View Full Version : One Week Later

October 22nd, 2012, 09:53 PM
Hello, Forum Friends. I was finally able to read all your wonderful messages without breaking out in tears. I am doing well, almost too well. Sometimes I feel like I'm still in denial, and other times I jumped right to acceptance. I don't know where I am in my grief. I cry at times, not often.

My Dad is doing very well. He's told me several times that he's really glad I was here with him. I asked him the other day if he would like me to say...cuz I would, if he wanted me to. His answer was "NO!" He needs to be alone to grieve. He's being so strong for us.

My sister and I have spent several days cleaning out my Mom's clothes. My older sister and I took some of the clothes. My neice will try on a brand new pair of tennis shoes when she arrives. I'm also taking home a load of fabric and several quilts that my grandma had made but not bound...Mom had added too them to make them bigger but they still need batting and backing and then to be bound. My Mom was very active in Relay for Life as a Survivor. I've taken all her t-shirts and I'll make a quilt from them. But then the question is, who does the quilt go to? A question for another day.

My Dad will stay here in this house for awhile, maybe until summer. He keeps telling me that everywhere he looks he see my Mom. I agree. Her memories are everywhere.

I'm sorry for rambling. Thank you for all being there for me! Mom's service will be on Thursday and on Friday I go home. I can't even imagine leaving my Dad now, but I know I have to go.

My love to you all!

Pam in Vegas (by way of Kingman)

October 22nd, 2012, 09:56 PM
Good to hear from you, Pam. You are walking in the grace and peace of the Lord. Keep trusting....it's one day at a time. Hugs, Barb

October 22nd, 2012, 10:11 PM
Good to hear from you and to know you are doing well. You will have good days and you will have days in which the tears will flow freely. Glad to hear you are taking some of you mother's things to make a quilt. I know it is too soon to think about but a Relay for Life quilt made with your mom's shirts could be used as a raffle prize to raise money for Relay for Life.

Hang in there. God bless you.

October 22nd, 2012, 10:12 PM
Just as Barb said, it's one day at a time :) You have a great support system in your Dad and your sister, and all of us are here to support you as well.

A thought to keep in the back of your mind for the "Relay for Life" t-shirt quilt, if you or your sister or Dad don't want it, maybe give it to your local cancer foundation. Here we have a building called "Daffodil Place" and it's kinda like a Ronald McDonald house for adult cancer patients. If you have a place like that, maybe they'd love to have it as a wall hanging if you don't know what else to do with it :)

October 22nd, 2012, 10:26 PM
Hi Pam, it's great to hear from you. Time, that is all you need. I know you will make a beautiful quilt from your mom's t-shirts. Perhaps you have enough to make a few. Take care my friend.

October 22nd, 2012, 10:29 PM
Hi Pam............Good hearing from you. I was going to suggest the same thing as Donna about the T shirt quilt. It would be a nice way to honor your Mom and raise money for something that was important to her. Praying for you and hope that good memories and God's peace will comfort you. Take care.

Good to hear from you and to know you are doing well. You will have good days and you will have days in which the tears will flow freely. Glad to hear you are taking some of you mother's things to make a quilt. I know it is too soon to think about but a Relay for Life quilt made with your mom's shirts could be used as a raffle prize to raise money for Relay for Life.

Hang in there. God bless you.

October 22nd, 2012, 10:42 PM
Hi Pam. Glad to hear you are doing ok. Every one grieves in their own way, so just, as the others have said, take it one day at a time. I still, after a year, have my moments. Will have you and your family in my prayers.

K. McEuen
October 22nd, 2012, 10:58 PM
Pam, know that everything you are feeling is normal. You'll have good days and bad and some days when something will trigger, and the waterworks start flying. I remember about 6 months after my mom passed, driving in the grocery store parking lot and seeing a woman that somewhat physically reminded me of mom. Started bawling in the car. I was jsut glad I was still in it, would have felt like an idiot crying in the middle of the parking lot.

My mom also went before my dad. He stayed in the house about a year, then decided it was too much for one person to take care of with the yard and all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. He got a mobile home in a park not too far from they house and lived there about 4 years on his own before he moved in with my sister. He did ok. Hehe, I remember getting a call from him about 8 months after my mom died, telling me he was taking a lady to dinner and he wanted to tell me before I found out from someone else. I live in another state, not sure how I would have known, but it tickled me that he had to let me know. He even called me the day after to let me know how it went.

Life goes on. Your mom lives on in your memories.

Glad that you are checking in with us.

October 22nd, 2012, 11:20 PM
Pam.....it is good to hear from you..........as others have said...take it one day at a time....with God's help you will get through this.....
{{{HUGS}}} & {{{{PRAYERS}}}}

October 22nd, 2012, 11:43 PM
Pam, I am so glad that you were there with your family, and that you and your sister and niece are able to take home things that you will treasure. You all continue to be in my heart and thoughts and prayers.

October 22nd, 2012, 11:52 PM
Have been thinking of you often...thanks for the update.....yes your father needs to grieve on his own...as do you as well....keeping all of you in prayer and hugs

October 23rd, 2012, 04:31 AM
Nice to hear from you Pam, we all grieve in different ways, it is only early days for you, know that we are there for you sending hugs and prayers to you and your family.

October 23rd, 2012, 04:58 AM
Pam, it is good to hear that you are doing well. Grief is a strange thing, but it works. You will have ups and downs. That is to be expected. In time, you all will find a "new normal".

October 23rd, 2012, 07:59 AM
Pam, good to hear from you. I know it is a cliche, but time does heal all wounds. I still grieve for my mom who passed away last December, but it has gotten easier. I will never stop missing her, which is OK. Treasure your memories and laugh and cry as you need. It is all part of the healing process. You remain in my prayers.

October 23rd, 2012, 08:26 AM
Pam, it's good to hear from you. Everything you're feeling is normal, grieving is a process that's different for everyone. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts.

October 23rd, 2012, 09:25 AM
Pam, grief is different for each of us. As the ladies said in the above comments, one day at a time, actually at times, one minute at a time. You will have a host of emotions. Just take a deep breathe and remember your Mom is in your heart.

Sandy Navas
October 23rd, 2012, 10:41 AM
It does sound to me as if you are handling everything as you should. There will always be questions - should I have done this, should I do that - and yet each person has to deal with the loss as they can. All I can say is don't hold it in. Let all those tears flow and do not be sorry for any of them.

What you've gone through is so difficult - we're still keeping you and the family on our prayer list! Hugs to you!!

October 24th, 2012, 01:08 PM
Its good to have an update, you and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers.

October 24th, 2012, 01:29 PM
Pam glad you checked in to let us know you are ok...grief is diff for us all so cry when you need there are lots of people here for you...Your dad sounds like a very strong man..prayers for you all...(((HUGS)))

October 24th, 2012, 01:38 PM
Pam, glad to see you here online for a bit. We've missed you and been praying for your family. Sending you hugs.

October 24th, 2012, 04:31 PM
Glad to hear you and your family are healing. Take care.