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Jess1377
June 28th, 2014, 10:27 AM
I don't normally post here in this section and really am in a rush off to work rt now but am I naieve or are the two employees of mine so incredibly jaded? I am going nuts dealing with their comments of dont trust this person or that one, they are doing this or that yet the person's who tells this all to me says oh no they aren't gossiping just informing me... I am a quiet thoughtful person who does not like gossip and will not give a wild reaction when someone tells me something considered outrageous cause i most usually had the thought / consideration already anyway but didnt voice it cause it isn't my business or does not affect the workplace in any way so I wont waste my time with the idea that is in discussion unnecessarily. But the thoughts / discussions / gossip being conveyed to me is getting annoying and they don't know all the details they are talking about either. Nothing I tell them conveys to them that yeah I got it already but all their comments beginning with i don't meen to gossip but... does not /will not make me jump on what they say asa fact. I just guess I am not giving themthe reactions they want but i always like to give a person the benefit of a doubt to prove themselves untrustworthy or whatever said negative gossip against them. I don't waiver easily andmaybe thats what bugs them? Thanks for listening to this likely just nonsense... I didn't want to post on FB forsome reason either. Havea great day to all who made it this far through my ramble! :)

Sylvia H
June 28th, 2014, 10:45 AM
Yes, they are gossiping, in spite of their saying they are not! And I agree with you that they want to see a stronger reaction from you. I consider their behavior manipulative as well, as they are trying to get you to have a negative opinion of others. Since they are your employees, you will probably need to make stronger statements to them. You have to say whatever you are most comfortable saying. If I were in your situation, I would say something like....."I appreciate your concern; however, I do not think it is appropriate for us to be having these types of discussions about someone who is not present. (Or, I prefer to develop my own opinions based upon what I observe myself.) So let's talk about <insert another topic> instead. Since they are employees, the "other topic" could be work related.....

Alpha O
June 28th, 2014, 11:54 AM
Sylvia H is right.
But if they are gossiping about customers, it might require a stronger reaction. Gossiping about customers can be overheard regardless of how private the gossipers think they are.

MRoy
June 28th, 2014, 12:09 PM
As a supervisor I told the person that, before they told me anything, they needed to know that if they were going to tell me something about another employee and it might involve or affect work, then I would have to discuss the matter with that employee and it might be necessary to have a meeting with both people to clarify or resolve the matter. That usually dried up the gossipers in a hurry.

Sharyn J
June 28th, 2014, 01:10 PM
Gossip in a workplace is like a cancer.......it spreads. If the two employees spread gossip to you, then they are probably spreading the same stories to other employees. I was also a supervisor and did exactly what Myrna did. Once faced with a possible meeting with all parties concerned, face to face............the gossip suddenly stops!

bec
June 28th, 2014, 01:32 PM
I'm retired now, but when I did work I sometimes found myself in those situations. I found that if I started pointing out to the gossipers something good about the person or tried to come up with a plausible reason why they may be acting that way...having personal difficulties...maybe they weren't feeling well, etc., the gossipers soon held their tongues.

Vonnie
June 28th, 2014, 01:55 PM
A lot of the offices I worked in, I would be the only female. I have to tell you, gossip knows no gender. I remember one guy came into my office and he was really into talking about another coworker that me and the guy I worked with just sat there dumbfounded while this guy just ranted on and on and surprise surprise, the person he was talking about was standing in the hallway listening to everything! When he came storming in the door I thought WWIII was about to start! They had equal rank in the office and were several levels above me and my co-worker. The gossiper came in the next day and apologized. He let us know that he knew that his behavior was extremely inappropriate - especially for the workplace.

The only time I repeated stuff was when one co-worker (not the same office as above) was talking trash about our supervisor. I waited until my supervisor was alone and informed her what the co-worker was saying. She said she suspected it because she was telling our supervisor similar stuff about me. I wonder at the IQ of someone who acts that way in the work place and in front of the supervisor and then they get mad when they get a poor evaluation. Go figure. :icon_rolleyes:

I'm not giving any advice since you have already received good advice from our forum buddies.

BobW
June 28th, 2014, 03:01 PM
As a supervisor I told the person that, before they told me anything, they needed to know that if they were going to tell me something about another employee and it might involve or affect work, then I would have to discuss the matter with that employee and it might be necessary to have a meeting with both people to clarify or resolve the matter. That usually dried up the gossipers in a hurry.

I used the same approach with people I managed. I also told my people that the easiest thing in the world to find is a fault, so look at yourself before you point a finger at someone else.

I also found that the gossips were talking about the person they told as much as everyone else.

Genny
June 28th, 2014, 07:27 PM
I don't normally post here in this section and really am in a rush off to work rt now but am I naieve or are the two employees of mine so incredibly jaded? I am going nuts dealing with their comments of dont trust this person or that one, they are doing this or that yet the person's who tells this all to me says oh no they aren't gossiping just informing me... I am a quiet thoughtful person who does not like gossip and will not give a wild reaction when someone tells me something considered outrageous cause i most usually had the thought / consideration already anyway but didnt voice it cause it isn't my business or does not affect the workplace in any way so I wont waste my time with the idea that is in discussion unnecessarily. But the thoughts / discussions / gossip being conveyed to me is getting annoying and they don't know all the details they are talking about either. Nothing I tell them conveys to them that yeah I got it already but all their comments beginning with i don't meen to gossip but... does not /will not make me jump on what they say asa fact. I just guess I am not giving themthe reactions they want but i always like to give a person the benefit of a doubt to prove themselves untrustworthy or whatever said negative gossip against them. I don't waiver easily andmaybe thats what bugs them? Thanks for listening to this likely just nonsense... I didn't want to post on FB forsome reason either. Havea great day to all who made it this far through my ramble! :)

If you are over these employees that are gossiping then you need to get this under control. If the person or persons that they are talking about start feeling like they are being harassed then this could mean a lawsuit against your company and maybe you for not stopping it.

Bubby
June 28th, 2014, 07:42 PM
As a supervisor I treasured the employees who came to work to do their job and minded their own business and shied away from gossip. Regardless of what these people say, they are gossiping. If you are their supervisor, you need to nip it in the bud.

Mpyles
June 28th, 2014, 08:21 PM
Just on a human level....people really need to grow up!

shermur
June 29th, 2014, 09:50 AM
Jess1377....I know it's frustrating, sweetie....but rise above. Co-workers that gossip in the work place are totally unprofessional! The place of employment I just left had several females that gossiped and it wasn't worth a plug nickel.

These co-workers at times would pull me into their opinions and I boldly told them that it was not worth my time to listen to gossip. I learned a long time ago, that it doesn't matter what people state about me....I only have to prove what I am about and worth!

Don't let co-workers like these bring you down; stay in communication with your superiors....and stay focused on what is fact! I learned to ignore any gossip I heard and they soon learned not to gossip around me! Chin up, sweetie!

Kerry Bo Berry
June 29th, 2014, 09:59 AM
"Who gossips to you will gossip of you." --Turkish proverb