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Elliegirl
July 16th, 2014, 09:08 AM
Do you get along with your sister(s)? I am the youngest of three. My oldest is 11 years older and then the next is 21 months older. That particular sister drives me absolutely crazy. We live in different cities and over the years when I have gone to mostly visit my mother we stay at a motel. The routine is usually go visit my mother and have dinner with my sister and BIL, and do whatever else we had planned. It's usually 1-2 nights we stay. Since April I have been going on a monthly basis and staying at her house. I spend one night at her house, visit my mother, then drive another 4 hours to visit my daughters and grandkids, then head back. She's a halfway point between where I live and where my kids live. Over the years when we go out to eat she has always picked the restaurant, whether we like it or not. She never asks. She's very rigid in her routine and lifestyle. Friday I'm going back to see my mom and staying at her house. Originally she was going to go to the baseball game with her husband, they have tickets for 5 games. I just thought "Fine, I'll see if J (my nephew) wants to go watch the game at Buffalo Wild Wings and grab something to eat." We've done this before. Then my sister told me she gave her ticket to her son and she and I could go eat and go shopping. I HATE shopping for clothes and the place she wants to eat is outside, or a musty old building inside and I have severe asthma. I told her no, I wanted to go watch the game at Buffalo Wild Wings. She was almost hyperventilating at that idea. She said she and her husband never go to sports bars, that they go eat and then watch the game from home. If the game is on where they eat they'll watch it, but they never go to sports bars. She just kept repeating that and she was seriously almost hyperventilating. I suggested this bar/grill they like going to for dinner, which is actually a sports bar. BTW they eat out every night! Two days later she was still pushing to go to the outside/musty place. We finally agreed that we'll go to the sports bar she and her husband eat at sometimes. My daughters hadn't been to visit my mom in two years and when they came in for her birthday one of the first things they said was they didn't want to go eat at the "usual" spots my sister goes to, so it's not just me! She's my sister, I love her, but she makes me absolutely crazy!!

Sylvia H
July 16th, 2014, 09:24 AM
You ended with " I love her, but she makes me absolutely crazy!!", and I think that pretty well sums up many family relationships! I totally agree with your decision to not go to a restaurant that would aggravate your asthma. I don't expect her to change, but please continue to give her your opinions about dining out and what activities you do together. Eventually she should stop hyperventilating!

Sandy Navas
July 16th, 2014, 10:43 AM
Only one sister here - she's 23 months younger than me and she is my best friend ever!! Love her to pieces for oh, so many, many reasons.

Pandabear
July 16th, 2014, 10:48 AM
I have one sister. She's my best friend and I couldn't live without her. Love her to pieces.

MayinJerset
July 16th, 2014, 10:51 AM
You had a bit of hope for a better trip as she and DH had tickets but she's not to be fiddled with so she'll be with you the whole time. Maybe if you try to keep in mind the better times you'll have visiting other family members on this trip and she's just a necessary stop along the way. Do you stop at her house on your way back? If so, then my advice won't work. So sad that some people live such rigid lives.

I'm the oldest of 7, 4 girls. One sister had problems and created many problems for the entire family. Like you, we loved our sister but dealing with her made for much unhappiness. Sadly she passed away about 7 years ago, we miss her and the few good times we all had together and put the bad ones away. I'm 14 and 15 years older than my younger sisters and we get along fine, one is my quilting pal - nothing like quilting to create closeness. Although I'm much older than them I don't pull rank, at 63 and 64 they certainly know how to run their own lives by now.

PS: Good thing I edited this posting, the spell check had changed rigid lives to livid lives. LOL!

Tina W
July 16th, 2014, 11:35 AM
I have 3 sister's love them all to death. One of my sister's came from SC. last week we all had a great time. I really miss her since she left. Having sister's are the bomb. We did have a big brother but he passed away about 14 years ago, still miss him like crazy. Everyone have a good day.

Liberty
July 16th, 2014, 12:17 PM
I have one sister 19 months older. We don't really have a lot in common, I'm a homesteading quilter, she's a city girl traveler... but we love each other.

Have you tried asking for a compromise? Not the musty place, but not a sports bar either?

sassygranny
July 16th, 2014, 12:25 PM
I have a Crazy Love relationship with my sister, too. I think it's pretty common. Hang in there. I think it's worth it in the long run. :)

hookedonfabric
July 16th, 2014, 12:58 PM
I feel so blessed, I am number 6 of 10 children and we all get along. I have 4 sisters and we are best friends. Three of my sisters and I have a get away twice each year, just an overnight - shopping/dinner and pj party. My youngest sister (10 years younger than me) and I are the fabric/quilting fanatics.

yoyoing
July 16th, 2014, 01:13 PM
well at least you have a sister that cares abiut you and talks to you my sister hates me and she is suppose to be my big sister. She is my only sister but she has never liked me in all our years

Elliegirl
July 16th, 2014, 01:14 PM
I have one sister 19 months older. We don't really have a lot in common, I'm a homesteading quilter, she's a city girl traveler... but we love each other.

Have you tried asking for a compromise? Not the musty place, but not a sports bar either?

I'm going to talk to her about from now on we go out to eat, just us, no men. That way we can have sister time. One time I pick and the time she does, but it has to be healthy for me. I'm sure she'll be fine with it!

MayinJerset
July 16th, 2014, 01:35 PM
Ellie, Great Idea.

Carol336
July 16th, 2014, 01:36 PM
I am the middle sister of 5 girls,,,no brothers. We are all best friends. We lost out oldest sister 18 months ago and we still cry whenever we get together because of the whole her passing has left in our lives. We have been taking a yearly, sometimes twice yearly, weekend getaway since our children were young - at least 40 years....and our rule has always been "no husbands, no children". I hope you can reach a good understanding with your Sis....life is just too darned short...savor every moment you get to spend with her!!!

bubba
July 16th, 2014, 01:36 PM
There are five girls in my family, no brothers. I have not talked to the youngest one or her husband in over ten years and doubt I ever will again. I get along with the other three, but the one before me is the one I get along best with. The oldest one is quite opinionated and the fourth one, the one after me is somewhat crazy and it's everyone else's fault!

MRoy
July 16th, 2014, 02:13 PM
My only sister passed away 2 years ago. I wish she was still here to get on my nerves sometimes.

auntiemern
July 16th, 2014, 02:47 PM
I am the 2nd oldest of 5 girls. My older sister and I have always has a volatile relationship. The 2 younger ones I helped raise. The middle sis and I got along fine for the most part. But boy howdy when my mom was dieing everything changed. Rhonda and I were the 2 she trusted the most, and therefore gave us power of attorney over everything, and made us the decision makers of her living will. The last 24 hrs were a nightmare. (thank God mom was in a coma)My older sister and the middle sis were throwing fits over everything. Her arrangements had already been made, per her request. But no they wanted things differently. Mostly over things that mom wanted to be buried with. It may sound unimportant to some, but to my mom they were the 'things' she loved the most. So Rhonda and I followed moms wishes to the letter, and have since been ostricized by the older and middle sis, and their kids, because they didn't 'get back' the things they gave her and she wanted to be buried with. It breaks my heart, some of the the things that have been said and done to me, but it is all on them, and I can sleep with a clear conscience. I know who and what I am, and if they see me in a different light, oh well....I am not going to lose sleep over their misconceptions.

Elliegirl
July 16th, 2014, 03:07 PM
My only sister passed away 2 years ago. I wish she was still here to get on my nerves sometimes.

I understand what you're saying. I lost my father in 1969 when I was 17. So I know loss. This sister is very, very rigid and usually it's about what she wants, not what others wasn't. Four years ago our mother, at the age of 95, was going in for colon cancer surgery. All of us were in town and going out to eat. My mom's favorite place to eat was an Italian restaurant, about 30-35 miles from my sister's house. I drove in 4.5 hours and my oldest sister took a 3 hour flight in. This particular sister & I got into an argument because I wanted us to eat at my mom's favorite restaurant. She wanted to eat closer to her house, one of the three restaurants she goes to. I told her this wasn't about her but about our mom because this most likely be the last time she would go there. She finally agreed and it was my mom's last time there. She's just too frail to go out anymore, at the age of 99.

Familyjournals
July 16th, 2014, 03:32 PM
Sisters..... I have two. I'm the oldest and love those two gals so very much. We are all extremely different from each other, one is serious, bossy and critical and the other has the most interesting corny sense of humor. I think the bossy one is upset that she wasn't the oldest so I just smile and let her boss, and I do what I want. My goal is to get her to lighten up and enjoy life. That youngest one is just a big clown. She cracks me up.

I enjoy their uniqueness. Life is so short, I try to find common ground with them both when things seem to be going in opposite directions.

I have a tons of sons and they are all very different from each other. I encouraged them to be their own individual selves and that is what they have become. They make each other crazy but in the end they are all "bros". We need to be more like that.... just let things go and love them for who they are.

Familyjournals
July 16th, 2014, 03:36 PM
I understand what you're saying. I lost my father in 1969 when I was 17. So I know loss. This sister is very, very rigid and usually it's about what she wants, not what others wasn't. Four years ago our mother, at the age of 95, was going in for colon cancer surgery. All of us were in town and going out to eat. My mom's favorite place to eat was an Italian restaurant, about 30-35 miles from my sister's house. I drove in 4.5 hours and my oldest sister took a 3 hour flight in. This particular sister & I got into an argument because I wanted us to eat at my mom's favorite restaurant. She wanted to eat closer to her house, one of the three restaurants she goes to. I told her this wasn't about her but about our mom because this most likely be the last time she would go there. She finally agreed and it was my mom's last time there. She's just too frail to go out anymore, at the age of 99.

Don't you find that the cause of most of our conflicts is because of selfishness? A selfish person can really make it hard for all of those concerned.

MartinaG
July 16th, 2014, 03:44 PM
It is perfectly acceptable to love someone and have them drive you nuts at the same time. I have that kind of a relationship with a sister-friend. I have traveled with her twice and each time turned into a fiasco. The last time she asked me to go with her I told her that I love her dearly but that we do not make good traveling companions. So no, I will not be going with her again. Good luck working things out with your sister. I think it is OK to stand up for yourself. If the place she wants to go makes you unhappy, then maybe it is time to find a new place. If she is inflexible and won't change, then you could make arrangements to meet up AFTER dinner.

Iris Girl
July 16th, 2014, 04:10 PM
I have no sisters and have mixed opinions as to whether I am glad or sad. Hubby has 1 sister and If I had a sister like her shed be dead or I'd be in an asylum. Greed what it does to family especially when one is dying ..sickens me. I watched hubbys sister , lie , cheat , steal , throw her hubby under the bus etc just to look like a rose and get the lions share of inheritance. LOL I always said I was born poor, will die poor and nothing to be ashamed of.

Elliegirl
July 16th, 2014, 04:36 PM
Don't you find that the cause of most of our conflicts is because of selfishness? A selfish person can really make it hard for all of those concerned.

Definitely! She is a very selfish person. She & her DH don't have college degrees or had high paying jobs. They are both retired. She has diamond rings for each finger, diamond necklaces & watches, still gets her mani-pedi and they have to take money out of their 401K monthly. I know we have the same parents but we are so completely opposite! Except for the fact that we are sisters we ha e nothing in common. But she's my sister and has never been mean or cruel. She's selfish and stubborn.

K. McEuen
July 16th, 2014, 05:49 PM
Definitely! She is a very selfish person. She & her DH don't have college degrees or had high paying jobs. They are both retired. She has diamond rings for each finger, diamond necklaces & watches, still gets her mani-pedi and they have to take money out of their 401K monthly. I know we have the same parents but we are so completely opposite! Except for the fact that we are sisters we ha e nothing in common. But she's my sister and has never been mean or cruel. She's selfish and stubborn.

I had to laugh, I have a huge sapphire ring and a really pretty diamond circle necklace that my sister gave me. She was leaving them to me in her will and when she added me to the signature card on her safe deposit box she just got them out and said "You might as well have them now, I don't wear them."

I have 2 sisters and one brother, all older than I am. The oldest sister, it always seems like someone wasn't getting along with her. She was the b!tch of the family when she was younger. I think since I'm the youngest I always got along with all of them, and was sort of the peace-keeper. She is 11 years older than I am and I talk more to her than the other two. They all live in Texas and I'm in New Mexico.

BTW, on some 401K account, after a certain amount of time, or age, you have to start drawing from them monthly. I can't remember the requirements, but she has to start tapping into one of hers this September even though she doesn't need the income.

Elliegirl
July 16th, 2014, 07:04 PM
I had to laugh, I have a huge sapphire ring and a really pretty diamond circle necklace that my sister gave me. She was leaving them to me in her will and when she added me to the signature card on her safe deposit box she just got them out and said "You might as well have them now, I don't wear them."

I have 2 sisters and one brother, all older than I am. The oldest sister, it always seems like someone wasn't getting along with her. She was the b!tch of the family when she was younger. I think since I'm the youngest I always got along with all of them, and was sort of the peace-keeper. She is 11 years older than I am and I talk more to her than the other two. They all live in Texas and I'm in New Mexico.

BTW, on some 401K account, after a certain amount of time, or age, you have to start drawing from them monthly. I can't remember the requirements, but she has to start tapping into one of hers this September even though she doesn't need the income.

It's 70 1/2 that money has to be withdrawn. We just added to our vacation account. My sister will be 64 in September and her DH is 68. They need the money each month to make ends meet. I cannot imagine how much they have to pay in taxes!

K. McEuen
July 16th, 2014, 07:08 PM
It's 70 1/2 that money has to be withdrawn. We just added to our vacation account. My sister will be 64 in September and her DH is 68. They need the money each month to make ends meet. I cannot imagine how much they have to pay in taxes!

Ah, my sister will be 67 in September and has to start drawing from one of hers. Like I said, don't know if it is because of age or how much is in there or how it is set up, but she has to start that one monthly. The other one she doesn't have to.

kensington
July 16th, 2014, 07:32 PM
NO COMMENT. :icon_hi:

Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 07:46 PM
I don't have any sisters or brothers and no original family at all. Make up and talk to each other. That's all I can say. It will be too late some day.

lourixe
July 16th, 2014, 08:11 PM
My sister is 5 years younger than me and I love her a lot, but we wouldn't be able to live together. She is kind of rigid and bossy, but nothing too bad except she doesn't like my DH. When both are present, I'm always under pressure and my anxiety gets out of control. So I usually try to meet her without hubby, and we are in contact all the time via telephone or texting.

Cat77
July 16th, 2014, 08:25 PM
I don't have a sister so I can't really join the discussion. I have a brother though and we are very different people. We used to fight when we were younger, now not so much. He definitely is a good guy, just, you know, we don't have much in common. What is funny though is that I get along very well with his wife, because we do actually have quiet a few things in common! :icon_heh:

But reading some of your posts makes me wonder what they would say about their sisters...*lol*

Slokarma
July 16th, 2014, 09:10 PM
I miss my sister.

Sherri6474
July 16th, 2014, 11:48 PM
I have only one sibling, my sister, and she is 6 years younger than me. She is super smart, been in the Army for 22+ years. I love her dearly but we are not as close as I wish we could be. We are both so different. My daughters are 8 1/2 years apart and are not close at all. I know they love each other, but they are as different in personalities as night is from day.

PeggyM
July 16th, 2014, 11:59 PM
Sooo sorry! My sis and I are exactly 11 months apart. If she wanted to go to a restaurant that only served dirt, that's where we would go. She would reciprocate. We are completely different people, and compromise accordingly.

Carol336
July 17th, 2014, 01:50 AM
Make up and talk to each other. That's all I can say. It will be too late some day.

The wisest words spoken on this subject.

stationarymom
July 17th, 2014, 02:27 AM
I have 2 sisters don't have great relationships with either.one sister is 18 months younger than me and the youngest is 7 years younger than me.My closest sister in age had problems her whole life also,I even ended up raising her son that certainly did not create a great situation for us she hated me then.My youngest sister I swear fell off of a different planet than the rest of us,we just don't understand each other that well.

easyquilts
July 17th, 2014, 06:04 AM
I am very fortunate.... My sister was born two weeks before my twelfth birthday.... We are best friends, and keep in close contact with each other.....she lives in Cleveland, and I live in Cincinnati...... Our kids know that if they don't want one sister to know something ... don't tell the other one..... Once we were both married, the difference in our ages melted away......

Becky and I could easily live together...... We both think so.... Love my sister to bits and pieces....

irishrn
July 17th, 2014, 09:27 AM
I am one of 6 children 3 boys/3 girls. Oldest is deceased many years now. I only have contact with one younger brother and that has only been for the past 3 years. The other brother has completely disappeared! Wants no contact with anyone. My two sisters are both mean spirited and have always enjoyed wrecking havoc wherever they go! I don't have time for mean people I my life! So I invest in my DH and children and grandchildren while enjoying the company of many good long lasting friendships!
I don't believe in surrounding myself with people who cannot be kind to one another!!

Elliegirl
July 17th, 2014, 01:10 PM
The wisest words spoken on this subject.
You know I get that! I really get that. Twenty-seven years ago today I was being pulled from my minivan by jaws of life after being hit by a service van and a 10-ton truck. SHE doesn't get it.

Elliegirl
July 17th, 2014, 01:14 PM
I am one of 6 children 3 boys/3 girls. Oldest is deceased many years now. I only have contact with one younger brother and that has only been for the past 3 years. The other brother has completely disappeared! Wants no contact with anyone. My two sisters are both mean spirited and have always enjoyed wrecking havoc wherever they go! I don't have time for mean people I my life! So I invest in my DH and children and grandchildren while enjoying the company of many good long lasting friendships!
I don't believe in surrounding myself with people who cannot be kind to one another!!

I completely agree! That's the way I feel. But if I want to visit my mother she's part of the trip. I usually don't see her this much. I had back surgery six months ago and it's easier on my back taking two 4 hour trips than one long 7 1/2 hour trip. I'm already committed for August. I'm hoping by September I can handle the long drive. But then that means I won't see my mom as much.

Elliegirl
July 17th, 2014, 01:17 PM
I am very fortunate.... My sister was born two weeks before my twelfth birthday.... We are best friends, and keep in close contact with each other.....she lives in Cleveland, and I live in Cincinnati...... Our kids know that if they don't want one sister to know something ... don't tell the other one..... Once we were both married, the difference in our ages melted away......

Becky and I could easily live together...... We both think so.... Love my sister to bits and pieces....

You are fortunate. My oldest sister is 11 years older than me and I was born on her birthday. She held a grudge against my mother and me, that I interfered with her birthday, until about 8-10 years ago and she is 73!!

WendyI
July 17th, 2014, 01:36 PM
I have three sisters. We have different mothers and they are much younger than me at 36, 33 and 29. I am 48. I love them all equally but certainly am closest with the youngest of the three. The other two are VERY self-absorbed which ends up being hurtful. They are neglectful as well of their sisters. But they are close to each other. I love them all equally as tho they were my own children...although there are times when we argue...I would be devastated if anything happened to any of them. The oldest is the one getting married and I am over-the-moon happy for her, as long as she is happy. Sisters are awesome but having them so far away (1400 kms) is not fun. :(

K. McEuen
July 17th, 2014, 01:52 PM
I have three sisters. We have different mothers

No no no, you got it wrong! It's "brother from another mother" and "sister from another mister!" :icon_heh:

SallyO'Sews
July 17th, 2014, 04:38 PM
I have two sisters, both older than I. We all live in different parts of the country. We all love one another, but DS1 and I are close, while DS2 and I are not (DS2 is also not close to DS1). DS1 and I share a common faith and mostly common worldviews. DS2 is a professional activist for causes in which she believes (i.e. she is on staff at an organization), but which I do not espouse. When we see each other, we purposely keep the conversation light and talk about our children and what they've been up to (i.e. no religion or politics - :icon_shake: ). Works for us. I pray for her regularly, and am thankful that I am able to see her once a year or so.

My extended family is planning a reunion next year; I'm of two minds about going. My uncle, the only surviving member of my parents' generation, has expressed his hope that I will attend, so I think I will probably try; I will have to fly, and it will be very expensive. That's one hurdle. The other is that one branch of the family is very politically active and all lean to one end of the political spectrum; the other branch is not as involved, but equally opinionated in the other direction. So as long as we cannot see the news while we're there, it should be a fun time. :D :icon_rolleyes: Gotta' love your family - 'cause it's possible no one else will! :lol:

Amy R
July 17th, 2014, 06:21 PM
I do have a sister, she's two years younger than me. We didn't get along that great when we were kids, she's very type A and I am just the opposite. Over the years I realized our personality differences and try to remain understanding when that type a and ocd go overboard lol. She also has a very sarcastic sense of humor which I have had to get used to as well. Through it all we are a lot closer especially after the birth of my little one 2 years ago.
Above all they are family sometimes we love them, sometimes we wonder how we can be related. Sometimes we can be loving in the same place or from a distance only.

Sandy Navas
July 17th, 2014, 08:41 PM
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. Likewise, you can't pick your family. But, love them you should and must . . .

Lilyjo
July 18th, 2014, 09:30 AM
I have three sisters I haven't seen for years, and that's great by me.

Quiltfreestyle
July 18th, 2014, 10:37 AM
I have one sister, 18 month younger than me. We fought as kids do when we were young, but if anyone outside the family tried to pick on us, we would close ranks & stick together. My sister is smart, very opinionated, adventurous, fearless & strong. She has so many health problems but she won't let it get to her. She just keeps on doing what she wants to do, I really admire her..
I moved out when I was 18 & the rest of the family moved back East I stayed in California. I missed her a lot & once we both got married & started having kids we got closer emotionally although our personalities are totally opposite. I regret that we don't get to see each other as much as I would like, usually only once every couple of years. One big sadness for me is that my sister lost her best friend last year, this friend was like another sister.
Now that I am getting closer to retirement I hope to travel & spend more time with her.

klgls
July 18th, 2014, 10:48 AM
I have 3 sisters, 1 older and 2 younger. There is only 5 years between the oldest and youngest. We have a blast when we get together. My oldest sister lives nearby and she quilts also, so we spend a lot of time together. The other two live in different states, but we talk to each other at least once a week.
Here we are several years ago - love my sisters!!!
82276

WendyI
July 18th, 2014, 12:58 PM
I have 3 sisters, 1 older and 2 younger. There is only 5 years between the oldest and youngest. We have a blast when we get together. My oldest sister lives nearby and she quilts also, so we spend a lot of time together. The other two live in different states, but we talk to each other at least once a week.
Here we are several years ago - love my sisters!!!
82276

What a lovely pic of you all! I can't wait to get some great pics of my family at the wedding. So seldom that we are all together at the same time. I miss my girls EVERY day!