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View Full Version : help me, i really screwed up today



aqua-teal71
June 4th, 2013, 07:12 PM
Here is the story. I was out watering the yard this morning(it is going to be 103 today). The family of 3 adults and 5 kids live in the 3 bedroom single wide across the street. I saw the oldest boy kick the youngest boy twice in the ribs and then get him in a choke hold. I yelled at the kid. He told his mom. Now i am not trying to judge by appearance alone, but she scared the crap out of me. She came to our front door and started yelling at me and telling me to mind my own business, (i agree, i should not have). It wasnt the shaved side of her head or the huge tatoos all over her, but she was really ready for a fight. A little latter, i asked one of the boys to get their mom, a guy comes out and i apoligize to him and she comes out and is still yelling at me. They both were saying she was a good mom, but i never implied she wasnt. Aren't we supposed to stand up to bullies???????? Oh well.
Later i looked out the window and the middle boy was tormenting the little boy. Also a little girl not much more than 4 or 5 is outside with them.
I hate confrontations like this. I am old. If i acted up in the neighborhood growing up, someone in the neighborhood would have been talking to my dad and i would have been in trouble.
Is it me or is the world getting angerier and ;more willing to act on it??????

bubba
June 4th, 2013, 07:18 PM
You need to call 911 and request the police do a welfare check on these children, the sooner the better. Something clearly is not right at that residence and by all appearances, the mother chooses to do nothing about it. The sooner something gets done, the better, otherwise it could be a looooong hot summer!

aqua-teal71
June 4th, 2013, 07:23 PM
I know i should, but i am hoping that the good fairy will come along and fix it. I just have had such bad experiences with cps and my son and granddaughter.

Cat n bull
June 4th, 2013, 07:33 PM
I think you are right aqua-teal, the world is angrier and quick to act on it! I grew up with adults that WOULD and were EXPECTED to tell kids to knock it off when they did something wrong, and I expected the same from my neighbors for my kids too. They are KIDS, they do things they shouldn't.

It seems to me like it used to be widely accepted that 'it takes a village to raise a child' but now people can be so crazy if someone even suggests their child has done something wrong!

If you continue to see this boy hurting his siblings, then a welfare check sounds like a good idea.

bubba
June 4th, 2013, 07:47 PM
I'm sorry, but a fairy godmother is not going to come along and fix this. I have worked in law enforcement for over thirty years. Think how you would feel if something serious happens to one of those kids and you find yourself saying 'I should have called....'

aqua-teal71
June 4th, 2013, 07:59 PM
bubba you are right. I am going to talk to my pastor, he is a good man and i can talk to him.

bakermom
June 4th, 2013, 08:01 PM
Yeah, tough spot. we had neighbors like that once. Seemed to think it was OK for a 2 yr old to sit in the middle of the street and pick at the tar. got quite nasty if anyone told the kid to get out of the street and go home. someone eventually called authorities i guess cause the police came by quite often(they would hide and not answer the door) but the little girl was kept out of the street.
The kids all swore like sailors, hit and spit - the parents couldn't understand why no one would let their kids play with them.

bubba
June 4th, 2013, 08:08 PM
Maybe the pastor will call them for you. And it can always be done anonymously too. I hope you make the right decision.

pat.

cyndiofthevortex
June 4th, 2013, 08:26 PM
You did not screw up. You did the right thing. Those kids deserve to live in a safe home. That mom sounds like a violent, unstable woman. Someone must be brave enough to call and get the authorities involved before someone really does get hurt. You'll have to be very brave, though. I have called the state three times on the same family and it always left me shaking. It's a tough thing to do.

Hulamoon
June 4th, 2013, 08:47 PM
Do you have neighbors that have seen the same actions? With my little neighborhood we are aware of 's going on so there is a little support. Sounds like she is denile and some type of drugs or alcohol.

50Granny14
June 4th, 2013, 08:48 PM
If you're afraid of calling the police, you can always call the welfare department and ask them to do a welfare check just like you would do with the elderly. As long as the authorities are notified (anonymously or not) because the safety of the children is what is most important. If your pastor is willing to call that is also a viable option. It sounds like you're going to do the right thing and make the correct decision. God bless you for getting involved.

cyndiofthevortex
June 4th, 2013, 08:55 PM
I agree with Granny's post above. Just to clarify, I did mean to recommend you call the welfare office and not the police. They will bring in the police if necessary.

ilive2craft2
June 4th, 2013, 09:06 PM
Talk to your pastor about it - I think they are one of the people who are mandated reporters - I work in a school district, so that applies to me as well. He will know what to do and help to counsel you that you did the right thing. Thank you for stepping up for those kids. I am keeping them and you in my prayers. Hopefully, it will all be resolved peacefully and the kids will get the help they need. Lisa

mom4him
June 4th, 2013, 09:54 PM
I am not sure your pastor will be able to make the call if he hasn't seen the problems. He can sure be with you when you call though. It is a very different world from when I grew up. I used to think that when you carried and gave birth to a baby you would love and care for that child. Not so. If these children are not going to be cared for by their birth parents then they need to be care for by someone else.

New York Sue
June 4th, 2013, 09:57 PM
I probably would have done the same thing...Only it would have ended really, really BAD.
These children are obviously NOT being supervised on any level. I would contact CPS (child protective services), or maybe your pastor might, for that reason alone. I would avoid any direct confrontations with anyone like this. She's obviously a wack job and a bully (the apple don't fall far from the tree...) as well.
Some elements in our society scare the bejeezes out of me, because it's a generational thing. They don't know any better because the were raised by wolves themselves. Add to that a sense of entitlement!
Need I say more?
Side story, unrelated, but hopefully, you get my drift...
A patient comes into a hospital and speaks Spanish only. While trying to triage the patient, the nurse (who doesn't speak Spanish) uses the Language Line, (a phone service for interpretation).
The patient HURLS the phone AT the nurse, barely missing her, demanding a Spanish speaking nurse!
She later files a complaint with the hospital.
The hospital responds by sending her a $50 gift card to Applebees for her displeasure...Beautiful story, right?
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

bubba
June 4th, 2013, 10:06 PM
:sighing heavily: at nysues story....

kelliedi
June 4th, 2013, 10:07 PM
Maybe YOU are the guardian angel sent to get help for those children. IN MISSOURI (every state is different) we have a 1800 hot line number that people can report anonymously suspected child abuse/neglect. Then the correct authorities take/make a report from there.

aqua-teal71
June 5th, 2013, 12:29 AM
my pastor, who was at a conference 2 hours away took my call. He said to sit on it and watch the situation and if it happens again to take action. We are so afraid of retalleation. The nurse story is scary NY Sue, but not suprising. My husband is a nurse in a mental health prison, some of them actually want to get better, not many.
I am the neighborhood kook. I know everyones cars and when they work. This has happened since I retired. People have a general idea that trailerparks are easy pickings. I am protective of my neighborhood. I do really care for my neighbors, but some of them don't make it easy

phoots
June 5th, 2013, 12:40 AM
I agree with Bubba. Next time call 911 and ask for a welfare check!

Pam in Vegas

Ellimay
June 5th, 2013, 12:45 AM
I would do as your pastor says. keep an eye on things and if they escalate when I would get childrens advocates involved.

shannonsaulter
June 5th, 2013, 12:46 AM
Hang in there but since you did have an issue with the mom she will probably be back at your door regardless of who calls..Hang in there

auntiemern
June 5th, 2013, 01:04 AM
Paula, You did the right thing. I agree with your pastor, just keep an eye on things. That being said I worry about the looney mom, taking revenge on you. I have called the child abuse hotline on more than one occasion on DD's neighbors. Talk about nuts. The kids were totally out of control, being emotionally abused, if not physically, and living in squalor. Sad thing is, they took the kids away after the 3rd call, prior calls had resulted in them being given a heads up by DFS that they were coming to investigate. What is the point in that? The last time They were there within 1/2 hr. Even the foster parents could not deal with the oldest girl (9). Make a long story short, they got the kids back in less than a month and nothing changed. Will keep you in my prayers, that everything works out for the best.

Evilynn
June 5th, 2013, 03:44 AM
Well, if she is REALLY acting aggressively towards you then I think you should observe for a while. Yes.
I hope you find a solution for this dilemma...

Hugs,

Steffie