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shorte85
March 14th, 2013, 05:03 AM
Can you please have your lovely husbands talk to my husband? LOL! I keep seeing all these posts about you guys getting these goodies. If only my husband was your husbands, ha ha! I would love to be able get a sewing machine, anyone mind me borrowing a husband so I could get a sewing machine and then you can have him back? LOL

Honest, all I want is a new sewing machine with a few features my sewing machine does not have.

:P

dwil23
March 14th, 2013, 05:08 AM
i could give you my ex husband - and you wouldn't even need to send him back!!!!:lol:

Suzyq
March 14th, 2013, 05:12 AM
Too funny! CJ, would your hubby even consider going halfsies on a new machine for you?

rebeccas-sewing
March 14th, 2013, 05:15 AM
One thing that has kept us from arguing over the spending of money is giving ourselves an allowance. That way you have some money that's your own and you don't have to feel guilty or accountable for how it's spent. When we started a family we decided it made more sense for me to stay home with our children. Since Joe was the one supporting us it was decided early on that we should have allowances. It's worked out really well. Of course, I'm always in debt but I do keep track and I will eventually pay off my debt. Joe knows this so he just laughs when I start stressing over "the debt." I've paid it off many times over the years. Haha! Now, granted, the allowance is the same as it was when we married 30 years ago so I get a pittance. Joe's smart. He knows if we increase it I'll still always be in debt. Haha! I highly recommend setting allowances if you don't already do so. That way you can go out and buy yourself that new machine and smile at him all the way through the door when you come home with your new toy!

Evilynn
March 14th, 2013, 05:28 AM
I had a huge novel written but deleted it - I will just say that I wished I had a husband that gave me a certain amount of allowance too. :p

rebeccas-sewing
March 14th, 2013, 05:37 AM
If you're staying at home and feeding him, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, taking care of his children, and doing who knows what else that benefits him, then you deserve some money of your own. Put you foot down, ladies! If you decide to go back to work, think of the expenses. You'll need a wardrobe. Your travel expenses will increase. You'll have to hire a nanny or day care if you have young children. The kids will be sick more often and medical bills will roll in. You'll end up eating out more because you'll be too dang tired to cook every night and the list goes on. You deserve some financial payment for all that you do to make his life easier! Don't sell yourself short!!! If you are also working plus doing all of the above your allowance should be twice what his is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shorte85
March 14th, 2013, 05:38 AM
i could give you my ex husband - and you wouldn't even need to send him back!!!!:lol:

Hm, how do you know he'll give me what I want? LOL ;)


Too funny! CJ, would your hubby even consider going halfsies on a new machine for you?
Yeah, I doubt that. LOL :P If he was willing to go half and half on a machine I wouldn't be having this conversation, unfortunately. LOL


One thing that has kept us from arguing over the spending of money is giving ourselves an allowance. That way you have some money that's your own and you don't have to feel guilty or accountable for how it's spent. When we started a family we decided it made more sense for me to stay home with our children. Since Joe was the one supporting us it was decided early on that we should have allowances. It's worked out really well. Of course, I'm always in debt but I do keep track and I will eventually pay off my debt. Joe knows this so he just laughs when I start stressing over "the debt." I've paid it off many times over the years. Haha! Now, granted, the allowance is the same as it was when we married 30 years ago so I get a pittance. Joe's smart. He knows if we increase it I'll still always be in debt. Haha! I highly recommend setting allowances if you don't already do so. That way you can go out and buy yourself that new machine and smile at him all the way through the door when you come home with your new toy!
Allowances for us is kind of hard right now only because of the fact that he's the only one working and what not. I know you say you don't work, but he only works part-time and what not. But yeah that's a whole another story. lol


I had a huge novel written but deleted it - I will just say that I wished I had a husband that gave me a certain amount of allowance too. :p
Awe! You deleted your novel? I would have read it, honest! lol ;)

shorte85
March 14th, 2013, 05:39 AM
If you're staying at home and feeding him, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, taking care of his children, and doing who knows what else that benefits him, then you deserve some money of your own. Put you foot down, ladies! If you decide to go back to work, think of the expenses. You'll need a wardrobe. Your travel expenses will increase. You'll have to hire a nanny or day care if you have young children. The kids will be sick more often and medical bills will roll in. You'll end up eating out more because you'll be too dang tired to cook every night and the list goes on. You deserve some financial payment for all that you do to make his life easier! Don't sell yourself short!!! If you are also working plus doing all of the above your allowance should be twice what his is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I definitely know what you are saying. But since we do not have any kids, he has a part-time job and I do not have a job it's a little different. If that makes sense?

Musical_Starling
March 14th, 2013, 05:45 AM
Not so sure you'd want a 6'8" giant CJ lol

I agree with Rebecca, DH and I already decided that when we have kids I'll be staying home. Considering the price of childcare, if I went back to work I would simply be working so I could pay a stranger to look after my kids as pretty much my entire paycheque would go to them lol So it's more economical if I stay home with the kids, at least then I'll know for sure where they picked up those curse words from :icon_giggle: And then I'll be able to keep on top of laundry, cleaning, and of course SEWING! Although DH will still be expected to help with the "chores", maybe I'll lighten his load a LITTLE... I'll load the dishwasher :D

Iris Girl
March 14th, 2013, 05:57 AM
I think some ladies are lucky and have wonderful great husbands that are caring and thoughtful. the rest of us suffer with the average male. I won't say mine is *bad* , but he definetly thinks of himself first, Is not the kind to spring random surprises on me unless I have explictly told him what I want and showed it to him.He isn't handy around the house, but he is a good shade tree mechanic so has kept my car in great shape.He has held a steady job in 30 years of marriage save one for 16 years and is unemployed at the moment. But I love him and hes mine better or worse. so we deal with it. So back to an allowance not really applicable in this situation either.I fit in a piece of fabric here and there when we have *extra* cash . Maybe one day the economy will pick up...we can hope.

Evilynn
March 14th, 2013, 06:30 AM
We do have one baby (soon 6 months old... omg - is this real?! She is growing so fast... :icon_sniff: ) and he has a full time job. I am the one staying at home because my finnish skills are kinda meh still and on top of that I have now this awful disease that needs to be taken care of first. It's not like he is not giving me anything at all but I feel he spends far more for his gaming time. I once said that I would love to have the same amount in money for myself (not only fabrics but also clothes for me, I haven't seen a hair dresser in ages etc) making him give me extra cash that month for fabrics - but that was about it.
But I dont wanna complain. I know he loves me and our baby sincerely, he sometimes brings flowers (perhaps 2-3 per year) on special occasions (last time I got some on international womens day) and shows his love in other ways. I just wished there would be sometimes less discussing time about me wanting to buy fabrics. ;)

Roxanne
March 14th, 2013, 09:09 AM
I had a huge novel written but deleted it - I will just say that I wished I had a husband that gave me a certain amount of allowance too. :p

Haha, I did the same thing and I totally agree with you. I want an allowance. I think my husband will agree with that idea. He is pretty easy to get along with.

Jess1377
March 14th, 2013, 09:22 AM
Can you please have your lovely husbands talk to my husband? LOL! I keep seeing all these posts about you guys getting these goodies. If only my husband was your husbands, ha ha! I would love to be able get a sewing machine, anyone mind me borrowing a husband so I could get a sewing machine and then you can have him back? LOL

Honest, all I want is a new sewing machine with a few features my sewing machine does not have.

:P


Did you read my mind!?! LOL! Ugh... he is just kind of like "eh, yeah, ok... sounds interesting, you like that you say?" Then thats where that conversation ends. :icon_neutral: Sigh.... maybe one day he will get it?

Jess1377
March 14th, 2013, 09:31 AM
If you're staying at home and feeding him, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, taking care of his children, and doing who knows what else that benefits him, then you deserve some money of your own. Put you foot down, ladies! If you decide to go back to work, think of the expenses. You'll need a wardrobe. Your travel expenses will increase. You'll have to hire a nanny or day care if you have young children. The kids will be sick more often and medical bills will roll in. You'll end up eating out more because you'll be too dang tired to cook every night and the list goes on. You deserve some financial payment for all that you do to make his life easier! Don't sell yourself short!!! If you are also working plus doing all of the above your allowance should be twice what his is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Rebecca, how I wish my DH understood that. He is in the mindset that now that our kiddo is getting older I should go to work but our son has special needs that is not visible but more of a learning disability and my DH not only said that when he, himself, got to middle school that his grades got lower because his mom went back to work and wasnt there to help him and keep him in line. So what the heck is the point of going back to work to pay for all the added expenses and child care, tutoring because of falling behind, and to have our son be presented with more difficulties in doing his work and truly learning and reinforcing the skills he has been working on go down the drain??? My poor parents were always working, one at night one in the day and we only ever saw one with time in between of school and dinner without one being there. I hated it but they had to do what they had to do for us ~ one reason why I wanted to only have one kid, so we could afford the option of me being able to be a stay at home mom. Why must it mean that once your child is in middle school or high school you have to go back to work ~ especially if you know your child needs extra help with his work that he will likely forget about doing if you werent there for him!?

Can you tell this is an issue thats been discussed lately in my home? lol.... kind of ;)

buckeyequilter
March 14th, 2013, 09:32 AM
i could give you my ex husband - and you wouldn't even need to send him back!!!!:lol:

She can have mine too.....and doesn't have to send him back either!


One thing that has kept us from arguing over the spending of money is giving ourselves an allowance. That way you have some money that's your own and you don't have to feel guilty or accountable for how it's spent. When we started a family we decided it made more sense for me to stay home with our children. Since Joe was the one supporting us it was decided early on that we should have allowances. It's worked out really well. Of course, I'm always in debt but I do keep track and I will eventually pay off my debt. Joe knows this so he just laughs when I start stressing over "the debt." I've paid it off many times over the years. Haha! Now, granted, the allowance is the same as it was when we married 30 years ago so I get a pittance. Joe's smart. He knows if we increase it I'll still always be in debt. Haha! I highly recommend setting allowances if you don't already do so. That way you can go out and buy yourself that new machine and smile at him all the way through the door when you come home with your new toy!

This is what Jim and I do...and yep I'm always in debt *haha*. It keeps us from dipping into the household fund for our hobbies, for the most part. If I'm making curtains or something for the house that fabric comes from household funds but everything else is paid for from my allowance (or sometimes funded with a small loan from the house).

Lisapc
March 14th, 2013, 09:45 AM
When we moved into our home in 2008 we had a horrible ice storm 3 weeks later and spent 10 days at my parents house. Hubby was recovering from chemo, working part time and I had a 4 yr old son. I wanted to get the Christmas shopping done while I had nothing to do at my mothers house and he said, "don't we have bigger things to worry about right now". He said it with that look on his face. So we got back into our house about a week or so before Christmas. I managed to get our shopping done for the kids but got nothing from him on Christmas morning. I wasn't talking to him and 3 days later I sent him an email with an add/description of a 2k sewing/embroidery machine that was on sale for 1400. and told him since he was saving his money to wait until after Christmas sales that this is what I wanted. I added that if I didn't get it he could take my suitcases out of the garage for me to pack.

He got it. There was no reason to not get me something, we don't spend money like that but I was so livid after all that we had been going through for him to destroy my heart and what felt like my soul Christmas morning and not even flinch over it and then have the nerve to ask my why I was upset. I got my machine and have presents every Christmas morning since. Nothing even close to that expensive but he finally got the hint. I am really easy to buy for and some of my favorite gifts are coffee mugs, fairies and pyrex pie plates.

Start hiding money. I have just started not spending $1 bills. They add up fast and I had an extra $30 to spend on fabric this week.

Renate
March 14th, 2013, 09:52 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyduncFpzl4

This is a I have to say, when men do not respect the little wishes of their woman, who are really at their back

Wwena
March 14th, 2013, 09:55 AM
My husband did not give me a machine, I bought mine. :) No complaints that way haha!

Lisapc
March 14th, 2013, 10:07 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyduncFpzl4

This is a I have to say, when men do not respect the little wishes of their woman, who are really at their back

I just sent this to my hubby at work. I have never sent a link or a joke to him at work ever before. Renate this is priceless.

MayinJerset
March 14th, 2013, 10:18 AM
Love that Doghouse, LOL! Some men are really clueless about gifts for their wives.

SandyWhite
March 14th, 2013, 10:18 AM
Husband is sitting at the desk paying the household bills. Not a good time to tell him I'd like another expensive item to feed my addiction.:icon_kiss:

Evilynn
March 14th, 2013, 10:27 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyduncFpzl4

This is a I have to say, when men do not respect the little wishes of their woman, who are really at their back

I had to laugh when I saw this. I had to laugh more when I read the comments of some men - so much hate and crying over a commercial, really? Thanks for sharing this! It's hilarious!

LynneLeavell
March 14th, 2013, 10:42 AM
Iris Girl my husband is the same way. He will rat hole his expense checks and run off of our account. I haven't figured out how to say something to him because it won't sound nice no matter how many times I practice it in my head.

CJ I would loan you my husband but you still wouldn't have the new sewing machine. Good luck.

WendyI
March 14th, 2013, 10:44 AM
Wow...K..first...that commercial is hilarious and I LOVE IT...and second...all those people commenting...yikes. The internet has really exposed some horrifying human beings. Thankfully all the awesome ones are here!

As for my DH, he IS fantastic I must say...but I also work full time so don't feel like I deserve any less than he gets...and my "toys" are MUCH less expensive than his are I can tell you. If you are on a fixed or stretched income then I can see how it would be difficult...once things pick up you can buy the machine you want just for you! HAng in there!

GinnyKNC
March 14th, 2013, 10:48 AM
Years and years ago my hubby and I decided that life was short and if there was something we really wanted we would just buy it. I can tell you that I've been laid off many times over the past 13 years and I do sometimes think twice and say no to myself even if my DH is telling me go a head because you know if you decide later you want it that it won't be there blah blah blah. For most of our birthday, Christmas, etc. we usually buy our own gifts too. But he is actually the one who talked me into my last sewing/embroidery machine. I hope you get one soon :)

Evilynn
March 14th, 2013, 10:49 AM
You can imagine how frustrating it is for me to see him uploading more and more money (sometimes really insane amounts) to his game-site - and when I ask for fabrics, it's like "sorry, you have to wait til 15th/1st" .... :| I would own a whole fabricstore by now if I had the same allowance for myself. Thankfully for him, we can afford his "hobby".
But as I said, I dont wanna complain - and as I said to him sarcastically already "it's YOUR money...."

rochellejay
March 14th, 2013, 11:10 AM
In my relationship, there is my account and our account! See the trick is to control the money! ;)

Cat n bull
March 14th, 2013, 11:33 AM
Oh wow I could not do it if I had to get permission from my husband for every purchase! My husband is my best friend and my partner and I would not be content with that kind of unbalanced (TO ME) relationship.

If I ever went up to him and said Hey I want to buy this fabric..he would look at me like I was crazy and say And you're telling me this WHY???? He doesn't have the time or the energy to keep track of everything I buy and he'd be really annoyed if I tried to involve him in all my sewing purchases.

He trusts me enough to know I am not going to bankrupt the family or let us starve, I would be beyond enraged if he EVER tried to tell me what I can and can not get. We trust each other and we LIKE it when we each get to enjoy things we like. I would never do that to him either.

As for sewing machines, I DO ask for his input, if there is going to be any kind of negotiating he is the one to do it. But to tell me no, you can't get a machine?? Would NOT work out well for him.

(Hubby just walked in the door and I just asked him What would you say if I ever ASKED you Hunny can I get this charm pack? And he busted out laughing. He said I can't say no the the $3 thousand dollar machines, it would NOT go well for me. He then said well I spend (A LOT) of money on fish, so who am I to say what you spend $$ on? Yes he is a keeper.)

Last machine I got I had been talking about getting a 2nd machine for Christmas and my birthday is right after, so 2 days before christmas we finally had a chance to go shopping together, and I asked him if we could go to the sewing machine dealer. He didn't really want to but did it anyways. And we walked out with my QE4 machine.

I just heard that Pfaff is releasing 4 new machines in April and I've already told him I want at least one new one and if they are nice enough 2. One is a 14 lb travel machine that I want because a 25 lb machine is hard for me to take out. The other one is the new Expression. I LOVE having a machine to sew on while my embroidery machine is stitching out a design, and I want the same quality as my embroidery machine to sew on. I may get another embroidery machine. As long as we have the $$ for it and it's not going to harm our family, I'll get what I want and he'll get what he wants.

I have not worked outside the home in 22 years. He has worked out of our house for the past 14 years and got a REAL eye opener when our grandson was born and lived here about what it's like to take care of a baby all day long. He tells me all the time he could NEVER do it.

We do not have my money/his money. We have OUR money, and we share it equally. It has worked for us for over 25 years now.

Cat n bull
March 14th, 2013, 11:34 AM
Renate OMG that is funny!

LOLOLOLOL!

WendyI
March 14th, 2013, 11:42 AM
When my son was born I told my DH I didn't want to worry about money anymore. So I made a deal...I look after Liam and all that he needs from school to daycare to doctors appointments and clothes....I take care of it all and work full time. He manages the money. It can be frustrating when I say I want to get something and he forgets to budget for it so I have to wait but for the most part we have very few fights over money. He wishes I would be more involved but honestly, I SUCK at it. When I managed the money we were paying over a thousand dollars a year in late fees for our bills...not cool. So now he does it and our bills are always paid on time....we spend every other cent we make but at least all our bills are paid. LOL! It works for us, and for the most part I get what I want....although I'm way harder on myself than he is. For example, if I go shopping alone I will be careful what I buy and get ONLY EXACTLY what I need (with the exception of fabric of course...I always buy extra) but if he is with me I'll easily get double!

Cat n bull
March 14th, 2013, 11:48 AM
Wendy my husband and I are just the opposite. He earns is and I manage it. He HATES dealing with bills and the checking account, so I do it. He just spends it and I keep track of it. MUCH easier now that there is online banking! No more phone calls to the automated system trying to write down every purchase.

We do make sure to have a savings account and retirement accounts.

edit: forgot to say I LOVE! your son's name! Liam is an AWESOME name!

Evilynn
March 14th, 2013, 11:52 AM
I love random surprises. Not that my husband made me one, this time my father did. There was randomly money on my hubbies account from my father, as a gift for us! AFter paying 2 bills I will pay food and there is still left for me and my fabrics. I won't ask if I may, I will simply order. :P

CountryHut
March 14th, 2013, 12:30 PM
ladies ladies ladies -- ever heard of -- reverse psychology -- LMBO*~ works everytime

ILove2quilt
March 14th, 2013, 01:15 PM
I could give you mine but he hasn't bought anything for me in so long I can't even remember what it was. So sorry I can't help you. lol OH wait I think he gave me the rest of his chips one day.

Evilynn
March 14th, 2013, 01:58 PM
I could give you mine but he hasn't bought anything for me in so long I can't even remember what it was. So sorry I can't help you. lol OH wait I think he gave me the rest of his chips one day.

Hope you're only joking :(

HdWench
March 14th, 2013, 02:18 PM
LOVE the Dog house clip hehehehehe

Can NOT give you mine - I'm disable and he finally retired, but we saved SO hard when we both worked. Finally a few years ago he realized you can NOT take it with you, so while I carefully spend I get what I want!

oh yeah this Christmas without asking I SEE a new laptop come in -- I didn't ask for it, yeah maybe "need" it, but it is a DOG house gift!!! I said WRAP it if this is what you think I get for Christmas!!! Then I ordered a hundred $ from MSQ :-) THAT is what I wanted... I unwrapped his "gift" turned it on, said ok it works -- AND it's March -- STILL in the dang box (hoping he got the hint by now!!!)

I have ASKED for a gas Weed Eater for my b-day before - uh I like power tools too hehehe but unless I ask for something special, they just do NOT think about what we Dream about!!

Can you find one that is maybe a couple years old and "SAVE him $$" Reverse phys works too. Can't say doing extra around the house to make it cleaner, laundry done, dinner on table promply is MY way of doing things but if you think that will soften him Shortie give it a go...

I also like the idea of putting a few extra dollars to the side hidden -- I "found" $100 after months of putting that extra money from the grocery's to the side.

I will OMG GLADLY send you my 1st husband and please do NOT Return - he comes with NO returns :-) if possible, he was stingier than any man I met!! Hence the X part

buckeyequilter
March 14th, 2013, 09:22 PM
In my relationship, there is my account and our account! See the trick is to control the money! ;)

We have that too....my account, his account and our account. We only have debit cards on our personal accounts....works out nicely.