View Full Version : Things Husbands do..........

Divine Daisy
July 12th, 2012, 01:53 PM
Something on todays good morning post made me think it was worth a thread all by itself lol

Husbands, as much as we love them have brains that simply do not always correspond with ours. Sometimes........in some cases more often than others, they do or say things that leave us either speechless or in a pickle.

Here is my (one of many) example.

It is 4.30 on a friday afternoon in winter. It is dark and snowing hard. I have just got home having had to leave work early because of the snow and because I drive a noddy car which is not good in snow (being all enviromentaly aware n sh*t). The phone rings, it is husband (now ex) .......I am bringing a couple home with me for dinner and to stay the night. Please make a nice dinner, he is very important work wise.

I have two babies, one is 8 months old, the other nearly 3. Both have chickenpocks. I did a big shop on the way home before letting the babysitter go home, in case the snow is too awful over the weekend. But........a 'nice dinner'? Bloody hell!

Anyway as I had the makings for sunday dinner (roast pork) I set to to make a nice roast dinner while at the same time changing the guest bed, dabbing, lotion on chickenpox spots, soothing baby, feeding toddler, showering and getting changed.

Ex arrives home with a nice couple. The kids are calmer (finally) and go to bed. We take our seats at the table and I serve dinner.

Turns out that not only are they observant jewish (I am not observant but could have cooked Kosha if I had known) but they are vegitarian!

Conversation in the kitchen went something like this :-

ex.said.............Oh yes I knew..............I said...........why the ***** didnt you say so then...............he said.................... didnt think

Yep......my ex

July 12th, 2012, 02:03 PM
LOL....that kind of stuff has happened to me more than once....and the excuse is always "I didn't even think about it". I always told my kids that they got their brains from their dad because I still have all mine.

K. McEuen
July 12th, 2012, 02:56 PM
That goes a long way in explaining why he's your ex.

Jean Sewing Machine
July 12th, 2012, 03:58 PM
Great story, glad you got rid of that one!

July 12th, 2012, 04:01 PM
Nope, he wasn't worth keeping!! You got a much better one now.

July 12th, 2012, 04:23 PM
Too funny! No, they rarely (if EVER) think like us. They're wired differently, and some have shorts.

July 12th, 2012, 09:05 PM
Yep that would definitely make him EX material. They just dont think.

July 12th, 2012, 09:53 PM
Love mine to death, but there are times....... Ever since he retired he just has a way of getting underfoot. Can totally understand why he is your ex. Pretty sure I would have nuetered mine had he done such a thing.

July 13th, 2012, 03:13 AM
You all are cracking me up....roflol :)

Beach Cottage Quilter
July 13th, 2012, 03:56 AM
I got one...well a motivator. "Things husbands do...."when I get the hammer out and tell him I'm going to fix something he is more eager to finish his "honey do list" Now!

July 13th, 2012, 07:22 AM
Allison, I would have taken the pork roast and hit him over the head with it!
I have to plan a nice dinner for next Wednesday when the company gets here. And breakfast the next day. DH has met the guy and talks to him on the phone a lot and online almost every day. He has even met the wife. I don't know either of them or what they like or don't like. But I'll do fine!

I like the comment Libby made about the men being wired differently.....some just have shorts.......too funny!!!!

July 13th, 2012, 12:34 PM
OMG I can see why he is your ex!!! I'm so glad that my hubby isn't that off his rocker yet!!!

July 13th, 2012, 01:27 PM
Which is why they're called 'ex'!!!

July 13th, 2012, 02:42 PM
Last Spring, we bought a new house and were moving. My husband is 6'5 and moves mountains. He is a mechanic and they don't have a forklift at the shop because he is the forklift. Anyway, I had just had our first son three weeks prior. The night we got possession of the house we took over the things of utmost importance. The bed and the television. The next day he decides to go and get the refrigerator. I asked if he wanted me to come help and he insisted I stay with baby and rest. He is such a sweetheart. On a side note: We are very different people. I like to plan and he likes to do. When we were moving the bed, I was planning the easiest way to get in through the old house to the truck and by the time I had it worked out he already had the bed in the truck. So he's now offering to go get the refrigerator. "Are you sure you don't want my help?" I asked and he assured me that I was not to be lifting anything anyway and that he could handle it. I know he could physically handle it, so may as well just let him do it. That's how he likes to do things anyway. So a few hours went by and he pulls in with our fridge. Gets out, bear hugs it and man handles it into place. I noticed the duct tape holding the doors closed and I thought, he is so smart to tape the doors shut to keep them from flying open while he is driving. Have I mentioned he is the strong silent type as well? So I mentioned his smart move for the duct tape and he said that it wasn't to hold the door shut in the wind, he did that by putting the fridge face down in the truck box. ... Oooookay... So he goes and sits down and cracks a beer... I look at him... he looks at me... "What?" he asks. "Where is the food from in the fridge?" I asked..... He looks at me...."Oh dear God no.... You did empty the fridge before you moved it didn't you??...... Come on, seriously you are joking right??......" He just looked at me. "Oh no..." So I peeled the duct tape off and opened the fridge to have it's entire contents spill out onto my new floor. I was so mad. But it was funny, so I was laughing mad. I made him clean it, but being a man I had to clean after he cleaned. It's a funny story now, but I was so peeved at the time. What was he thinking? I thought emptying the contents of a fridge before moving it was common sense... Maybe not.

Divine Daisy
July 13th, 2012, 08:09 PM
now see? THATS what I mean!

July 14th, 2012, 01:59 AM
This stuff is too funny!!! Husbands do things differently, that's for sure. Thanks for the laughs. Love, Hugs, and Prayers, Jan L.