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Meli
February 13th, 2014, 01:00 AM
Many of you are reading my posts and following me along on my "what the heck is wrong with my right ta-ta" journey. You are giving me words of encouragement and sending your prayers. I know they're working, and I want to share with you HOW I know they're working!

I am a panic now, panic later, panic after it's done then panic some more kind of person. Just ask DH. To say I'm emotional is an understatement. Not necessarily a trait I'm proud of, just how I'm wired.

A couple weeks ago, I went for a mammogram. After seeing a series of images, the radiologist asked for a few more. Then off to ultrasound, where the technician kept going back to the same spot. She finished up, said she was going to share her findings with the radiologist, then he'd be in to talk to me about the results. This sounded somewhat ominous, so I laid there on the table, thinking about the worst case possibilities and how I would respond if told I have cancer. (FYI, due to family history and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I'm at extremely elevated risk for this). I have maintained for years that if I get it in one breast, I'm going to have a double mastectomy. Starting with that thought, I asked myself if I still felt that way. No. Good, keep one of the girls. Next, my hair. It's thinning (thank you, again, PCOS). Radiation and chemo would likely make the rest of it fall out. Would I get a wig? Maybe. A bandana? Perhaps. One of those stretchy terrycloth turban things? No. I would likely just go bald. Alright, how do I feel about that? I'm ok with it.

I went down the list of possible scenarios, one after another. And as I did this, a feeling of the most profound peace floated down on top of me, wrapped itself around me like a blanket. And a little voice whispered in my head that no matter what the outcome of all these tests, it is for a purpose and it will be alright. I've experienced this sort of peace before, and I know it only comes from one place: our Heavenly Father. Armed with this knowledge, I relaxed and let go.

So far, all the results have been of the "well, this test is normal but we still don't know what's causing the problem" variety. Ordinarily, I would be freaking out. But I still have my blanket, strengthened by and interwoven with the prayers of friends, family, loved ones, and strangers. Yesterday at the MRI, there were a few times when I felt panic niggling me at the edges, but it didn't take over. Instead, I found myself humming hymns of praise.

If nothing else, this experience is strengthening my faith in God's Grace and His unending love for his hopelessly flawed daughter. I bear witness to you that He DOES hear and answer prayers, and that the power of prayer can, will, and does move mountains.

JCY
February 13th, 2014, 01:08 AM
What a great testimony! May you continue to sense His peace through this experience. God bless, JCY

Monique
February 13th, 2014, 09:54 AM
Good for you. Prayers continued.

Jean Sewing Machine
February 13th, 2014, 09:56 AM
Amazing! I am so glad you have this comfort to see you through whatever lies ahead.

PeggyM
February 13th, 2014, 09:59 AM
Meli, you're in my prayers.

dwil23
February 13th, 2014, 10:09 AM
Bless you, Meli. You are an inspiration. Praying for the doctors to find out what is wrong and a speedy recovery.

MayinJerset
February 13th, 2014, 10:10 AM
My your calming Peace continue, as will our prayers for you. Hugs, May

pcbatiks
February 13th, 2014, 10:18 AM
Meli........thanks for sharing this with us.........prays for continued peace.