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Hawaii Roxy
April 18th, 2014, 01:50 AM
Well our life is about to change drastically and not for the better,my husband failed his PT test and will be chaptered out of the army. He was told today it would be anywhere from 1 to 4 months. Thats not enough time to find a house and jobs back on the mainland let alone come up with money to rent something! On top of that we have to pay to ship our 2nd car back.....to where we don't even know. We dont have anything in saving because we have given it to our kids at different times for different things always thinking we could make it up. We are so defeated at this point,we dont know what to do or where to start.
Im so sick of things always being yucky,I just want a normal life! No drama no problems just for a little while!
Another really bad thing about all this is theres a good chance we will have to get rid of our dogs and thats killing me.
Anyway thanks for reading I just needed to vent,maybe ill go take a sleeping pill and sleep till saturday lol Dont take that wrong im not suicidal just tense .

bkthomas
April 18th, 2014, 01:58 AM
It's gonna be all right Baby Seester......You know I have a feeling that this is going to turn into something really good.....I won't say out loud what I am thinking, but I'll let you know later what is was!!!

Miss Sheri
April 18th, 2014, 02:08 AM
Just sending you a hug, Roxy. Sometimes life is just really hard.

kaydee
April 18th, 2014, 02:15 AM
Well our life is about to change drastically and not for the better,.

I know you don't want to hear this now, but take it from someone who has been through such upheavals -- things will get better, and in the end, you all will probably be better off. Something better IS around the corner. Believe it. Work towards it. You will find it.

Kgrammiecaz
April 18th, 2014, 02:21 AM
Hang in there, blessing are around the corner. Do something just for you and just about you. Its ok to be a little selfish sometimes. Lets us be ready to tackle the rest

Momofmonsters5
April 18th, 2014, 02:24 AM
I'm so sorry, the Army has really changed. Hugs I feel for you, my husband is reenlisting right now and they have him jumping through hoops. Good luck and keep your head up

Wwena
April 18th, 2014, 03:13 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that! You will make it work, I know it. Just give it some time, you need to adjust to the very idea of it before you make plans.

GuitarGramma
April 18th, 2014, 03:20 AM
(((((Roxy)))))

Hulamoon
April 18th, 2014, 03:30 AM
I'm so sorry to hear this:( Have you thought about a different area of the island and most of all do you want to stay here? I'm stuck myself because I don't have any family on the mainland to go to. I'd be a stranger in a strange land moving right now.

Everyone thinks Hawaii is wow I would love to live there but in reality it's hard.

What kind of dogs do you have?

Hawaii Roxy
April 18th, 2014, 03:42 AM
Thanks everybody,and to Lori I dunno we are so in shock still and overwhelmed with "oh God now what" feelings. There is soooo much to think about and 4 months is simply not enough time to make any adjustments or plans all I can do is pray that answers present themselves and soon. This has literally knocked the breath out of me and right now Im going off fear .Im trying to clear my head and calm down

bubba
April 18th, 2014, 04:01 AM
I'm sorry this has happened, but things happen for a reason. Time will tell what that reason is.

rebeccas-sewing
April 18th, 2014, 04:42 AM
This is unfortunate news! I'm with the other folks on here. Once you get over the shock you'll start working on your options. I'm sure you'll get this figured out. I hope you have friends or acquaintances in the military who can lend support. Are there military counselors who help folks with these problems? Certainly you're not the first to have experienced this problem. Hopefully, you'll get some advice that might help you decide what's best to do in your situation. Do they give you any kind of severance pay like they do in civilian life to help you?

dwil23
April 18th, 2014, 06:49 AM
Just hang in there - something will work out. I know it doesn't seem like it's possible, but it will. And usually for the better.

Wouldn't it be better to sell the car and use the money to buy another one when you get here? Just thinking. I'm sure there are ways for you to keep the dogs, they are your babies.

Get some rest so that you will be able to think things through. When you are tired and stressed, it's hard to make good decisions, or even have a good outlook.

(((HUGS)))

snippet
April 18th, 2014, 07:06 AM
Wow, I didn't know the Army, or any branch of the gov't, could work that fast.

It does suck and I bet you are in a crappy mood right now. So many questions and no answers. Don't know what to tell you, but if you need help, we are just a forum post away. You know us, we can help if you need us.

((( hugs )))

Bubby
April 18th, 2014, 07:14 AM
My thoughts, best wishes and prayers are with you and your husband. ((HUGS)))

EmmaB
April 18th, 2014, 07:47 AM
(((HUGS))) Roxy!! Maybe when the shock of this wears off you will see some answers.

Suzette
April 18th, 2014, 07:47 AM
So sorry for all of this Roxy! But I get the sense that you are strong and determined and I believe that you will turn this into a positive. But before you do that, take some time and lots of deep breaths to get through the first stage of this journey. You have lots of support here. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

quiltingtrish
April 18th, 2014, 08:07 AM
(((((HUGS ROXY) I wish there was something I could do but at this point, I will put you in my prayers.

HUGS,

easyquilts
April 18th, 2014, 08:20 AM
I'm so sorry you are going through such a bad time.... I know that panicky "now what " feeling.... Do you have friends you can talk with? Hang on....it will get better...... Easy to say, I know, but it's usually true..... I know you are scared.... You know we will all be here to support you... No matter what happens.... Many hugs to you and your family....

HandsOffItsMine
April 18th, 2014, 08:37 AM
So many families have/are getting this type of news. Once you are over your shock, you can get a plan together. We made our move off the Island in a month last year. It was hard work and stressful but it CAN be done, the toughest is getting the date for the cars off the island as there are only 2 shipping dates per month to CA with the most reliable shipper Pasha.

You might have to sell off your second car if you don't have the average cost of $1200 to get it off, especially if the car isn't worth that much.

Another option is to downsize (no pets :( ) and move to the Leeward side and see if Makaha Valley Towers condos has something for rent. All utilities are included, gated, 24 hours security, 1 mile from the beach. 15 miles from Kapolei (Walmart, Target) - 10 miles from Ko O'lina (Disney Aulani). Maybe your DH can get something in Security as a quick job while he looks for something better).

You can do it, we've moved 4 times within 3 states in 5 years. :)

Hang in there, Ruby

shermur
April 18th, 2014, 08:57 AM
Roxy, so sorry to hear the military has put your family in quandary.
My Navy daughter (Ashley) will transfer with her ship in August to Pearl. She's getting married next month; her new hubby will still be in San Diego and she'll be in Hawaii.
I hate to think of all the challanges that will be faced with everything. Lean on family if you can, and God will provide......chin up.

Mom23
April 18th, 2014, 09:21 AM
Roxy, I have no advice that nobody else has already given you, but know you will be in my prayers through this difficult time.

MayinJerset
April 18th, 2014, 09:34 AM
Hang in there Roxy, you know that old saying when one door closes another one opens. Praying that the other door opens quickly.

Monique
April 18th, 2014, 09:45 AM
Hang in there Roxy, you know that old saying when one door closes another one opens. Praying that the other door opens quickly.

May beat me to this saying. Hugs to you and your hubby.

mommadeb
April 18th, 2014, 09:45 AM
Hang in there. Things will get better. Would it be possible for you to stay in Hawaii and get work there? Hugs to you.

Jess1377
April 18th, 2014, 10:09 AM
Wow, I didn't know the Army, or any branch of the gov't, could work that fast.

It does suck and I bet you are in a crappy mood right now. So many questions and no answers. Don't know what to tell you, but if you need help, we are just a forum post away. You know us, we can help if you need us.

((( hugs )))

Sadly in this situation it can and does because it's a common chapter process. The military is -thanks to the government- cutting as many things as possible to include cutting thousands of active duty service members as they can sadly and in poor Roxys case she is feeling the brunt of it. In the past there would be at least 2 sometimes 3 options to pass a pt test and that includes having remedial pt supported by the unit. Times are tough on all of the soldiers right now sadly, I don't even want to go on with my own rt now...

Roxy, contact your posts ACS office today and start there looking for resources to see what they can offer as far as help or gathering points of contacts to help you through this process. Ruby mentioned a really good idea of where to look into if you decide to stay. Take one step at a time, just know you can make it through this tough time most of all you got all of us here to give all sorts of support and cheering up for you.

JCY
April 18th, 2014, 10:40 AM
So sorry you're facing this sudden change in plans. I don't know of anyone who lives a problem-free life. We all face challenges. We have to deal with life as it is, not as we wish it were. Take a deep breath, say some prayers for guidance, & think about where you might like to live. Things eventually will work out. Maybe what's waiting around the corner will be an even better situation than what you've had. What sometimes seems like a downer, often turns into a blessing. God bless, JCY

Simply Quilting
April 18th, 2014, 10:43 AM
{{{HUGS}}}

Mpyles
April 18th, 2014, 10:47 AM
Sorry for your troubles...will pray that all works out!

WendyI
April 18th, 2014, 12:16 PM
I have nothing to add that has not already been said so I am sending you a massive virtual HUG! You WILL get through this! Hang I there. xox

grammakim04
April 18th, 2014, 10:20 PM
((((Hugs)))) Praying everything works out.

PeggyM
April 18th, 2014, 10:44 PM
Roxy, I have no advice for you, but I do have prayers, and you and your family are in them.

BellasQuilts
April 18th, 2014, 10:56 PM
I have nothing more to add here, other than you are in my prayers as well. Remember, to eat an elephant you take one bite at a time.

Lisapc
April 19th, 2014, 12:45 AM
Roxy: you and your hubby are destined for great things.

You are too down to earth, kind, honest, strong, brave, talented, honest and fair to do anything else. This is just a hiccup. You are both going to be just fine.

RoseMA
April 19th, 2014, 02:48 AM
Roxy,
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been hit with such a difficulty. I can't tell you how many times I feared the same thing while I was active duty. The semi-annual physical readiness test always caused me anxiety and I came real close to losing my retirement eligibility near the end of my career because of it. The service puts you thru so much, and families make so many sacrifices. You're not alone, and I have to believe there are resources out there to help you. The Navy has a Family Service Center, I'm sure the Army has their own version; you should be able to find help there if not directly, then at least point you in the right direction.
You have family here on this forum for moral support too.
There's an organization called Dogs on Deployment, that might be helpful if you find that you must give up your beloved pets. I do hope you don't have to give up your dogs though. http://dogsondeployment.org/
Here's wishing you well and a smooth transition to the civilian sector.
Hugs
and more hugs
;)

Hawaii Roxy
April 19th, 2014, 04:51 AM
Again Iwant to thank each and every one of you for all the words of encouragement and advice. I have been consumed in self pity and wallowing in "ohhh poor poor me" After reading all these comments I realize OMG shut up Roxanne!! I have really nothing to cry about I have a husband who has MANY skills and who loves me! PLUS I get to reconnect with my kids and grand kids! But ONLY because of ya'll did I come to this conclusion so I thank you ALL so so very much! None of you "know" me Im just a faceless stranger typing words on a forum but you all took the time to say something to share your stories ,and to me thats just amazing and has really made me take a good hard look at my life. I see how lucky I am and how things could always be worse.
So I hope God blesses all of you the way you have blessed me and lifted me up .....

Vonnie
April 19th, 2014, 07:55 AM
So sorry Roxy. You mention grandchildren, does this mean you DH might be old enough to be able to retire? Or, maybe use his years in the military to get a civil service job. I knew a lot of military people turned around and got civil service jobs where their time in the military counted towards retirement for the civil service jobs.

songbird857
April 19th, 2014, 01:04 PM
{{{{Roxy}}}}

Hawaii Roxy
April 19th, 2014, 02:13 PM
So sorry Roxy. You mention grandchildren, does this mean you DH might be old enough to be able to retire? Or, maybe use his years in the military to get a civil service job. I knew a lot of military people turned around and got civil service jobs where their time in the military counted towards retirement for the civil service jobs.

Yes ma'm he is and he has been looking for jobs with the VA so he can retire.

Vonnie
April 19th, 2014, 02:27 PM
Yes ma'm he is and he has been looking for jobs with the VA so he can retire.

My oldest boy has a friend that joined when he did and was injured right off. He's gone back to college and is now working for the VA as a counselor for our injured soldiers.

We will be routin for your DH. I bet he gets a job with the VA.

Grandma G
April 19th, 2014, 03:47 PM
Wow, Roxy, I know this seems overwhelming and right now it is but take that deep breath. You have no where to go but forward and it is time to think of options. You have gotten some really good advice on here and I know with the advice I have read that you will start to think more clearly. And anytime you need a cyber hug just jump on the forum. Many prayers for you and your family. God Bless.

WendyI
April 19th, 2014, 11:16 PM
Hoping today was a better day for you. ((((HUGS))))

laura44
April 20th, 2014, 09:59 PM
Sending a big hug your way. I will be keeping you in
my prayers. I know how you feel, it will get better.

edwina
April 21st, 2014, 06:13 PM
Hi roxy I know we have never met but I believe you don't need to meet face to face to have true friends that care about you ,hoping everyday is getting better for you and your family and that peace and peace of mind come soon to you .love and hugs Edwina :icon_wave:

stitching woman
April 21st, 2014, 06:38 PM
Hugs and hope things are looking up for you today.

sewbizzy
April 21st, 2014, 07:05 PM
Hugs and Blessings!!!

alliek
April 21st, 2014, 08:44 PM
This may be a GOOD thing. One day at a time. Prayers for your peace of heart, mind and a clear direction for you all. Sending a hug for all ((((())))))))

bellasnanny247
April 22nd, 2014, 08:24 AM
Hang in there-everything happenoes for a reason:
1)get on the internet and google "top places for jobs" and you will be surprised how many links you will find
Sean Hannity recently started a campaign(I heard on the radio)to get folks in America to open their minds to the fact that there are towns where jobs are plentiful-but perhaps not in most ideal locales-North Dakota being one of them. Austin,Texas has lots of jobs as well, along with Midland, Tx.
many of the jobs in demand don't require college--and your spouse will be a vet-they are in high demand.

2)try to sell lots of your stuff before heading back to the mainland-less to ship and you will make some $$$
3)register on one of those job hunting sites to get a jump on the process-update resumes, line up references etc.

things will work out-just try to take little steps so the process does not overwhelm

I am sure your husband will be very marketable--he must keep a positive outlook--his time in the military will be worth a lot in the public sector.

good luck--from a mom whose son is Air Force and he is getting ready to move to Germany May 3! That PT test is always a stressor!