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View Full Version : Is nevermid the new whatever?



Hulamoon
November 28th, 2012, 07:40 PM
Do you have this problem? My DD who still lives with me at 23 has this thing she does. She will walk down the hallway, into the bathroom etc saying somingthing and I'll say what, because I can't hear her. And it's always nevermind. I'll say just tell me and then it's "what does it matter". I have been trying to break it but nothing I say works.

Every time I bring this up 'it's well you do that too'. I told her I want to stop it. It's like this stupid little battle where someone has to win and I just hate it.

cyndiofthevortex
November 28th, 2012, 07:55 PM
I hardly ever understand my 18 year old and 20 year old sons! They mumble while they walk away from me and I cannot hear what they are saying. So I translate what I thought I heard. "So what I just heard was that you want to put the watermelon in the dryer. Is that right?" It sometimes motivates them to repeat whatever it is they said. At least it usually makes them laugh.

K. McEuen
November 28th, 2012, 08:26 PM
Ah, my daughter and Cyndi's sons would probably communicate just fine.

The funny thing is, I've heard my daughter with her friends and have no issue hearing her or understanding what she is saying. But when she's talking to me it's either mumbling as she is entering/leaving the room or so quiet and squeaky that no one but the dog can hear her.

bkthomas
November 28th, 2012, 08:30 PM
CYNDI, LOVE THAT!!!

auntiemern
November 28th, 2012, 08:41 PM
All kids mumble. That is just how it is. Nothing we can do about it, so we might as well just ignore it.

CountryHut
November 28th, 2012, 09:00 PM
- I have noticed that kids today -- they talk as fast as they can text message -- I just asked my neice last evening - if she hit send yet . . she says . . WHAT . . I told her that I didn't understand what her mouth was trying to say -- she laughed and repeated what she had to say . . ha ha got her . . .


Diane :)

EnumclawGramma
November 28th, 2012, 09:37 PM
In my home we call this "teenage mush mouth". It happened with my kids and now I see my grandchildren doing it. It's frustrating as all get out! I believe their peers speak the same language. My daughter is a "low talker" and my Mother used to say "she doesn't waste words". Quiet. She used to get really frustrated with me saying WHAT. Now she knows, if she wants to be heard she needs to speak up and clearly. So, I'm saying it does get better.

Divine Daisy
November 28th, 2012, 09:41 PM
Let me tell you a storyyyyyyyy....

After I retired I worked on a voluntary basis at a Law Centre which provides free legal advise for those who don't qualify for legal aid for whatever reason, and who can't or won't see a mainstream lawyer. There can be many many reasons for this, non of them relevant to this story but I mention it so that it is not thought that the people who visit are unpleasant or wasters or whatever.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyy

One morning I went into the Centre after a fairly stressful commute and was asked to see a young man who had been arrested and bailed a few weeks previously, had not sought legal help and was expected in court in less than an hour. I rushed in to see him without even grabbing coffee. He slouched there in a hoodie with the hood up and his head down so I couldn't see his face. He shuffled and mumbled into the zip of his hoodie so I couldn't hear him. By this time court was in 35 minutes and I had next to no idea what was what. I tried everything..........30 minutes to court. Finally I snapped.

I said in a very strict voice, 'sit up, take the hood off your head, look me in the face and speak properly ! He nearly jumped out of his skin.......and sat up etc etc etc.

Two months later I went into the Centre to be greeted by squeaks and sqeels and people diving under their desks as I appeared. I'm like......huh?

Seems the young man had returned, needed a lawyer again but didn't want to see 'that short lady in the glasses' when asked why he replied looking down and kicking the ground....'She's............................' Everyone waited with bated breath for the expleative 'a b*tch' or worse then he filled in the gap with 'not very nice'

Snorts

For weeks I suffered the label of being 'not very nice' and had the whatsit taken out of me for ages but I just used to say......DO it! or I will come over there and be not very nice'. Shakes head........kids

Monique
November 28th, 2012, 09:43 PM
Instead of saying "What" say "I did not hear you, can you repeat that please". My granddaughter speaks very low and mumbles. Drives me crazy. I just tell her that she has to speak up and speak clearly so I can hear her.

toggpine
November 29th, 2012, 04:50 AM
I am too much of a smart a$$ for "What?"
In our home we have the advantage of knowing sign language. My daughter has hearing loss and we weren't sure if it was progressive, so the whole family learned. So if I can't hear them, I'll start signing while speaking slowly.
I have also played the "What I heard" game. That works better with the older kids. The six year-old just laughs and tells me I'm silly when I tell her we aren't having hippo burgers with cheese for supper, or something like that.
She will talk soft, high, & squeeky sometimes. Then I go get her dolphin and ask him to translate. Again, that makes her giggle and I eventually get the story right.

Here "Never mind" gets the reply: "But, I do mind.
For the "What does it matter?" thing, my reply would be: "It mattered enough for you to tell me the first time, and YOU matter enough to me that I want to know what you said. Wether silly or serious, your thoughts and words are important to me, which is why I am asking you to repeat them now that I can hear you better."

In our house, hearing is a difficult thing sometimes. Hubby is losing some of his due to work & age. Em is partially deaf. Step-son has selective hearing of the teenage variety, and sometimes I just don't want to listen to any more crap from any of them! I have found that conversations need to be held in the same room or paused while traveling. Seriously! I'll say in the cheesy operator-voice "Please hold.", or shout "Hang on!" when I run the water in the sink or go to the other room to switch laundry. It seems to work. Either they will wait, or they will follow me and keep talking.

Good luck & keep trying!

Blondie
November 29th, 2012, 07:39 AM
Not very nice? = makes perfect sense when one hasn't even had a cuppa after a horrid and stressful commute.


32775
Love your stories daisy dear




Let me tell you a storyyyyyyyy....

After I retired I worked on a voluntary basis at a Law Centre which provides free legal advise for those who don't qualify for legal aid for whatever reason, and who can't or won't see a mainstream lawyer. There can be many many reasons for this, non of them relevant to this story but I mention it so that it is not thought that the people who visit are unpleasant or wasters or whatever.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyy

One morning I went into the Centre after a fairly stressful commute and was asked to see a young man who had been arrested and bailed a few weeks previously, had not sought legal help and was expected in court in less than an hour. I rushed in to see him without even grabbing coffee. He slouched there in a hoodie with the hood up and his head down so I couldn't see his face. He shuffled and mumbled into the zip of his hoodie so I couldn't hear him. By this time court was in 35 minutes and I had next to no idea what was what. I tried everything..........30 minutes to court. Finally I snapped.

I said in a very strict voice, 'sit up, take the hood off your head, look me in the face and speak properly ! He nearly jumped out of his skin.......and sat up etc etc etc.

Two months later I went into the Centre to be greeted by squeaks and sqeels and people diving under their desks as I appeared. I'm like......huh?

Seems the young man had returned, needed a lawyer again but didn't want to see 'that short lady in the glasses' when asked why he replied looking down and kicking the ground....'She's............................' Everyone waited with bated breath for the expleative 'a b*tch' or worse then he filled in the gap with 'not very nice'

Snorts

For weeks I suffered the label of being 'not very nice' and had the whatsit taken out of me for ages but I just used to say......DO it! or I will come over there and be not very nice'. Shakes head........kids

Lisaau
November 29th, 2012, 08:37 AM
My husband often mumbles and l simply say " l cant hear you" he either gets annoyed and repeats himself with a louder voice or gets annoyed and l say "would you rather l ignore you"...which gets him speaking louder

Sandy Navas
November 29th, 2012, 12:19 PM
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking?"

MayinJerset
November 29th, 2012, 10:58 PM
They really just don't want us to know what they are doing so whenever we question them about something they've done or someplace they went they can say 'but I told you about it yesterday.' Yeah, they told us while we were on the phone and they were passingby on the way to their room or the bathroom. And they talk too fast, especially teens. Had to stop DGD the other day because I didn't understand a word she said. Speaking to them on the cells is even worse, I really miss the clarity we used to have on our old phones .

Oh while we're on the subject, don't you just hate it when you call a company and have no idea if you reached the right place as you couldn't understand what the person who answered the phone said? They get so used to saying their company's name that they slur it all together into a big mumble.

Hulamoon
November 30th, 2012, 01:22 AM
This made feel so good reading these stories. I don't really have any friends with kids this age. I can't just ignore it because she is an adult after all. She will tell me something, I say what and when I ask about that something again she will tell me I told you that already. Don't you remember? She lives in my house and i don't wan't this disconnect all the time. The funny thing is that she was my little shadow and wouldn't leave my side, slept in bed with me until dad came home because he worked at night. I did all her crafty school projects together, I taught her how to sew. now she is so different. I guess I'm feeling sad.

MayinJerset
November 30th, 2012, 12:35 PM
Since you were so close when she was younger the treatment you are getting is probably her way of trying to break loose and be her own person. At her age living at home doesn't contribute to being on her own so you're getting the 'treatment'. Of course we know it isn't our fault our kids act like that but who else can they blame? Themselves? Oh, nevermind, LOL!

Sandy Navas
November 30th, 2012, 09:08 PM
This made feel so good reading these stories. I don't really have any friends with kids this age. I can't just ignore it because she is an adult after all. She will tell me something, I say what and when I ask about that something again she will tell me I told you that already. Don't you remember? She lives in my house and i don't wan't this disconnect all the time. The funny thing is that she was my little shadow and wouldn't leave my side, slept in bed with me until dad came home because he worked at night. I did all her crafty school projects together, I taught her how to sew. now she is so different. I guess I'm feeling sad.

The more I think about this I only have one solution. You need to print out some "0FFICIAL" letterhead and bills and send her a bill for 'living expenses' and stand firm!!!!