I'm back home after spending a week with my Dad and sitting at my Mom's bedside. I'll be driving back to Arizona next Friday; earlier if needed.
I'm afraid I don't have good news. Mom's primary doctor requested a family meeting today. He told us that Mom is extremely sick. She has E. coli from when her colin was disturbed during surgery, pneumonia and her kidneys aren't working. They suctioned out a buck of junk from her lungs today and she is breathing easier, but the pneumonia is getting worse. Her kidney's have stopped making urine, hence she's on dialysis. As I said in an earlier thread, Mom is on a respirator. Depending on when we visit, Mom's temperature could be too high or it could be very low. Mom is getting medication to keep her blood pressure up, but they keep having to increase this medication. Wednesday she was given two units of whole blood. Thursday they gave her two units of platlets. There are 5 doctors working to help my Mom and round the clock nursing.
Today the primary doctor requested a family meeting. He told us what has happened to this point, which we know. Then he told us that they have done 2 cat scans of her belly. At this time they will not do anymore surgery because it's not necessary. But they will get new scans every couple of days to check for pockets of infection. They will only do surgery if there is a clear infection that has to be removed.
Here's the problem. Right now he is giving her a 50% chance of surviving this. If they do surgery, there is a chance she won't survive. If she does, her chances of recovering from the second surgery and all the other problems is only 10%. The doctor asked my Dad today, if her heart stopped, what do you want us to do. With no hesitation, he said do everything you can to revive her. I had asked my Dad that same question yesterday. Mom and Dad had never discussed this. The doctor said that with as sick as she is, there is a very real chance that her heart could stop at any moment.
To everyone who is reading this...take a few minutes with your spouse or significant other and discuss whether or not you want to be kept alive with the aid of machines? If you or your spouse/significant other's heart were to stop, do you want the doctors to do everything possible to save that person's life? It's not an easy conversation, but it can be important. Also, if there's one person in the family who pays bills, make sure the other person knows how to pay them if need be. My Dad has never had to pay bills. Now he's learning the hard way. He didn't even know where my Mom's checkbook was. Also, Dad has never done any grocery shopping. He's learning now.
It's so amazing how you can go into the hospital for a relatively routine surgery and end up on death's door. My Dad won't visit my Mom because it breaks his heart. I've been going because I don't want her to be alone. My sister goes because Mom is her best friend in the whole world!
I'm sorry if I've been rambling. Driving home today was really hard. I'm only 2 hrs away, but that can seem like a lifetime.
Thank you, everyone, for your prayers.
Love to all,
Pam in Vegas
I'm afraid I don't have good news. Mom's primary doctor requested a family meeting today. He told us that Mom is extremely sick. She has E. coli from when her colin was disturbed during surgery, pneumonia and her kidneys aren't working. They suctioned out a buck of junk from her lungs today and she is breathing easier, but the pneumonia is getting worse. Her kidney's have stopped making urine, hence she's on dialysis. As I said in an earlier thread, Mom is on a respirator. Depending on when we visit, Mom's temperature could be too high or it could be very low. Mom is getting medication to keep her blood pressure up, but they keep having to increase this medication. Wednesday she was given two units of whole blood. Thursday they gave her two units of platlets. There are 5 doctors working to help my Mom and round the clock nursing.
Today the primary doctor requested a family meeting. He told us what has happened to this point, which we know. Then he told us that they have done 2 cat scans of her belly. At this time they will not do anymore surgery because it's not necessary. But they will get new scans every couple of days to check for pockets of infection. They will only do surgery if there is a clear infection that has to be removed.
Here's the problem. Right now he is giving her a 50% chance of surviving this. If they do surgery, there is a chance she won't survive. If she does, her chances of recovering from the second surgery and all the other problems is only 10%. The doctor asked my Dad today, if her heart stopped, what do you want us to do. With no hesitation, he said do everything you can to revive her. I had asked my Dad that same question yesterday. Mom and Dad had never discussed this. The doctor said that with as sick as she is, there is a very real chance that her heart could stop at any moment.
To everyone who is reading this...take a few minutes with your spouse or significant other and discuss whether or not you want to be kept alive with the aid of machines? If you or your spouse/significant other's heart were to stop, do you want the doctors to do everything possible to save that person's life? It's not an easy conversation, but it can be important. Also, if there's one person in the family who pays bills, make sure the other person knows how to pay them if need be. My Dad has never had to pay bills. Now he's learning the hard way. He didn't even know where my Mom's checkbook was. Also, Dad has never done any grocery shopping. He's learning now.
It's so amazing how you can go into the hospital for a relatively routine surgery and end up on death's door. My Dad won't visit my Mom because it breaks his heart. I've been going because I don't want her to be alone. My sister goes because Mom is her best friend in the whole world!
I'm sorry if I've been rambling. Driving home today was really hard. I'm only 2 hrs away, but that can seem like a lifetime.
Thank you, everyone, for your prayers.
Love to all,
Pam in Vegas
And I completely agree with letting loved ones know your wishes. My husband is well aware of my wishes and so is one of my sisters. When something like that happens it's hard enough to see your loved ones go through that, but not knowing what they would want makes it even harder. Thanks for keeping us posted, and for the reminder to have "the talk" 
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