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toggpine
February 1st, 2014, 01:09 AM
I am trying to adjust to my husband being home on Fridays. It can mess with my day. I'm not always good with that. Grocery shopping takes about twice as long, and items are purchased that would not find their way into my cart if I were alone. There are stops that I wouldn't make along the way there or back. Despite that, we have had fun.
He has a long commute, therefore he leaves early and arrives later after battling through 1.5 to 2 hours of traffic. When he does get home he's tired, so we don't get much time before the woodstove had lulled him to sleep. Lately work has been slow, so he's pulling four 10 hour shifts instead of five. He still gets his forty in, but saves a day's commute in gas & bridge tolls.

After a visit with a friend who had recently lost her husband of 43 years, I am trying to be grateful for this time. I am trying to see this as an unexpected blessing instead of a thing to be endured. It seems to be working. I'm sure that by mid-Spring folks will be needing more marine repairs and he'll be back to 45 - 50 hours a week. For now, our daughter gets to have Daddy put her on the bus and meet her when she gets home. I have an extra hand lugging in those groceries, and we are getting some work done that would normally have waited for an already busy weekend.

So tonight's question:
Are there things that may have seemed like a burden or a hassle for you that have turned out to be better that you thought?

pcbatiks
February 1st, 2014, 01:27 AM
Well.....Cathy......good question....you're going to make us think a little harder tonight! :D I'll have to think on this one a little. Need to finish placing an order before midnight......then I'll be back.

Kateskloset
February 1st, 2014, 01:31 AM
I guess I kinda feel the same way. My husband works 2 miles from our home, I get up with him to "chat" at 6 am, see him off and maybe get another hour of sleep. At 11:15 he comes home everyday for lunch, peering into the kitchen as he walks in to make sure I have him something fixed to eat. I usually do. Then he gets off work at 4, home by 4:15, expecting his dinner. While my job allows me flexibility, and I try to work so I can be home most of those "key" hours, sometimes I am not. But I get a streak of anxiety sometimes when he walks in and think "Didn't I just see you, and didn't I just fix you a meal?" But then as he talks to me about his day and I realize that I am his best friend and he just wants to share his life, his day with me. He really likes spending time with me and for that I become grateful.

bkthomas
February 1st, 2014, 01:58 AM
Yep! Attitude of Gratitude!

Changes everything!

bubba
February 1st, 2014, 02:03 AM
Years ago, Monkeyman had a job where he travelled by plane almost weekly, but was always home on the weekends. I normally work weekends, so we did not see much of each other when he was home. The year our oldest grandgirl was born, 1981, was awful for me. I was raising a six year old, my husband was gone, and our daughter had a c-section. I packed up myself and the boy and we moved to her house for two weeks.

The day the baby turned a week old, she quit breathing and we spent a long night in the hospital. Thankfully, she survived. One week later, stress caught up to the baby's dad and he tried to kill himself by overdosing.....another long night in the hospital. I called Monkeyman and told him I needed him home. This was the one and only time I did that in seven years of him doing that job. He called his boss, said there was a family emergency and he had to come home. He was in Dallas. She told him no. He told her he had already talked to the customer, told them what was going on, rescheduled everything and they had no problem with him leaving midweek. His boss still told him no. He told her, he was not calling to ask her permission, he was calling to tell her he was coming home. Two weeks later, they fired him for coming home.

The good side of this story is that this was in April. That September, he was scheduled to be at NYC working in or near the twin towers on 9-11. It was truly a blessing in disguise.

bkthomas
February 1st, 2014, 02:06 AM
Blessing in disguise for sure Pat!!!!

pcbatiks
February 1st, 2014, 02:33 AM
Years ago, Monkeyman had a job where he travelled by plane almost weekly, but was always home on the weekends. I normally work weekends, so we did not see much of each other when he was home. The year our oldest grandgirl was born, 1981, was awful for me. I was raising a six year old, my husband was gone, and our daughter had a c-section. I packed up myself and the boy and we moved to her house for two weeks.

The day the baby turned a week old, she quit breathing and we spent a long night in the hospital. Thankfully, she survived. One week later, stress caught up to the baby's dad and he tried to kill himself by overdosing.....another long night in the hospital. I called Monkeyman and told him I needed him home. This was the one and only time I did that in seven years of him doing that job. He called his boss, said there was a family emergency and he had to come home. He was in Dallas. She told him no. He told her he had already talked to the customer, told them what was going on, rescheduled everything and they had no problem with him leaving midweek. His boss still told him no. He told her, he was not calling to ask her permission, he was calling to tell her he was coming home. Two weeks later, they fired him for coming home.

The good side of this story is that this was in April. That September, he was scheduled to be at NYC working in or near the twin towers on 9-11. It was truly a blessing in disguise.

Wow....Pat........your story gave me chills. Definitely a blessing in disguise.

Genny
February 1st, 2014, 02:40 AM
Years ago, Monkeyman had a job where he travelled by plane almost weekly, but was always home on the weekends. I normally work weekends, so we did not see much of each other when he was home. The year our oldest grandgirl was born, 1981, was awful for me. I was raising a six year old, my husband was gone, and our daughter had a c-section. I packed up myself and the boy and we moved to her house for two weeks.

The day the baby turned a week old, she quit breathing and we spent a long night in the hospital. Thankfully, she survived. One week later, stress caught up to the baby's dad and he tried to kill himself by overdosing.....another long night in the hospital. I called Monkeyman and told him I needed him home. This was the one and only time I did that in seven years of him doing that job. He called his boss, said there was a family emergency and he had to come home. He was in Dallas. She told him no. He told her he had already talked to the customer, told them what was going on, rescheduled everything and they had no problem with him leaving midweek. His boss still told him no. He told her, he was not calling to ask her permission, he was calling to tell her he was coming home. Two weeks later, they fired him for coming home.

The good side of this story is that this was in April. That September, he was scheduled to be at NYC working in or near the twin towers on 9-11. It was truly a blessing in disguise.

This truly was a blessing in disguise!

bubba
February 1st, 2014, 03:17 AM
it still gives me goosebumps, everytime I think about it. We are lucky indeed!

auntiemern
February 1st, 2014, 03:38 AM
Actually, this is an interesting topic. It took me a nano second to know the answer. It would be Bubby (Gabe). I was dead set against DD having another child. She was a single mom with 2 already and pregnant by a guy I could not stand. So no, mom wasn't happy at all. I told her I didn't want to raise another one. Already caring for the DGD's 5 days a week. I had them more waking hours than she did. So I took a stand. If they were gonna do this, I was not helping raise this one. It was going to be their responsibility. And I stuck to it. I was at the hospital when he was born, and went to see him numerous times after he was born, before she went back to work. The 'father' wasn't working at all. On Sept 9, 2009 my DD's dad passed away. I was at the lake and rushed home to her. Her dads funeral wasn't going to be til the 13th, and her boss asked her if she could work on the 11th. She agreed to do just that. So, the night before I picked up the girls, as I had so many times before, and left Gabe there with his mom and his 'father'. She had to be at work at 7. She fed and changed Gabe before she left, and told 'him' that she was leaving, to listen for the baby. That was at 6:50. My oldest GD was in 1st grade. I got her up and ready for school, then drove her to the bus stop near DD's house. She got on the bus about 8:10. Some time between the time my DD left for work, and 8:20 my grand son was fighting for his life at the hands of a monster. We don't know what time anything actually happened or exactly what was done to him. We have our theories, based on the amount of injury, and a letter that the idiot had the nerve to send my DD. All he had to do was watch the baby. Not get my GD up and ready for school, and wake up the other GD, so they could go to the bus stop. Nope. Just watch Gabe.
For over 4 yrs now I have lived with the "what if I had just gotten all the kids". But I know it wouldn't have made a difference. It was going to happen sooner or later. We believe he had been abusing him the entire time, and no one realized it. She had talked to me about how easily he bruised, or so she thought, that she was going to call the doctor and have him checked out.
Anyway, that little guy has turned out to be more of a blessing to us (me and Pa) than we ever dreamed of. He is the sweetest, happiest little fellow. If not for the scars on his head and abdomen, feeling the shunt valve on top of his head, or him wearing glasses, you would never know anything had ever happened to him. He is truly a miracle, and I know that every time I look at him. God has special plans for my little man. Of that I have no doubt. He is a lover of animals and has a way with them you don't normally see in little boys that age. He is just a special kid, and his Granny loves him to the moon and back.

Granny Judy
February 1st, 2014, 05:08 AM
I'm not able to come up with an answer to this question.. Still trying to figure out some "whys". But I feel truly blessed and am very happy with my situation. Surrounded by love and warmth!! Maybe that is MY ANSWER..

snippet
February 1st, 2014, 05:34 AM
My answer is the opposite of y'alls. I was married for 16 years and having a terrible time. My husband and I had been in and out of marital counseling for years and nothing was working. I hated the idea of divorce and kept thinking that one more therapist/counselor/prayer would be the solution. I just couldn't give up. Finally I left him. I was dreading being a single mom, raising two little ones by myself.

But it turned out better than I thought. I'm very proud of my kids - they are great thinkers and compassionate young adults. I think I grew too.

Iris Girl
February 1st, 2014, 06:45 AM
Years ago, Monkeyman had a job where he travelled by plane almost weekly, but was always home on the weekends. I normally work weekends, so we did not see much of each other when he was home. The year our oldest grandgirl was born, 1981, was awful for me. I was raising a six year old, my husband was gone, and our daughter had a c-section. I packed up myself and the boy and we moved to her house for two weeks.

The day the baby turned a week old, she quit breathing and we spent a long night in the hospital. Thankfully, she survived. One week later, stress caught up to the baby's dad and he tried to kill himself by overdosing.....another long night in the hospital. I called Monkeyman and told him I needed him home. This was the one and only time I did that in seven years of him doing that job. He called his boss, said there was a family emergency and he had to come home. He was in Dallas. She told him no. He told her he had already talked to the customer, told them what was going on, rescheduled everything and they had no problem with him leaving midweek. His boss still told him no. He told her, he was not calling to ask her permission, he was calling to tell her he was coming home. Two weeks later, they fired him for coming home.

The good side of this story is that this was in April. That September, he was scheduled to be at NYC working in or near the twin towers on 9-11. It was truly a blessing in disguise.

This truely was a blessing and yes it also gave me chills reading this.

Iris Girl
February 1st, 2014, 06:50 AM
Yes for the past almost 2 years up to august of 2013 my hubby was out of work, on unemployment or part time jobs. It was very hard on us and the budget. It made me mad at times that I was working 3 jobs to help compensate. But when one got rough he just told me to get out of there he was my true support. Nice things was he took over some household chores like dishes I hate . In 2 years I never did a dish. He would bring all the clothes in I hung out and kinda fold them in his man style. Best thing of all He had a cup of hot tea or hot chocolate waiting for me when I got home every day. We made it through the rough spot and he has a wonderful job now. I miss my tea/chocolate when I get home. Because making it for yourself is NOT the same.

MayinJerset
February 1st, 2014, 09:49 AM
I saw the question hours ago but was too tired to think about it so I went back to sleep. Still no definite examples but I do believe in the theory that if one door closes another better one will soon open. That may be why whenever there were problems in the back of my mind I sort of knew someday, somehow something better will happen.