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View Full Version : Wedding Invitation Etiquette ... HELP!



ttucsok
August 10th, 2012, 03:32 PM
So my husband (actually my fiance, I just am used to calling him my husband already) is going to school this fall for his Automotive Service Technician apprenticeship. We were going to get married next year but having our second child this July and now his schooling we have decided to move the wedding until after he is done his school, so about three years. Which is good because now I have more time to save up for my dream wedding in Jasper, Alberta nestled right in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. Now my problem: for about $10'000 I can pull off my dream wedding in Jasper. For about $5'000 we can have the wedding locally. In Jasper I would be maxed out at 60 people including guests and wedding party. If we do it local I could go up to 200 guests within budget. And believe me we could hit 200 guests easy peasy pudding pie. Another factor is that Gord hates crowds. He's the tall, dark handsome and quiet type, and likes to be around a few people here and there but hates crowds of people especially if they are all staring at him. I however am a social butterfly and a 200+ person wedding would be right up my alley! He is telling me that I am already pushing my luck with him at 60 wedding guests. (lol, men.) So for the sake of having my dream mountain wedding, I am willing to slash and hack the guest list to 60 people which puts us at immediate family and closest friends only. Now my question, what do I do about all of the people that are near and dear to me but I just don't have room for on the guest list? I don't want to ignore them and have them find out through the grape vine we went and got married only to be insulted that they were not invited. So then do I send them a notification of the event instead of an invitation? Should I explain how much they mean to our family but that we just didn't have the room? My poor little head is swimming with this issue and I thought only to rely on the one place I get the most reliable advice. The Missouri Star Quilt Company Forum, where all the best "Dear Annie's" and "Dear John's" frequent. So thanks in advance, I can't wait for some input!

Since it's been a while since the last updates, the babies are doing good. Here is new baby Clayton James, he is rockin about 8lbs 8oz now at two weeks
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And here is proud big brother Corbin Wesson doing what he does best, playing "Guess what I just ate while you weren't looking".... I still don't know what it was!
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rebeccas-sewing
August 10th, 2012, 04:17 PM
Well now, let me see. That's a tough question. I do think your fiance should have some influence on your plans. Brides have a tendency to make it all about them and the groom just has to go along with whatever the bride wants. Doesn't seem quite fair to me. If he will enjoy his wedding more, if there are 60 people rather than 200, I'd say you should go with the sixty. Maybe you could throw a couple of smaller gatherings with the others at a later date! Maybe a simple barbecue. Call it something like "A get-together in celebration of our recent wedding." To me, closest friends and family are really the ones who need to be there to witness your union. My wedding was very nice, very simple with 120. If I had it to do over again, I'd consider just family and closest of friends. I mean super close friends. The ones who have been there for the long haul.

One of the best weddings I ever attended was a very simple one. At the bride's sister's home. They got dressed up, stood in front of the fireplace, said their vows and then the party started! What a party! Delicious homemade food on the diningroom table, all the beer or wine you could drink, someone playing the piano and someone on a horn. There were probably 25 people there. I had a blast! The funniest part about it - my husband took me to the wedding when I first started seeing him. The bride was his ex-girlfriend! Hahaha!

The pictures of the children are darling! Make sure you post some pics of the big event. Congratulations in advance!

cassie a newbiequilter
August 10th, 2012, 05:42 PM
I totally agree with Rebecca have your nice family wedding and have get togethers at a later date, that way nobody feels left out and you have more time to be social,, Cassie

phoots
August 10th, 2012, 05:54 PM
I agree. Have one or more parties for other friends later.

Pam in Vegas

Sandy Navas
August 10th, 2012, 05:55 PM
Unfortunately I am the wrong person to answer you. The reason? When Al and I got married we were married by our Army Chaplin and there were EIGHT people there (besides the bride and groom) and only FOUR of them had been invited. I wore drab olive green, as did the groom. I would have it NO other way. After the wedding I had to report to the barracks for floor detail cleaning and then on to my 11 pm - 7 am scheduled work at the Emergency Room.

I know there are dreams by little girls (and big girls) of what their wedding should or could be. But I guarantee you that in the long run the money could be put to better uses. Run down to the local justice of the peace, take Mom and Dad with you, and save that money for your boy's education. Later on, after Gord has finished his training and you've spent time getting to truly know each other better, then celebrate in the biggest way possible say at 10 years or 25.

A white gown and hundreds of people witnessing don't do anything to make the marriage last.

K. McEuen
August 10th, 2012, 06:13 PM
Unfortunately I am the wrong person to answer you. The reason? When Al and I got married we were married by our Army Chaplin and there were EIGHT people there (besides the bride and groom) and only FOUR of them had been invited. I wore drab olive green, as did the groom. I would have it NO other way. After the wedding I had to report to the barracks for floor detail cleaning and then on to my 11 pm - 7 am scheduled work at the Emergency Room.

I know there are dreams by little girls (and big girls) of what their wedding should or could be. But I guarantee you that in the long run the money could be put to better uses. Run down to the local justice of the peace, take Mom and Dad with you, and save that money for your boy's education. Later on, after Gord has finished his training and you've spent time getting to truly know each other better, then celebrate in the biggest way possible say at 10 years or 25.

A white gown and hundreds of people witnessing don't do anything to make the marriage last.

Sounds a lot like my wedding. Married by the judge at the courthouse in downtown Albuquerque. Hubby wore his dress blues, I wore a light blue skirt and white eyelet blouse. Both sets of parents were there, his brother and sister in law, my best friend and his best friend. Had a reception at the house that afternoon and half the squadron and half the people I worked with at Levi's showed up. We went to a softball tournament the next day.

I'd try to scale down my "dream" wedding even a bit more than 60 and then a little while after (maybe after you get a wedding video back) have a reception/cookout/party or something for the rest of the people you would have liked to invite. I've been to receptions like that. A friend got married at the temple in Salt Lake City and then had his reception at the Mormon church here in town. We all got to celebrate their marriage with them and that was just as good as seeing them get married, at least to me.

BTW, I learned when my daughter was young, unless you have chocolate sitting out, you probably don't even want to ask what they ate when it's brown and unidentifiable. Seems she had a fondness for Purina Dog Chow ...

BellasQuilts
August 10th, 2012, 06:29 PM
I agree with Sandy. Save your money for the kids' college and just run down to the Justice of the Peace.

ttucsok
August 10th, 2012, 08:59 PM
So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

EnumclawGramma
August 10th, 2012, 09:28 PM
So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

NOW you're talkin! I got married (38 years ago) in San Antonio Tx by a justice of the peace. We had two friends as witnesses. Loved it.We renewed our vows at 10 years with our folks and closest friends in attendance (and my 3 kids!). I've often looked at what couples spend on weddings and honeymoons and thought the money spent is a down payment on a nice sized home....

Anyway, it really is about both of you. If He's down with eloping....that's a really romantic option and would make for a sweet story down the road when your boys ask you to tell them the story about when......

Jean Sewing Machine
August 10th, 2012, 09:30 PM
So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

Now there's an idea worth considering! I vote for this one! I haven't been to Jasper, but have been to Banff, what beautiful country that is, it would be a dream to have a wedding there. I cried when I saw Lake Louise, didn't think this gal from the middle of the U.S. would ever see it, and it was definitely on my bucket list! Hope your plans go as well as possible to make everyone happy. Babies are darling, especially the one with the brown lips!

bobw103
August 10th, 2012, 09:30 PM
Oh Sandy you make me laugh but you did hit on a great idea and ttucsok, I agree, save the money and buy the machine...everyone is happy!
Good luck with your plans, enjoy your day, the kids are adorable and congrats.

BellasQuilts
August 10th, 2012, 09:41 PM
Well, get packing!!! Post pics when you get back!

So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

NanaB
August 10th, 2012, 10:43 PM
So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

That option gets MY vote!!!

Debbie MM
August 10th, 2012, 10:54 PM
I eloped and had a party later, my husband does not like crowds either, used the money saved for a house

auntiemern
August 10th, 2012, 10:56 PM
Have to agree with Sandy. Big weddings are just a money pit, and you really don't even get time to enjoy it. Did that the first time. My DH and I were married in our home with our best friends and matron of honor and best man. Our parents, our kids and a very view very close friends. Save the money for your kids education or get your long arm. I can guarantee you will get more enjoyment out of either, than the stress of planning and executing a 'wedding'. And yes the babies are adorable.
Now there's an idea worth considering! I vote for this one! I haven't been to Jasper, but have been to Banff, what beautiful country that is, it would be a dream to have a wedding there. I cried when I saw Lake Louise, didn't think this gal from the middle of the U.S. would ever see it, and it was definitely on my bucket list! Hope your plans go as well as possible to make everyone happy. Babies are darling, especially the one with the brown lips!

madampolo
August 10th, 2012, 11:39 PM
There is no reason to put off the wedding. I sometimes wonder why people do. I knew my current husband six months before we married, and we did the "in front of the fireplace" thing. So, plan that wedding for the very near future!

buckeyequilter
August 10th, 2012, 11:50 PM
My ex and I eloped. My DH and I got married at a Renassiance Faire....full ren garb, bagpipes, carriage ride - about a 2 1/2 hour drive and a lot of the people I invited actually came to see it (of course they had free tickets and food tickets). Fun wedding, fun day.

My vote is... elope and get yourself a long arm machine as a wedding gift :)

kelliedi
August 11th, 2012, 01:05 AM
I vote for the little wedding and long arm too .... or a good get away for your little family......If I ever get married again .... its a BBQ potluck and surprise wedding, whoever shows up those are the witness' and let the party start........ and lei's for flowers...

Musical_Starling
August 11th, 2012, 01:36 AM
This sounds all too familiar... Jolly Green Giant and I got engaged in December of 2006, and didn't get married until last September because we kept putting it off and putting it off. Our original guest list was nearing 300, and it was STRESSFUL!. Then, in December of 2010, I said "Enough!" the Giant doesn't like crowds anyway, and he has a tiny family, so we decided to stay small and save the money, and I AM SO GLAD I DID!! We had our ceremony and reception at The Wilds golf course here in NL and there were 13 people, including us!. I love making things, so I made my own invitations, centerpieces, bouquet, favours, even my own cake! My avatar is our cake topper, on a single layer, 18" cake with marshmallow filling :) And by saving so much money we could get married a lot sooner, we had extra money for the things we really wanted, like pictures. Hubs wore a suit with a pink and black tie, I wore a dress that I designed myself, and it was beautiful :) People still tell us that it was the best wedding they've ever been to because there was no craziness and no huge crowd, you really felt like you were a part of our special day. And they loved not wearing tuxedos and stuffy dresses!

So I say stay small, just have a very small, private, personal wedding, and then have a party at your house later for those who couldn't come with you :) Maybe even show some wedding pictures at your "at home reception" and I think you'll find that people will enjoy themselves a lot more without the "formalities" of a wedding. No stuffy clothing and no listening to speeches, just celebrating the happy couple! And save the extra money for something that's actually worth it, like college funds, or a good house payment, or a longarm ;) Think of it this way: At the end of the day, what's more important, the wedding or the marriage? :) Remember that for every wedding decision you make and you'll do it right!

Madeforyouinma11
August 11th, 2012, 02:28 AM
So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

I also vote for this idea. For my first wedding we did the whole nine yards with about 250 people. It lasted for 25 years (10, maybe 15 good). With my second husband, we were together for about 4 years and had been talking about getting married. I got sick, nearly died in January of 09. We thought "what are we waiting for"? All that was important was that we were together. He had never been married before, so the list was mostly the people he works with, his family which is a total of 5 people and I had my sisters and brother. We had it in a friends backyard, she made the cake and we did all the food ourselves. We had chicken and steaks on the grill and a clamboil. My husbands best friend got his license to marry us, which made it even more special. We had a DJ friend that played all day and there was a pool for everyone to swim. I made all my invitations, centerpieces and favors. We had a great time as did everyone else. They still talk about it 3 years later. I guess my point is that the only real important thing is you, your hubby-to-be and your children. Use the money you would have spent for his school, or like the others said, your children's school or yes even a longarm. Trust me, experience has taught me to not be so wasteful with money...sitting in the bank doing nothing is better than not having it when you really need it. It will still be a very special day.

Chocolate lips...hahha reminded me of the movie Baby Mama when she was checking what he had in his mouth, asking if it was chocolate and going in after it and tasting it..her friend then says, "what if it wasn't chocolate?" LOL

HandsOffItsMine
August 11th, 2012, 02:47 AM
Small is best! :)

Met on Monday, Oct. 22nd, 1979, proposed on Sunday. Oct. 28th - Said Yes :) Only had to agree to wait for Dad/SM & Opa & Oma in Holland to save up to get to USA for wedding. :(

First it was going to be Big Wedding in Pasadena with about 200 people, not that we have a big family, it was that my Opa on my Mom's side had invited every Dutch Indonesian immigrant who came in 1959 on the Rotterdam with them and my Mom and Dad. lol

All was going well, Europe would have $$, wedding would be in December. However, Oma on Mom's side was traveling in Europe in July and at first the doctors thought she had a stroke. States side it turned out she had a brain tumor the size of a baseball, an operation would have a low chance of survival. Oma wanted to be at my wedding, yet that prospect didn't look good without surgery.

My mom called her friend who was a VP at the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas, he reserved a bunch of suites for her, his wife booked The Little Chapel of West (Liz Taylor has one of her many weddings there lol), Benihana and the wedding cake. For about 22 people in one day...the wedding was set for August 30th, 1980.

The wedding was wonderful. The surprise was that the cake was a traditional tiered, we didn't expect that. The day itself was great and intimate. Everyone had a great time together, the jokes were flying around, Vegas is a special place for my family. We all like to gamble, except for my SM but the pool was great for her. My Oma still knew what was going on, at that point she couldn't speak English anymore. She was speaking Dutch and mixing up words because of the tumor.

Total chaos one night, we did loose Oma, she had left the Keno area, everyone was called in to look for her. Couldn't find her anywhere in the Golden Nugget. We split up, now this is before cell phones folks! Found her at the Four Queens, playing her favorite game Roulette! Had my Mom and her sister freaked out for sure, Opa didn't care, he wasn't leaving the poker table 'cause "I'm on fire!" Man, did he get an ear full that night from his daughters in his room!!

Anywho, great wedding! Saved my Mom a ton of $ as she didn't have to feed 200 of her Dad's friends :D versus Don and mine's friends.

Elope, buy a house, if you own one already, get an Long Arm! Throw a back yard party with a theme celebrating your elopement, celebrate!


The babies of course are adorable. Love when you post updates, they just change all the time.

Huggers, Ruby

Musical_Starling
August 11th, 2012, 04:32 AM
Met on Monday, Oct. 22nd, 1979, proposed on Sunday. Oct. 28th - Said Yes :)

No flies on you my dear! lol Funny story about Oma sneaking off to play roulette, sounds like something my Nan would have done! :icon_giggle:

rebeccas-sewing
August 11th, 2012, 07:29 AM
Well, I sure did enjoy revisiting this thread. I imagine my girls will marry one of these days. I'd like them to read what you have to say. My older daughter said, "Oh, Dad said he would give me $20,000 for a wedding!" Now this is a child who thinks up ideas and then firmly believes it's going to happen. I just looked at her and laughed. I think my only comment was something like "No, that's not going to happen!" Her dad and I are always secretly hoping she'll elope. If she marries her current beau, in his culture the groom's family pays half. I like the sound of that! That kid has cost us so much money and at the age of 25 she's still totally dependent on us (still in school full-time). The thought that we would shell out that kind of money for her wedding just astounds me. Heck, that's a nice chunk of change toward our retirement!!!

Monique
August 11th, 2012, 08:44 AM
I am throwing in my two cents worth. Both my sons have recently married. My oldest's was right here in town. We have no hotels close by, so my good friends offered up their homes for these strangers who coming into town for the wedding. People are still talking about this being the best wedding they have ever attended. Being from a small town, things are done differently. My BIL's gift was the band. The hall was the price of a liquor license. The hall people kept the bar, which was a REALLY good one. It was a fantastic time. Another friend's donation was a beautiful cake.

Son#2 was a small wedding as well. Jodi did all the invitations, all the decorating, her friend did the cake. BIL donated the band again. Only paid for the liqour license, another GOOD bar!! She had bought her dress on ebay and it was beautiful. Girls dresses were bought on ebay too.

THE point of all this rambling, you can have your dream wedding on the less expensive side. Consider a later wedding with no supper so it won't matter how many are there. Perhaps have a reception afterwards. Serve finger foods. Invitiations and all that other stuff you can do yourself with your good friends helping you. (My DIL makes paper flowers).

The boys are beautiful, by the way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

carolv
August 11th, 2012, 10:27 AM
We eloped...........Literally! 35 years ago last April, still going strong. Put the money in the bank. I just don't see the reason behind spending $10,000.00 on one day. I really don't want to be a party pooper here but please think a long time before you do something like this.

Sandy Navas
August 11th, 2012, 10:27 AM
So what about if we eloped to Jasper? Just him and I and our four closest friends? That would be cheap and easy. Then I get my Rocky Mountain wedding and he has no crowds to contend with. Then I can take the $9'000 remaining dollars I saved for my wedding and BUY A LONG ARM MACHINE! I KNEW YOU LADIES WOULD COME THROUGH!

The best idea you've had recently (although having a LA quilter is not necessary - like I just mentioned to someone in a PM - you can get a whole lot of quilts done professionally for that amount of money). HUGS!!

NanaB
August 11th, 2012, 12:34 PM
I saw on TV one day this week that the 'average' wedding costs $27,000!!!! That's a lot of fabric and quilting!

denisecolli
August 11th, 2012, 12:43 PM
Did ours on the cheap, did our own buffet lunch and evening still here 20 years later had a great time family and close friends. Elope to Jasper have your wedding then have a big bash for everyone else when you get home

bakermom
August 11th, 2012, 01:27 PM
when my sister remarried(2nd marriage for both)they had a small church wedding. just their own grown kids/gks, parents, siblings. we all went out to eat afterward. later on during the summer they had a big outdoor cookout. they provided the meat and wedding cake, everyone else pitched in and cooked the side dishes. everyone had a great time without a lot of expense.

searchfamilies
August 11th, 2012, 01:49 PM
I would say the very closes people who you can't invite say to them either in person, notelet or e-mail that you are so sorry that they can't be invited to share your happy day but due to financial restraints you are limited to the amount of people you can invite but so they don't feel left out you will send them a piece of wedding cake after the wedding & if need be get a extra cake to be cut up & sent or given to those who can't be invited
Hugs Janice

HandsOffItsMine
August 11th, 2012, 01:59 PM
For Kat's wedding - we a Retro Rat Pack at Planet Hollywood in Vegas as CA - GA - Holland had to meet somewhere where there would be airfair specials for everyone's budgets. And we (bride's parents) were told "in the South, the bride's parents pay for everything but the Rehearsal Dinner". They were not kidding either. lol

The chaple is contempory, it was a candlelight ceremony. The suite was retro with big living room, built in bar, with a booth on one side and a small pool table and fooz ball table, view of the Bellagio, and a huge bedroom suite on each side of the living room. Had it catered for 42, great time had by all, dancing and singing. We had a Red Carpet Video Interview/Photo of everyone coming into the chapel, no one could chicken out. I was mean...no interview, no coming in to witness the ceremony. Some of Matt's friends from work wanted to skip it. No such luck.

Came in just under $5k for 6 days including the hotel/airfair/food for Don, myself, Kat, Matt, and Zander.

My Dad & Step Mom on the Red Carpet
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Chapel 6pm
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Mr. Matt & Mrs. Kat Steger :)
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The most handsome Ring Bearer Zander with the Ring Pops
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Divine Daisy
August 11th, 2012, 03:15 PM
When Mr D and I got married, there were 25 of us, including the kids, us and parents. I did the decorating of the 500 year old hall, the cake and wore red lol. the only thing I had done was my flowers because I knew I wouldnt have time on the day and I wanted burnt orange calla lillies.

We had a lovely day, I got a bit squiffy and kept tipping people 5. We had a friend do the photographs who fell on the lake and lost the lot!

HandsOffItsMine
August 11th, 2012, 04:01 PM
Also look on-line for white/cream prom dress as a wedding dress option, Kat's Mermaid dress was $90 on sale and her white short Rehearsal Chefon dress - 50's style was $40 on sale. Seemed like the minute the dress was formally titled "wedding dress" it was 3 times more.

ttucsok
August 15th, 2012, 01:05 PM
Thank you so much to everyone for your comments, and ideas! We are definitely going to elope, once the boys are a little older because we want it to be a family elpoing if that makes sense! It is so much easier on the brain just to do it on our own with maybe our two best friends and our kids. I told my mom about it and she even offered to take the kids while we are on honeymoon. It was so hard to think of his family and mine coming together because his father and my father are raging alcoholics. I can't even imagine the horrors that could turn out from them getting together. Plus my brother in law, also an alcoholic likes to get very loud and drunk and wants to MC our wedding. He likes to sing karaoke and get very confrontational. I just found it stressful thinking about some of these toxic personalities intermingling. The only person, besides the groom of course, that has to be there is my best friend Julie. Gord said he doesn't really care if his friends are there because... well that is just how he is. He's very nonchalant. Speaking of nonchalant there is a diaper with a "code brown" calling me. At least it isn't a mouth with a "code brown"

Sandy Navas
August 15th, 2012, 07:54 PM
Thank you so much to everyone for your comments, and ideas! We are definitely going to elope, once the boys are a little older because we want it to be a family elpoing if that makes sense! It is so much easier on the brain just to do it on our own with maybe our two best friends and our kids. I told my mom about it and she even offered to take the kids while we are on honeymoon. It was so hard to think of his family and mine coming together because his father and my father are raging alcoholics. I can't even imagine the horrors that could turn out from them getting together. Plus my brother in law, also an alcoholic likes to get very loud and drunk and wants to MC our wedding. He likes to sing karaoke and get very confrontational. I just found it stressful thinking about some of these toxic personalities intermingling. The only person, besides the groom of course, that has to be there is my best friend Julie. Gord said he doesn't really care if his friends are there because... well that is just how he is. He's very nonchalant. Speaking of nonchalant there is a diaper with a "code brown" calling me. At least it isn't a mouth with a "code brown"

Once the 'code brown' is over you and Gord will be so happy that you've made this choice.

I'm chuckling - never heard it called code brown before. So right on!!

CrazyMtnLady
August 15th, 2012, 09:35 PM
Okay, I should probably not respond but: My old-fashioned morals just tell me to say. Get married by a justice of the peace. Why go for the big old white wedding deal when you already have your family? Why spend the money? Elope, and have a WE FINALLY DID IT! party. In my book when the first child was born the "big fancy wedding" went out the window. Sorry, but that is my opinion.

K. McEuen
August 15th, 2012, 10:13 PM
Thank you so much to everyone for your comments, and ideas! We are definitely going to elope, once the boys are a little older because we want it to be a family elpoing if that makes sense! It is so much easier on the brain just to do it on our own with maybe our two best friends and our kids. I told my mom about it and she even offered to take the kids while we are on honeymoon. It was so hard to think of his family and mine coming together because his father and my father are raging alcoholics. I can't even imagine the horrors that could turn out from them getting together. Plus my brother in law, also an alcoholic likes to get very loud and drunk and wants to MC our wedding. He likes to sing karaoke and get very confrontational. I just found it stressful thinking about some of these toxic personalities intermingling. The only person, besides the groom of course, that has to be there is my best friend Julie. Gord said he doesn't really care if his friends are there because... well that is just how he is. He's very nonchalant. Speaking of nonchalant there is a diaper with a "code brown" calling me. At least it isn't a mouth with a "code brown"

Darlin', had I known about some of the characters in your family, I wouldn't have bothered suggesting to elope and then have a party later. Sounds like you are better off keeping a good portion of them away from parties!

HandsOffItsMine
August 15th, 2012, 11:08 PM
Okay, I should probably not respond but: My old-fashioned morals just tell me to say. Get married by a justice of the peace. Why go for the big old white wedding deal when you already have your family? Why spend the money? Elope, and have a WE FINALLY DID IT! party. In my book when the first child was born the "big fancy wedding" went out the window. Sorry, but that is my opinion.

White only means something in the Church, outside of that building any color gown goes, it's a celebration of an union of love.

BellasQuilts
August 16th, 2012, 12:59 AM
Yep, elope and throw a very private party for yourselves and the boys! let the rest of them wonder if you did or didn't!

HandsOffItsMine
August 16th, 2012, 01:09 AM
Yep, elope and throw a very private party for yourselves and the boys! let the rest of them wonder if you did or didn't!

Now that's funny...let them wonder if you did or didn't! lol