View Full Version : The Quilting Husbands Lament

Sandy Navas
March 27th, 2013, 09:35 PM
Quilter Husband's Lament

I've always learned that life was full of obstacles and woes.
I've learned to live with sickness, death, taxes, heaven knows.
I've taken all these things in stride, the problems and strife,
But one I didn't count on was a Quilter for a wife.

Come home from work, the stove is cold, the dirty clothes still there,
The suit I wanted cleaned today, still laying on the chair.
"Where's Mama, son?" I asked my boy, "This house is such a mess.
Why, all the sheets are missing, we've been burglarized I guess."

"No, Mama stripped down all the beds and took the sheets away.
She cut them into little strips and pieced two quilts today."
"Why every pair of pants I own is cut in little squares."
"I'm demonstrating applique," my lovely wife declares.

I show up in the office in my boxer shorts and tie.
My secretary giggles and the clerks give me the eye.
It's freezing cold, I'm shaking and my knees are turning blue.
My boss considered firing me, but his wife's a quilter too.

I told him what happened and he said he could believe.
I noticed that the coat he wore had only half a sleeve.
A husband needs a loving wife to help him when he's ill.
To soothe and comfort, mop his brow and help him take his pills.

Should influenza strike you, your life's not worth a dime,
Particularly if it hits at Quilt Convention time.
You'll lay there in an empty house in pain and deep despair,
While the workshops and the lectures keep your wife's attention there.

You learn to ask no questions when she smiles and drives away,
Rushing to the Fabric Shop for a big sale there today.
She's gone for hours, then drags back home all bleary eyed and down,
Now who'd believe a lie like that? She must be running round.

But I'll get by, I always do, some days are fine, some not.
When your wife's a Quilter you tolerate a lot.
I know that when my life is through and I have passed away
They'll have to set my funeral so it's not a Quilting Day.

-Author Unknown-

March 27th, 2013, 09:41 PM
Ain't THAT the truth? lol Thanks for the laugh.

March 27th, 2013, 09:53 PM
LOVE IT!!!!!!!

March 27th, 2013, 10:02 PM
how true....don't know about the husband part, but put in kids and they would have to agree

March 27th, 2013, 10:22 PM
My husband says, "It's not a good deal, if you buy them all".


March 27th, 2013, 10:36 PM
Hilarious! I love it.

Sandy Navas
March 27th, 2013, 10:36 PM
The kids said they needed some school glue sticks the other day and I was out so decided to pick some up - well, the packages were different colors - two sticks to a package - this one had blue and green, one had purple and pink, one had yellow and orange . . . so I bought a pack of each. DD scolded me - said "Mom, would you quit that? You taught me to do that and it is causing me nothing but grief. The girls would have been quite satisfied with a white glue stick." And I told her she was right - but then they wouldn't be able to express their individuality - and that's important, right? That's why we NEED every colorway in a specific quilting fabric design. Yes, we NEED it!!

If you like it and clean out the shelf that will just leave more room for the next batch that you NEED!!

March 27th, 2013, 10:40 PM
So funny. Thanks for yet another laugh.

Annette Ackley
March 27th, 2013, 10:47 PM
If my Husband read this. He would have to agree. Especially when it is Quilt Guild Night. That is my night and nothing is going to get in my way of going. LOL Thank you for sharing..

March 27th, 2013, 10:50 PM
Too funny! Lol!!

Kendra Long
March 27th, 2013, 11:14 PM
Hahahaha! Thanks, Sandy!

March 27th, 2013, 11:42 PM
Got my giggle on with this one.

March 27th, 2013, 11:46 PM
hahahahaahahahaha!! Sharing this with my hubby...so he knows what he's in for! LOL! Thanks!!

Jean Sewing Machine
March 27th, 2013, 11:54 PM
That is so hilarious! Where on earth do you find these things?

Sandy Navas
March 28th, 2013, 12:04 AM
That is so hilarious! Where on earth do you find these things?

TMTOMH - at night, when I need to unwind and have To Much Time On My Hands, I surf and play. My last job was so fantastic that I was PAID well for spending my days getting to know the internet. Not an expert, by any means, and modern technical changes often leave me coughing in the dust, yet I learned key words/phrases and ways to searching. It can be fun but often takes too much of my valuable time - when I really should be downstairs figuring out what I'm going to do with my FQ/charm/JR cabinet . . .

(Not offering to give it away, okay?)

March 28th, 2013, 01:37 AM
Thanks Sandy. :lol:

March 28th, 2013, 05:25 AM
hehehehe Loved reading that (((Sandy))) yeah midnight finds on the internet are secret :-)


March 28th, 2013, 05:31 AM
lol, thanks for the laugh :)

March 28th, 2013, 05:51 AM
What a fun poem! Some folks are sooooo clever!

March 28th, 2013, 05:56 AM
That is SOOOO funny - thanks Sandy. Maybe it could explain why we had a late dinner tonight??????

March 28th, 2013, 07:47 AM
I love it. Thanks Sandy.

March 28th, 2013, 12:46 PM
:lol: This is great... sending a copy to my DH and my DS & DIL. Thanks, Sandy!

Tanya D
March 28th, 2013, 06:15 PM
What a great poem!