Question for Guild members

I have belonged to a small quilt guild for several years. It is not associated with a church or any organization.

At our last meeting a paper was passed around the table. It was a prayer. My guess is that most of the people in the group have some kind of religious association. However, the hat we have worn at meetings so far has been our Quilter hat. The paper read as follows.

"Keep us, O Lord, from pettiness, let us be large in thought, in word, in deed.

Let us be done with fault-finding and leave off self-seeking.

May we put away all pretense and meet each other face to face, without self-pity and without prejudice.

May we never be hasty in judgement and always generous.

Teach us to put into action our better impulses, straight forward and unafraid.

Let us take time for all things, make us grow calm, serene, gentle.

Grant that we may realize that it is the little things that create differences; that in the big things of life we are one.

And may we strive to touch and know the great human heart, common to us all, and, O Lord God, let us not forget to be kind.

Nice words. There was a motion at the meeting to have all members read this at the beginning of our meetings. We are not a church group. We are not the (Catholic, or Baptist, or Lutheran, etc.) Quilt Guild.

This motion passed. I would have no problem with this Prayer if I had joined the Mulberry Church Guild. But, I joined a guild with no political or religious association. If this would have been a motion about changing our meetings from Monday to Tuesday and it and I wanted Monday, and the majority voted for Tuesday, I would not have a problem with it.

I think this motion made some of our members uncomfortable(or whatever word fits here). Should their belief, quiet belief, or non belief be taken into consideration? I know that majority rules. But, could we not take some of the words from the above and use them and think of others in the group?

Send me your thoughts.

If it makes you uncomfortable then maybe just get to the meetings a bit late. I'm not a particularly religious person but I usually just bow my head and say amen without comment. I understand your hesitation but I don't think the prayer would be harmful.

The sentiments are just fine but it does seem exclusionary to me. I'd guess that it would be off putting to new members who are Jewish, Muslim, or non-believers, for example. Could an edit be proposed taking out the appeal to God but keeping the same words about kindness, avoiding pettiness, etc? Those sentiments seem worthwhile & could be employed without invoking faith in God in a secular quilt guild. I wouldn't like this in an organization that has nothing to do with faith. Not to hurt anyone's feelings -- I know many of you have a very firm faith -- but my sister-in-law always says religion is fine between consenting adults :)

Good idea about editing. It was suggested but did not happen.

Honestly? Yes, it would definitely make uncomfortable. I would think twice about joining, even if it were edited.

I don't ever think expressions of kindness and caring are bad, regardless of the affiliation they come from! As nurses, regardless of the individuals beliefs, it is what we all hope to strive for and achieve! I think the problem occurs when ones belief is presented as superior to another's! That is the slippery slope you have to be aware of! So continue to enjoy your group but be aware if it becomes more than an expression of kindness. We could all stand a little more kindness!!! IMHO!!

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Originally Posted by irishrn

I don't ever think expressions of kindness and caring are bad, regardless of the affiliation they come from!

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If I'd go to a meeting and the first thing you hear is a reminder to everyone to basically behave like decent human beings, that would make me pause for sure! I'd think that there is a lot of cat fighting going on. Definitely not a "club" I'd want to join!

There are all kinds of groups, for all kinds of people. This is America, where everybody has a voice (or is supposed to). It does seem that Christian groups are being shut down, where Muslims or other faiths are fighting for their rights to have their say. I personally don't understand this. I would not be comfortable in a group praying to "Alah", so therefore I would not join said group. There is usually enough for everyone, and respect needs to be given to all groups. If you are uncomfortable, don't go... or, just go in later, as suggested.

What is their purpose in doing this? Are the having issues with catty ness, gossiping, or clicks? I have no problems with prayers no matter what religious affiliation but I'm so curious at their motivation. Perhaps they could pass around the quote that M* has on the front page of this forum. "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

Well, first of all, why the mandatory recitation by all? Have there been issues with this particular group, what it alludes to. I don't have a religion, just very deep personal convictions, and I study quite frequently. I have friends from a wide range of religions, and agnostics and atheists. Not my job to judge, and I try to live by that. Our group discussed this in depth, and we all agreed to a basic blessing to,watch over us in friendship, companionship and craft. We all agreed on this, as we wanted it to be inclusive of all. But then our wacky humor kicks in, and always someone adds, "........and please let CVS keep our meds in stock too! , so there ya go! ;)

I've never heard of this, but I've never been part of a guild or organized quilting group. IMO, it seems totally unnecessary & would be off-putting to any new folks attending. If there is cattiness or clickiness going on, only those people involved should be addressed, perhaps by a leader, or someone, to shape up & settle their differences. It's too bad that just a few can spoil the whole group dynamics. I hope things get settled to everyone's satisfaction. JCY

If I were to join any group, I would not be wanting to read or recite something every time there. That would be like reading the forum rules and checking off you agree before every time you log on to the forum. How ridiculous is that. I am a religious person but I respect there are those who are not or who keep it private. If the guild was started without a religous connection, it should remain that way. I have said it before, I am a brat, so I would have left and not gone back. Especially as,you say it was suggested to remove the religous portion and they declined. Sounds to me as if they had a motive maybe to get someone out.

First off, I have to say how impressed I am that the members of your quilt guild actually arrive "on time". Our quilters float in and out of our weekly meetings as if we didn't have a start and stop time. If our leader read that aloud at start time, there's a good chance she'd probably be reading it to herself. :)

Second, my guild is associated with a church, but if that were read at the "start" of our Wednesday morning meeting time, I'd have a good reason to sleep an extra 10 minutes on Wednesday morning. :icon_bored: :icon_sleep:

Thanks for all your comments. I have been going to this guild for a few years. Everyone has always been caring, helpful and fun to be with. I looked forward to going every week. I will be revisiting this motion and now I have lots of wonderful thoughts to share.

I'm probably about to give unsolicited advice, but ....Can you talk to some people before the meeting so others who are uncomfortable are ready to speak up about their feelings? Prepping for a meeting can help shyer folks express their feelings because they have time to think ahead about what they want to say. You also might talk to the person who chairs the meeting in advance about your concerns. The guild leaders might do better if they have a heads up that some people aren't happy about it. The people who proposed it surely didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable & it would be best if they weren't surprised during the meeting -- in my experience surprise leads to defensiveness, & defensiveness leads to hurt feelings.

Good luck! I hope your guild can reach a resolution that works for its members.

I belonged to a Childrens custom boutique applique group on Ebay for a couple of years. We would have group shows like patriotic, flowers, etc. We all voted. Then one of the gals brought up to put this religious thing in our listings. i didn't want to and made it clear i didn't want to be that kind of group, especially with advertising. She was a little hurt and left. I left for Etsy.

So I say it needs to be brought up, I would be uncomfortable with it.

Even if this were not prayer based........it just seems odd to have to recite something.....especially this long before every meeting. If they live by those words there is surely know reason to recite them. After reciting them a few times......everyone will just be on "auto pilot" anyway. If you enjoy the meeting and can't get them to change this rule......I think I would just show up a few minutes late.

Seems odd.

I would be wondering who the "message" is for and if that's the case, she'll never get it.

Put it in needlepoint and hang it on the wall.