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phoots
October 13th, 2012, 02:35 AM
I'm back home after spending a week with my Dad and sitting at my Mom's bedside. I'll be driving back to Arizona next Friday; earlier if needed.

I'm afraid I don't have good news. Mom's primary doctor requested a family meeting today. He told us that Mom is extremely sick. She has E. coli from when her colin was disturbed during surgery, pneumonia and her kidneys aren't working. They suctioned out a buck of junk from her lungs today and she is breathing easier, but the pneumonia is getting worse. Her kidney's have stopped making urine, hence she's on dialysis. As I said in an earlier thread, Mom is on a respirator. Depending on when we visit, Mom's temperature could be too high or it could be very low. Mom is getting medication to keep her blood pressure up, but they keep having to increase this medication. Wednesday she was given two units of whole blood. Thursday they gave her two units of platlets. There are 5 doctors working to help my Mom and round the clock nursing.

Today the primary doctor requested a family meeting. He told us what has happened to this point, which we know. Then he told us that they have done 2 cat scans of her belly. At this time they will not do anymore surgery because it's not necessary. But they will get new scans every couple of days to check for pockets of infection. They will only do surgery if there is a clear infection that has to be removed.

Here's the problem. Right now he is giving her a 50% chance of surviving this. If they do surgery, there is a chance she won't survive. If she does, her chances of recovering from the second surgery and all the other problems is only 10%. The doctor asked my Dad today, if her heart stopped, what do you want us to do. With no hesitation, he said do everything you can to revive her. I had asked my Dad that same question yesterday. Mom and Dad had never discussed this. The doctor said that with as sick as she is, there is a very real chance that her heart could stop at any moment.

To everyone who is reading this...take a few minutes with your spouse or significant other and discuss whether or not you want to be kept alive with the aid of machines? If you or your spouse/significant other's heart were to stop, do you want the doctors to do everything possible to save that person's life? It's not an easy conversation, but it can be important. Also, if there's one person in the family who pays bills, make sure the other person knows how to pay them if need be. My Dad has never had to pay bills. Now he's learning the hard way. He didn't even know where my Mom's checkbook was. Also, Dad has never done any grocery shopping. He's learning now.

It's so amazing how you can go into the hospital for a relatively routine surgery and end up on death's door. My Dad won't visit my Mom because it breaks his heart. I've been going because I don't want her to be alone. My sister goes because Mom is her best friend in the whole world!

I'm sorry if I've been rambling. Driving home today was really hard. I'm only 2 hrs away, but that can seem like a lifetime.

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers.

Love to all,
Pam in Vegas

K. McEuen
October 13th, 2012, 02:43 AM
Sorry that you all weren't given better news. It's crazy that going in for something fairly routine has turned into this. Really a huge part of why I hate hospitals.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Musical_Starling
October 13th, 2012, 03:12 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Pam. It's incredible how quick things can happen sometimes :( And I completely agree with letting loved ones know your wishes. My husband is well aware of my wishes and so is one of my sisters. When something like that happens it's hard enough to see your loved ones go through that, but not knowing what they would want makes it even harder. Thanks for keeping us posted, and for the reminder to have "the talk" :)

brook
October 13th, 2012, 03:29 AM
Pam, I am so sorry about your Mother's condition. It's hard to make that terrible decision for someone you love. I also know it's also hard to watch them suffer. God has helped and comforted me through MANY times in my life in critical matters, I know he can comfort you too.

bkthomas
October 13th, 2012, 04:12 AM
My prayers are with you Pam.....

shannonsaulter
October 13th, 2012, 04:19 AM
Pam such a hard thing to go through..been there..stay strong..and I hope people have that hard talk with their families..

Klasien
October 13th, 2012, 04:56 AM
My thoughts are with you Pam, I hope you have a good night rest and please take good care of yourself!!!

((((HUGS))))

dwil23
October 13th, 2012, 05:06 AM
Pam, my heart is breaking for you and your family. This all sounds like my Mom's situation in so many ways. Hers started with an asthma attack. I will keep you all and her doctors and nurses in my prayers.

Winniesfriend
October 13th, 2012, 05:19 AM
Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family Pam, I do so agree with you about having "the talk" unfortunately I have seen the situation many times when people do not know what there family member might prefer as there end of life management, and so many do not have realistic expectations.....I hope you mum continues to improve.

Jean Sewing Machine
October 13th, 2012, 06:47 AM
Pam, I am so sorry to hear how sick your mom is. I pray for her recovery, and know how difficult it is to make those dfficult decisions on ressusitation, been there myself with my own parents and husband.

CrazyMtnLady
October 13th, 2012, 08:15 AM
My prayers are with you and your family.

Bubby
October 13th, 2012, 08:50 AM
Pam, I'm so sorry your Mom is having such a rough time. I am keeping your Mom and you and your family in prayer. I'm glad you are able to be with your Mom. (((Pam)))))......Barb

Monique
October 13th, 2012, 09:09 AM
Pam, my heart breaks for you. Prayers being said for you and your family. Sending you cyber hugs.

RFREE
October 13th, 2012, 09:30 AM
Pam I am so sorry to read this. I went through a similar situation with my own mother. Please know my prayers will continue for her and your dad. Please take care of yourself and stay strong for them.

quilter.martha
October 13th, 2012, 10:05 AM
I'm so sorry to learn of your mom's condition Pam. You are in my prayers. God can and will give you all comfort and strength in the days ahead.

Sandy Navas
October 13th, 2012, 10:40 AM
We are still praying for your Mom and an ease of her pain and misery. We pray for healing if that's God's will. Life was never promised to be easy. I often wonder why it seems some people float through life and others are met with heart-ache. Praying for you, your sister, your Dad, and especially your Mom.

nurrsey
October 13th, 2012, 10:56 AM
Pam, my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours for your mother's recovery. I agree....end of life is difficult to discuss -but it is necessary for everyone to know the wishes of that person.

aliaslaceygreen
October 13th, 2012, 10:56 AM
oh, Pam.... my heart hurts for you.... and all the decisions your family has to make.... hugs to your dad as well...he sounds lost, poor dear...

Jess1377
October 13th, 2012, 10:59 AM
My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you Pam!

MayinJerset
October 13th, 2012, 11:33 AM
Feeling helpless as there isn't much I can do but keep up my prayers. God was good to DH and I as our parents all went quickly and no 'big' decisions by us were necessary. , May in Jersey

BellasQuilts
October 13th, 2012, 12:02 PM
Pam, praying for your mom's recovery and peace for you.

MRoy
October 13th, 2012, 12:14 PM
Pam, your family continues to be in my prayers. As my mom's POA, I had to sign a DNR order when she was no longer able to. It was hard, but she had told all her children many times that she didn't want any extraordinary measures and we knew we were carrying out her wishes. God bless you all during this difficult time.

middlesis1966
October 13th, 2012, 12:19 PM
Pam still praying for you and your family. Hugs as well!

HandsOffItsMine
October 13th, 2012, 12:54 PM
(((Pam))) Prayers for your Mom and your family. I feel for all of you, especially for your father, they've been partners in life for so long. Much love and strength to you.

Huggers, Ruby and Don

lilmouse
October 13th, 2012, 12:58 PM
Keeping you and yours in prayer, Pam, sending out cyber hugs...your poor father, it is hard to have to learn so much so fast and deal with the heartbreak that he is going through right now!

pcbatiks
October 13th, 2012, 01:24 PM
Prays for strength for you and your family.......

promqueen
October 13th, 2012, 01:25 PM
It's really hard to go through this; been there too. I'm so glad you reminded everyone to make their wishes known to their family just in case. Sad you are going through this and remember to take care of yourself also. Mary Ann

sewmuchjan
October 13th, 2012, 06:52 PM
Prayers for you Pam and your Mom, Dad, and Sister.

Hugs,
Jan G.

quiltingtrish
October 13th, 2012, 08:15 PM
Pam, prayers are still coming for you and your Mom and I know how tough it is for Dad to take over the reins, my Dad had to do that too.

Hugs for your heart,

mommadeb
October 13th, 2012, 08:47 PM
Such sad news. Many hugs and prayers to all of you.

janluna
October 14th, 2012, 03:53 PM
Pam our prayers are ongoing for you, Mom, and Dad, and Sister. Joe and I have signed a living Will, for just this reason. We have sent copies to our kids, our Doctors, and our health insurance company. It was so much easier this way. Also, your Dad is scared. Scared because of the possible life changes heading his way. I'm sure, so are you and your Sister. Your Dad is older now and if Mom has taken care of everything, he has to be in sheer panic. Prayers for your Mom for healing, and for your Dad, you and Sister, to still the fear and panic. Love and Hugs, Jan L.