Cheri I don't think you will damage the wood of your kitchen table if you use blue painters tape or that new green frog tape. It is designed to easily release and not leave any residue behind. I have used my hardwood floors for taping my quilt backs to and it works great, but now I am using 505 Spray and Fix exclusively for sandwiching my quilts. Since you can't use the spray or get on the floor, I think the painters tape on your kitchen table is your best option. If you are really worried about the tape, just take a small piece and test it on a small area of your table.

Also make sure your quilt back and batting is at least 2-3 inches longer on each side than your top. You need that extra backing to get everything positioned correctly and so you can easily quilt to the edges of the top.

Click image for larger version.  Name: TAPING DOWN BACKING 2.jpg  Views: 13  Size: 172.5 KB  ID: 18489