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View Full Version : Keep me sane.....



bubba
May 31st, 2013, 01:21 PM
I am not one to ask for prayers, even though I believe in powers that be. However, if you would keep us in your thoughts, maybe good will prevail over evil.

I have an ex son in law, who after serving in Iraq, came back crazy. He has severe PTSD, for which he refuses to be treated because he does not think anything is wrong with him. A few years ago, he kidnapped our two youngest grandgirls and fled to Texas. It took us almost two months to get them back.

Last night, he went off the deep end again. I woke up to find a police officer on my porch. Apparently the xsil has been missing since last night when he packed up all his belongings, abused his dog, packed up all the girls toys at his house and disappeared. He was heard telling his dad (in Texas) that he was taking the girls and taking them to Texas. He also said that everytime he sees the oldest of his daughters, who is just nine years old, all he sees is a bullet hole in her head....who does that?????

I don't know why I am in such a state of shock over this since I have worked at 911 for the past 30 years, but when it happens to you, it's just crazy making.

Now on my only day off, I have two of the girls at my house. One is six and all she can do is cry she is so upset. She likes to go to fabric stores, so we will be headed out of town to make her happy!! How can I say no to that?? The middle girl was scheduled to go to the state capital in Olympia on a field trip to perform with the guitar group she is in, so she was escorted into school and left in the care and watchful eye of her favorite teacher who will protect her until they return and we pick her up.

I'm glad my sister does not know she is getting a quilt, because today was supposed to be fmq day, but that won't be happening. Vacation on Wednesday can't get here fast enough!

Thanks for listening...

Lonna
May 31st, 2013, 01:27 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and our family. I hope everything works it self out and that you all stay safe.

auntiemern
May 31st, 2013, 01:36 PM
Will certainly keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. How scary and crazy that is. Is there a order of protection in place? Maybe someone should go to court and have him committed for a while to get treatment. PTSD is a difficult disorder to treat, because so many won't and don't admit they have it. Hopefully he will seek treatment on his own. If not, hopefully he will just leave his DD's and your family alone. ((((Bubba))))

bakermom
May 31st, 2013, 01:36 PM
Prayers for your family.

bubba
May 31st, 2013, 01:40 PM
There is an order in place, but who knows if he will honor it. His landlady told me that what set him off was a letter from an attorney telling him he would only be able to see the girls two days a month. My daughter knows nothing about this, so I don't know if he is imagining it or what. There was an order in effect when he took them last time. We just could not find them, and when we did, we did things legally to get them back, which thankfully we did.

I'm just hoping we don't go thru that again, I just could not take it again.

grannyann
May 31st, 2013, 02:16 PM
Oh my I certainly am very concerned for all of you. There is so much going on these days you can never be to careful.
I certainly hope and pray for all of you and your family's well being.

pcbatiks
May 31st, 2013, 02:39 PM
Praying for your family........hope your SIL will get help soon.

rebeccas-sewing
May 31st, 2013, 02:57 PM
So sorry to hear such disturbing news. What a shame this young man has become so disturbed. I hope he will get some help before he does something he will regret. Hoping you all stay safe.

Slokarma
May 31st, 2013, 03:09 PM
O that's frightening and very, very sad.
You and your GD's will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sue

WendyI
May 31st, 2013, 03:10 PM
So sorry this is happening. Heartbreaking for your family but for him as well. To serve your country and come back that broken with no support system is appalling. (((((HUGS)))))))

Judy~Ann
May 31st, 2013, 03:11 PM
Reading your words causes my heart to ache for you all. I do believe in the power of prayer and I'm thinking of you all and asking God to protect you and your family .... God Bless

lilmouse
May 31st, 2013, 05:56 PM
Keeping all in prayer!

ilive2craft2
May 31st, 2013, 06:10 PM
Oh Bubba...how hard for all of you. Keeping you all in my prayers, including the exSIL - I sure hope he gets the help he needs. Lisa

Andrea F
May 31st, 2013, 06:39 PM
Will keep you in my thoughts as well. Very sad, PTSD really is a bad disorder and seeing the bullet hole in his daughters head might be a really bad flashback of what he experienced. I hope he will get some help rather sooner than later and this nightmare ends for all of you.

bubba
May 31st, 2013, 08:19 PM
Thank you all.....I have been a wreck all day. I took the oldest and youngest and headed to Seattle for the day. The oldest one is twelve, so she knows some of what is going on, but the six year old is happy go lucky kid, as she should be.

We still have not heard or seen him, hopefully he is on his way to Texas. The further away he is, the better. I'm trying to get our daughter to take the girls and go up to our lake place for the weekend because he would not be able to find them there, but I don't think she will do it.

So here we sit, under lock and key yet again, waiting for my daughter to get home from work in a couple hours. If someone is able, will you please take a nap for me? I really need one! I worked swings again last night, caught two armed robbers, one raper/kidnapper, and two burglars and didn't get to sleep till after 0200 and then woke up to this at 0730. Pat does not do well on lack of sleep :o

Miss Sheri
May 31st, 2013, 10:41 PM
Bubba, Think of it as just One Moment at a time, and remember to breathe! The terrible stress of what 'might' be is a severe burden. I too will be praying for all of you.

Sew Perfect
May 31st, 2013, 10:48 PM
There is an order in place, but who knows if he will honor it. His landlady told me that what set him off was a letter from an attorney telling him he would only be able to see the girls two days a month. My daughter knows nothing about this, so I don't know if he is imagining it or what. There was an order in effect when he took them last time. We just could not find them, and when we did, we did things legally to get them back, which thankfully we did.

I'm just hoping we don't go thru that again, I just could not take it again.

He shouldn't be able to see those girls at all. In fact, he needs to be in a mental hospital. Do they still have those? Anyway, thinking of you and your family and especially those poor girls.

Sandy Navas
May 31st, 2013, 10:51 PM
So many emotions, but most of all many, many very strong prayers for you, your DD and most definitely the girls. I also pray that your exSIL can somehow accept some healing help. PTSD is such a severe price to pay for serving our country. So sad.

mom4him
May 31st, 2013, 11:04 PM
Praying for you and your family. My heart breaks for your family and this young man. I don't know how you convince someone that they need help when they see no need.

bubba
June 1st, 2013, 01:06 AM
Again, thank you for all your words. We have lived under lock and key all afternoon. My husband is armed at all times. The girls are now back home with their mother and her boyfriend who will do whatever has to be done to protect them.

There is no way to convince someone who is sick like this that there is something wrong with him. We tried for years to help him, believe me, we did. Before he went over there, he was a normal, nice human being and came back a monster. Our daughter has not told us all of what happened, but I know more than she thinks I do. When the youngest was a baby, he shoved my daughter from a Ford Expedition then proceeded to run over her leg with the vehicle. That was the first time he fled. She stupidly took him back because he had gotten treatment and she felt he was back to normal. Well normal only lasts as long as you are being treated. He also thought he was normal and quit going to treatment and taking his medicine.

It's a viscous circle. He can be fine, and then he snaps. When he kidnapped the girls almost three years ago, it was absolutely terrible...I would never, ever wish that on anyone to go thru. When he went and dumped off a bunch of stuff at a friends house last night, he told them he was leaving this morning for Texas. Hopefully, he has done that, but we have no clue. The six year old just cries, she does not know what is going on and wants him to be here. The ten year old shuts down and she won't talk to anyone about it.

I hope he makes it to Texas and just stays there. I know it hurts the girls, but I'd rather they be hurt missing him, than hurt by him.

Eliza
June 1st, 2013, 02:11 AM
I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you, sending (((hugs))).

janluna
June 1st, 2013, 06:13 AM
I too will be Praying for your family. My Brother was in the service too. And he went in with some hope of finding a direction for his life and to serve his country. He came home a hopeless alcoholic and drug user. He married one of the sweetest woman in the world. He beat her for the 12 years she was married to him and had 4 kids. I begged her not to marry him. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, him to get help. He just came home a violent person. It's a long story but he also ended up in texas. It must be an attraction for crazy people who have been in the service. All I can say is I'm glad I don't live there. Anyway, we got rid of him and kept my SIL and my Nieces
and Nephews and watched my Darlin SIL become a Supermom, who worked 3 jobs, and raised 4 great kids. It breaks my heart that my Brother gave up the best thing that ever happened to him, (his wife and children,) and all for booze and drugs. The VA tried to help him but he refused all their help. My SIL, who is now my heart Sister finally got help as well and fell in love with a friend of ours who dated her for 8 years before he could get her to marry him. He became a wonderful Dad to the kids. And finally she said yes and married him. She now knows how to use a gun, has several protective dogs and lives out in the sticks. Her husband is a police officer. She became a confident, strong women, who can protect herself in case my brother ever comes back and causes trouble. She is happy and content.
We will pray that your SIL gets help because no one deserves to be mentally ill. We pray he leaves the kids and your Daughter alone and that she finds someone to love and cherish, who loves and cherishes her and the children as well. And most of all we pray for her and the kids to have peace.
Getting help from the VA now has become such a problem. I worry for all our service men and women coming home. I fear for them and their families, and pray they also find peace and happiness that they so deserve for serving their country. God Bless you and your family. Hugs, Jan L.