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HandsomeRyan
June 13th, 2014, 01:50 PM
Since I know some people are here more through the week and busy on the weekend I thought I'd go ahead and post a few thoughts I have about Father's Day and dad stuff in general here on Friday afternoon. I'm not sure how many dad's we have on this forum as there aren't many men here and I know some of the few we do have do not have children. But I figure everyone has or had a dad and hopefully other father figures throughout their life. We might even have some ladies on here who had to be the father to their children too. Happy Father's Day (a little early).

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"A few thoughts on Dad Stuff"

It is my first Father’s Day. I've only been doing this fathering thing for 4 months but I have been fortunate to have had a great dad myself and married into a family which gave me a second father who I’m pretty fond of as well. If you’ll bear with me for a couple more paragraphs, I want to talk about dad stuff for a moment.

I guess my own “most fatherly experience” to date is as old as my son is. The first time I really felt fatherly was on the day of my son’s birth. I was already emotionally exhausted before the main event. Simply getting to the hospital required my neighbors clearing well over a foot of snow from our driveway with their tractor, we slid into a snowbank getting onto the highway, and we required a police escort for the final leg after a road closure forced a detour. I thought the scary part was over when we arrived safely at the hospital but next thing I know, I’m sitting beside my wife in the OR as they perform an unscheduled C-section. I peaked over the curtain in time to see my son’s head pop out and within a second I could hear his cry. Anyone who has ever witnessed the birth of their child probably already understands what I felt in that moment and if you haven’t there is no way I can describe it but in that one moment you realize that your entire life is not just starting a new chapter but an entirely new book where you aren't even the main character anymore. It is the most wonderful thing in the world.

The hardest part of coming up with a story about my own father was narrowing down the hundreds of things I want to say about him and just pick one story. I thought about fun memories like the time he came canoeing in with a flaming roll of kerosene-soaked toilet paper as a torch at a scout meeting. I thought about deep, difficult times like how he always said things were going to be fine even in his darkest times struggling with unemployment. The story I decided to include here though I believe best encapsulates what I think about my dad. Just before I turned 16, my parents bought me a car so I could learn to drive. A couple months after I turned 16, I drove that car into oncoming traffic totaling it. I thought my parents would be so angry and disappointed in me. The only thing I remember my dad ever saying about it was, “We all make mistakes while driving sometimes. Usually we get away with it, sometimes we don’t. I’m just glad you’re okay.” And he even got me another car. He never gave me a lecture about being more careful or complained about how much money was wasted. That is the kind of dad I hope to be to my son.

We all know that being a father isn't just about biological parenting though. With that in mind I want to tell a story about my father-in-law from back when I would have referred to him as “my girlfriends dad”. Tabatha and I were looking at getting an apartment together after our second year of college. While we were all legally adults, we were still worried about how Tom would react to the idea of his daughter living with a guy. He was buying Tabatha some furniture for her first “real” place and he had ordered her a queen sized bed. Upon learning that I would be living there too, he said, “Well, I guess we need to change that to a king sized bed” and so he did. I think that action, more than any words he could have ever said to me helped me to understand that he trusted me as someone who would be kind and loving towards his daughter. Here we are a decade later and I guess he was right.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, soon-to-be-dads, father figures, and even the women who are doing the job of both parents.

meemeecyn
June 13th, 2014, 02:21 PM
First off, Thank you Ryan, for your eloquent, tender and beautiful words. The way you described your Dad and your second Dad (Tom) brought tears to my eyes. Needless to say, someday Little Man Sawyer will be saying those things about his Dad. You are a perfect example of the power of role modeling for our children. Both as a son and now as a father.

Congratulations on this special day for Father's. And to all our Forum Father's.
Cynthia

MayinJerset
June 13th, 2014, 03:00 PM
Ryan, I second what Cynthia said about you and your words. I hope all the M* members get a chance to read them

I know my DH was a good role model for our 3 sons as they all are good father's to their children.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads, bio or not, where would we all be without you?

Doloris
June 13th, 2014, 03:04 PM
this pretty well sums up my dad. He has been gone now for 22 years and I miss him every day. Daddy's Hands - Holly Dunn - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOAjAWToYMI&feature=kp)

Iris Girl
June 13th, 2014, 03:26 PM
You words are wonderful and your memories are also. Not hard to see that little man will grow up in such a kind loving atmosphee and become a wonderful man in time also. I grew up with no Father. My mom was mom and dad to me. We did live near one of her brothers and he was the closest to a father figure I had. My husband ha been a passable father to ou kids. sometimes good , sometimes not. It is what it is. Happy Fathers Day to all the Dad's out there.

Sandy Navas
June 13th, 2014, 05:39 PM
Sharing only one of my favorite memories of my Dad - he's been gone for 22+ years now. Dad had a construction company and one of my earliest memories is when he'd come in from work each evening and head to the bathroom to wash the dirt off. He made me a very special little step stool and I'd stand next to the sink and he'd take my hands in his and wash mine along with his. He always used Lava soap and today the smell and feel of it always makes me remember the best Dad in the world.

SallyO'Sews
June 15th, 2014, 02:22 AM
Happy Father's Day, Ryan! I hope you're saving these wonderful stories in a format that you can share with your entire family - what a gift you have for storytelling, and what a lovely legacy you are preparing for Mr. Mini-Cooper!
Blessings, ~ Sally \0/

Mpyles
June 15th, 2014, 02:32 AM
Happy Father's Day Ryan!! Lil cooper is such a blessed little guy!! The memory I bring of my father is when I was around 28 years old and had been I a relationship for 8 years and it to my surprise, went south...I was devastated. I immediately went to my dads house, cause everyone knows dads make everything better...I was sobbing and he said to me.." Mary, there are givers and takers in this world, and you are a giver...he was a taker..,you just need to meet your giver" it put a lot in perspective for me...and I did meet my giver!!! Dads been gone 19 years now...and as anyone knows that has lost a parent, I miss him daily. He was a genuine giver!

Kgrammiecaz
June 15th, 2014, 05:39 AM
Beautiful words. Thank you for sharing them with us. I spent the past week with my mom and dad because my dad has not been feeling well, so it was time for me to take a trip to Jersey. I am happy to say he is doing ok. My parents are 83 and i pray they have a lot more time with us.

Happy Fathers day to all our quilting dads and to all those dads who support the quilter in their family.

aliaslaceygreen
June 15th, 2014, 09:47 AM
How lovely, Ryan. I was coming here this AM to specifically wish you a happy Father's Day!

I don't have those great kinds of memories about my dad as a child, but of my grandfather. He raised us from when I was three. His name was Daddy Gus, which differentiated him from Daddy Kevin who was my father.
After I grew up, probably the last 10 years of his life, Daddy Kevin was finally ready to participate in family, and we found our normal.

I hope everyone had at the least, a Daddy Gus to get them by~!

Monique
June 15th, 2014, 06:51 PM
Happy Father's Day Ryan.

I always told things to my Dad before I ever did to my mother. Dad, can I smoke? Dad, Les & I want to live together. I lost my father way too soon but think of him often. And my Dad taught me how to tie a tie.

Grandma G
June 15th, 2014, 09:35 PM
Ryan - what beautiful memories. You are such a wonderful roll model for Sawyer. And Tabatha is one lucky young lady. Hope your Father's Day was as special as you are.

Joan@DebtofGratitude
June 16th, 2014, 11:52 AM
With those two guys in your life as role models, how could you become anything but a wonderful (and level-headed) dad? Great stories!

EmmaB
June 16th, 2014, 01:01 PM
This was just beautiful Ryan. I hope you had a wonderful first Father's Day.