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easyquilts
September 22nd, 2013, 12:36 AM
Why do things seem do much worse at night? I was feeling very god about Michael today.... He met with our pastor, who gave him a number that only ten other people know.. They met at a local coffee shop, so it was very casual. It went well.

.. He is also doing well with his doctor... Thursdays session with her went very well.

But... It is going on midnight, and the worry and fear have returned full force... I want to run and get Michael, and keep him safe. He is my fourteen year old baby.... Always will be....as I have told him.....

I'm still in shock, I think. This all happened right out of the blue.... No warning... There it was....a severe anxiety disorder, along with an adjustment disorder.... Why? I just don't get it.... Can't wrap my mind around it. I just don't know what to do..... I feel so helpless in the face of such a thing. I just don't get it...

So... I sit here in the dead if night.... TV on..my sweet little Finn (see avatar) is curled up on my lap... Under his own small quilt... My sis is visiting... She, quite sensibly, went to bed hours ago.... Took her iPad, and got comfortable. I have not been able to go to bed at a decent hour for a while, now. My worry over Michael, has made it even harder to give up the day, and go to bed. Ambien, which I don't like to take, helps. I need to sneak into my bedroom..we gave it to Becky..and get the bottle....

Thanks for "listening"... It helps to articulate my fears.... And, I know you will listen...

ilive2craft2
September 22nd, 2013, 12:55 AM
Oh Sandy, the lack of sleep feeds the anxiety and the fears. Go get your bottle of ambien and get some good sleep - it will do you some good. You are doing everything a good grandma can in this situation - he is getting help on a number of levels. Everything gets labeled these days and I am not sure that is such a good thing. He is going through a lot, but kids are strong and resilient - with help he will figure out ways to handle it.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers. Hugs, Lisa

bkthomas
September 22nd, 2013, 12:56 AM
Hugs (((((Sandy)))))) and prayers......

pcbatiks
September 22nd, 2013, 01:04 AM
Lisa is right..........lack of sleep makes worries and fears seem even bigger. Hope you can rest tonight.

ksap
September 22nd, 2013, 01:17 AM
Sandy, I am so sorry that you are going through a difficult time with your grandson. It's normal to be more worried at night...that's when we are tired, the house is quiet, we aren't busy with the day anymore...our minds start to wander, the wheels start to turn and the worry sets in. I am sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way. Try to sleep, tomorrow will be a better day.

Mom23
September 22nd, 2013, 01:30 AM
Oh Sandy, you sound like me a few years ago. At that time I didn't have Ambien and my nights were horrible. Please, sneak in and get your medicine and get some sleep. I very much know what you are going through, and from that experience, I know everything will look better during daylight, and some good sleep. It sounds like sweet Michael is getting the help he needs, and during the night there is nothing you can do to help him. When bedtime comes put your worries in God's hands and try to put yourself first. You, and Michael, are in my thoughts and prayers.

Robin

cyndiofthevortex
September 22nd, 2013, 01:30 AM
I'll go right now and pray for you. I will pray for peace, strength and faith.

Take something and sleep, please. You need sleep for tomorrow.

easyquilts
September 22nd, 2013, 01:50 AM
Thank you...ll if you for responding... I did sneak ind find my little bottle of Ambien, and took one.

Our. Family trends wonderful evangelical church, with an exceptional new lead pastor....from Texas.... I love him dearly, because he has helped my family so much. He even came to my surprise birthday party last Sunday.

But, I an very much a Catholic t heart ( I ttend mass ss often as I can), so i plan to walk everyday, and pray the rosary for Michael. A novena wouldn't hurt, either.... I'll. storm heven anyway I can....

I know many of you have precious grandchildren of your own, so you get it.... I always tell new grandmothers to be, that they're about to enter into a whole dimension of love....

I cried reading your sweet posts.... I wa so touched your obvious oncern and caring.

Love you all.

Precious1
September 22nd, 2013, 02:15 AM
Sandy, you have prayed and you need to trust and have faith in God that Micheal will be ok. Remember when the disciples had just witnessed a miracle with Jesus and the were crossing the sea. Jesus was in the helm, asleep, on his pillow. The storm was raging, that the disciples thought that the boat was going to sink. They woke Jesus up and claimed, "don't you care that we may perish? What did he say to the storm? "Peace, be still!" We need to apply that to our daily storms. We need to remember that God promised he will never leave us nor forsake us. He is walking or sitting right next to you relaxing. So just relax with Him. Know that when He is ready, He will say, peace, be still. Also know that if we stay faithful and trusting in God though this storms, then God will be faithful to us and bless us. Just as you are being a loving parent, how much more of a greater parent is He, who knows everything. Right now, God is probably saying, Sandy, if you don't relax and trust me, I can't get my angels to do their work. So sit still in God. I promise, He knows your every need and will take care of this storm.

I also will say a prayer for you and your grandson, Michael.

ksap
September 22nd, 2013, 02:51 AM
Sandy,

I will join you in praying a rosary for sweet Michael.

Here is a Bible verse that always brings me such comfort:

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." Matthew 11:28-30

Mchelem
September 22nd, 2013, 03:24 AM
Sandy, you have prayed and you need to trust and have faith in God that Micheal will be ok. Remember when the disciples had just witnessed a miracle with Jesus and the were crossing the sea. Jesus was in the helm, asleep, on his pillow. The storm was raging, that the disciples thought that the boat was going to sink. They woke Jesus up and claimed, "don't you care that we may perish? What did he say to the storm? "Peace, be still!" We need to apply that to our daily storms. We need to remember that God promised he will never leave us nor forsake us. He is walking or sitting right next to you relaxing. So just relax with Him. Know that when He is ready, He will say, peace, be still. Also know that if we stay faithful and trusting in God though this storms, then God will be faithful to us and bless us. Just as you are being a loving parent, how much more of a greater parent is He, who knows everything. Right now, God is probably saying, Sandy, if you don't relax and trust me, I can't get my angels to do their work. So sit still in God. I promise, He knows your every need and will take care of this storm.

I also will say a prayer for you and your grandson, Michael.



Oh my gosh, I know this wasn't for me, but thank you so much. *I* needed this tonight.

easyquilts
September 22nd, 2013, 05:57 AM
Sandy, you have prayed and you need to trust and have faith in God that Micheal will be ok. Remember when the disciples had just witnessed a miracle with Jesus and the were crossing the sea. Jesus was in the helm, asleep, on his pillow. The storm was raging, that the disciples thought that the boat was going to sink. They woke Jesus up and claimed, "don't you care that we may perish? What did he say to the storm? "Peace, be still!" We need to apply that to our daily storms. We need to remember that God promised he will never leave us nor forsake us. He is walking or sitting right next to you relaxing. So just relax with Him. Know that when He is ready, He will say, peace, be still. Also know that if we stay faithful and trusting in God though this storms, then God will be faithful to us and bless us. Just as you are being a loving parent, how much more of a greater parent is He, who knows everything. Right now, God is probably saying, Sandy, if you don't relax and trust me, I can't get my angels to do their work. So sit still in God. I promise, He knows your every need and will take care of this storm.

I also will say a prayer for you and your grandson, Michael.


Thank you for reminding me to be more trustful..... I know I want to fix things myself.... My way, but, His away is always better.

easyquilts
September 22nd, 2013, 06:04 AM
Sandy,

I will join you in praying a rosary for sweet Michael.

Here is a Bible verse that always brings me such comfort:

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." Matthew 11:28-30


Oh thank you, Karin.... That will be a great comfort to me. I have to admit that I have been neglectful of my rosary, but I am well aware of the power of that prayer....especially when prayed with others.

THANK YOU.

CrazyMtnLady
September 22nd, 2013, 11:54 AM
Prayers being said for you and your family.

Lindagie
September 22nd, 2013, 01:42 PM
I will do the same for you. I always forget the mysteries, but I don't think that will make a difference. I know what you are going through; anxiety and panic attacks are a strange and scary thing to understand, for the person experiencing them and also for the people trying to help them through it. I'm so glad that you all have such wonderful support around you.

HdWench
September 22nd, 2013, 04:28 PM
Panic attacks and anxiety are so much worse when you have not rested to build up the Seritonine (spelling?) that builds when our bodies sleep! Please turn your worries over to god. I used to think God never gave us more than we can handle, then when I thought he gave me way too much for my shoulders, a friend said - God never gives you more than you can handle Debbie, you just need to turn some of it over to him (((((Sandy)))) Turn some of your load over, his shoulders can take our burdens off. Take your Ambien while laying in bed and please know we are praying for you and your family - Yes, once you have grandchildren it makes being a parent look Easy haha! Good night, get your rest and Seratonine level built back up :-)