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ttucsok
March 14th, 2013, 09:14 PM
I've been MIA from the forum for a while. We're in the middle of a three day blizzard, of which I am LOVING, and it seems like every other day we are off to the Speech Therapist, the Doctor, the Early Childhood Intervention Specialist or Playgroup. While the first three sound dim and the fourth sounds fun I assure you playgroup for Corbin is a nightmare.

So anyone who hasn't read anything I've put up before, Corbin is my two year old. He will be two on the 23rd and has yet to say a word. Doesn't even try. He is crippled socially, as in he will not interact with strangers adult or child. He even has "down" swings where he won't let me near him. The last few days have been one of the "down" days. He won't let me hug him, or show him anything. Anything that doesn't go his way, he has a screeching fit. His little brother Clayton is 8 months on the 21st and rapidly catching up to Corbin. While the Early Childhood Development Specialist has assured me he is just "Developmentally Delayed" I recently met a mother in our area with a 5 year old who has been diagnosed with "Non-Verbal Autism." When we talk about Corbin she says everything he does is the same as her son.

I think I've been crying for two days now. Not that the prospect of Autism is so bad, I mean he could be worse off in so many ways, and not that I feel like I've failed him either. I just know how hard life can be and you love your children and don't want it to be any harder than it already is going to be. In general he is happy and healthy, laughs a lot usually and loves his little brother and our dog and cat. My husband also started school last week, year 1 of his Automotive Service Technician Apprenticeship. So when he gets home from school he is tired and needs to study. So from sun up to sun down I am everything and anything to the boys. I fear I'm getting burnt out. Luckily tomorrow I have a dentist appointment (That's how I know right there, I'm feeling lucky for a dentist appointment!) and my best friend is coming to watch the boys for me. I think I am going to take a "me" day and wander around some quilt shops before coming home.

I don't know what the point of this post was, but it felt good just to get it off my chest.

Roxanne
March 14th, 2013, 09:38 PM
Sometimes it just helps to put it down in words. Keep your chin up. Of course, I haven't met your son, but if it makes you feel any better, my cousin's son never said a word until he was way over 2. I used to think that there had to be something wrong, but guess what. He is in his 30s, an engineer and probably borderline genius. I guess he just didn't feel like there was anything that needed to be said. Don't give up. I have known several cases like this and every time the child ended up being very intelligent.

Cat n bull
March 14th, 2013, 09:44 PM
{{Tracy}}

It sounds like you have a lot of professional help, which is a great thing. You do not know for certain that it IS Autism, even if he does sound like the child you recently met. He is still young.

I have a son with cerebral palsey and a daughter with adhd, so I really understand how it is when you are told your precious baby has something 'wrong'. And oh boy do I understand the burn out too.

Here's another {{hug}}

Sandy Navas
March 14th, 2013, 09:46 PM
Tracy, sometimes that is the best thing we can do to ease the pain we're feeling. Let it out and get it over. You truly are in a scary situation for many reasons - knowing that you need to be there and provide every ounce of support you can muster. Every day can have laughter, fun, hugs (when allowed), and the next you will feel the hurt and rejection because Corbin doesn't want you near. Couple that with giving support to your husband while he's working hard for all of you . . . I often tell the granddaughters, when they are having a bad day, to go to the back yard and S C R E A M. Shout as loud as you can, bang your fists if necessary, or just give in and have yourself a good BAWLING time. And then get up, dust yourself off and head back for whatever conquests you have for the day.

Taking a day at the dentist and looking forward to it (snicker) just shows how much you need to let your best friend take a load off your shoulders for a while. I'm assuming you have no close family members who can step in to give you a bit of relief for a day or two just every few weeks. If you only go to a local restaurant and sit with a cup of coffee and a bagel it will do your soul good.

Having a granddaughter (not autistic, but with other similar problems) and watching what my daughter has been through with her for the past 21 years, leads me to know that God never gives you more than you are capable of handling..

http://www.sadmuffin.net/cherrybam/graphics/comments-hugs-and-kisses/hugs-and-kisses008.gif (http://www.cherrybam.com/hugs-and-kisses-comments.php)

You are NOT alone. I've added you to my prayer list. Believe me, you are tougher than you think you are and each and every hurt you feel is doing nothing more than making you strong. You are a wonderful mother!! Lean on us!!!!!

Tanya D
March 14th, 2013, 09:48 PM
Tracy! It's nice to "see" you...I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you've been. We are getting snow here too...keep your blizzard in the northern part of the province tho, we don't need one of those.

I agree with Roxanne, be patient, ask questions, do some research, ask more questions and visit your local family health services or call Healthlink and talk to them.

And ENJOY your day tomorrow! Us moms don't take enough time to take care of ourselves. Is there a Fabricland up there? They have a big sale on, maybe go check them out too.

bkthomas
March 14th, 2013, 09:48 PM
Cyber hugs Tracy - I like to think he is a Genius! (((((((Tracy))))))))

K. McEuen
March 14th, 2013, 10:00 PM
My nephew (now an engineer as well) didn't say anything until he was almost 3. As it turns out he was at something like 15% hearing. He had the surgery to place tubes in his ears and about 3 months later he was talking up a storm. It was a little weird since he was born and raised in Texas and at 3 had a perfect Boston accent. It was the way he had been hearing things, so that's the way he said them. He no longer has a Boston accent, but a nice Texas drawl.

Lisapc
March 14th, 2013, 10:05 PM
My daughter was super advanced. She was premature by just about 4 weeks and walked at 8 months, talked in full paragraphs at 13 months. Way to advanced in every way for her own good. No one could keep up with her in school or socially. I always joked that if i ever had another child I would think it was retarded. I was young and that is my only defense. When she was 13 I had a premature baby boy, he was 6 weeks early and his Dad is an engineer. That is important because they have a different kind of brain.

My son was walking the furniture at 7 months and walking/running at 10 months. He never slept more than 3 hours until he was 5. He never slept through the night without getting up until a little over a week ago and he is 8 1/2. He had very few words and the doctors were considering speech therapy when he was just about 3. They were hesitant to make that decision because every word he said was perfect there were just very few of them. At that time hubby got sick with cancer. I was 2 yrs of a condition that kept my son isolated from other children, no live vaccinations and living in a quiet sick house. 3 months before he started preschool at 5 he stopped using the bathroom and stopped talking altogether. He was depressed. Daddy would kiss him goodbye to go get blood checked and sometimes not come home for a month and we couldn't bring him to the hospital to see Daddy. Anyway when he was to start preschool after Dad was cancer free we told him that if he didn't use the potty he wouldn't be able to go. Withing a couple days he was using the bathroom like a pro. He had already started talking but when he started school his language exploded and and we now wish he would stop talking at times. He has no social skills. Children learn the most regarding social behavior between 3 and 5 and from other kids. He didn't have that. Recently they have diagnosed him with ADHD. He is in his own world and can not concentrate on anything he isn't interested in. His teacher has a daughter with it and they all want him on ritalin. I don't, I have heard too may horror stories about it. Most of their issues with him in school are personality based. He is the true mini me of his father. I had my mother go to the end of the year meeting with me last year because it is 2 hours of bash your kid. Example, he reads technical text with the comprehension of a 6th grader and emotional text with the comprehension of a kindergartner. So they reduced his reading level and send home practically board books for him to read. Insulting and unnecessary. I am working with a holistic doctor and have him on melatonin to help him rest which is why he is getting rest now. The circles under his eyes are going away for the first time ever. I have him in baseball and my hubby is so frustrated because he says that he just wonders, doesn't listen and can't focus but once they put the bat in his hand he does great or if he is to throw/catch the ball he does great. But if he isn't personally engaged he is in his own world. How much is his personality, experience or this ADHD? How do we find out?

It is hell having a child that you can't seem to help and want so much for. You are not alone and if you ever need to talk I am here. I feel your pain and I really mean it if you need to talk or vent I will always listen.

mom4him
March 14th, 2013, 10:09 PM
Tracy, to start with, please accept this {{HUG}} sent via the internet. I wish I could sit down with you and visit personally. I remember when I finally accepted that our youngest son was not fitting into the 'normal' mold. I wish I had realized that when he was just two but he was closer to 4. I also sat and cried, for hours. As I cried I searched the internet for hours. If you are interested in some of the things that made BIG differences send me a pm.

Don't give up.

ChristineB
March 14th, 2013, 10:28 PM
Oh Tracey! You sure do have your hands full. And as Sandy said, God doesn't give us more than we can handle! Enjoy your time tomorrow. Stop by here anytime to vent!

Ginny B
March 14th, 2013, 10:36 PM
{{{{{hugs}}}}} Tracy. So sorry to hear you are dealing with so much. You sure do need someplace to come to vent a little. We are here. My grandson wasn't talking either and my step-daughter took him to a Speech Therapist and they are working with him. He is doing much better -- he will be 3 next month. He is using his words more but is still "delayed". I know you said that your Corbin has the same signs as the son of that mom you spoke to does but just wait a bit. It may not be that he has Autism. He is still pretty young and I am sure the therapists you are seeing will help figure out the best way to proceed.

In the meantime, enjoy your day at the dentist :icon_rolleyes: and I sure do hope you get to stop at some quilt shops.

Ginny B

pcbatiks
March 14th, 2013, 10:54 PM
Hi Tracy.........you and your son will be in my prayers. I hope you enjoy your day out.....hope it will give you some much needed peace and rest. We are all here when you need to vent.

lilmouse
March 14th, 2013, 11:15 PM
We are always here to listen to you...if you need to vent...then come here and vent...we can't do much more for you but we can listen to you vent...and keep you in prayer!

auntiemern
March 14th, 2013, 11:18 PM
Welcome back. So glad you came here to vent. To begin with DO NOT listen to other parents. They will only upset and confuse you. Leave his diagnosis to those that are professionals. Go out to the dentist, take a little extra time for you, and don't forget to breathe. You are stronger than you think you are. Hugs and prayers for you and Corbin.

georgiabaughman
March 14th, 2013, 11:36 PM
My daughter was super advanced. She was premature by just about 4 weeks and walked at 8 months, talked in full paragraphs at 13 months. Way to advanced in every way for her own good. No one could keep up with her in school or socially. I always joked that if i ever had another child I would think it was retarded. I was young and that is my only defense. When she was 13 I had a premature baby boy, he was 6 weeks early and his Dad is an engineer. That is important because they have a different kind of brain.

My son was walking the furniture at 7 months and walking/running at 10 months. He never slept more than 3 hours until he was 5. He never slept through the night without getting up until a little over a week ago and he is 8 1/2. He had very few words and the doctors were considering speech therapy when he was just about 3. They were hesitant to make that decision because every word he said was perfect there were just very few of them. At that time hubby got sick with cancer. I was 2 yrs of a condition that kept my son isolated from other children, no live vaccinations and living in a quiet sick house. 3 months before he started preschool at 5 he stopped using the bathroom and stopped talking altogether. He was depressed. Daddy would kiss him goodbye to go get blood checked and sometimes not come home for a month and we couldn't bring him to the hospital to see Daddy. Anyway when he was to start preschool after Dad was cancer free we told him that if he didn't use the potty he wouldn't be able to go. Withing a couple days he was using the bathroom like a pro. He had already started talking but when he started school his language exploded and and we now wish he would stop talking at times. He has no social skills. Children learn the most regarding social behavior between 3 and 5 and from other kids. He didn't have that. Recently they have diagnosed him with ADHD. He is in his own world and can not concentrate on anything he isn't interested in. His teacher has a daughter with it and they all want him on ritalin. I don't, I have heard too may horror stories about it. Most of their issues with him in school are personality based. He is the true mini me of his father. I had my mother go to the end of the year meeting with me last year because it is 2 hours of bash your kid. Example, he reads technical text with the comprehension of a 6th grader and emotional text with the comprehension of a kindergartner. So they reduced his reading level and send home practically board books for him to read. Insulting and unnecessary. I am working with a holistic doctor and have him on melatonin to help him rest which is why he is getting rest now. The circles under his eyes are going away for the first time ever. I have him in baseball and my hubby is so frustrated because he says that he just wonders, doesn't listen and can't focus but once they put the bat in his hand he does great or if he is to throw/catch the ball he does great. But if he isn't personally engaged he is in his own world. How much is his personality, experience or this ADHD? How do we find out?

It is hell having a child that you can't seem to help and want so much for. You are not alone and if you ever need to talk I am here. I feel your pain and I really mean it if you need to talk or vent I will always listen.

I have a son that has ADHD and the only way he got out of school was to take Ritalin---today he is an ag pilot... It was a struggle while he was in school, but we made it through. I know some of what you are going through, and I empathize with you.

MRoy
March 14th, 2013, 11:47 PM
Tracy, sending hugs your way. My son didn't talk until he was 3 but he started reading complete sentences when he was 4. Someone here said to let the professionals handle the diagnosis and not other parents. That's very good advice. You need some time alone, even if it's at the dentist, to regroup. Anytime you need to vent or just talk, you can come here. Little Corbin is in my thoughts and prayers.

kensington
March 14th, 2013, 11:53 PM
Oh, wait upon the drs. Keep hope if a dr has not told you this. My son did not talk until after he was two, not even "momma"... he was sullen, silent, often sulky. Once he started to talk, he was a laugh a minute. So much fun. He is so bright and a light every where he goes. Very smart. A's all through school. He has so many friends. He is a joy to be around. Loving and kind.

Hold out your hope and try to not take on burdens or crosses you haven't yet been asked to carry. He may be waiting until he has something to say. Then, OH BOY... watch out! God Bless.

New York Sue
March 15th, 2013, 01:18 AM
Tracy, my dear, you just may have the MOST brilliant of minds on your hands!
I have a neighbor I have grown to adore. In the young years, we were raising our kids. I had girls, she had boys.
(First off, let's respect that girls talk sooner than boys, for GOOD reason....)
That said, she had 2 boys within 18 months. They honestly, developed their own method of communication between themselves. I cajoled Momma into speech therapy, because she was confused. And I was alarmed. (These kids were not right....)
It was weird to watch, but I can say now, MMM....
One is now serving our country, after higher education, as an Intelligience Officer in the Armed Forces. The other has a 4.0 average at a prestigious Engineering College in my neck of the world.
Both, socially appropriate now. I am thrilled to announce we 'made the cut' to attend the Officer's wedding! WOOHOO

Jean Sewing Machine
March 15th, 2013, 01:34 AM
You gals sure do have a lot on your plates! I know they say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but when my husband had brain cancer, my boss was riding the broomstick on a daily basis, and my daughter's husband was sentenced to go to prison while she had a tiny baby, I remember yelling up at the sky saying, OK, God, you can quit laying on me any time now!"

You all have my prayers to hang in there and deal with your kids' problems and do what's best for them and try to keep your sanity!

SuzyQue
March 15th, 2013, 01:44 AM
I do think sometimes God does give us more than we can handle, just so we can ask Him to help carry some of it! Remember in our weakness, He is strong!
Tracey---it is so good to see you on here again. I have been thinking of you and that gorgeous cabin and those two adorable little boys. I can imagine you have very limited time to chat online nor sew/quilt, but I am so happy to see that when you needed to vent , you came back to us here. If I remember correctly, you don't have family near to help you. Please don't jump ahead of the professionals. You probably have a very smart boy that is thinking and just not speaking yet. I know this feels overwhelming, so please come here and ask questions. It looks like there are several here that really can help with those questions and suggestions. Breathe! Take some time for you! I know you are a wonderful mother and you have been choseI will n to be this lad's mom, so it will all be okay. You might have some busy and tough days ahead, but you will make it! I do know several families dealing with Ausbergers and Autism, so this is a topic that I am very familiar with, but I don't live with it in my home. Hugs for you. I will add you to my prayer list.

Lissau
March 15th, 2013, 03:03 AM
(((((((((((Tracy))))))))))))) l wanted to tell you that l was thought to be autistic until l was 6 yrs old and it was discovered l couldnt hear the Eustachian tubes were blocked l had to have an operation to have tubes/grommets inserted to help drain out the tubes and to enable me to hear l'm fine of course now and live a normal life ...But has your son had his hearing checked at all maybe his eustachian tubes are blocked as well ..it cant hurt to have his hearing checked and it may save you alot of heart ache honey...like you my mum was at her wits end as well she had to ask for help because she couldnt take it anymore.... Please take care and try and smile and enjoy the "me time"....

quiltsRfun
March 15th, 2013, 03:45 AM
At the recommendation of friends who are teachers, my granddaughter was tested for autism just before she turned 3. It wasn't a matter of one test or one doctor, but a whole panel of specialists. All agreed that she has high-functioning autism. My daughter and SIL are thankful for their friends' advice which also included resources available through the school district. GD she was given therapy until she reached age 3, at which time she was eligible to start special ed pre-school. Her class is specifically for kids with autism. Summer classes are also available through the school district. She's 4 now and we can all see that the early intervention has really helped. It was hard for me to accept that my grandchild was different and I still wonder what her future will be like.

This story is not to say that your son does or does not have autism. The important thing is to find out what you're dealing with. Then you can take steps to do what's best for your child. Whatever the case, find out what resources are available in your area. It can make a big difference. It can also give you some free time. For right now, enjoy your day out. You need to take care of yourself so you'll be able to take care of others.

rebeccas-sewing
March 15th, 2013, 05:54 AM
Not much I can say that hasn't already been said. I'm sorry for your troubles. The sooner he is diagnosed, the sooner you can start getting him the help he needs. I'm glad he's finally starting to get some sleep since that means you too can rest. Getting that much needed sleep will help you deal with the challenges you face. I have a friend who has a child who is autistic. David is very bright and actually very enjoyable to talk with. I'm sure there are different degrees of autism. I don't know to what degree he is autistic but he seems to be functioning quite well. If your son does indeed have autism I hope this will be the case for him as well. I hope you were able to relax a bit on your jaunt to the dentist. Vent away on The Forum. It's definitely good therapy.

Bubby
March 15th, 2013, 06:01 AM
Tracy, My heart goes out to you and your little family. You are all going through a lot right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My grandson was born with two devastating neurological issues, apraxia and dysarthria. He was told he would never speak, read or write. He will soon be 19 and he's borderline genius when it comes to music...he reads, he talks and he can wriite! There will be a way through this for Corbin and your family. I'm sure you have friends or family who would be glad to help you when you need a break. I won't forget to pray for you...Hugs, Barb

Musical_Starling
March 15th, 2013, 06:48 AM
http://www.sadmuffin.net/cherrybam/graphics/comments-hugs-and-kisses/hugs-and-kisses008.gif (http://www.cherrybam.com/hugs-and-kisses-comments.php)


I HAVE to comment on the GIR picture. I LOVE that show (Invader Zim), I actually have the box set that comes in a box shaped like their house :D

Okay, back to the serious post. You are helping your son more than you could know :) You have recognized that there is an issue and you are taking steps to help him. THAT is wonderful! Whether it turns out to be something silly or something bigger, you're proactively trying to figure out how to help him before it becomes a big issue down the road. That is to be commended :) I could only wish my sister was so proactive toward my nephew, but any doctor who has tried to tell her that there may be an issue has been yelled at, and my parents back her up so it's a lose-lose situation for the little guy :(

WendyI
March 15th, 2013, 12:55 PM
Tracey I'm so sorry that you are struggling with this...but before you panick definitely have him assessed. My very best friends son is autistic and I absolutely ADORE HIM! Yes they are quirky and difficult but you will love him just the same. The hope is that Alberta is more progressive in providing early intervention because that is SOOO important! Ontario is NOT. My friend moved to California and receives excellent care...but they're so progressive there and they recognize the importance of early intervention.

Be thankful first and formost that if it IS autism, you have caught it at the best possible time! My friends little guy was non-verbal until he was three but he is also fairly high functioning in motor skills...he was doing things at four months that blew my mind. It sure must be difficult for you but you will be just fine!! ((((HUGS))) There is an EXCELLENT book on autism called Loving Lamposts (apparently there isa video as well. If you can, you should read it. My neighbour and good friend also has a son that is autistic. She said that book was an absolute gift to her. It helps you cope and realize that no matter what, you will love your child. (((((((((((HUGS))))))))

mom4him
March 15th, 2013, 01:05 PM
Tracy, one of the things that raise a red flag for me when I re read your post is your statement "playgroup for Corbin is a nightmare". You know your child best but one of the things I found with our son was that a group of children was way to much for him. Forcing him into it did not help at all but in fact seemed to make it different. When my son and daughter in law would come with their family (7 children) he would very soon spiral out of control. He is not 12 and just the last 7-8 months I have noticed that he handles the groups much better, even enjoys it.

I understand the need to get/keep them socialized but I found it much better to do it with just one or two children max. Oh, also, for whatever reason, it seemed like he delt with the group better if it was at an out door area like the park, even the one or two children.

I pray you are enjoying your day and that your are able to find what is right for your son.

cyndiofthevortex
March 15th, 2013, 01:11 PM
Life sure can be hard at times, can't it? I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now. I know you must be scared. Exhaustion doesn't help, either. Lean on your friend for babysitting if you can, and lean on us as well for support. We all care about you.

GuitarGramma
March 15th, 2013, 01:17 PM
Here's another story to help you have hope. My niece was speech delayed. She was three years old and still not talking. Her parents enrolled her in delayed speech classes, and she was the only girl.

Fast forward a couple of decades: she was a straight A student and is now a high school English teacher! And a model Christian, and loving wife and mother. No social awkwardness at all.

There's a US columnist named Thomas Sowell who's son was diagnosed autistic, when he actually was speech delayed. The therapies for each are very different. Fortunately, Mr. Sowell figured this out and got appropriate therapy for his son. So please Google his story and read about the difference. Even professionals can be wrong. (Small warning: Thomas Sowell is politically quite conservative, just in case that would bother you.) Here's an article to get you started: http://kelleyward.hubpages.com/hub/Children-Who-Talk-Late

Blessings to you!

dwil23
March 15th, 2013, 03:10 PM
I have nothing to add but my prayers and ((HUGS)).

madampolo
March 15th, 2013, 10:46 PM
Tracy and Lisa, I think it is important to have some time to yourself. If there is any way to arrange for such time (as you did for your dental appointment), I think that would benefit you a lot, clearing your head to address problems that come up. I feel for both of you. I hope you each find the doctors that will be able to help, and perhaps each of you has.

BellasQuilts
March 15th, 2013, 11:01 PM
Yep, first a hug from me too. My brother didn't talk either and then when he did it was full sentences. Kids do things their own way, so hang in there, hon. No matter what, you are the most special person he will ever have in his life. Take you "me" day, we all need them! Sending you prayers and blessings.

buckeyequilter
March 15th, 2013, 11:07 PM
My grandson was about 3 1/2 before he was talking. He went to speech therapy and doctors but nothing was helping. At about 4 he started talking real good and now he won't shut up....so give him time :)

MayinJerset
March 16th, 2013, 09:54 PM
I have nothing to add but my prayers and ((HUGS)).

Me too. May in Jersey

RhondaRae
February 4th, 2015, 06:02 PM
Was Corbin diagnosed? Just wondered. I have an autistic grandson.

kaydee
February 4th, 2015, 07:23 PM
Do you have early childhood special ed classes in Canada? If so, I strongly suggest you get him enrolled. My neighbor has a son, who when he was two, would have been described in a similar way. Yes. He was diagnosed with autism. Immediately after diagnosis, he was put into the early childhood special ed. He is now in 8th grade, and you would not know he has autism (if you didn't already know). He looks and acts like a typical early teen. Perhaps a little on the introverted side, but there is nothing wrong with that. He excels in Karate and does average in school.

I know of several other similar cases. It is AMAZING the success they are having treating children today. Granted, there are those severe cases, but in every case I've seen, you would not know the child is autistic by the time they are in middle school.

Also, it's quite possible he doesn't have austism. My son didn't talk at two, but when he did start talking, he talked in complete sentences. The first thing I heard him say was "I fall down." I'll never forget it. Also, two year olds are frequently a moody handful.

Anyhow, I'd get him enrolled in early childhood classes, asap. Even if it's not special ed EC, the experience will be good for him and you, and it will get him exposed to teaching professionals.

K. McEuen
February 4th, 2015, 07:39 PM
Just an FYI ...

This thread is almost 2 years old and the OP is very rarely on anymore. I imagine she has her hands full with her boys at the moment, so I hope that the two of you who commented today aren't waiting around for a response ...

kaydee
February 4th, 2015, 08:28 PM
Well, I ought to take a closer look at the time a thread starts. I just saw "today" posted on the menu, so I read the first post. That's the second time I've commented on an old thread. At least this time I didn't get in "trouble". :)

Thanks for cluing me in, Karen.

RhondaRae
February 4th, 2015, 08:48 PM
thanks K I took a chance and I knew it was old. Not a problem