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Rhonda D. Matzker
April 11th, 2014, 12:02 AM
Ever since I kicked my niece and her POS boyfriend out of my extra house, I have been inundated today with the most terrible text messages from her. I have told her that her and her boyfriend are not welcome back down her and that if either of them show up I will have the arrested for trespassing. I am going to pack up her things next week, she is threatening me with the police if something comes up missing. Once this over I will have only one sister and one niece and two great-nieces and one great-nephew left. Since I have lost most of my family, I think I just may move out the state and try to find some peace somewhere because apparently no one wants me around here.

Miss Sheri
April 11th, 2014, 12:10 AM
Rhonda, sweet woman, stop and breathe. Remember, you don't really want to make any hasty, or rash decissions while you are feeling angry or hurt. Would it be possible or desireable to have your niece's mother come help you pack up all their stuff? Intentionally having a witness there could protect you from false acusations. Maybe she is mad too, but I would try to get someone both you and your niece trust to help you with that job. Hugs for you dear, and good luck! Sheri

Rhonda D. Matzker
April 11th, 2014, 12:26 AM
I don't trust her mother any more than I do her when it comes to my mother's belongings

Hulamoon
April 11th, 2014, 12:26 AM
(((Rhonda))) I don't have any of my childhood family left. My aunt passed in 2010 and that was it. I have my two dd's left and my two stepkids and their kids I don't want to get into my story but I have to tell you that even though it's a family member you don't have to be friends with them. My youngest dd is turning into a mean person. I refuse to think I had anything to do with it. She is just taking sides. She flip flops. maybe when I'm eighty she will come to my bedside. lol

Do what's best for your situation and forget she is a family member. Your not forced to get along because of blood. I'm tired of trying so hard that I could go without speaking for awhile. At least until she stops being so selfish.

kensington
April 11th, 2014, 12:40 AM
Hey... you will still have more family than some people have. You gotta look at that glass half full. Better to have a few good family than a ton of bad ones.

easyquilts
April 11th, 2014, 12:55 AM
I 'm so sorry you have had such troubles.... But, you do have family there, and I know they would miss you, if you moved away. In any case, don't make any rash decisions while you are so upset. ((((((((Hugs))))))))

auntiemern
April 11th, 2014, 12:59 AM
Ya gotta quit worrying about all of it. It is what it is...pack up their stuff...and be done with it. They can only get to you if you let them. Ya gotta consider the source and let it go. Dwelling on all of it isn't going to help. You know I am here for you if you need me.

Angelia
April 11th, 2014, 02:06 AM
Turn off your phone. You have done what you needed to do, and it took courage. You can be proud of that.

Jen7
April 11th, 2014, 03:05 AM
Rhonda, family can be the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Believe in yourself and the stand you took for yourself and the ones you hold dear. Maybe someday she will grow up and recognize what the situation truly was...or she won't, and that shouldn't change your own resolve to do the right thing.

BobW
April 11th, 2014, 03:06 AM
You know you can pick you nose, you can pick your friends, but to some extent you are stuck with your family. That's not to say you have to let them run over you. I have 8 neighbors that I'm closer to than anyone in my family at this time in my life. If I needed anything my neighbors are the ones that are there for me, to the extent that if I go to the hospital one of the neighbors takes me. If there are people in your family that are causing you so much grief, then you should cut them loose and move on. I'm not saying it will be easy, but sometimes the best way is to just make a clean break. I don't think you have to move to another state, unless you really want to move, but don't let them control your life or cause you stress and upset. Life is too short to be upset all the time.

rebeccas-sewing
April 11th, 2014, 04:31 AM
Listen to your quilting friends, Rhonda. What they say makes good sense. I would not subject myself to this kid's abuse. I wouldn't even listen to her texts. She should be so ashamed of herself for the way she's behaving. You need to look at the loss of family ties as their loss not yours. I certainly understand why you would like to pick up and leave. That's a normal reaction to the kind of drama you've been dealing with. I hope things settle down. Sure would be ashame for them to have such an affect on you for you to move out of town because of them. I wouldn't give them that kind of power. Sometimes blood isn't thicker than water. Sounds like the case here.

Sheena
April 11th, 2014, 05:31 AM
I totally agree with Rebecca. You've done the right thing even if it's causing you upset right now. It will blow over and settle down and then you'll be glad and life will be more peaceful for you. Remember you were at the end of your tether with these two, so things can only get better.

Suzette
April 11th, 2014, 07:21 AM
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! I know things look dark and depressing right now, but clearly you have lots of folks that love and care about you - that is such a gift!! And we all support you and your decisions, so you know you have tons of moral support right here!! :icon_bigsmile:

This is an ugly time for you but it WILL pass. Let that be your mantra "this too shall pass" and I believe that (and all the love and support your are getting here and from others in your life) will get you through this stronger than you went into it. Hugs!!!!!

dwil23
April 11th, 2014, 07:36 AM
Rhonda, I can understand how you feel, but just do what you have to do and give yourself some time to get past this. Your feelings are still raw, understandably. Take a deep breath and try to avoid acting too hastily, that often makes things worse.


(((HUGS)))

Vonnie
April 11th, 2014, 08:33 AM
With Marilyn in your corner you can handle it. Plus you can vent here any time you want.

Granny Judy
April 11th, 2014, 08:47 AM
Look at the niece like she really is. A SPOILED BRAT, throwing a temper tantrum!! Yes, she is and don't let her fool you when she becomes repentant. (which is her next move). Remember her past behavior??

Stay strong and don't let them control you by hurting your feelings.. They know all the ways to get to you... so put up your barriers and let them know you don't care anymore.. they had their last chance and didn't believe you then.. so they won't believe you now.

We are rooting for you,,, so listen to the ones who DO love you and CARE about YOU..

grannyann
April 11th, 2014, 09:24 AM
For your own peace of mind block the numbers of those hounding you. I understand what your going through and if a family member would put you through what you have been lately then just cut them out of your life and feel the peace you so need and deserve. You have to take care of you because they certainly are not going to. May God give you the courage and inner peace you need right now.

EmmaB
April 11th, 2014, 01:16 PM
Sorry you are having a rough time. Stick to your guns. Just because she sends text messages doesn't mean you have to read them. Maybe she will grow up one of these days.

WendyI
April 11th, 2014, 02:23 PM
Ok first...i'm sorry that you feel so down. I can totally relate and understand...but you need to take care of you and she obviously does not care about you. AND she had to learn it from someone so her mother isn't worth much more. You CAN pick your family IME...I've done it. I keep the ones who love me close and the others I have NOTHING to do with. People will treat you exactly how you LET them treat you. Block her number ...nasty texting... done!! No one needs or deserves that crap...especially not after all you have done for them and how they abused not only your generosity but their dog as well. YOU are NOT the one in the wrong here! Do NOT let her put this on you! You should be indignant not hurt! (((HUGS)))

Slokarma
April 11th, 2014, 02:26 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that this person is giving your such a hard time. You offered her a hand and she bit it.

I would not give her the satisfaction of her seeing how miserable she is making me. Don't read the text's, steel yourself to get this house empty and be done with her. And after she's gone, you will be able to grieve your loss...hopefully it's a temporary loss, but it is a loss.

Rely on the ones who care to get you thru this.

I'm sorry you are hurting.

Pandabear
April 11th, 2014, 03:55 PM
Block her number. Hell, block all their numbers. Just because they are family, doesn't mean you have to put up with them.

Simply Quilting
April 11th, 2014, 05:05 PM
{{{HUGS}}} I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know this is going to sound very odd. But for now, save every text message that she sends to you. (You don't have to read them.) And any that you have sent to her. The reason why I say this is if there is any trouble or you need to take out a restraining order - you have proof of her behavior and threats that you can show which can make it easier to get the restraining order or if you ended up in court. I don't know about your police dept but some police departments, you can explain what is going on and they will step up patrols in your area.

Stand strong. We are cheering you on. If you need to vent, you're welcome to do it here.

asta
April 11th, 2014, 05:19 PM
So sorry you need to deal with all this. I do believe you are doing the right thing, yes, block the phone #'s. Do not let these "family" members bully you. Just to protect yourself I would have a neutral party there while packing nieces things, even have it video taped for your protection, I would get suggestions from the police or maybe even your local minister for names of those who can help you with the packing.
Best of luck, saying a prayer for you and sending hugs.

GuitarGramma
April 11th, 2014, 07:41 PM
I'd like to ditto everyone's advice here and add one more piece:

When you go into your extra house to pack up her things, FIRST video EVERYTHING. Open every drawer and every cabinet. Take a neighbor as a witness that you took video of everything. Then have your neighbor video EVERYTHING that you put into boxes until you seal up the box with tape. Have your neighbor sign across the tape and onto the box with a Sharpie.

Your niece is already threatening you, and you have to assume that she could make good on her threats. So grab your best friend and a cheap video camera and protect yourself. Please.

I wish you all the best during this trying and difficult time.

Hulamoon
April 11th, 2014, 07:43 PM
Good idea Toni!

alliek
April 11th, 2014, 09:20 PM
Breathe, pack up, let them get their stuff, block their number. Forget it. Smile and hug those you love and who love and respect you. Prayers for your peace of heart and mind.

WendyI
April 13th, 2014, 01:50 AM
I'd like to ditto everyone's advice here and add one more piece:

When you go into your extra house to pack up her things, FIRST video EVERYTHING. Open every drawer and every cabinet. Take a neighbor as a witness that you took video of everything. Then have your neighbor video EVERYTHING that you put into boxes until you seal up the box with tape. Have your neighbor sign across the tape and onto the box with a Sharpie.

Your niece is already threatening you, and you have to assume that she could make good on her threats. So grab your best friend and a cheap video camera and protect yourself. Please.

I wish you all the best during this trying and difficult time.

BRILLIANT!!!