Can anyone relate to this????

I like to call myself a "confident" beginner, BUT I am such a perfectionist....that when I even think about begging to cut, sew, piece I get all nervous. Question my ability and end up putting it off. :-( I have had one beginner quilt class (actually two, took the same class twice!) and only finished the project from the first class. The second time I took the class (appx a yr later) the project was the same, and I bought beautiful (full price) fabric for the small wall hanging. Just before the third "installment" of the class I came down with the flu and never finished the project. I hated the way the stitch in the ditch looked, even though the shop owner (also the teacher) said it looked fine and I wound up throwing it away. Yes, it was stupid....I should have finished it and it would have looked good.

I get so out done with myself!! I want to quilt. I have always been a "crafty" type person.....I began sewing in 8th grade and made a lot of my clothes in high school & college....but then 4 boys in 5 yrs came along after I got married and sewing went by the wayside. I keep telling myself that "no one is perfect", that "no quilt is PERFECT" and that I can do it.

Any suggestions as to how to overcome this problem? I have purchased some gorgeous fabric for at least 4 or 5 projects....but all I have accomplished is one small top for a wall hanging. :( HELP???

Sorry can't relate I just plunge forward and try to make lemonade out of lemons.

Thanks Jean! Plunge forward....lemonade out of lemons.....got it! :-)

Terri, I feel the same way you do. My boss once told me, don't let perfect get in the way of good enough.

I remember someone saying on here that we look at our projects too up close and see all the flaws. Try stepping back and squint a little, then it all looks perfect! :)

Susan

@Peggy...that's a good one to remember, may need to write that really big on a piece of paper & hang it in my "sewing" room.

@Susan....yeah, the squinting thing DOES work....ever tried it with Christmas lights?? If you think you have empty spots or not enough lights on your tree, step back & squint....if it looks "even" and well distributed, it's all good. :-)

I kind of know where you are coming from. I wanted to make a 4 Patch Posey quilt for my one sister. She loved sage greens and buttery yellows. Do you know how hard it was to find the "perfect" shades of those colors? After a few years (yes years) of purchasing this sage or yellow in yards and yards of them - I ended up with not knowing which ones I wanted to use. First of all, you needed yards and yards of one fabric for the squares because you had to have a repeat so many inches apart and then you laid it out with 4 layers EXACTLY on top of each other. It kind of turns out like a kaliediscope (sp?) block. I kept putting off the cutting because what if I messed it up? She gets sick. Very sick. While waiting for an approval for a gall bladder MRI to be approved, she went in to a gall bladder attack which in turn made her collapse. While waiting for the next morning to have the gall bladder taken out, a gall stone popped out and hit her pancreas. Within minutes she was put on a ventilator for at least a week where her body was basically shut down. Her odds of survival? About 22%. I told her (even though she was out) that she had to get better because I had a quilt for her. I went home and grabbed some scrap fabric and practiced. About 3/4's of the way through, I ran out of the buttery yellow I used for the sashing. She got a king size quilt and uses it every night. Is every block perfect? No. Can you see the difference in the yellows? Yes. But when she throws it across herself, she doesn't see any of that. She sees the love and prayers that went into the making of it.

Are you making these quilts for judging in shows for money? Or are you making them because you like to make quilts? They can be a source of comfort, a source of your love, a source of warmth. If you come across a pattern that might seem difficult, use scrap fabrics to try a block or two. And if you use your 'good fabric' and mess up, it is only fabric. It is supposed to be relaxing to sew and I think too many people out there think that these quilts have to be perfect.

I'm not saying to not try to do well on a project, lordy knows I have my seam ripper close by. But, you will never be happy with any finished project if you have to be too perfect. I also think that a lot of new patterns happen because of cutting or sewing mistakes and the quilts turn out beautiful.

Did I mention that her quilt got a 1st place ribbon at the County Fair (even with it's mistakes).

Hugs,

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Originally Posted by Terri

Thanks Jean! Plunge forward....lemonade out of lemons.....got it! :-)

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You can do it, Terri! Love your name, it's my little sis's name, also!

Don't be self-critical to the point of putting you into a frozen mode. Use your self-criticism to say, "Next time, I'll do this better". It's a learning curve and everything isn't going to be perfect. If you want to practice, try simple patterns using less expensive fabrics, and if it doesn't turn out perfect, find a kid or a hospital or nursing home to donate your quilt to. I practice all the time on my quilts that I give to the PICU, using donated or inexpensive fabrics. Of course, this won't work if you are not able to donate because of funds, or lack of funds, but I enjoy doing this to do my perfecting of skills.

Terri, we all started out as beginner quilters. Today, those who are new to the craft have the advantage of the internet, youtube, blog sites with instructions, MSQ forum, and helpful quilters here ready to share advice.

From many of the posts that I see here on the forum, I often think that newbies get in over their heads by selecting patterns that are too advanced or difficult for their skill level. It’s a good idea to conquer all the basics by practicing. No one is perfect; we all make goofs with our projects. It’s a learning process. Jenny has many MSQ tutorials that are easy. Start out with smaller projects, like a baby quilt, a table runner, or rug mugs.

I’ve attached a link that I think is an excellent source for basics. As you scroll down the page, you’ll note that there are quite a few short tutorials to cover most quilting questions. Practice is the key. Just dive in and do it! Have confidence. Each project will become better and better. Remember, only God can make the perfect quilt!

Diary of a Quilter - a quilt blog: Tutorials

We all started where you are, and with practice and time, our mistakes are still there, just not as noticeable as before. When we match a seam and the match is off, its not off by a quarter of an inch anymore, its off by 2 or 3 threads or right on, but it takes practice and learning the tricks. Accurate cutting and mastering your seams will come in time. These are not a mystery, just ask and someone will tell you an easy way to do what you are doing. Please don't get frustrated, and I know you will because I have been there many times, but frog it and try again.

Take the Christmas sock project on the groups tab. I tried 4 times to figure out how to get the lining on the inside with all of the seams enclosed! I finally sat down, did some research on the internet and had that "DUH!" moment. Once that happened, I was able to make 8 socks including making the pattern from scratch in about 4 hours. Now if someone had told me that you do it just like you make a vest, I could have saved myself 4 days of frustration......

So, all said and done, practice and perseverance and a lot of Joann's fabrics before you buy LQS fabrics at 12 bucks a yard.

As for stitching in the ditch, there is a foot that came with my Brother machine, it is the "R" foot for Blind stitching. I have several brother machines so I had several of this foot. I had my DH remove part of the bar that goes around the needle so now I have a 'guide' so to speak that rides right in the ditch. I set my needle position in the center, put the foot down in the ditch and go for it.

Sometimes a little thinking outside of the box is all that is needed. Keep looking ahead because every quilt after the one you just did, will be better because you learned from the mistakes you made. :)

My quilts are far from perfect, and absolutely I am my worst critic!
Others will love and cherish them because YOU made them!
As many state in this forum, "Finished is BETTER than perfect!"
just dive on in! The water is fine!
Have some fun and do not look back!

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Originally Posted by bhaggerty

My quilts are far from perfect, and absolutely I am my worst critic!
Others will love and cherish them because YOU made them!
As many state in this forum, "Finished is BETTER than perfect!"
just dive on in! The water is fine!
Have some fun and do not look back!

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I have made some hideous quilts and the recipient thinks they are beautiful! Its all in the eye of the beholder! Take a look

As with most things, there is a big learning curve here. With each project, you will see improvement. Perhaps if you concentrated on a couple of smaller projects, as Sharyn mentioned, to get the basics down. You've got to learn to walk before you run...
I made a bunch of pot-holders when I started, to get the binding technique down. I would start with re-purposed fabric and cheap FQs until you get the basics down.

Heck, if you had 4 boys in 5 years and survived, you can do ANYTHING!

It is natural to be nervous of doing something new or that confounds you to begin with. I have had a struggle with those emotions on a recent quilt design my youngest wanted. Dread poured from my very skin. But after a wee bit of encouragement from the people here and some common sense, it all comes down to one simple thing.........I love my daughter and want to make something that is special to her. And I am too dang stubborn to give up.

Perfection is just another kind of fear (of failing at something or being something). Fear stops us from growing, from learning and mostly from living. Face it straight on, sit down at your sewing machine and just let the joy of being able to do something special for someone fill your mind and your heart. You CAN do it, you just have to want it bad enough to kick those negative thoughts to the curb.

Terri, my first quilt ever was a 100"by100" in size after taking a three hour quilting essential 101 class. After the class, with the teacher's help, i selected a pattern, chose material and off i went. She had more confidence in me than i did in myself. I didn't sandwich and quilt because I don't have a good sewing machine and was told it was too big to try. But it is done. My stitches are not that straight, my 1/4 inch isn't that exact, but I made the quilt for my daughter with love. She old me she loves knowing that she is wrapped in my love every night when she goes to sleep, she's only 11. So, go ahead and have fun making your quilt. Remember, most mistakes become a style or fashion. :)

My suggestion is that you don't get in such a hurry to give up. You threw your quilt away now you regret it. Maybe set it aside for a while. The next time you look at it you might see things in a different light. Also, look at each project as a learning experience. I have several quilts like that. This is the one where I learned about not cutting off points. The fabrics I chose for this one didn't work but now I know why. This was my first attempt at hand quilting. Mitered corners on this one. FMQ doesn't look so good here but it was my first try. I think of them the same way as the squiggly drawings I've saved from my kids and grandkids. It shows I'm making progress.

Thank you, each & every one for your support, encouragement & kind words. It's "funny"....I think I have told myself almost everything that each of you has told me, but it really helps coming from those who understand.

@ quilting Trish....I got all teary eyed reading your post. So very glad your sister is enjoying her quilt made with your love and sisterly concern. (I have two sisters myself.) I am not going to make quilts for show or for sale. Just my own enjoyment and small projects for prospective gifts.

@Jean....part of the reason I am getting back (starting) quilting again is that our church had a Prayer Quilt Ministry. The group of ladies makes small (lap size) very simple quilts. Someone can request a quilt for a person/friend/relative/co-worker that may be ill, going through a rough time or just really needs their spirits lifted. They hand tie the quilts and when ready, quilts are put in the auditorium on a quilt rack and members go by and tie a knot & say a prayer for the recipient.

@Sharyn.....although I did say I have purchased fabric for more than one project, believe me NONE of the said projects are more than crib size! And mostly squares, rectangles, half square triangles & quarter square triangles.......that's as brave as I am for now.

@Susan....love your outside the box thinking! I have a Janome DC3050 and it's been such a long time, that I have used anything beside my quarter inch foot, I don't remember what I have!! I know I have a walking foot, because I had to purchase that separately also an open toe foot (purchased separately). Probably have a button hold attachment too (somewhere lol)

Since my original post this morning, I have cut squares (that need to be further cut into triangles) for my next project....so I have made some progress! :-D Thanks so much ladies!

Perfectionism is a nasty curse!!! People who are struck by it tend to wait until the last minute to do things...because of the fear of it not being perfect. They use the pressure to perform. I suffered from it for many years, until I realized that "letting go" was a much better path to walk.

In my opinion( and many may not care or agree with it) quilting should be about creating something beautiful out of scraps and pieces of fabric. It should be relaxing, not stressful...if it is...then why would you do it?? EVERY quilt has a mistake in it!! The seams arent all perfectly 1/4 inch, a piece of fabric in the wrong spot, the quilting or stitch in a ditch, out of the ditch a bit...but that's what makes it PERFECT for the recipient...it was hand crafted!!

I encourage taking classes at the LQS....take as many as you can afford...that's where you figure out that its ok to make mistakes. Quilters with years of experience make mistakes. At my LQS they say...if you can't see the mistake while riding passed on a galloping horse...then let it go!!

Don't let the fear of perfectionism be a reason not to create a quilt...if you do...then you shouldn't be doing it.

***sorry, previous post should say our church "HAS" a prayer quilt ministry

I have discovered that you are the only one who see the mis-perfections in your work. Quilting isn't suppose to be perfect. It is suppose to be enjoyed. Relax and enjoy it!

Sometimes, I think having the 4 boys in 5 yrs was easier!! lol But then I was young and naïve then.....married 2 wks after I turned 19, first son 14 months later, next son exactly one year to the day after #1, son #3 born 1 yr 5 days after son #2!! Yes, a newborn...one yr old and two old all at the same time!!! There is 2yrs 8 mo between #3 & #4. Today they are 31, 30, 29 and 27 (next month). And yes, I am still married to the same wonderful man....33 yrs in October! :-)

Question....when making pot holders, did you use a certain kind of heat resistant material? Or just the usual material & batting? Pot holders...a great Christmas gift idea!! Thanks!

Hi Terri, There is one other rule that I don't think has been mentioned yet............the galloping horse rule. It has been mentioned several times during the last couple of years by different forum members......and it is a good one! The rule is.........if you can't see the mistake riding by the quilt on a galloping horse.......then is doesn't matter. :D Here is the link to a post about my first FMQ attempt last year. Also remember that you know where your mistakes are........so you look right at them.........no one else will see them. Keep on quilting............

http://forum.missouriquiltco.com/gen...ed-gallop.html

Hi Terri :)
I say just hop in and try your best and enjoy the process.
As far as stitch in the ditch - does your machine have a serpentine stitch? It looks like an s on it's side. That is the stitch I have been using when I stitch in the ditch with my walking foot. It looks so much better than a straight stitch. Just try and guide it on the line and it looks great every time. I am practicing on my free motion quilting, but that serpentine stitch rocks!

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Originally Posted by Terri

Sometimes, I think having the 4 boys in 5 yrs was easier!! lol But then I was young and naïve then.....married 2 wks after I turned 19, first son 14 months later, next son exactly one year to the day after #1, son #3 born 1 yr 5 days after son #2!! Yes, a newborn...one yr old and two old all at the same time!!! There is 2yrs 8 mo between #3 & #4. Today they are 31, 30, 29 and 27 (next month). And yes, I am still married to the same wonderful man....33 yrs in October! :-)

Question....when making pot holders, did you use a certain kind of heat resistant material? Or just the usual material & batting? Pot holders...a great Christmas gift idea!! Thanks!

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Terri, look for Insul-Brite. It is a heat resistant batting, and have FUN! I got into a bit of a funk last winter, and making pinnies got me out of it! Small projects are a GOOD thing!

@pcbatiks.....love the galloping horse rule!! lol Should also post that near my sewing machine.

@marebear.....I haven't checked yet, but I am relatively sure that my machine has a serpentine stitch....it's got bunches! :-D

@NewYorkSue....thanks will have to write that down on my gotta get list!

I have only recently started quilting because I have 3 Granddaughters and really wanted to make them each something that would last for a long time. I watched lots of videos and decided on an easy pattern (using pre cuts) then I bought my very first sewing machine and got started.
I have learnt from each one I have made, I've done 2 already and my 3rd is almost complete.
Are they perfect? NO - Do I know where the mistakes are YES I do but I have enjoyed making them and I think that is all that matters.
When my Granddaughters are given them at Christmas they wont see the mistakes just the colours and the little motifs I have put on each of them.
Just go for it and sew away - enjoy the experience.

I don't worry so much about perfection, because only God does perfect. I believe the little imperfections make them uniquely ours. Just do it, and don't worry so much.

Here is another good one to remember: Sometimes DONE is way better than PERFECT. I think we are being a bit silly when we expect to produce a show-stopping product straight out of the gate. Any job that has an apprenticeship program takes YEARS OF PRACTICE for the apprentice to LEARN individual steps, often under supervision until they can do that step perfectly. If you really want to be perfect, then I suggest you start practicing.

I've been doing this quilty thing for a while now. I do practice a lot and I have seen vast improvement but guess what: perfection eludes me. At this point, I shoot for "pretty darn good" or "hey I'm happy with it" - I also try new patterns, harder patterns, curves, and bias bits - all with their own set of issues.

I revel in the fun of the process - the learning of it all. If I were perfect, I'd have to find a new hobby.

Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself.

I had never touched a sewing machine until Oct 2012... My lines are crooked, my 1/4 in seams arent consistent...but I am having fun and learning ...My stuff may not be ace but the love that I put in can only be matched by another quilter...

Terri, I know how you feel this happens when I want to paint. My mom told me that each "mistake" is what makes the painting or in your case the quilt uniquely yours when you make these little mistakes take a minute to say a little pray for some one or some thing, so when you see the mistake (most times only you can see the mistake) you will remember your pray. I how this helps it did for me.