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Thread: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

  1. #11
    mom4him's Avatar mom4him is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    Annika, If she doesn't respond to you talking to her, possibly she will respond to your actions. Maybe you already do these things but I would start giving her a hug several times a day and telling her how much you love her. If you pack a lunch for her put little something in her lunch to let her know how special she is. Put a note on her pillow once in a while telling her how much you love her and how special she is.
    I don't know your situation but if she has a daddy, I would encourage him to do the same.

    I fully believe that kids need to know how much their family is for them. Sometimes we talk to others about what great kids they are and forget to tell them personally. I am guilty of this at times.

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    K. McEuen's Avatar K. McEuen is online now Moderator
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    Annika, I just thought of something else after reading Sandy's message above. Your daughter may still be grieving for her father. With some people the grief process takes longer. Add that to being a teenager and she probably feels like the weight of the world is on her shoulders.
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    PeggyM's Avatar PeggyM is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    I lived through two daughters struggling with this. They each handled it differently. Can you somehow impress upon her that all her "perfect" friends are feeling the same way?

  4. #14
    Nidan_07's Avatar Nidan_07 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    Dear Annika,
    I hear what you are saying. I have a teenage boy, who is much the same. He is very reserved and a very smart, but really struggles with self confidence and some other issues. I feel blessed that he is not have any behavioural issues, but does struggle with the things that your daugher does.
    We enrolled him in a program here in Australia called Pathways. It was developed by a lady called Professor Paula Barrett, and it is absolutely fantastic. The good thing also is that has been developed and translated into a worldwide program.
    It made a big difference to our son, and it teaches them skills that they can take with them throughout their adult lives.
    Please check out their website here, Pathways Health and Research Center Click on the about us icon at the top and then click on the international partners icon. They do have an international facilitator in Sweden. It also has information about the actual programs they offer. They are designed specifically for each age group, so everyone is catered for. You can always send them an email directly through their contact icon for further information also. It has been a great tool for us. It is heartbreaking as a parent to see our children distressed and unhappy. I think I would be reaching out to some professional for some help, so that this can be resolved before it gets out of hand. All the very best with this. I hope you find that this helps. I feel what you are going through.

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    auntiemern's Avatar auntiemern is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    Annika, teenage girls have got to be the hardest thing in the world to understand. I agree with Karen, she may still be grieving the death of her dad. I would maybe talk to the family doctor about it, or take her to a counselor. She may suffer from PMS (which presents in many different forms) or PMDD (pre menstral dysphoric disorder) which my DD had, and had to take medication for.

    Or it could just be her age, which to me seems like the most likely diagnosis. She is at an age where she is trying to find herself, and define who she is. If she is having those issues, she may not feel like she has no self worth, because she hasn't found herself, or her purpose in life yet. Hang in there, any use your 'Mom' instincts. And always let her know how special she is to you.
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    Sandy Navas's Avatar Sandy Navas is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    Quote Originally Posted by K. McEuen View Post
    Annika, I just thought of something else after reading Sandy's message above. Your daughter may still be grieving for her father. With some people the grief process takes longer. Add that to being a teenager and she probably feels like the weight of the world is on her shoulders.
    You took my words. I totally agree!
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    nyscpa2be's Avatar nyscpa2be is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    (((Annika))). As someone who has battled with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager, I can totally feel where your daughter is, and I can feel how you feel, as I have seen my mom try to deal with me for years. For me, it was more than just having my mom tell me I was great - I felt that my mom had to say that, like it was her duty as a mom, but other people only had to say what they wanted to. If you can, could you talk to her friends, and ask them to just pep her up? Sometimes a short term happiness can lead to long term happiness. But if you notice this becoming a pattern, I would definitely think about taking her to a counselor. Or if you don't want to go the medical-psychiatric route, do you go to a church where there is a youth pastor? Maybe talking to him/her could help your daughter.
    PM me if you'd like to talk more. Like I said, I've been through this for almost 18 years now - and its tough to battle through. I wish I had armor around me in high school, or that I had more gumption to stand up to my bullies.
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    PeggyM's Avatar PeggyM is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    I missed the loss of the father reference. My girls' father died suddenly when they were 12 and 14. I believe they may have thought that the wrong parent died. They're 26 and 28 now, and there's enough water under the bridge that I think that is a sad memory, not a life-ruining event.

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    Nerys's Avatar Nerys is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    I would suggest via school or your home physician to get a referral to a child psychologist instead of trying to do this yourself. A few sessions of professional help might do her very good. Where I live lots of teens get this sort of help. Being a teen these days is complicated more so than in the past.

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    Davidsgirl08's Avatar Davidsgirl08 is online now Senior Member
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    Default Re: How do you tackle a case of bad self esteem in a teenager ?

    Ive been through this twice already and have three more to go. My oldest is 19 next week, a girl. She went through this at that age and currently my 16 year old son is going through this. It's a fase teenagers go through. They have so many hormones and emotions right now due to puberty. I assure them that they are loved and praise them for there achievements. I took my son to counseling because of my divorce he hated it and thought I thought something was wrong with him and was labeling him. He has good days and bad and I still have to enforce.....forced family fun to get him to go places with us, he has a good time once he's there. They think they can concur the world at sixteen....it's so cute, NOT! One of the things I do with my teenagers as well is make them read men are from mars women are from Venus. I want them to understand the opposite sex and it has helped with emotions when dealing with the opposite sex which is where a lot of self esteem issues come from. Hope that helps

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