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PeggyM
March 2nd, 2014, 10:18 PM
I hope I can pull this off. My DGD lives a block from me. The yet-to-be-born is an hour away. How do I give equal time???? I so don't want to be my MIL who never bonded with my second daughter.

ilive2craft2
March 2nd, 2014, 10:30 PM
Congratulations! You will do fine! At least you are aware of the situation - that is the first step. :) With facetime or skype, you can still be a presence in their world on a regular basis. Also, an hour is not a bad trip of an evening after work for an hour or two of time together - just takes planning.

My inlaws lived an hour away and my parents lived in our town. We both made sure that our son had time at their house - he usually went for a week each summer and we all went over quite often and did things together. They also came our way to see him and do things with him at school, etc. My inlaws were also much older and got to the point they couldn't drive that far, but my dh's cousin jumped in and became chauffeur. My son usually had 4 or 5 grandparents at grandparents day - he always shared his with his classmates who didn't have any come to school. :)

Grandma G
March 2nd, 2014, 11:59 PM
I hope I can pull this off. My DGD lives a block from me. The yet-to-be-born is an hour away. How do I give equal time???? I so don't want to be my MIL who never bonded with my second daughter.

Where there's a will there's a way. Both my grandmothers died before I was born so I never knew a grandmother's love. I was determined that my grandchildren would have that love. My grandchildren all live not quite an hour from me. My son & daughter-in-law have two precious girls and my other son a precious boy. I knew early on that because my kids are all so busy that I would have to put forth more than what I thought was normal effort to be sure I was equally involved in their lives. Since my grandson was 2 months old, and he is now 8, he has spent just about every other weekend with his grandfather and I. I drive and pick him up and take him home. He tells us that our home also belongs to him and makes comments on any changes we make here. My granddaughters beg to stay with us and when they are here they don't want to leave. I often go over and babysit when my kids schedules call them away from home. My daughter-in-law tells me all the time how grateful they are that we are such a big part of their girls lives. And they love having a break to have a date night once and a while, too...

Bottom line - you are probably going to have to make the extra effort and there will be times it might not be convenient but the rewards will more than compensate for the inconvenience. Your children and grandchildren will love you for it.

Pandabear
March 3rd, 2014, 12:42 AM
Congratulations!!

Don't worry. You will make it work. My mom lives a couple states away and we only see her twice a year but my mom and my 15 year old son have a great relationship. Of course, it helps that Grandma texts :)

auntiemern
March 3rd, 2014, 01:27 AM
Congrats. You will do just fine. You already have the right mind set.

BellasQuilts
March 3rd, 2014, 02:32 AM
Where there is a will, there is a way! Like Grandma G said, the effort will all be worth it!

Simply Quilting
March 3rd, 2014, 02:34 AM
Congratulations :)

Miss Sheri
March 3rd, 2014, 02:50 AM
Peggy, congratulations! Someday, I will have grandbabies too. But I can at least share with you something my darling MIL has done for all of her grandchildren, whether they lived near or far. Every single week, usually on Sunday evenings, we get a phone call from grandma [and grandpa before he died]. She/they would take time and interest to talk to every single member of the family, even if it was a new born infant. She has come to all the significant events in her grandchildren's lives, taken vacations with them, and laughed and joked and worked along side, loved, read to, swam with, took silly pictures with and just loved every one of them. Every single one of her 10 grand kids, and 7 [soon to be 9] great grands kids know and adore Grandma Judy. Her children and children in law adore her too.

MayinJerset
March 3rd, 2014, 02:55 AM
Congrats,, it will all work out well because you want it to and will do whatever you can get bond with the soon to be born new grandchild.

I also didn't have any grandmothers and my parents and DH's parents weren't great grandparents. Mostly they resented we moved to Jersey 45 minutes away from Brooklyn and making a 'trip' to our house was a big chore for all of them. DH and I wanted to be close to our grandkids and we are, I think that it is the wanting that makes it happen.

Our 2 oldest sons live about an hour from us and we bonded with their girls without a problem when they were young, coming over with their parents for visits and us to their houses, little trips to parks, lunches, etc., attending their activities, lots of dance shows, sports, school stuff way up into college. Youngest son lives in Mass and we bonded with his 2 also because when they visited us or we visited them it was for a few days at time. So whatever the situation you'll find away to be close to both your grand kids.

stationarymom
March 3rd, 2014, 03:11 AM
congratulations! i'm sure if you are already thinking about that it won't be a problem. but if you are able you could always make a point to make dates with your grandchildren.