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mom4him
September 7th, 2013, 12:42 AM
I have not had much time for anything other than necessary this week. Got back from our mini vaccation on Monday afternoon. I am so thankful for that time as some things came out about my youngest daughter that really needed to be heard and dealt with. I am a rather old mom for a 12 and 13 yr old and have really felt at a loss with some of the things. So much hurt, so much needed forgiveness, so much healing needs to take place. My heart has just been in heavy mode most of the week.

We started school on Monday and to say it was a really rough start would be putting it very mildly. My youngest son took difficult and expounded on it. By the time we were through the morning I would have honestly put him in public school if I had felt it was an options. NOT! So we have forged on. Wed and Thursday were better, today pretty rough again but not like Tuesday.

My washer broke on the day before we were to leave for vacation. It took me all afternoon to get the last load of clothes done so I could pack. That was interesting but the more interesting thing was it was still broke when we came back. You know how it is when you leave and your house is a mess, you secretly hope someone will come in and clean it for you BUT it just simply never happens? Well, that was the washer. Borrowed our renters for one load and finally got an estimate on the fixing of the thing. WOW! It was going to be $250 min. and no guaranty that it would totally fix it. They had a new one on sale for $300, will let us pay it off in 3 monthly payment so home we came with it. The good news is I have a washer that works. Much smaller than my old one but I can deal with smaller loads as long as it cleans and it seems to be doing a good job of that.

I would really appreciate it if any of you who are prayers would join with me for my children's healing and for wisdom for myself.

I have missed being on here and sort of keeping up with you all but know I have to stay focused on my family at this time.

ilive2craft2
September 7th, 2013, 12:49 AM
Sandy, glad you got away for a bit and had time to deal with things during that time. You know we are all here for you any time you need to chat or vent. I think it is amazing all that you do for your family and I didn't even realize that you home schooled the 2 youngest. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

55184

Glad that the washer was able to be replaced and took one item off of your list. I hate when appliances break - you never know if you should try the expensive fix hoping that will be it for awhile. With the cost of a new one just $50 more than the estimate with no guarantee it would work, I think you did the right thing.

pcbatiks
September 7th, 2013, 12:51 AM
Sandy.......sorry that you are dealing with such a heavy heart right now! When it concerns our children it is always more stressful. Will be praying.

Lisapc
September 7th, 2013, 12:58 AM
When our children struggle we ache, one of the sorrows of being a good mother. I am grateful you had some time away and know that I am always praying for you and your family. You are a special woman with a big heart. So glad you were able to get a washer, how could function without one with a houseful of people?

BellasQuilts
September 7th, 2013, 01:08 AM
Saying a prayer - know the feeling.

lilmouse
September 7th, 2013, 01:13 AM
Praying for you and your heavy heart......things will get better!

KathyCrofoot
September 7th, 2013, 01:15 AM
To watch your children struggle is difficult. I'm praying that your load will be lifted and that your heavy heart will be lighter.

SallyO'Sews
September 7th, 2013, 01:25 AM
Sandy, here is my prayer for you: That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power. (Ephesians 1:17 - 19) May you be strengthened in spirit, soul, and body by the joy of the Lord, may you have the peace that passes understanding, and may God's presence fill your home and surround you and your children, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Blessings, dear one. ~ Sally \0/

Sew Perfect
September 7th, 2013, 01:44 AM
Awe, you do need a hug. :icon_hug:

dwil23
September 7th, 2013, 01:51 AM
Sandy, here is my prayer for you: That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power. (Ephesians 1:17 - 19) May you be strengthened in spirit, soul, and body by the joy of the Lord, may you have the peace that passes understanding, and may God's presence fill your home and surround you and your children, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Blessings, dear one. ~ Sally \0/

Agreeing in prayer for you.

Amen.

(((HUGS)))

easyquilts
September 7th, 2013, 01:56 AM
Sandy.... I am so sorry your heart is heavy with worry and concern for your children.... Honestly, there really is nothing so heart rendering than worry over a child, or grandchild, no matter how old they are. Your life just seems to be held in suspension until whatever it is is resolved.

We are here for you... When thungs get rough, just look down to your right hand.... We will be collectively holding it. Praying for you...

Suzette
September 7th, 2013, 09:24 AM
Sandy, you and your children are in my prayers. My heart goes out to you. The old saying, "you're only as happy as your least happy child", is so very true, especially for us mothers, isn't it?

Hugs to you!! I can't think of a tougher job than being a mother. But then again, that's why God gave that job to women - we are pretty tough cookies!

Bubby
September 7th, 2013, 09:44 AM
Care for your family and yourself first, Sandy. I'm standing with you in prayer for a healing all around. Hugs, Barb

Mom23
September 7th, 2013, 10:12 AM
Sandy,

I'm so sorry you have a heavy heart. I've learned this parenting thing aint for sissies!!! As always, I'm praying for you.

Blessings,
Robin

Carolyn23
September 7th, 2013, 11:04 AM
So understand a mother's heavy heart. You and yours will be in my prayers.

Lilly
September 7th, 2013, 11:24 AM
Sandy, I am so blessed that you didn't just ignore or look past this difficulty with your daughter. It takes such courage to face the problem and work through it. We are all walking through this with you and hopefully that makes the burden more bearable. I will add you to my prayer list and remember you and hold you up often during the next days. We are knocking on the gates for you. Let us know how you're doing in a few days. - Lilly

MayinJerset
September 7th, 2013, 12:29 PM
55245Thought you could use this right about now, May in Jersey

mom4him
September 7th, 2013, 01:55 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you, each and everyone! I so appreciate the prayers and words of encouragement.
This whole mothering adopted children is so much different than mothering birth children because there are so many more emotions involved. I have always tried to keep the words about their birth mother positive and truthful but my daughter right now seems pretty hateful toward her.
Their birth mother had many opportunities to get back on track but just simply never could seem to stay there long enough. That along with the fact that she wanted her daughter but despised her son and was never very secretive about not really wanting him resulted in termination. They would not split the kids. I was there during many of the visits and saw the coldness toward at that time her 10 month old son. At the same time she tried to get close to her daughter but daughter repeatedly turned her back on the birth mother. She was not 2 yet. It was like even then she realized the abandonment that had taken place there.

The feeling that she is going through concerning this and other things are resulting in her hurting herself. I really do not know how to help her with these feelings other than to be there, listen, encourage forgiveness and pray pray pray! I have suggested we find a councilor but at this point she is very opposed to that idea.

Klasien
September 7th, 2013, 03:24 PM
Oh dear Sandy, I feel for you!
You are a strong woman and you are not alone, we are here for you whenever you need us!

Sending a huge hug your way, with prayers and love!

(((((((hugs))))))))

auntiemern
September 7th, 2013, 03:33 PM
Sending prayers up. I have been down that rough road with kids. Don't know the circumstances, but I have been through it all, between my DD and the steps.

shannonsaulter
September 7th, 2013, 03:35 PM
Sandy I am right there with you in the hard beginning week of school...((HUGS)) and prayers are with you!

GrammaBabs
September 7th, 2013, 03:46 PM
Hi Sandy....just want you to know that you are not alone... I live with 60+'s and there is almost no one without some sort of challenge or tradgedy it seems now...what has happened.... you are special for adopting these children..they are lucky to have you.... You've got it right...just BE THERE....and LISTEN... we've had a struggle with my son for over 10 years.. he never gives up, but it takes it's toll, just know your "doing the best you can"... it's all we can do..enjoy the good moments...we are all praying for you............ hugs, Barbara

Lilly
September 7th, 2013, 04:19 PM
Sandy - if the "hurting" is caused by anxiety - and that can be really difficult to see - there are really good drugs out there. Don't ask me how I know. But my dd said she never knew she was anxious because she had never had a day in her whole life when she wasn't anxious - it was her norm. When we finally realized - through great family counseling for her ED - that all her outbursts and difficulties with holidays and all the other stuff was anxiety based it was so eye-opening. I still have to stop and say "Wait Wait - she isn't trying to be controlling and fickle and and and - she is anxious. I still screw up lots but getting to the bottom of her struggle has really helped all of us to be more loving and patient. I AM NOT saying that this is her problem but only that it could be. Praying for you for sure.

aqua-teal71
September 7th, 2013, 05:14 PM
I know how you feel. I started homeschooling mine after i retired from the AF up in SD. There were days i would go outside and pray , GOD< please dont let me kill one of them. Did it for 6 years. They got an education and so did i.
Honey, I am praying for you. I have walked your shoes and know your frustration.

Beakkmom
September 7th, 2013, 10:29 PM
Sandy, heartfelt prayers for you and your beloved family. We homeschooled, which was a joy and a challenge. My dearest sister homeschooled her adopted children as well. We cried together and prayed much, her adopted ones had been rejected, and had issues to work through. We know God is faithful, and will sustain you through these hard times.

I will keep you on my prayer list.

Lin

Doloris
September 7th, 2013, 10:42 PM
Wouldn't it be nice if all kids came with a manual like our sewing machines. Then we would know exactly how to handle things that go wrong. You are doing the right things by being there and listening to them and validating their feelings, no matter what you think of what they are thinking, their feelings are real to them. Just let them know that you will love them no matter what and I think you will be able to get through this trying time. Sounds like they need a lot of reassurance from you.

mom4him
September 11th, 2013, 11:21 PM
I want to once again thank all of you for your words of encouragement and prayers. I do believe that some things are getting worked out. I sure don't have my head in a hole though, I know there will be more. I will say that since we have talked, talked, prayed, talked, and prayed some more that both kids seem to be dealing with life better. I have felt a peace in my heart this week that was not there last week and that has been good. It has enabled me to have a clearer picture for many things.

Once again thank you and when you think of use we can still use the prayers.

Over40momma
September 13th, 2013, 12:20 AM
Sandy, I am an older mom too and the challenge of that alone can be tremendous. Add in everything you have talked about and it's safe to say that your plate is full. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. One thing I learned was listening and being there for them is the absolute BEST thing you can ever do. Nothing is more important to a child than someone taking the time to hear them.......even if it drops our stomachs right to our toes. Sending you lots of hugs.

Lilly
September 14th, 2013, 12:34 AM
Praying - won't stop. Stop in and let us know from time to time - helps the praying.

aliaslaceygreen
September 14th, 2013, 08:04 AM
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) Sounds like you are on the upside, simply because you are FACING your issues and working thru them....good luck....maybe this weekend will give everyone a few days to regroup, in clean clothes.