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Tanya D
May 31st, 2013, 11:54 AM
Lastnight I went to tuck Emma into bed and say goodnight. Immediately she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and ended up sitting there for an hour with her. She's about to turn 13 and her hormones are all over the place. One minute she's a sweet little girl, the next minute her head is spinning like she's possessed, then the next minute she's having a meltdown with tears and has no idea why she's so upset.

Lately she's been sitting in her room, watching Glee on the iPad and basically just coming out for food. My sewing room is right next to her room so I'm nearby. She leaves her door open so she's not completely closing us out but it's been bothering me a bit and I've mentioned it slightly.

So lastnight we had a good long talk about dealing with all these changes in her body and emotions. We talked about treating people nicely and not being mean and bitchy. And we talked about reaching out and talking things out.

I got her all settled and was tickling her feet (she falls asleep to having her feet tickled all the time) when Eric walks in from the gym. His girlfriend was over before he went to the gym and I noticed there was some tension between the two of them. Now they have only been dating for just over a month and this is his first girlfriend (he's 17). So he walks into Emma's room and says, "Well, I'm single". Well Emma loves Lynn and loved the fact that Eric was dating her so she got upset all over again...sigh.

So off Eric and I go to the kitchen where he proceeds to tell me everything that's been happening since Friday. They fought all weekend by text as he was out of town for lacrosse games. When he got back on Sunday he had homework to do and wasn't in the mood to hang out with her (tired and disappointed in the games). Then Monday she wouldn't talk about it and said everything was "fine". LOL, we all know what THAT means!!!

Anyway, to make a long story short, it seems she is quite insecure, jealous and a little bit needy and he just couldn't handle it. He's VERY focused on school and lacrosse as he's hoping to get an athletic scholarship in the States. He said she was quite demanding and he felt like a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders as nothing he did seemed to be enough.

I quite liked her myself...she wasn't shy and seemed comfortable at our house.

I felt like I should have had the kids lay on the couch while I sat in the chair with a pad of paper and pen. Just call me Dr. Mom!

Sandy Navas
May 31st, 2013, 12:16 PM
Ah, the joys of the teenage years. Aren't you glad the males take a bit longer to go through all these changes? Give Emma lots and lots of foot tickles and tell Eric he made the right choice! Good luck to you, Dr. Mom.

Bneighbor
May 31st, 2013, 12:38 PM
You are a very lucky Mom. You have given your children the security they need to be able to talk to you. Some kids are afraid of their parents, they feel that Mom and Dad will be mad at them or not understand them. You did good Mom, congratulations.

Tanya D
May 31st, 2013, 01:02 PM
Thank you...from the bottom of my heart. I strive to have an open relationship with my kids and let them know they can be heard when they need to be. Growing up, my mom wasn't really approachable about certain topics. Her opinions were very strong on certain subjects and therefore not up for discussion.

I feel blessed to have such a good relationship with my kids.

auntiemern
May 31st, 2013, 01:28 PM
What a joy hormones are. My 10 yr old GD is having issues with that right now too. Not going in to details, she is developing quite rapidly... to rapidly for me. I always had an open relationship with my own DD and well as step kids. It isn't always easy, but better to be open and honest with your kids, than to shut them out. They may not have always liked what I said, or the advice I gave them, but it was always the truth. They may not have seen it then, but as they grew up they did. To many parents try to be friends first, and parents second. They need structure and consistency.
Congrats to you, that you are raising kids that are comfortable coming to you with their problems. WTG Mom.

bakermom
May 31st, 2013, 01:35 PM
Teenage years are fun, aren't they?! Having 4 DDs myself i understand the roller coaster you will be on for the next few years.
You did good Dr.mom.

bubba
May 31st, 2013, 01:38 PM
I sure don't miss those years!!! Having had two daughters, the hormones ran rampant at our house! I grew up in a family of five girls and I don't remember any of us ever acting out like our youngest one did!!! There were days I wondered which one of us would survive to see another day!

You, and they, will make it thru this, believe me, you will!!

Bubby
May 31st, 2013, 01:42 PM
You are experiencing the roller coaster teen years. It's great that both your kids trust you enough to open up to you. Keep listening and making yourself available.

MartinaG
May 31st, 2013, 02:19 PM
SOunds like you are a good mom who keeps close tabs on her kids while giving them room to experiment and grow. Good luck! I never had any kids but I remember being a teenager. It's not fun time for anyone involved. lol

rebeccas-sewing
May 31st, 2013, 03:04 PM
I cringe every time I think about the teenage years! I most certainly sympathize. All I can say is these problems have a way of working themselves out. If I had it to do over again, I don't know if I would've done any better job than I did. Just being there for them is about all one can do. It's tough growing up. I do have one thing to say! Good for your son. He's smart to keep his focus on school and sports and forget about girls for now.

Miss Sheri
May 31st, 2013, 11:04 PM
Tanya, I so agree, Your children are very blessed to know they have a mom who will listen to them. That is a priceless gift and will yield MANY blessings over the years. It is SO worth a lot of nights with a short supply of sleep. [trust me there WILL be more =D]
Your son is still very young to be very involved with one girl, lots of opportunities will still be ahead of him. I think he was very smart and he obviously felt relieved too.

ilive2craft2
May 31st, 2013, 11:12 PM
Tanya, you are such a good mom and your son has a great head on his shoulders! I remember my teen years with my mom - I was going through teenage hormone changes and she had a hysterectomy around the same time....wow were we loud at times..... Just had a boy myself, but I swear he had hormonal changes at times too!

MRoy
May 31st, 2013, 11:26 PM
You did great Dr. Mom! Your son has a good head on his shoulders too!

grammakim04
May 31st, 2013, 11:45 PM
Keep up the great job Tanya, it's so important to be there for your kids thru these tough years. We have 3 boys and 1 girl...the boys were easy...our daughter and her mood swings almost killed us :) but we did survive and now have been blessed with 4 beautiful grandkids.....3 granddaughters and 1 grandson which we can spoil and let their parents deal will the mood swings....grandparents revenge...it's so sweet :)

SallyO'Sews
June 1st, 2013, 01:30 AM
Bless your heart, Tanya... You are a very good mommy; and it sounds like you have raised a couple of great young people. I hope you enjoy your children's teenage years; they can be hectic and hair-raising, but a truly great period of all your lives.

Sew Perfect
June 1st, 2013, 01:38 AM
Lastnight I went to tuck Emma into bed and say goodnight. Immediately she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and ended up sitting there for an hour with her. She's about to turn 13 and her hormones are all over the place. One minute she's a sweet little girl, the next minute her head is spinning like she's possessed, then the next minute she's having a meltdown with tears and has no idea why she's so upset.

Lately she's been sitting in her room, watching Glee on the iPad and basically just coming out for food. My sewing room is right next to her room so I'm nearby. She leaves her door open so she's not completely closing us out but it's been bothering me a bit and I've mentioned it slightly.

So lastnight we had a good long talk about dealing with all these changes in her body and emotions. We talked about treating people nicely and not being mean and bitchy. And we talked about reaching out and talking things out.

I got her all settled and was tickling her feet (she falls asleep to having her feet tickled all the time) when Eric walks in from the gym. His girlfriend was over before he went to the gym and I noticed there was some tension between the two of them. Now they have only been dating for just over a month and this is his first girlfriend (he's 17). So he walks into Emma's room and says, "Well, I'm single". Well Emma loves Lynn and loved the fact that Eric was dating her so she got upset all over again...sigh.

So off Eric and I go to the kitchen where he proceeds to tell me everything that's been happening since Friday. They fought all weekend by text as he was out of town for lacrosse games. When he got back on Sunday he had homework to do and wasn't in the mood to hang out with her (tired and disappointed in the games). Then Monday she wouldn't talk about it and said everything was "fine". LOL, we all know what THAT means!!!

Anyway, to make a long story short, it seems she is quite insecure, jealous and a little bit needy and he just couldn't handle it. He's VERY focused on school and lacrosse as he's hoping to get an athletic scholarship in the States. He said she was quite demanding and he felt like a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders as nothing he did seemed to be enough.

I quite liked her myself...she wasn't shy and seemed comfortable at our house.

I felt like I should have had the kids lay on the couch while I sat in the chair with a pad of paper and pen. Just call me Dr. Mom!

Ahhh the joins of teenagers. I've just finished raising teenagers. I can quite relate to your story. You're a great jack of all trades...especially as Dr. Mom!

shermur
June 1st, 2013, 08:26 AM
Oh, Tanya...totally understand. My Youngest will turn 13 this December and we're going through that same phase. Although, I have been through a few times before! Just always remember that your children, regardless of age can have reassurance from you as their Mother, that they can talk to you about anything. My 21 year old Daughter (in the Navy) called from Japan the other day and was all fretting about being alone and no on ein her life to be a bond with. I advised her that fate will play a part in her life once she is on the right path and meets her goals! Stay strong, Tanya!

Monique
June 1st, 2013, 08:30 AM
You are a great mom Tanya. Kudos to you.

Andrea F
June 1st, 2013, 08:43 AM
Great job, Dr. Mom! You canīt do much more than being there when they need you. I raised two boys and the teenage years for one of them were no fun at all. But we got through it an now heīs 22 and pretty much back to normal. But we havenīt had many girls around here so far. I guess that is still to come... :0

MayinJerset
June 1st, 2013, 02:41 PM
You did great Dr. Mom! Your son has a good head on his shoulders too!

Oh, I certainly agree that Dr. Mom has done a great job.

I'm the mother of 3 boys, ages 46 - 54 - 56, back in their teenage years boys didn't confide in their parents very mcuh but we usually knew what was going on with them. As with any family we had our ups and downs and they never let us forget any errors we may have made. Well, I got my revenge on them in a way because between them they have 8 girls who are presently lges 16 - 31! My, oh, my have the hormones flowed in their 3 houses.

Tanya D
June 1st, 2013, 10:00 PM
You guys are all so sweet. Thank you for the encouragement and the understanding that I'm not alone or that my kids aren't any different then the rest of them.

alliek
June 1st, 2013, 10:08 PM
You are a great mom and your children benefit from this. It's not easy growing up but I'm sure your kids will do absolutely fine. Your son has a good focus and your daughter talks to you. God Bless

New York Sue
June 1st, 2013, 10:33 PM
Tanya, I have three girls. All so DIFFERENT. And all remarkable young women today. (33, 28. and 20).
Just have patience and offer support along the way. It's not easy, Lord knows. And at that age, they may act as they despise you at times....
'Well, Kara's mother says she can do it!"..."You are RUINING my life"....Or the BEST. "CHILL. You need to get over yourself!".....
During their hostile years, the 33 year-old had the first remark, the 28 year-old the second, and the 20 year-old the later. The Evolution of Parenting, right there!
I have nearly daily contact with all. I am no longer an a$$hole, but someone they come to with nearly everything, so HANG in there, Tanya!
On a side note, TEXTING and the typed word will be the end of us.....TOO much can be lost in the absence of face-to face contact.

jsmetcalf
June 1st, 2013, 10:54 PM
Years ago, when I was dealing with 2 teenage daughters and a son, a friend, who had children older than mine, gave me this advice. She was absolutely right so I have passed it along to others with teenagers. Jackie said, "Judy, never doubt that you're doing your best, love them every day, and remember...the golden number is 23. When they turn 23, you'll discover that they've become the people you were raising them to be." By golly, she was right!!

New York Sue
June 1st, 2013, 11:30 PM
Years ago, when I was dealing with 2 teenage daughters and a son, a friend, who had children older than mine, gave me this advice. She was absolutely right so I have passed it along to others with teenagers. Jackie said, "Judy, never doubt that you're doing your best, love them every day, and remember...the golden number is 23. When they turn 23, you'll discover that they've become the people you were raising them to be." By golly, she was right!!

Well, Shut UP, Miss Judy!!
23 is right ON! ;)

Evilynn
June 2nd, 2013, 11:59 AM
Oh boy, reading about this, I am soooo happy I managed to get through my teenager years. Oh boy. OH boy, it was awful, haha! I can laugh about some things now but back then, I was soooo embarrassed! I was not confident at all and everyone could easily see it. I am happy that Janna is still as small as she is, and the teenage years are something I am not really looking forward too;)

In Germany there's a saying: "Small children, small problems, grown children, big problems!" I think it's so true... I wish you a lot strength :)