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View Full Version : A glimmer of adoption hope



cyndiofthevortex
April 9th, 2014, 08:11 PM
As some of you know, my family is losing a child we had hoped to adopt after having him for one year now. His paternal grandmother, who had been completely supportive of our daughter adopting him for 11 months, changed her mind at the last minute. Little C is bonded to us as much as any birth child. At age 2, the current transition has been very difficult and confusing for him.

The hope for us comes from the Guardian ad litem, who was never consulted concerning Grammie Sue's adoption of C. The guardian ad litem! C's only voice in all of this! Now that she knows (it was casually mentioned to her two weeks ago by DD, who assumed she knew) we are hoping she will intervene. Sue has been asked to come in to "talk" to the social workers on Monday. The permanency meeting is only in two weeks, then C is gone forever.

Just so you know, we are completely in favor of kin adoption. But 11 months in to a 12 month period is unfair (in our opinion, wrong) for everyone involved.

We are heartbroken at losing this little boy and any prayers for us all would be welcome, no matter what the outcome.

songbird857
April 9th, 2014, 08:18 PM
Oh boy... praying for a good outcome!

alliek
April 9th, 2014, 08:18 PM
Oh Cyndi, Prayers being said now and will continue. I hope and pray this little boy will be able to stay. God Bless you and strengthen you all. Psalm55:22

EmmaB
April 9th, 2014, 08:25 PM
Wow! I can't believe the GAL was not aware of this! I hope it changes the situation in your dd's favor. You just never know. This whole situation is just terrible. It just ludicrous that this family member is just now stepping up to bat.

Still keeping your family in my thoughts

HandsOffItsMine
April 9th, 2014, 08:32 PM
We have been praying that God bring someone in the Legal System up to represent Little C...maybe this is it. We sure hope so, we'll continue to keep praying that C will be allowed to become part of B & J's family. I don't understand how she didn't know about all of this, it's unbelievable but then you hear about this happening.

I wish I was closer to you to come and share a hug/coffee with you! Hang in there, we love all of you!

Huggers, The Schmers and The Stegers

toggpine
April 9th, 2014, 09:26 PM
As I am finding out, they don't know a lot.

Prayers for your family & C that this will work out in his & your favor. My heart truly goes out to your family in this situation. Many blessings should be heaped on the family for taking in these children and loving them like their own. I can only hope that our boys had such loving care in the last few days.

We have our own appointment with the court tomorrow. Hopefully by tomorrow afternoon we'll have our grandson and his half-brother placed in our custody.

I just can't grasp how people can treat children this way.

dwil23
April 9th, 2014, 10:04 PM
Oh Cyndi, Yes I will pray that something good will come of this. I just can't understand why the grandmother would want to take him away - especially since Bethany is willing for her to be in his life as his grandmother. Just does not make any sense. Praying that God will intervene in a mighty way.

(((HUGS)))

auntiemern
April 9th, 2014, 10:12 PM
Continuing prayers Cyndi. You have to believe that God's plan is better than any here on Earth. Just because she is kin, does not make her the best choice. I must say we were so very lucky in the judge that we had with all of Gabe's legal issues. His GAL would not have been my first choice...but it all worked out the way it should have in the end. You have to believe.

cyndiofthevortex
April 9th, 2014, 10:27 PM
Continuing prayers Cyndi. You have to believe that God's plan is better than any here on Earth. You have to believe.
I do believe. It's just hard to accept that maybe C being taken away from us is God's best plan. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I just wish if he did have to be taken from us, that it had happened before we all fell in love with each other. Trusting God sure can be tough for me sometimes, especially when I'm in pain. Like now. We've all been there, I know. Thanks everyone for understanding and supporting me.

ilive2craft2
April 9th, 2014, 10:33 PM
Continued prayers for all of you.

bkthomas
April 9th, 2014, 10:47 PM
Prayers....Always......

Kateskloset
April 9th, 2014, 10:56 PM
Will be praying for your family, I know when my SIL and BIL were fostering, she said when they were taken away to live with family, that was the hardest thing she ever had to do. Once they adopted Londyn, they stopped fostering.

tennesseesews
April 9th, 2014, 11:19 PM
Praying for you.

Ginny B
April 9th, 2014, 11:23 PM
Oh, Cyndi, I hope that the guardian ad litem will see fit to keep C with you. Couldn't they work something out where his grandmother can still be in his life just as his grandma and you as his parents? Is that possible? I will be sending up prayers for the situation.

EsGrandma
April 9th, 2014, 11:44 PM
Praying for you and your family -

pcbatiks
April 10th, 2014, 12:22 AM
Hoping and praying this new development will work in your families favor. Been thinking about all of you.

Miss Sheri
April 10th, 2014, 02:32 AM
Sweet Cyndi, my heart swells, just thinking about you and that sweet little darling. You have my faith, prayers, hope, and love.

stationarymom
April 10th, 2014, 02:34 AM
I'm glad the gal is aware now. they should have been all along. someone dropped the ball. i am thinking about you and hope all goes well.

cyndiofthevortex
April 10th, 2014, 06:21 AM
Couldn't they work something out where his grandmother can still be in his life just as his grandma and you as his parents? My DD and SIL practice open adoption. The birth parents of their two boys have limited visitation opportunities and the boys' two grandmothers have unlimited access to the boys. We are one big happy family, celebrating events and holidays together. Sue would join us in this life and would always (within reason) be a part of C's life, of our lives. She knows this and has known it since the beginning.

rebeccas-sewing
April 10th, 2014, 06:27 AM
This has been so heartbreaking. Please keep us posted on the outcome. Do you have any idea how the little guy is doing under his grandmother's care? So unfair to do this to this child. The emotional trauma being caused is just sooooo wrong in my opinion.

Suzette
April 10th, 2014, 07:02 AM
Praying daily for this situation. Hugs!

Madeforyouinma11
April 10th, 2014, 08:18 AM
Will keep you and little "C" in my prayers. Such a sad situation for everyone.

cyndiofthevortex
April 10th, 2014, 12:40 PM
Do you have any idea how the little guy is doing under his grandmother's care?Sue tells B that he cries a lot and spends most of the time asking for Mommy and to go home. Sue calls B when C is really upset so that B can comfort him over the phone. He is hysterical at bedtime and wakes up throughout the night calling for Mommy. He is now staying over there 3 nights a week. He comes home exhausted and he does not let B out of his sight for a moment. He has to sleep in a bed right next to their bed. It is taking a toll on him and we hate to see it.

pcbatiks
April 10th, 2014, 01:53 PM
Sue tells B that he cries a lot and spends most of the time asking for Mommy and to go home. Sue calls B when C is really upset so that B can comfort him over the phone. He is hysterical at bedtime and wakes up throughout the night calling for Mommy. He is now staying over there 3 nights a week. He comes home exhausted and he does not let B out of his sight for a moment. He has to sleep in a bed right next to their bed. It is taking a toll on him and we hate to see it.

Cyndi, does the Guardian ad litem know about how stressed C is at his grandmother's house? If she/he didn't know about the grandmother's request to take him maybe they don't know about other details either. I hope and pray that it makes a difference.

cyndiofthevortex
April 10th, 2014, 03:24 PM
Cyndi, does the Guardian ad litem know about how stressed C is at his grandmother's house?As far as I know, the GAL does not know. She has not talked to Sue or B. The social workers may know but they also have not asked B about how C is doing during this transition time. Maybe Sue has told them and maybe not. This is the least professional job we've seen the state do so far in the years since B has been fostering. Maybe it's common but this has not been our experience.

To add to the confusion, C's natural mother is in denial that her parental rights are about to be terminated, so at every visit C is being told that he is going to come and live with her very soon. He sees her twice a week and comes home crying as well. This is all breaking our hearts.

Hulamoon
April 10th, 2014, 04:14 PM
Do they ever talk to the child? Seems like that would be big factor. Or is that only real on TV shows? Sue should already realize how much this is hurting him.

EmmaB
April 10th, 2014, 04:39 PM
My heart just breaks for C. So confusing for him. His biological family seems to be causing more harm than good.

Wwena
April 10th, 2014, 05:23 PM
Keeping my fingers crossed!!

WendyI
April 10th, 2014, 06:08 PM
Sue tells B that he cries a lot and spends most of the time asking for Mommy and to go home. Sue calls B when C is really upset so that B can comfort him over the phone. He is hysterical at bedtime and wakes up throughout the night calling for Mommy. He is now staying over there 3 nights a week. He comes home exhausted and he does not let B out of his sight for a moment. He has to sleep in a bed right next to their bed. It is taking a toll on him and we hate to see it.

This is so incredibly heartbreaking to read. That poor wee boy. :'(

WendyI
April 10th, 2014, 06:09 PM
and can't you contact this Guardian person directly and tell her what is going on? This is so terribly unfair! :(

MRoy
April 10th, 2014, 06:21 PM
Poor little boy...so much emotional trauma for him.

MayinJerset
April 11th, 2014, 01:09 AM
Poor little boy...so much emotional trauma for him. Yes it is and prayers that he is back with B soon.

bkthomas
April 11th, 2014, 02:31 AM
Oh Cyndi, I am so sorry to hear this.......I haven't looked at this thread in a couple days......extra prayers headed your way.
Hope that B talks to GAL soon!

Jen7
April 11th, 2014, 03:02 AM
Cyndi, you know where my thoughts are, all my prayers for your family.

Sheena
April 11th, 2014, 05:08 PM
Wow! I can't believe the GAL was not aware of this! I hope it changes the situation in your dd's favor. You just never know. This whole situation is just terrible. It just ludicrous that this family member is just now stepping up to bat.

Still keeping your family in my thoughts

I quite agree!

Simply Quilting
April 11th, 2014, 09:27 PM
Prayers for this sweet little boy and all that he is going through, for your family as they are dealing with the upset, and wisedom for the GAL and others who are making decisions.