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Thread: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

  1. #31
    scooter15650 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I agree with Sandy. Point them to Jenny's tutorials. You can tell them she is can teach any one how to quilt and they can watch it over and over again. Good luck. Don't fell quilty!!!
    sewluvit likes this.

  2. #32
    alliek is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Stick to your guns, say "no, thank you for thinking of me, but I only sew for my pleasure, otherwise it becomes a chore" and smile when you say it.
    DeniseSm and sewluvit like this.

  3. #33
    settermom6 is offline Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Good morning! First of all, you should feel complimented that your neighbors have seen your work & like it enough to want to have something you made in their own homes. That being said, I am sure that living in the 55 + community has given you sort of a flash back to high school? Everyone knows what everyone is doing etc. Most 55 + living have craft or activities rooms. Perhaps you could suggest to those that have requested your services that you all contact the committee in charge of activities and see if they could put together a sewing/quilting work shop? Advise them that You Have No Time to teach one yourself - but might be willing to make a few phone call's to see if a local quilting store -or - JoAnn Fabrics would know someone? Or! Designate someone to call and do the leg work? A lot of people in retirement communities are lonely/bored. Perhaps giving them the opportunity to research setting up a class could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, ie, give them something to do & you back the privacy to quilt for yourself?
    sewluvit, songbird857 and alliek like this.

  4. #34
    Alpha O's Avatar Alpha O is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I finally had to ban the pest I had. She had decided I was her personal tailor. I had taught her to sew years ago, she was being lazy.

    Most who want fixing and tailoring or a special item offer to pay. The others who want help with some sewing how-to, get the lesson free.

  5. #35
    Grandma Nan's Avatar Grandma Nan is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I have been following and I feel sorry for you. Just a little experience I had that might keep you strong. As I have mentioned several times, we have been doing renos in our basement (building a sewing room for one thing). One of the guys who is working on this job saw me sewing every day. He kept asking me about doing sewing for him- turning up a pant hem.etc and I kept saying no I don't do that, no I don't sew for others, no sewing is my hobby, etc. Just before Christmas I was making pink camo (with John Deere emblems on it) pillowcases and he saw me do it. Again, he ask would I have time to make one for his daughter, she is crazy about camo and would love it with the John Deere emblems on it. He stated I will pay for you to make it. Feeling sorry a bit and it was Christmas, I bent and said, well the material is expensive so it will be $15 for a pillowcase. I only charged for material. He stated oh thats fine are you sure you don't want more. I said no and he paid me right then and there. I had the pillowcase ready for him when he arrived the next morning. Everything is good. Then next morning, he said, I showed my wife and she loved it. Could you make me 2 more? I hesitated but I said, if I can get the material I will do it. I went out specifically on a Sunday, found the material and made the other two the next day. When I gave them to him, he said can I pay you at the end of the week on pay day. So what choice do I have? That is the last conversation I have had with him about the pillowcases. Its not a huge amount but it is $30 (I'm thinking daily deal, fabric, etc.). This has reinforced my determination that I will not sew for anyone. I should have stuck to my guns and never will I let the spirit of Christmas over take me into sewing for others unless I choose to. They are still here working but I am not quite sure how to bring it up. I hate to speak to people who owe me money.
    sewluvit and songbird857 like this.
    Grandma Nan



    Nancy

    "Some of the best memories are created in flip flops"

  6. #36
    irishrn's Avatar irishrn is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    It's funny reading all the entries.
    While I was working I was the one who got hems to repair, pants to shorten, zippers to replace etc!
    I rebuilt a few old quilts, a Santa suit needed new fur, I made purses for all the girls but they bought their own fabric.
    I've been asked to make 2 t shirt quilts and I've never done one but it was my old boss who is asking! And I rarely say No!
    I do my DD's repairs, and her BF's alterations. Plus quilts and table runners!
    I make blankets for the dog rescue. Quilts for fundraisers. Teach friends how to quilt! Totes for the neighbors, microwave pot holders and phone cord wraps for friends and fund raisers.
    Now that I'm retired I find I have more time but I quilt less often. Seems I clean less often too!!! So I need to rethink using NO more often. But it has kept some of my garment sewing skills more current. I just don't enjoy it quite as much as quilting!
    Hard choice! But I think I'd enjoy teaching a basics class to a group. I've only done it one on one.
    My friends hear the song in my heart, and sing it to me when my memory fails. 

    Eileen

  7. #37
    coffeebreak's Avatar coffeebreak is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Lot of good advise here...but...I dont' know anything about your life, but...here's a thought....you say you are busy with other things right now and you don't want to give up your own sewing time...but...what about the future? Is it possible you could do your sewing for an income? You would be enjoying your talent ...you just wouldn't be keeping everything. And those things you make for yourself and keep...you could use those as "show" items. You'd be getting paid for something you love doing! Again, just if it is something you could use...maybe do your own sewing business instead of the family business...or just an extra source of "mad" money. Just pick a few items you like making and offer those to start. Like just offer table runners at a certain price per foot or something like that at first and see how it goes. Then add another item.

    I don't mean this to come across in any way but a helpful option idea...just an option for handling it!

    And thing is...if they are really serious about wanting your item, they will pay for it. If they are just maybe taking advantage of you or asking for a freebie...you put a price on it, and they back down...then the word gets around and the requests will probably stop...thus your problem is solved in a considerate way!! Kind of win-win situation!

  8. #38
    coffeebreak's Avatar coffeebreak is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Quote Originally Posted by Grandma Nan View Post
    I have been following and I feel sorry for you. Just a little experience I had that might keep you strong. As I have mentioned several times, we have been doing renos in our basement (building a sewing room for one thing). One of the guys who is working on this job saw me sewing every day. He kept asking me about doing sewing for him- turning up a pant hem.etc and I kept saying no I don't do that, no I don't sew for others, no sewing is my hobby, etc. Just before Christmas I was making pink camo (with John Deere emblems on it) pillowcases and he saw me do it. Again, he ask would I have time to make one for his daughter, she is crazy about camo and would love it with the John Deere emblems on it. He stated I will pay for you to make it. Feeling sorry a bit and it was Christmas, I bent and said, well the material is expensive so it will be $15 for a pillowcase. I only charged for material. He stated oh thats fine are you sure you don't want more. I said no and he paid me right then and there. I had the pillowcase ready for him when he arrived the next morning. Everything is good. Then next morning, he said, I showed my wife and she loved it. Could you make me 2 more? I hesitated but I said, if I can get the material I will do it. I went out specifically on a Sunday, found the material and made the other two the next day. When I gave them to him, he said can I pay you at the end of the week on pay day. So what choice do I have? That is the last conversation I have had with him about the pillowcases. Its not a huge amount but it is $30 (I'm thinking daily deal, fabric, etc.). This has reinforced my determination that I will not sew for anyone. I should have stuck to my guns and never will I let the spirit of Christmas over take me into sewing for others unless I choose to. They are still here working but I am not quite sure how to bring it up. I hate to speak to people who owe me money.
    Grandma Nan...if you really want to earn from your talent..tell them with deposit only. If they are serious..they will pay. If not, they will give excuse to put you off...and you won't have any expense on you. Pick a price for you pillowcases...and ask for half as deposit. That way your expenses are covered should they not want the items and you aren't out anything. If they balk about a deposit, then probably they aren't serious about it. Deposits are required on so many things we buy in life...they should have a problem with it if it is coming from a person they know. Good grief...how insulting of them! But just say you are starting a small business...my price for these pillowcases are $20 a pillowcase and I require a deposit of $10. Then explain you have to buy the supplies individually per order... and also...keep your amount an even "bill" amount...easy to grab a $10 bill than count out $8 and odds are if they have another $10 in their wallet, they'll see it and go..."oh, here's the rest" and pay up front. And the term "10 bucks" is a buzy term that says "inexpensive" to the minds of people. Used to be "a buck" and still is for people like me.....but for a purchase..."10 bucks... is that all?"...if the person is serious about buying, they won't balk. If they do, then if you choose you can dicker, or just say.."that's my price and it only takes 2 days to make them so, just let me know!" What they dont' know is you have to drive to the store to get their special fabric...there is cost in that...gas and your time. You could throw that in there too! Could be you have a nice little niche thing in the making for a little extra money for doing something you love. Dont' let one person end it before it starts! Good luck!

  9. #39
    Grandma Nan's Avatar Grandma Nan is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Thanks Cheri. I haven't really thought about doing this as a business cause I really don't want the pressure of working to dead lines (did that for years) but who knows maybe I would someday. I just love sewing and when it is done, I will either use it or give it to whomever I decide to give it to.

    I love the idea of a deposit. I will do that for sure if I decide to start selling. I really can't believe this guy stiffed me on the pillowcases and he has the nerve to come in and out of my house every day doing the renovations.

    I love the support from this forum.
    Grandma Nan



    Nancy

    "Some of the best memories are created in flip flops"

  10. #40
    kimsophia is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Quote Originally Posted by Grandma Nan View Post
    They are still here working but I am not quite sure how to bring it up. I hate to speak to people who owe me money.
    Well, there's always deducting it from the paycheck ;-)
    Claire Hallman likes this.

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