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Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 12:50 AM
The last member of my family passed in 2010 and she was holding on to the ashes of three people (my mom ,uncle and her friend) plus my moms' two dogs and now my aunt. I shipped it all here. ugh. My mom wanted to be scattered in the Redwoods, then my uncle said just put me where she is. Now I have ashes from four people and two dogs in my closet. I need some closure on this. What would you do?

bubba
July 16th, 2014, 01:04 AM
I'd either put them where they wanted to be, or I'd mix them with cement and throw them in the ocean so coral could grow on them......

Scattering Ashes - Memorial Reef | Eternal Reefs (http://eternalreefs.com/)

Claire OneStitchAtATime
July 16th, 2014, 01:15 AM
Lorie, I have no idea. I'd start by disposing of the dog ashes though. Not so many regulations as with human remains?

Quiltfreestyle
July 16th, 2014, 01:19 AM
I'd either put them where they wanted to be, or I'd mix them with cement and throw them in the ocean so coral could grow on them......

Scattering Ashes - Memorial Reef | Eternal Reefs (http://eternalreefs.com/)
That's actually pretty cool if you decide on cremation.

Genny
July 16th, 2014, 01:24 AM
Only on MSQF would you meet someone that has the ashes of 4people and 2dogs in their closet! I apologize...just had to say that. Anyway I also think the ocean would be a great place to spread the ashes.

Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 01:28 AM
That idea is cool but they don't do it on this island. Taking 20# of ashes on a plane to calif is out of the question too. It's either the ocean or a forest here.

The sad one is that my aunt's friend was gay and her family didn't want anything to do with her so my auntie took care of it. So sad.

Quiltfreestyle
July 16th, 2014, 01:36 AM
Well Hawaii is beautiful both the oceans & forests. Either would be good if you ask me.

Hope you are able to resolve your dilemma.

bubba
July 16th, 2014, 01:37 AM
Mix the cement and ashes yourself. You don't have to have them do it for you. Take it to a place special to you and drop it down. It will sink partially into the sand and do it's trick! I've thought about this a lot......I've already told MM where to put me.

Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 01:37 AM
Only on MSQF would you meet someone that has the ashes of 4people and 2dogs in their closet! I apologize...just had to say that. Anyway I also think the ocean would be a great place to spread the ashes.

That's okay, it is sort of strange, lol But I need to get it out of my life. I might just do that and throw a bunch of flowers out.

Claire OneStitchAtATime
July 16th, 2014, 01:44 AM
I hope you find a good resolution to this one, & soon. We had my husband's dog's ashes in the closet for years but he finally buried them one day when he was planting a tree.

K. McEuen
July 16th, 2014, 01:46 AM
OK, the reef idea is cool, but I had no idea it would cost that much!

My Dad sprinkled my mom's ashes on the property where they lived last. Of course a few years later he sold the house.
Dad was spread on the golf course (he loved to play.) My brother did it. He was thinking of putting him in a sand trap, thinking no one would know. I told him "No! First off ashes are grey and would stand out like a sore thumb and second, what golfer wants to spend eternity stuck in a sand trap?" I told him to just put him at the edge of the rough where he wouldn't be noticed.
My Aunt Lil kept Uncle Dobie's ashes in the cardboard box, sitting on the hearth for years. She'd sit and talk to him when she felt the need. One day her grandkids asked her "What's in the box?" and she answered "Your Grandpa." They wanted to see, so she opened the box and showed them. Later that week her and the kids went out and spread Grandpa around the base of the huge pine tree on their property were he wanted to be. Aunt Lil kept just a little of him in the box and placed him back on the hearth so she could still talk to him when she wanted.
My oldest sister's hubby was cremated and placed in a really pretty teak wood box about half the size of a shoebox. It's all sealed and sits on her mantle. She will have the same thing done when she dies (they paid for it all several years ago.) She told me I could have their ashes when she died. I said "Well, with two of them I guess I could use you guys as bookends." She laughed and said "Jack is pretty heavy. He'd make a good door stop."

Yeah, I know, my family has a fairly cavalier outlook on it all. The preacher from my Dad's church went with us to the funeral home when we had to when Dad died and he told us we were probably one of the most well adjusted families he'd ever seen when it came to dealing with death. He was happy that we all seemed to accept the fact that the body was just a vessel, and that the spirit of the person lived on in all of us.

bkthomas
July 16th, 2014, 01:50 AM
I agree with Genny.......I would think you could find a safe place where you could do this......I love the video where they did that with Iz's ashes!

Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 02:02 AM
That was funny Karen, my family had the same sence of humor.

My cousin was a helicopter pilot here and we threw him out of the chopper and it spread all around us. Champagne for all!

bubba
July 16th, 2014, 02:05 AM
It took me five years before I could do my dad's ashes. During that time, they were at my sisters house. His birthday was on Halloween, so five years after he died, her and I took the ashes to the place he wanted to be.....Deception Pass - Deception Pass Bridge - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deception_Pass_Bridge)

That day, it was pouring buckets of rain. We set off (it's about three or so hours north of us), stopping at his favorite casino on the way. We even carried him inside to play with us! From there, we headed to Deception Pass. Well, I took his ashes over to the edge of the cliff when I hear her say, 'He wanted to be thrown from the bridge.' Crikey! I was not expecting that! We walk out onto the bridge. The sidewalk is probably 18" wide and cars are racing past at 60mph and here we were about 200' above the water!

Thanks goodness the skies had cleared. I was assigned the task of pouring, and she was assigned photography. The winds had died down and all of a sudden she sees a sign on the bridge that says 'NO THROWING ITEMS FROM BRIDGE'. I told her to stand in front of it so I could not see it and we waited for the bridge to be clear of walkers and cars. I go to pour him out, and she had not unfastened the bag! She thought I was just going to drop the closed bag into the water! We wait again for the coast to be clear and I punctured the bag, making a large hole in in. I pour him out just as a HUGE gust of wind hits, blowing the ashes straight up in the air. All you can see of me in the pictures is my feet! She was laughing so hard that was the only picture she got! I was gasping for air. I swear I was in the middle of a volcanic eruption! I'm pretty sure I inhaled half of him into my lungs. We made our way off the bridge, trying to clean me off, laughing, crying and coughing. I was sicker than a dog the rest of the winter, I'm sure because of those ashes I inhaled. My oldest daughter says he was giving me one last hug......

shermur
July 16th, 2014, 04:17 AM
There is a thought of mixing each of the ashes with cement and making stepping stones in a garden; that is what we did with my daughter's sweet Bischon after he was cremated...she still has that stepping stone to keep as a memory of her dog.....

Texas Jean
July 16th, 2014, 06:09 AM
Hawaii has some beautiful waterfalls, could you scatter the ashes at one of those?

HdWench
July 16th, 2014, 07:40 AM
Oh Sherri I love that idea!! We gathered up what few are left of my father-in-law's family and made an event sending him out on Lake Erie, but the ashes sure catch the wind fast. That was when hubby and I decided we'd like to be buried instead (odd time eh?).

I'd hate to think like you Lori, someone hands down the ashes until they reach the last person who is stuck trying to decided ((((HUGS))) my friend. Hope you find peace by scattering them where you are happy with.

:-Debbie

HandsomeRyan
July 16th, 2014, 07:53 AM
My dad "lives" in a box in my moms closet. His final request was to be cremated and his ashes spread in the Great Smokey Mountains National Park (which is legal and we have the permit for). We wanted to go do it as a family but with me and my younger brother living in the DMV and my older brother in Seattle (and set to become a father within the next week or so) we just haven't really found the time to all get together and go do it. I think my mom just wants to wait until she dies and they can be spread together but I would feel better if we could do my dad's ashes sooner as that is what he requested.

Back to your question: I'd find someplace pretty and scatter the ashes there. I think, regardless of their wishes, if what you do is with the best of intentions, it will be the right thing to do.

Elliegirl
July 16th, 2014, 08:45 AM
I have it in my will that I will be cremated. In 2010 I had to put down my dog Ellie, who was the most wonderful friend I've ever had. My will states that my ashes and Ellie's ashes will be mixed together and spread at the church associated with where I went to high school.

CountryHut
July 16th, 2014, 10:12 AM
- we still have the ash boxes of my MIL and BIL -- ashes were scrattered according to their wishes --
just don't know what to do with their boxes -- just don't want to toss them out - for me - I feel like that would be sacrilegious


- for the Hubby and I - our final HOOORAH will be at the National Cemetery in NE Florida

Sandy Navas
July 16th, 2014, 10:29 AM
Fact Sheet (http://morbid-curiosity.com/id170.htm)

Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 10:39 AM
- we still have the ash boxes of my MIL and BIL -- ashes were scrattered according to their wishes --
just don't know what to do with their boxes -- just don't want to toss them out - for me - I feel like that would be sacrilegious


- for the Hubby and I - our final HOOORAH will be at the National Cemetery in NE Florida

I wouldn't hang on to the boxes. You will feel better once you move on, which is what I'm trying to do :) I had to send these all home and in order to get them in a large priority box I had to ditch them. I told the postal clerk they were ashes and he said well someone has to sign for them, so I had to pay an extra $10. My dd said the box was just dropped off on the stairs. Stupid post office.

HandsOffItsMine
July 16th, 2014, 10:51 AM
I have my Mam's ashes, she wants to be with me 'till I get tired of her. Really she wants to be buried where John John was buried...at sea or some where else that is beautiful and peaceful.

You are already somewhere beautiful! I want to have Mams and my ashes scattered off Ko Olina Lagoons or Makaha Beach - with a small amount on a Koa board, paper lantern, lei, sent off by my family and local friends. I want them to celebrate our lives and to remember the love we have shared and will have together 'till we meet again...

Celebrate their lives, hold a Memorial even if it's just you and yours, for them at your favorite beach and send them off. It will give you closure, we all need that at one point in our lives.

Huggers, Ruby

PS, Mams is on the heart in a hand-painted chest (from Indonesia of all things). I say Good Morning/Good Night every day, some times I talk to her more than I willing to confess. lol Doubt very much that her ashes will get scattered any time soon, she moves with us each time.

Hulamoon
July 16th, 2014, 04:47 PM
Fact Sheet (http://morbid-curiosity.com/id170.htm)

It's interesting you picked that site. My mom was a child actress and was in several movies. Then in her later years had friends in the movie industry. They had Oscar parties to watch the movies sent out for review. She would of loved that site if she ever learned the computer.

Here are her credits

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0627460/

laura44
July 16th, 2014, 05:51 PM
I like the idea of the ocean or planting a tree over the ashes.

kensington
July 16th, 2014, 08:24 PM
It took me five years before I could do my dad's ashes. During that time, they were at my sisters house. His birthday was on Halloween, so five years after he died, her and I took the ashes to the place he wanted to be.....Deception Pass - Deception Pass Bridge - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deception_Pass_Bridge)

That day, it was pouring buckets of rain. We set off (it's about three or so hours north of us), stopping at his favorite casino on the way. We even carried him inside to play with us! From there, we headed to Deception Pass. Well, I took his ashes over to the edge of the cliff when I hear her say, 'He wanted to be thrown from the bridge.' Crikey! I was not expecting that! We walk out onto the bridge. The sidewalk is probably 18" wide and cars are racing past at 60mph and here we were about 200' above the water!

Thanks goodness the skies had cleared. I was assigned the task of pouring, and she was assigned photography. The winds had died down and all of a sudden she sees a sign on the bridge that says 'NO THROWING ITEMS FROM BRIDGE'. I told her to stand in front of it so I could not see it and we waited for the bridge to be clear of walkers and cars. I go to pour him out, and she had not unfastened the bag! She thought I was just going to drop the closed bag into the water! We wait again for the coast to be clear and I punctured the bag, making a large hole in in. I pour him out just as a HUGE gust of wind hits, blowing the ashes straight up in the air. All you can see of me in the pictures is my feet! She was laughing so hard that was the only picture she got! I was gasping for air. I swear I was in the middle of a volcanic eruption! I'm pretty sure I inhaled half of him into my lungs. We made our way off the bridge, trying to clean me off, laughing, crying and coughing. I was sicker than a dog the rest of the winter, I'm sure because of those ashes I inhaled. My oldest daughter says he was giving me one last hug......


We've been there, I was going to say, I didn't think you were supposed to throw stuff from there, but then I read the rest of your story. LOL.

kensington
July 16th, 2014, 08:28 PM
I would just take them one at a time or together to a place, say something and let them go. Any wind will take them where they need to go... setting them free. Don't worry that it's not exactly the place they requested, I'm pretty sure they won't resent being freed where you are. It's awesome you care and want to do something for them. God Bless.

kensington
July 16th, 2014, 08:46 PM
Fact Sheet (http://morbid-curiosity.com/id170.htm)

People are sick and twisted.

Slokarma
July 16th, 2014, 08:53 PM
Whoa nellie.........(sorry, I haven't read the answers yet, but i just had one of those desires to giggle and then I realized this could easily happen to me!!!)


Ya think they could have at least left a round trip ticket with those ashes to some glorius place so to dispose of their remains....I mean....Well, ya know what i mean!

kensington
July 16th, 2014, 09:01 PM
Whoa nellie.........(sorry, I haven't read the answers yet, but i just had one of those desires to giggle and then I realized this could easily happen to me!!!)


Ya think they could have at least left a round trip ticket with those ashes to some glorius place so to dispose of their remains....I mean....Well, ya know what i mean!

My niece did just that. She wanted her ashes to be taken to Barbados, and she left the money for her mom, her sister and her daughter to make the trip.

tiffanym
July 17th, 2014, 08:40 AM
just did a quick search for cremation memorial jewelry. this is only the first site and you're welcome to research it more. Cremation Jewelry - Perfect Memorials (http://www.perfectmemorials.com/cremation-jewelry/)
If you're looking to "hold on" to someone I'd look into one of these. I have a teaspoon of my father's ashes in a gorgeous stained glass style lamp that sits in the hall. Hummingbird and Lily Pink Tiffany Style Lamp Keepsake Cremation Urn (http://www.mainelyurns.com/hummingbird-and-lily-pink-tiffany-style-lamp-keepsake-cremation-urn.html)
I stopped saving the ashes from my pets since I realized the boxes or urns would soon be everywhere. Now I just surround myself with pictures. That's really where the memories are. :)
If weight is the issue when flying, try taking a small amount instead of the whole thing. I remember when my brother wanted half of Dad's ashes and I thought shipping would be no problem. Who'd a thunk that a 6 foot skin and bones man's ashes would weigh so much? I have to joke about it now. If not I'd end up crying since it's still so fresh in mind.
Anyway, I hope you figure out what to do.
:icon_hug: