is, I have no idea. I survived colorectal cancer several years ago. How come I survived and so many do not? I have no idea.

BUT... I do believe there IS an answer, that God has you and me here for a reason. I'm okay with not knowing the reason, but I am convinced that it's important that as long as I am here, I choose to be grateful.

Count me among those who would miss you if you were not here, my friend. And I'm so sorry for your friend's loss.

December 5th, 2014, 04:14 AM
Bob, there can never be too many kind hearted people like you here on Earth. We can only hope there is peace ahead for all who are grieving, today and every day.

December 5th, 2014, 04:16 AM
So sad when children die before their parents. Last year DS#1's wife passed at age 56 and her mother and I wondered why we're both here and not her. I've lost 2 younger brothers to heart attacks and 3rd brother had a silent heart attack like you did. He's doing well because unlike the other 2 he followed doctor's orders. All I can say we need to celebrate our time with our families and friends and do as much good as we can. I think all of us here accomplish that through our quilts so maybe that's our mission in life. Bob, I know we all cherish counting you among our friends and am glad you are here with us.

Saying a prayer for your friend's daughter and grandchild - especially sad at this time of the year when we're thinking of sharing time and gifts with our families and knowing their holidays are marred forever with that young man's death.

December 5th, 2014, 05:35 AM
Deep thoughts. It doesn't always make sense.

I bet Inez is glad you survived, and we would be less for not having met you.

Since we do not know the number of our days, it is a good reminder to make the best of the one we were given today.

May peace settle over you and the family of your friend. It is a hard loss, and not an easy one to accept.

December 5th, 2014, 07:43 AM
I have pondered this myself over the years and of course, there is no answer to this question, at least none of us have it. But it is a good reminder that life is uncertain and we should enjoy every day that have here on this earth. Hugs!

December 5th, 2014, 08:26 AM
(((((BOB))))) no words, just hugs, honey

Amy R
December 5th, 2014, 11:11 AM
I've also wondered why young people are taken too early (in our eyes). Babies, children, young adults. Whatever the answer is it's never easy and crushing devastation to the survivors.
Your life isn't any less valued though, you've brought joy to many people, especially Inez and your group of friends. I am just getting to know you, and quite enjoy your posts. Your personality comes through. I know you're feeling down and when we hear of such things we wonder why not me?
Chipper up new friend, you still have life left here.

December 5th, 2014, 12:58 PM
We may never know who we touch in our lives.

Twelve years ago my husband had a heart attack and his doctor told him "God has something special for you to do that you have not done yet. There is no way you should have made it."

Four years later our oldest grand-daughter had premature twins at age 15. We almost lost all three. My husband asked that very question, "Why them? Why not me? She has her whole life to live, I have already lived."

Let me tell you,those girls are Papa"s. If they have a broken toy, its Papa who can fix it. They won"t even let us try. They live in our rental house two blocks away and they will run all the way to have him fix it or show them how. When he is feeling bad they wait on him hand and foot. There is such a bond between them.

All my family say "They are the reason he is still here. God knew they needed his guiding hand."
We just never know. There is a reason and someone still needs you.

December 5th, 2014, 01:14 PM
I have wondered that too, Bob and don't have an answer, but I do think you would be missed terribly.

December 5th, 2014, 01:39 PM
I think it's a question we all ask when this type of tragedy happens. I try not to dwell on these things because there is so much in life that can't be explained. All we can do is be thankful for every day we have and sympathize with those who aren't as fortunate.

It makes me sad to think you feel that no one would miss you. Considering what I know of you from reading your posts here on the Forum, I'm sure you would be missed, Bob.

December 5th, 2014, 01:47 PM
Some things are not to be understood and are best left in God's hands. I am the sole survivor of my entire family (other than my daughter and her two kids). I have often wondered why me. Bob, you would be seriously missed if you weren't here. It's amazing how woven together we are as people even though most of us have not physically met each other. Know you that hold a special place in our hearts.

December 6th, 2014, 09:07 PM
It is so tragic when this happens Bob. Each life is so precious and can contribute something, even if it is a good thought about someone, or a prayer or a smile. So when we lose someone that it seems there is no explanation for we feel helpless and a little guilty I think. Life can be so paradoxical and tragic, but is also can be joyous and fulfilling. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other each day and hold us all in hope and joyful expectation of the next day. Be Well, Stay Well.

December 6th, 2014, 09:41 PM
I, of course, don't have the answer either but I do know one thing - you would be greatly missed Bob.
I, too, know many young people that have passed on too soon and even though we do question why, we will never know.

December 6th, 2014, 10:33 PM
20 years ago my hubby has his first heart attack-and only one so far. He was running 35-40 miles a day, his bp was fine, so was cholesterol....the cardiologist said that he just had bad family genes....he is still with us, and for that I give thanks as he helps me so much since my back surgeries.... I tell him he is still here for all of the scouts that he supports and represents and counsels. Craig is a 57 year active Boy Scout...and will go down with his Scout uniform on I am sure.

For each of us a time and for every time a season.....I just continue to offer thanks for those we have with us. Craig's GM said that God never intended you to bury your children. She buried three of her 4 until she passed at 102.5 yrs.

December 6th, 2014, 10:43 PM
Bob, first of all you would be missed greatly here if something happened to you. Six years ago, DH's twin brother collapsed at church and died within 3 hours. He was 54 years old and there was no warning or sign of a problem beforehand. I think a part of my DH died that day too. God's plan is not always for us to understand, but it's so sad when that plan involves the death of a young person.

December 6th, 2014, 11:47 PM
Thank every one for the beautiful comments. I still don't know why this bothered me so very much, I had never met my friends SIL, but I think time makes things easier to handle and accept. I understand there are people who would miss me, but I think the thing that got me was that he had a young child who needs him, and I don't. Someone told me that I'm reacting based on emotions of my own health and situation.

Again, thanks to everyone for allowing me to vent and wallow in my emotions.