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Thread: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

  1. #11
    Momama's Avatar Momama is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    My husband showed the girls at his work my baby blankets I was making for my nephews, well his one friend really wanted me to make him one for his daughter, then a receptionist fell in love with it, so one more boy blanket, then somewhere between all of that, another boy one popped up, so, my 3 nephews, then a girl and two boys, 6! Are you kidding! I haven't even made myself or grand kids (4) any yet! So, NO is the answer! My boys got a Christmas blanket, so now one for me, then grand kids. They do take time, money. Oh LOVE Mt Dora, we visited when we were living in orlando. Welcome to the forum!Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?-image.jpgShould I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?-image.jpgShould I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?-image.jpg these are some of the one I made
    Maureen 🙈🙉🙊

  2. #12
    Familyjournals's Avatar Familyjournals is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I'd just tell them that I charge $100 an hour plus supplies and I'm very slow at whatever I do. That should fix it. ;-)
    pcbatiks, mommamarsh and sewluvit like this.
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  3. #13
    Carlie Wolf's Avatar Carlie Wolf is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I agree with sidesaddles and Granny Fran. If it's people who are prone to take advantage having to actually pay for an item puts them off. If it doesn't and you still don't want to do it then just keep upping your prices until it's worth your while for some pin money or it prices you out of them asking. I've done things for "friends" (who are actually more like acquaintances) at just above cost , and found that after one or two times they start asking if I can do it "cheaper" for them since they've bought before or because they are "friends". I guess I don't have a good handle on it because I find myself getting annoyed, frustrated and disappointed with allowing myself to be used (AGAIN and will I ever learn).
    mommamarsh likes this.

  4. #14
    snippet's Avatar snippet is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I get this a lot at church. The ladies in the Needlecrafter's group at church warned me that once a person finds out I'm part of their group, I'd get hit up with requests. Sure enough, they came and asked.

    At first it was easy - "I'm too new to quilting".

    Now I tell them to pick out a pattern, let me see it, and go to the store and buy the fabrics. No one has taken me up on it yet, mostly because they do't want to bother - they'd rather request it and have me do all the work. But I'm sure cost is a factor as well.

    I have had others want me to make curtains ("it's just straight seams!" they say) or skirts and dress for the grandkids. Those are easy to decline.

    If you'd like to teach a class and perhaps make a little money, then you might consider it. Or how about starting a quilt circle where your friends get together and sew or craft? A club of some sort would be nice to meet new friends in your community.

    If you don't want to make the runner for your neighbor, be honest and say you consider your quilting to be your special thing and don't want to be accountable to others in your hobby.
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  5. #15
    nkabza is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Thank you so much. Sounds just like what has happened to me. We do love Mount Dora. Moved here after 13 years in Charlotte NC and prior to that SW Michigan. I keep moving further and further South. Winter here is glorious and we are so happy. Thanks for your kind words, it does make me feel better.

  6. #16
    nkabza is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Thanks to everyone who responded. I feel much better and won't hesitate to say NO thanks, the next time someone asks. I LOVE quilters. You all are awesome and have made me feel so welcome.
    MariaNaito and Juliet Taylor like this.

  7. #17
    quiltingtrish's Avatar quiltingtrish is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    I would ditto all that was mentioned before. Everyone that knows me knows "I don't sew, I just quilt" which takes care of making any kind of clothing or mending. As for making requested quilts, "no sorry - I am flattered that you asked and think that highly of my abilities, but I am not in the business of taking orders".

    Good luck!! Welcome to the group here.
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  8. #18
    songbird857's Avatar songbird857 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    It really depends upon who is doing the asking.
    Mere acquaintances - no. Just a simple "I'm sorry, I can't commit to that."
    There are a few closer people in my life that I know love to learn new things - to those people, I say "How about you go buy the material (be it yarn, fabric, whatever) and I will teach you how. If they are willing to take the time to purchase what they need, I am willing to take the time to teach them how to make it It may spark a lifelong love of quilting (or knitting, or whatever), and that, to me, is priceless.
    I have one particular friend who admires my work and has commissioned quite a few quilted things - I love her, she always pays me more than what I ask, and she gives me free reign as far as design - I just usually ask about color and run with it. It gets my creative juices flowing because I am designing each piece - it helps me grow in my skills as a quilter, and I don't feel the need to make it 'perfect' with her (although I try... )
    If my daughters ask me I always say yes More recently, I've been teaching them to make simple things themselves...
    It all depends on who asks.

  9. #19
    Genny's Avatar Genny is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    Quote Originally Posted by nkabza View Post
    I moved into an over 55 community one year ago. Since my neighbors have discovered I quilt and have a studio in my home, I have had numerous requests in the last 6 months to do "sewing" for others. Everything from showing someone how to make a quilted purse, doing alterations, to making draperies. I have declined in most cases, but my neighbor (with whom I am friends) asked me to make a table runner for her dining room table. At first I said no, but she has asked me again as she doesn't know how to sew and she is a really nice woman. I finally said yes, because I felt guilty. I don't really want to do sewing for others. I want to spend my time quilting. I've also been asked to teach others to quilt. I am not by any means a professional, but I could teach the basics. But once again, it would take away from my quilting time. I also work 1/2 time in our family business.

    Has anyone else had this experience? How do you handle it?
    If you want to make your friend a table runner as a gift...then do it. If you don't want to sew for everyone else or teach classes...just say NO and stick to it. This isn't being selfish...its just making time for yourself and you deserve it. Once you start saying yes then you're stuck in a situation you don't want to be in. If you sew for one then everyone is going to expect it. Believe me...it will take away from your quilting time.
    mommamarsh likes this.
    TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...TO HAVE A GOOD DAY...Genny

  10. #20
    mpattylou is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Should I feel imposed upon or am I just being selfish?

    When you start doing other peoples projects, it becomes WORK....not fun. I do say yes occasionally...but it has to be something I want to make. A lot of other people's projects just aren't something I even want to do.....as in "not my cup of tea".
    mommamarsh likes this.

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