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RFREE
June 5th, 2013, 10:34 PM
A couple of weeks ago I made a horrible mistake that has just made me so sick that I can't sleep worrying about it. I made a tote out of a tattered american flag never knowing you weren't supposed to do anything other than burn old flags. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am that I had no idea I shouldn't have done that. I don't want any of my friends here on the forum to think I am a person that would ever desecrate our flag. I am so sorry if any of you think I am. I just can't get this out of my mind thinking any of you here are upset with me. I was never raised in a military family and honestly didn't know what I done was bad. I have talked to the powers that be about deleting my post and was very nicely told it was a very informative post and he seen nothing wrong with it. I still have to hear from all of you so I can put this to rest in my head. I have several issues going on in my life right now and don't know how much more I can take. I don't want to wine to you all but I love this forum and all of you here and don't want to be shund in any way. Please respond so I can let this go or bow out. YOU HAVE TO KNOW I AM SO SO SORRY. PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY.

Rhonda

Mpyles
June 5th, 2013, 10:39 PM
Lol Rhonda! You are loved!! No one is upset with you!! Prolly 75%of America didn't know that about the flag! Let it go...we love you!!

Cat n bull
June 5th, 2013, 10:45 PM
Rhonda, you treated the flag with respect, you were trying to save it from being thrown away. You realize you should have retired it differently, and you acknowledged it.

So if you need to hear it, then ABSOLUTELY apology accepted.

ilive2craft2
June 5th, 2013, 10:51 PM
This is not something you should be losing sleep over-you made a mistake that was not intentional, as soon as you heard that it was a mistake you apologized. I think we all learned from this--lots of people didn't know about the proper way to dispose of a flag.

Please don't let this bother you anymore. Life is too short. Hugs, Lisa

New York Sue
June 5th, 2013, 10:53 PM
JAYZEE, chica. STOP. It's all good, Nothing happened that's worth losing SLEEP over!
I didn't catch it, and don't think you should give it another thought.
If there was a RUCKUS, the thread would have been shut down!

Lonna
June 5th, 2013, 10:53 PM
Rhonda no apology needed at least on my part, it was a learn experience for many. Just chalk it up as a lesson learned and let it go. I can not speak for others but I harbor no hard feeling. I agree with Cathryn if you need to hear it Absolutely your apology is accepted. Let you mind rest on this issue and move on forward.

Mom23
June 5th, 2013, 10:53 PM
Rhonda,

When I read your post about making the tote from the American Flag I thought to myself "I don't think you are supposed to do that". It doesn't make me think any differently about you. You have acknowledged your mistake, now you need to forgive yourself and move on. Life is entirely too short to be beating yourself up over something so trivial.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

K. McEuen
June 5th, 2013, 11:02 PM
Rhonda, stop worrying about it. You and a lot of other people on this forum learned from your mistake and it actually led to a pretty interesting discussion. I don't think anyone thinks any less of you because of it because it was honestly nothing more than a mistake.

kelliedi
June 5th, 2013, 11:08 PM
Rhonda here is what i wrote on that post - i copied and pasted - I still feel this way.

I personally don't think any disrespect was intended....If you don't know you don't know....Rhonda went into this project with a good heart/intention. I also don't feel like anyone is trying to shame her/beat her up/ tear her down. We have all learned something here and that is what this forum is for.

Rhonda WE ALL LOVE YOUR POSTS AND ENCOURAGEMENT THAT WE RECEIVE FROM YOU.

:icon_wave:

pcbatiks
June 5th, 2013, 11:18 PM
Rhonda..........don't even think about bowing out of the forum............we will come and find you and drag you back! :D It was an innocent mistake..........no apology needed, but of course we accept apology. I'm sorry that you were so worried and upset over this. Go to sleep tonight knowing that we all care about you and think the world of you!! Relax........we are your friends. :icon_bigsmile:

nanaleslie
June 5th, 2013, 11:24 PM
Rhonda,

When I read your post about making the tote from the American Flag I thought to myself "I don't think you are supposed to do that". It doesn't make me think any differently about you. You have acknowledged your mistake, now you need to forgive yourself and move on. Life is entirely too short to be beating yourself up over something so trivial.


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Rhonda, I thought exactly like Robin, I wasn't sure. I just heard in your post how delighted you were to make your tote and I too thought it was great use of a tattered old flag. You shouldn't beat yourself up about it, you didn't know. Now we all know! Lesson Learned. :icon_doh:

Hulamoon
June 5th, 2013, 11:45 PM
You have been worrying about this this whole time? You poor thing. We all told you not to worry. It's obvious your not going to carry it around in public now. So what if you hang it in your sewing room and tuck quilting magazines inside I give you permission :).

toggpine
June 5th, 2013, 11:55 PM
Oh dear! I missed this one completely!
You didn't set out to intentionally disrespect the flag did you? Nope! You were trying to do something useful with it and show your patriotism. To be honest, I'd rather you made it into a bag than to see it stomped into the dirt in some foreign country!
Lesson learned on the proper disposal of a flag for a lot of people!

Lay your guilt aside, and go create another beautiful thing! Sleep well!

grannyann
June 6th, 2013, 12:06 AM
I don't think anyone holds anything against you and never did. I can understand how bad you feel but what is done is done.
You learned something new that day and hopefully you will learn something new everyday. And today you learn that no one here
is shunning you or going to. This forum is better then that.
Forgive your self and let it go and be happy.

asta
June 6th, 2013, 12:30 AM
No need to apologize, you did not desecrate the flag, you did what you thought was an honorable thing to do. If you feel the need to tho, your apology is accepted. We all make mistakes, I only hope the mistakes I have made in my life were as minor as this. Rest assured, you are not being chastised or thought bad of by your friends here.
Beth

roadie
June 6th, 2013, 12:35 AM
Rhonda,
I have lurked here for a long time and know that you truly have a heart of gold. None of us are perfect or without fault. You thought it was a good thing and had good intentions. DO NOT STRESS - life is too short!!!

Jean Sewing Machine
June 6th, 2013, 12:36 AM
Sweetie, I hope you can put this in the past! We love you and cherish you as a forum member! We all learned a bit about flag protcol from those with lots of experience. Just be at peace about this, and live life restfully!

mom4him
June 6th, 2013, 12:39 AM
Rhonda, I saw the tote that you made and posted and I did say to myself. I don't care for that, she should have burned and buried it. I was not offended by it though. I felt that you were proud of it and if you were out to dis honor the flag I don't think you would be proud of carrying it around as a tote. We are all ignorant in areas and until we learn them we stay ignorant. You know have the knowledge. I for one would never shune you and I honestly can not see any of the people I have met on this board as shuning you either. This is such a caring loving board and from what I have experienced everyone is willing to learn from others. You are too.
Get a good nights sleep, Sweety.

lilmouse
June 6th, 2013, 12:41 AM
FORGIVEN! Actually nothing to forgive but wanted you to know in no uncertain terms that I never thought bad of you and never would, you had good intentions and that is all that matters to me....you are very much loved here; no more losing sleep over this issue....dead and buried! and Forgotten! Hugs, Susie

SuzyQue
June 6th, 2013, 12:42 AM
Rhonda---Please don't worry any longer about a simple mistake. I must agree with everyone here that you thought you were honoring the flag and the day by reusing the flag in a beautiful and purposeful way. Lots of people wouldn't have known the rules without this being posted, so consider it a learning experience for many! If it would help, I imagine you could still take the bag to an American Legion or Boy Scout group, explain what happened, and they could properly dispose of the remains. Any time that learning occurs, I consider it a great thing! Please don't continue to worry and stress over this mistake.........just call it what it now is......a learning experience!

GuitarGramma
June 6th, 2013, 12:46 AM
Rhonda, you are a good and kind person. I know what it's like to stress about something like this -- I have quite a tendency to do so. But everyone here understands that you made that tote with love in your heart, and you sparked a WONDERFUL discussion in which lots of us learned important things.

I also know -- having quite the tendency to stress -- that you might not be able to hear us all telling you that everything's OK. But it really, truly is OK. And, as everyone here has said, we all love you. Really.

Musical_Starling
June 6th, 2013, 12:58 AM
Being a Canadian I'm not sure how much water my comments hold on this issue, but I will give them regardless ;) I think you had the greatest intentions in giving that old flag new life, and that certainly doesn't fall under any definition of "desecration" in my books. Now had you torn it up and thrown it out it would have been an entirely different story lol I think these rules/regulations are in place so people don't just dishonour their flags (and countries) by tossing them in the trash to spend an eternity in a dump somewhere (or worse). Trying to give it new life as another way to show your American pride? That's the sign of a good heart if you ask me :) Your heart was certainly in the right place, and that's what counts the most. I honestly did NOT know that old flags were meant to be burned (and burned properly at that), I can assure you my Dad doesn't know about this because I don't ever remember any flag burnings but I remember helping him replace a couple as a kid.

So chalk it up to a lesson learned! Doesn't seem like you upset anyone at all, so no need to worry :)

Evilynn
June 6th, 2013, 01:07 AM
I just spoke with my MIL about this topic because I didn't have any clue what to do with old flags myself. She said she is pretty sure that flags of any country are to be burnt when no longer in use. At least Finnish flags have to be burnt. I am sorry but having grown up in Germany, a country where it's considered a crime to be proud to be one of it's citizens (yes, still!!!), we never learnt how to treat the German flag with respect. To see someone being proud to be whatever nationality is something very new and fascinating for me. I think Finnish people are just as Americans when it comes to national pride which is a good thing! (Hey, only because in Germany we don't have it doesn't mean that others shouldn't have it!)

Edit: It seems you may not, under any circumstance, burn a German flag. It's prohibited by law. You see? Not so easy the whole topic!

So I don't think anyone is mad at you for not knowing what to do with an old flag. I at least couldn't, and I think it's not something you should be losing sleep over. Mistakes happen. Next time you know better. We love you!

auntiemern
June 6th, 2013, 01:07 AM
Oh honey, stop worrying about it. It was a mistake that anyone could have made. IMO you were respecting the flag in your own way. Don't you dare lose another moments sleep over this silly thing. We love you, and don't want you being upset over it. Love and hugs (((Rhonda)))

Sewflower
June 6th, 2013, 01:50 AM
Don't sweat the small stuff. You did not intentionally disrespect the flag. All I can say is "he that is without sin, cast the first stone" God bless and take care of yourself.

Wwena
June 6th, 2013, 04:18 AM
I'm not American so I probably can't relate. All I can say is today is Sweden's national holiday (like your 4th of July) and I wouldn't dream of shunning anyone for using a Swedish flag for a thing like that. It would be a stupid reason and stupid, we ain't! :)

It was interesting to hear you're supposed to burn the old flags.

shannonsaulter
June 6th, 2013, 04:23 AM
Um hello get some sleep..wash the worry away..you my friend are stuck with us!!!
Love ya and all my quilty friends!!!
(((Hugs)))

bakermom
June 6th, 2013, 04:31 AM
Don't beat yourself up over this. You didn't know, now you do. And your mistake made a lot of people aware of how our flag should be treated. i don't know you personally but I never for a moment thought you were being deliberately disrespectful. From everything I've ever seen from you on here tells me you are a talented, caring person. we all make mistakes- you've been a big enough person to admit it and apologize- that speaks volumes on the type of person you are.

rebeccas-sewing
June 6th, 2013, 04:47 AM
Many of us on the Forum are very opinionated and not afraid to say how we feel. Has anyone said anything to you about it? If not, I'd say no one is offended. I think your apology has you covered. Try to put things in perspective please. If you insist on worrying yourself to the point of not sleeping please worry over major problems. Sounds to me like you have a few of those in your life. I think you can rest at ease on this one. Smile, Rhonda!

Iris Girl
June 6th, 2013, 06:04 AM
No need to apologize, You did something you thought was good to save an old flag. It wasn't as if you had done somethingbad on purpose. It was a mistake and I think a lot of us had learned from the posts. No one hear thought bad of you. Its done and over you said an apology thats enough lets let it rest now.

Bubby
June 6th, 2013, 06:53 AM
Rhonda...I know you and I know that you made you bag without knowing there could possibly be an issue. No one here thinks poorly of you because of this. You have one of the sweetest hearts of everyone here...don't worry about it. We love you, Hon.

bopeep
June 6th, 2013, 09:59 AM
Rhonda.............It was a mistake.......something you did for Good.......the fact that you are upset about it tells us what kind of person you are.....that being a Very Caring Person ........a Very Loving Person............a person that is easy to Love back......We do Love you here..........now please get some sleep...........we have all learned something from this......
bopeep

WendyI
June 6th, 2013, 10:12 AM
This just broke my heart. (((((Rhonda))))) I am not an American and we don't take our flag quite so seriously here in Canada so I can't really comment on this in general. But I'm so sad that this has been causing you angst. I know EXACTLY how that feels and it's not a pleasant place to be. Please take what everyone says to heart and as they have said, let it go. There was no ill intent implied whatsoever and you should not feel bad about it. Take care. As for things going on in your life, if you ever need to talk, just send me a PM. Sometimes talking to a "stranger" is the best therapy ever. 48940


A couple of weeks ago I made a horrible mistake that has just made me so sick that I can't sleep worrying about it. I made a tote out of a tattered american flag never knowing you weren't supposed to do anything other than burn old flags. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am that I had no idea I shouldn't have done that. I don't want any of my friends here on the forum to think I am a person that would ever desecrate our flag. I am so sorry if any of you think I am. I just can't get this out of my mind thinking any of you here are upset with me. I was never raised in a military family and honestly didn't know what I done was bad. I have talked to the powers that be about deleting my post and was very nicely told it was a very informative post and he seen nothing wrong with it. I still have to hear from all of you so I can put this to rest in my head. I have several issues going on in my life right now and don't know how much more I can take. I don't want to wine to you all but I love this forum and all of you here and don't want to be shund in any way. Please respond so I can let this go or bow out. YOU HAVE TO KNOW I AM SO SO SORRY. PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY.

Rhonda

bec
June 6th, 2013, 10:28 AM
No judgement here. You didn't know that there was a proper way to treat old flags. We all make mistakes and learn by them.

CrazyMtnLady
June 6th, 2013, 10:33 AM
No apology needed.

Sandy Navas
June 6th, 2013, 11:25 AM
I'm not going to hold anything against you, Rhonda. We all know your heart is pure gold. In a land that allows our flag to be brandished about on t-shirts and other paraphernalia with no consequence - a country that imports the national flag from third world countries and no longer makes their own - There is NO WAY I would condemn you for trying to honor your love of country in this way. I've seen people who actually believe they are fine, upholding citizens mistreat the flag . . . intentionally. You had no intention to do that, so relax, know we love you, and let it rest.

GinnyKNC
June 6th, 2013, 11:36 AM
Rhonda please don't leave the forum. We all make mistakes and not knowing the procedures for disposing of a flag should not be a reason for you to leave us. Please stay.

Tanya D
June 6th, 2013, 11:48 AM
First of all, I was quite impressed with your tote and thought it was beautiful. Secondly, I didn't know the protocol of disposing of an old flag (still don't know if that is what we do here in Canada).

I learned a lot from that thread and I especially liked how it was a civil discussion that did not turn nasty when it really could have.

So Rhonda, although I don't feel like you need to apologize, you are forgiven. If that's what allows you to sleep at night, then that is what I will give you.

Now rest easy and feel the love!

RFREE
June 6th, 2013, 12:04 PM
Thank you all for letting me tell you how I have been feeling for so long. No it never did get ugly but in my heart I was so afraid people thought ill of me. I struggled with posting this thread last night but knew if I didn't say anything it would have just eat me up.
I have never been part of such a loving group of friends;most whom I will never meet in person; but love you just the same because you are all my kind of people! I love you all and will finally put this behind me. Thank you for making me feel 100% better.
Hugs from Ky
Rhonda

Patrice
June 6th, 2013, 12:13 PM
Don't apologize Rhonda. You have nothing to be sorry for. I can't imagine anyone being offended when you didn't know..just like most of us. I learned a lot from the thread and just yesterday found my self looking at flags in people's yards to see if they had a light. Would I think less of them if they didn't? Not at all. We all love you and it was a great thread

cyndiofthevortex
June 6th, 2013, 12:19 PM
This is not something you should be losing sleep over-you made a mistake that was not intentional, as soon as you heard that it was a mistake you apologized. I think we all learned from this--lots of people didn't know about the proper way to dispose of a flag.

Please don't let this bother you anymore. Life is too short. Hugs, Lisa I can't say it any better than this!

SallyO'Sews
June 6th, 2013, 01:54 PM
Rhonda, no apology is necessary as far as I am concerned, as I was aware from the get-go that you were not trying to do anything disrespectful. That said, if it is helpful to you, I FORGIVE YOU.

Now, please forgive yourself. I do agree with the Forum folks that the discussion that ensued after your post was neither angry nor impolite, but actually very informative. Some of us older folks and maybe some of us who were Girl Scouts were taught about flag etiquette as children, but that in no way means that we judge you harshly for not knowing that which you were never taught. Furthermore, some of us remember the anti-war protests of the 1970's when desecrating the flag as a political statement was on the nightly news regularly. Your tote was not like that at all. Just live and learn, dear, and don't let anyone (even yourself) upset you about it any more.

I really hope all the other issues you are facing are resolved quickly. Here's a hug: ((((RHONDA)))).

Blessings, ~ Sally \0/

Grama Debbie
June 6th, 2013, 02:04 PM
What they said!! No apology needed.:icon_wave:

alliek
June 6th, 2013, 02:24 PM
Rhonda: We LOVE YOU! No one thinks any less of you, In fact I think more of you! You allowed us all to learn something valuable. Thank you! What you did was from a heartfelt feeling for the flag, so the intent was good, Rest easy friend. :icon_wave:

mommadeb
June 6th, 2013, 04:47 PM
Don't even worry about it. It was an honest mistake. Can you burn the tote? That would put the remains of the flag to rest as it should be. Please, don't loose sleep over it. No one that is a decent human being will beat you up for it.

Judy, USMC
June 6th, 2013, 05:32 PM
I know what you did was completely unintentional, Rhonda. And I can also understand why you are upset with yourself.

You are definitely not alone. In my 20+ years on active duty and another 20+ in crafting I have seen it all ... flags made into shirt collars, totes, purses, rag balls for prim home dec, and even baby diaper covers made by young military moms! And every crafter was as shocked as you were when they found out the regulations. Just as you, there was absolutely no intention of doing anything wrong. In fact the opposite is true ~ people who do this are the most patriotic and only try to show their pride in the flag and our country.

The mods were correct in not deleting the thread because it has turned out to be a great educational benefit for others who were unaware of that aspect of flag etiquette! And for that I sincerely thank you.

Please don't beat yourself up over this. Personally, I do not think any less of you for trying to show your pride in our flag and am sincerely proud to be associated with so many on this forum who feel the same pride.

Genny
June 6th, 2013, 07:18 PM
Rhonda..........don't even think about bowing out of the forum............we will come and find you and drag you back! :D It was an innocent mistake..........no apology needed, but of course we accept apology. I'm sorry that you were so worried and upset over this. Go to sleep tonight knowing that we all care about you and think the world of you!! Relax........we are your friends. :icon_bigsmile:

I agree 100% so please quit beating yourself up over this. :icon_bigsmile:

Fabriclovr
June 6th, 2013, 07:35 PM
I replied to the original post, but it also needs to be said here.

I am sure that you did not mean any harm and you may be able to take these items to her local American Legion or local Boy Scout chapter and explain that you didn't know and would take them to properly dispose of the flags. I am sure they will say yes.

Little harm, no foul.. all is good!

Monique
June 6th, 2013, 07:59 PM
Apology accepted. It does sound like anyone is harboring any bad feelings. A mistake was made, you learned from it. End of discussion.

P/S I did not know that about the flag. Does that go for every country's flag or just the USA?

Slokarma
June 6th, 2013, 07:59 PM
No harm, no foul. Isn't there a saying about when we know better, we do better.

I did not think you were making any political statement against the US flag. If I hadn't been in the Girl Scouts years ago, I probably would not know that there are special rules for handling the US flag.

Don't fret and sleep well.

Mrs.Sew&Sew
June 6th, 2013, 08:10 PM
I am so sorry that you have been loosing sleep over this. I don't think Anyone on this forum thinks ill of you. What I would say is this: those who have NEVER made a mistake let them cast the first stone! I can tell you there will be NO ONE! Least of all ME! I have made many mistakes and am sure I will make many more.
Hugs to you and put this behind you.

Lindagie
June 6th, 2013, 09:07 PM
AMEN! When I first read what you made, I thought that there were rules about disposal of the flag, but then never gave it another thought. So please don't worry about it or lose any more sleep. If anyone thinks ill of you for this, then it is their problem, not yours. I hope all of the other things going on in your life will also get better soon. Prayers for that and hugs to you!

Sew Perfect
June 6th, 2013, 09:24 PM
Coming from a Military family, I've always known of proper use and disposal of the U.S. Flag. Today was the first time I saw your tote and I love it! If you want to use your old flag that way, do it. I might feel different if it were a bikini bathing suit...haha...sorry, a little lite on the subject.

No more fretting or losing sleep. There are more pressing things in life to worry about. If you DO still feel guilty, just dig a hole, burn the tote, bury the tote. Otherwise, use the tote with great honor because it's an awesome way to display it.

New York Sue
June 6th, 2013, 11:40 PM
I think everyone who has posted here has learned a lot,
I personally, would put those educated regarding flag etiquette in this country at 15%.
That said, get some sleep Dear Rhonda!
Your tote is LOVELY! I would GLADLY hang it my sewing room, ANYDAY.
But can we just shut this thread DOWN, please. The kid is not sleeping. :(

Sew Perfect
June 7th, 2013, 12:02 AM
I think everyone who has posted here has learned a lot,
I personally, would put those educated regarding flag etiquette in this country at 15%.
That said, get some sleep Dear Rhonda!
Your tote is LOVELY! I would GLADLY hang it my sewing room, ANYDAY.
But can we just shut this thread DOWN, please. The kid is not sleeping. :(

Amen and Amen

MRoy
June 7th, 2013, 12:05 AM
Rhonda, I wasn't offended in any way. Please let it go, it's all okay! (((((HUGS)))))